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Chapter Seven
Jon-El sighed as he leaned against the porch rail. Behind him, the sun was beginning to lower and left a cold breeze in its wake.
Earlier in the day Clark had promised Jon-El that he would show him the tractor, but it never happened. By the time Clark had gotten back to the farm, it was way too late for farm activities that didn't actually benefit the farm. Then he had been called off to do superhero work.
He shouldn't have been surprised, he really shouldn't have been. But... Maybe some part of him had wanted to see the farm, to spend time with the doppelganger of the man who had never been around for him.
But maybe there was no good Kal-El.
Maybe all they ever did was lie.
He sighed again as he laid his chin against his crossed arms. He should have known better...
"Jon-El?"
Jon-El jumped, then turned around at the voice of his mother's doppelganger. He tried not to look like a deer in the headlights, he hated looking weak or scared around this Lois Lane.
"Everything okay?" she asked as she walked up and leaned against the porch railing. The last rays of the sun caught her brown and it glowed an auburn gold. Jon-El's mother had always worn her hair black. In fact, his mother had tried to convince him to dye his own blond curls black more times than Jon-El could count. Keeping it blond was one of his many acts of rebellion, one he was much more proud of than others.
Jon-El shrugged. "I guess..."
Lois raised her eyebrow. "That wasn't very convincing," she told him.
He signed, then leaned back against the railing. He didn't know how to put it into words. He was hurt that the promise had been broken, but he also wasn't Clark's kid. Besides, it was a stupid tractor. Why did he care so much?
Lois gently bumped her shoulder against his, and Jon-El's mind went blank. For as long as he could remember, that was his mother's way of subtly showing affection. But Lois hated him, she had made that clear from the beginning.
"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked. "I can't even imagine how hard this has been for you."
Jon-El looked down at the ground. Why was she being so nice to him? Only a few days ago he had tried to merge with her son, hurt her husband, and kidnapped Lana. He didn't deserve her kindness. He didn't deserve anything.
Well... There was one thing that he deserved.
He deserved the consequences that had come from his actions. He had deserved Ally's punishment, the pain from having his energy drained, Jordan and Lois's hatred, Jon's fear, and the inability to ever get back to his own world.
That was what he deserved.
He would never see his mother again, or his twin. He didn't care that he wasn't famous anymore, and he had been powerless for most of his life.
But his twin had been one of the few consistent things in his life for longer than Jon-El could remember. Even though he had been going through a rough patch, he still liked him. And being without him hurt so badly...
Suddenly, Jon-El couldn't hold it in any longer and he accidentally let out a hiccuping sob.
He wanted to be home. Even if they hated him for what he did, even if they surrounded him with X-K... He wanted a hug from his mother, or even a shared joke with Jordan-El. But it wouldn't happen.
He was stuck here.
Stuck.
He couldn't stop the tears as they ran down his cheeks.
Without warning, Jon-El felt a gentle hand on his back, though he continued to cry as his mother's doppelganger comforted him.
"You're okay," she soothed. "Everything's okay."
It wasn't okay. He wasn't okay.
He was such a crybaby, crying in front of Lois about his twin and mother. Neither of them cared about him or loved him. In their last minutes together, they had been against him.
"It's not about the stupid tractor," he gasped between sobs.
"I never said it was," Lois said as she rubbed his back. "And it's okay even if it was."
Jon-El nodded, then sniffled. He didn't want to believe that, he couldn't believe that. How many times had he been scolded for crying over something that he thought was important?
"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked.
Jon-El hesitated. Surely she knew about his twin, and she definitely knew about his mother, but did he want to give her the details? Did he want to tell her how fractured their relationship had become? How one of the last things his mother did to him was duct tape X-K to his chest?
He swallowed at the thought of the painful memory. The moment when even his mother gave up hope for him.
No. Jon-El didn't want Lois to know. Not yet, at least.
He shook his head.
Lois nodded. "Okay," she said. "I am here for you if you decide that you do want to talk."
"Thanks," Jon-El said, though it was all he could say with the tightness of his throat. Why was she being so nice to him? Didn't she hate him?
A moment of silence lapsed between them, the only sounds were the crickets and the wind rustling the cornstalks. It was a peaceful sound, one that Jon-EL had forgotten about after he became a celebrity. His life had become so much harder after he saved that guy's life. He would never regret saving him, but he wished that he could have been more secretive…
"It's getting a bit chilly," Lois said. "I think I'm gonna go inside."
Jon-El nodded. "Okay," he replied. "I'll be in in a few minutes."
When Jon-El came in a little bit later, he could hear the Kents chattering away and laughing in the living room. It was a foreign sound to him, if he was being honest. Had he ever laughed with his own family the way that Jon was laughing with his?
He hesitated in the hall for a moment. If he was quiet, he could get to his room without being noticed, but did he really want to be alone again? And what was so funny anyways?
In the end, curiosity won out and Jon-El peered into the room.
It was exactly what he had pictured. Clark sat in the armchair with Lois on his lap, Jordan sat curled under a blanket on the sofa, and beside him Jon sat with his feet propped up on the coffee table.
They were all laughing, all smiling.
It was nothing like Jon-El's family. Nothing like their forced bonding time with more fights and silence than conversations and laughter.
"Hey, Jon-El," Clark greeted, his voice cheerful and upbeat. "Do you wanna join us?"
"We have hot chocolate," Lois added.
Jon-El shrugged, then walked over and sat down between the twins. He tried not to notice that they had left out an extra mug for him. Had they expected him?
The conversation picked back up a moment later, and Jon-El tried to just observe it as it flowed around him.
They talked about their days, the mundane things that they had done, the superpowered saves, their hopes for tomorrow, their anxieties.
Had his family ever done something like this?
Jon-El picked up the warm mug and took a small sip of the rich chocolate liquid as he continued to watch the conversation around him. One thing he noted was how quiet his doppelganger stayed. The few questions aimed at him were answered with just a couple of words. Did Jon feel as out of place as he did?
"What did you do today, Jon-El?" Clark asked.
He froze, not expecting the conversation to have landed on him. In the moment, all he could think to do was shrug again.
"Um… Not much," he said. He could feel the eyes of every Kent on him. Jordan's made him the most uncomfortable though. On his world, Jordan had been the weak one, but here? Jordan was the strong one, and he had no problem making Jon-El aware of that.
"I did a bit of cleaning, then tried to find something to watch," he explained when he realized that his previous answer wasn't going to satisfy any of the Kents.
"Did you find something to watch?" Clark asked.
Jon-El leaned back against the couch. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Jon scoot a bit closer to the edge of the couch.
"Not really," he said. "I guess my favorite shows don't exist here."
"How different are the worlds, Dad?" Jordan asked.
Clark sighed, then leaned back against his chair. "They're pretty different, but I wouldn't call them complete opposites," he said. "But I'm not sure, I was only there for a day."
"Maybe Jon-El can tell us sometime," Lois said. "But it's time for bed. Tomorrow's a school day."
Jon-El placed his cup on the tray beside everyone else's, then snuck out of the room and retreated to his bedroom as the twins told their parents goodnight.
He crept into bed long before he heard the sounds of the twins coming upstairs or even the sound of Lois and Clark making their way to their bedroom.
For a second, he thought that Lois and Clark were going to come into his room and wish him a goodnight, but they didn't. That was fine though, it wasn't like he was their kid. They had only taken him in because of what had happened with Ally.
He wondered if he would be here long, or if they would eventually get tired of him and kick him out? After all, he was nothing now that his powers were gone. Why would they keep him? His own parents hadn't even liked him.
Jon-El tried to shake the thought out of his head, but it wouldn't leave. Just like how he was stuck here on this earth. Forever.
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