Widow Robbins II
May 2007 - Part 1
"Arizona's acting weird," Callie said to Addison as they walked down the hall.
"How so?"
Callie shrugged. "I don't know. She just is."
"Gee, that tells me a lot," Addison rolled her eyes at her friend's vagueness. Callie had been complaining for the past two weeks that the couple hadn't been spending enough time together, that their schedules were not in sync at all. "Have you tried, I don't know, talking to her?"
"Gee, why didn't I think of that?" Callie said sarcastically. "Of course, I've tried talking to her, Addison, when we actually have a moment to see each other, but she keeps distracting me with sex!"
"And that's a bad thing?"
"Well, no, not really, not completely." Callie would never turn down sex with Arizona, but lately it seemed that it was their only interaction. "I think she's hiding something."
"Like what?"
"If I knew, it wouldn't be an issue." Callie was exasperated. "She's just been, weird, since we got back from Miami. It makes me wonder if my mother or father said something to her."
"I thought you told me your vacation was fine."
"It was. It was great. Everyone got along great."
"So, maybe there's no issue. Maybe Arizona is just stressed about work. She is working a lot of hours, and the temp attending in peds is a real jerk."
"So I've heard. Maybe that's what it is."
"He is not happy that Arizona, a mere fellow in his eyes, is running the department and not him."
"That's just stupid. He's a temp!"
"A temp who thinks he's going to take over peds when Kenley retires."
"What?" Callie stopped walking. "On what planet would new guy get the position? Besides, while he's cutting back his hours, everyone knows Kenley's not retiring anytime soon."
"I overheard him say that to one of the residents. Which is just wrong. Richard and Jordan have already decided that it's going to be Arizona."
"Really?" Callie suddenly smiled, proud of her girlfriend. "I'd heard some talk here and there because, you know, people talk a lot here."
"It's not official by any means, but Arizona will be head of peds when the time comes." They stepped into the elevator together. "So how's the babysitting going with Arizona being at the hospital so much?"
"I'm not a babysitter," Callie bristled.
"Then being a mom."
Callie sputtered over her words. "I'm not their mom. I'm just… Callie." Why did that pang in her chest happen whenever she made these assertions?
"Isn't it time you changed that?" Addison questioned with a knowing purse of her lips.
Callie watched her friend disappear around the corner, leaving her with her thoughts. Addison was right. It was time she changed her status within the Robbins-Torres family. She wasn't sure why she had been putting off her talk with Barbara, but she needed to do that before she got the ring from Daniel. Why does asking Arizona to marry me have to be so hard?
# # # # # # # # # #
Arizona hated secrets even though she was good at keeping them. At least keeping them for other people. But having a secret of her own? A big one? It was killing her. And the secret became even bigger when she received a small package sent to her at work from Carlos.
She knew she was acting weird as both Callie and Teddy had noted but fortunately a busy schedule at work kept her interactions with Callie to a minimum. She'd had one week after her vacation to get back into the swing of things and then Kenley had gone on a vacation of his own, leaving Arizona in charge of peds for two weeks. That meant working more nights and being on call more than she wanted. Callie was busy as well, between surgeries and studying for her boards, she didn't have time to question Arizona.
It was late, almost eleven o'clock and she still had eight more hours to go on her shift. The peds floor was quiet as she walked down to her office. She closed the door behind her and unlocked the desk drawer where she'd stashed the ring. She opened the box and admired the ring. It was beautiful, elegant even. She couldn't wait to slip it on Callie's finger. If she could only think of the way to propose.
A sharp knock at her door startled her, and she shoved the ring back into the drawer. "Come in."
"Hey, Arizona," Teddy said, dropping into the solitary extra chair in Arizona's office.
"You're here late," Arizona commented. "I have to work, so what's your excuse?"
"Caught an emergency surgery." Teddy studied her friend's face. Arizona had been acting a little off, like she had something on her mind. "Everything okay?"
"Yes," she said quickly. "Why do you ask?"
"You seem kind of jumpy." Arizona remained silent and she glanced at the desk drawer. "We're friends, Arizona. You're my best friend. If there's something troubling you, you know you can talk to me, right?" Teddy prodded.
"I have a ring," she blurted.
"Okay?"
"A ring. For Callie.
"That's nice. Did you get it for her birthday?"
"A ring ring." Arizona emphasized trying to clue in her friend without outright saying it.
Teddy's eyes widened. "Oh! Ohhhh." she exclaimed. "So what's the problem?"
Arizona shifted uncomfortably. "I don't know how to propose."
"Are you going for something romantic or making a big production out of it?"
"I don't know," Arizona sighed.
"Well, how did you propose the first time?"
"I didn't."
"Then how did Jillian?"
"She didn't either. We never really exchanged rings or had any kind of ceremony."
"But you called her your wife." Teddy was confused.
"I did because she was my wife in every sense of the word, just not… officially." She reached into her desk drawer. "Do you want to see the ring?"
"Of course." Teddy eagerly leaned forward in her chair as Arizona slid the box to her. Teddy opened the box and gasped. "Wow! That's some ring."
"It belonged to Callie's grandmother. Her dad gave it to me to give to her." Teddy handed the ring back to her. "I keep thinking a ring like that deserves a grand gesture."
"But that really isn't you, Arizona." Teddy thought for a moment. "Maybe not knowing how to propose means you're not ready, that it's a sign that it's too soon?"
"What?"
"It seems kinda quick, Arizona. You haven't even lived together for a month and you're proposing?"
"If life has taught me anything it's that I have to live in the now."
Teddy fell silent. Knowing about Arizona's late wife and her brother, well, she really couldn't find fault with Arizona not wanting to waste a moment. "I wouldn't overthink it," she finally said. "You usually do that, you know."
"I do," Arizona admitted.
"I think you should just let it happen. You'll know when the time is right."
"You really think so?" Arizona was skeptical.
"I do." Teddy nodded. "If you start overplanning or worrying about it, you'll drive yourself crazy - even more than you are now," she teased.
"And I am. Going crazy." Teddy began to chuckle. "What's so funny?"
"I'm having trouble picturing you walking down the aisle in a big fluffy white dress. Are you really going to do that?"
"If that's what Calliope wants, that's what I'll do."
"Still…" The cardio surgeon giggled thinking about Arizona in an over-the-top wedding gown.
"Teddy. I wouldn't laugh too hard."
"What?"
"You might find yourself in a big puffy dress," Arizona stated cryptically with a twinkle in her eyes.
"Why? I'm not the one getting married."
"Yes, but a bride's best revenge is making the bridesmaids wear something hideous."
"Bridesmaid?"
Arizona couldn't believe her friend's obtuseness. "Well, yeah. I want you to be my maid of honor."
Teddy's mouth dropped open. "Me?"
"Well, yeah, of course. I thought you knew."
"Really?"
"You're my best friend, Teddy. Obviously, I want you as my maid of honor."
"I'd be honored to stand up for you, Arizona," Teddy said sincerely, then her tone changed. "But do you know what a bridesmaid's revenge is?" she asked as she stood up.
"Do I want to know?"
"Turning the tables whenever it's her turn to be the bride," Teddy said with a wink as she walked out of the office, leaving Arizona to wonder if she'd made a terrible mistake.
# # # # # # # # # #
It was later than Callie had wanted it to be when she arrived home. The grocery store lines were longer than she'd expected for a weeknight. She knew she could've asked Barbara to pick up a few things, but she didn't want Barbara to think she was totally incompetent as a mother/spouse before she even talked to her. Yeah, not being able to do my share of household chores would not be a good start to asking Barbara about marrying Arizona, she thought.
She sighed as she slung her purse strap over her shoulder and balanced two bags of groceries. It was never ending. Groceries, cooking, cleaning, laundry. Spending time with the girls. Even though she'd moved in almost a month ago, and had been practically living with them even longer, the day-to-day stuff still felt overwhelming at times.
It didn't help that Arizona's hours were absolutely horrible right now, and she herself was working extra hours and trying to study. She didn't know what they would do without Barbara and Daniel and the sitters. At some point, they were going to have to stop relying so much on them. If we can just get through the next six weeks until boards, she thought. Surely it'll get better after that.
Hearing Callie fumble with the doorknob, Barbara jumped up from the dining room table to help. "Oh, Callie, let me give you a hand," she said, taking one of the bags that was threatening to slip from Callie's grasp.
"Thank you. Sorry I'm late," she apologized as she followed Barbara into the kitchen. "Surgery ran late and then the grocery store was so busy."
"It's quite alright," Barbara assured her as she began unloading the grocery bags.
"Oh, finish your dinner. I can take care of this," Callie insisted.
"There's plenty to eat. Can I make you a plate?"
"No, I'll get it. Thanks."
"Callie!" Cam and Vivvy shouted as they got down from the dining room table, earning a small frown from their grandmother. "You're home!"
"I am." No matter how stressed Calllie was about the current situation with work and not being home enough, having the girls run to her and give her hugs made it all worth it.
"Girls, come finish your dinner," Barbara said sternly.
The twins reluctantly returned to the table and resumed eating, Callie joining them a few minutes later. She loved how much life the girls brought to a dismal day as they chattered away, telling her about school and their friends.
"Arizona said she'd be home in the morning in time to take the girls to school, unless she has an emergency surgery," Callie said as she scraped the last of her dinner up with her fork.
"Is her boss back from vacation?" Barbara asked while she cleared the table.
"Yes, he came back today."
"That's good. Hopefully Arizona won't be working so many hours."
"Can we be 'scused?" VIvvy asked.
"We want to watch Scooby Doo," Cam explained.
"Ruh roh, Raggy," Callie imitated the classic cartoon dog causing the girls to laugh with delight.
"Pajamas first," Barbara instructed and the girls scrambled out of their chairs to run upstairs. "I had them take their baths before dinner. They were a bit muddy after playing outside after school."
Callie nodded. "Could you stick around after they go to bed?"
"Of course. Is something wrong?"
"No, I just, um, want to talk to you about something."
"Okay."
Two episodes of Scooby Doo and one story later, Callie was tucking the girls into their bunkbeds. "Good night, Cam. Good night, Vivvy. Sweet dreams."
"Good night, Callie," they said sleepily.
Callie waited until they were asleep before leaving the room. Sitting with Cam and Vivvy at night was one of her favorite moments. She tiptoed out of the room, leaving the door ajar like always. When she got downstairs, Barbara was in the kitchen.
"Would you like a cup of tea, Callie? I was just making myself one."
"Yes, please. That would be nice."
Barbara took out a second mug and added a tea bag to it. She removed the tea kettle just as it began to whistle and poured them both a cup. She slid one over to Callie and then she sat down at the breakfast bar. "So, what did you need to talk to me about?"
Callie moved to the other side of the counter so she could face her and leaned against it. "Did Daniel happen to mention the conversation I had with him when we were in Miami?"
"No," she answered, a little bit confused. "Daniel doesn't tell me everything, and if it was said in confidence, you can be assured that he would never say a word."
"I, uh," She cleared her throat, wanting to sound confident and sure. "I want to propose to Arizona."
"That's wonderful, Callie, but it's not my business," Barbara said calmly, then a smile broke out on her face. "Oh who am I kidding? You wouldn't be telling me about it if it wasn't my business." She reached across the countertop and squeezed Callie's hand. "Do you have a ring yet? Do you need me to watch the girls when you do? When are you planning on it? How are you going to do it?"
Feeling overwhelmed by Barbara's questions, Callie stammered at first. "I… uh… I haven't really planned anything yet. Daniel said I needed to talk to you before he'd give me his mother's ring."
"Oh, what a lovely idea. His mother's ring! Arizona so loved that ring when she was a little girl," she gushed excitedly.
"As to asking her, um, I was wondering…."
"Yes?"
"Did Arizona or Jillian ever propose? I'm only asking because I don't want to copy a proposal."
Barbara didn't need to take long to think about it. If there had ever been an actual proposal, she would have known. "Not to my knowledge, no, but Arizona was so laser-focused on becoming a surgeon back then. I know she called Jillian her wife, but they never had any ceremony of any kind. To be honest, I was stunned when Arizona told me Jillian was pregnant. I didn't think I was ever going to have grandkids."
"Really?"
Barbara nodded. "It wasn't anything Arizona ever talked about growing up. You know how some people talk about having kids." The older woman got a small far-away look on her face. "Tim always wanted kids, wanted a big family. Arizona used to say she'd just be the cool aunt."
"She must have loved Jillian very much to change her mind," Callie murmured, suddenly feeling insecure.
"Callie, I've said this before, and I don't want to say it again. Do not compare yourself to Jillian."
"I'm not, I'm just…"
"You are, and it needs to stop today. Yes, Arizona loved Jillian, but if my opinion means anything to you."
"It does."
"Arizona loves you. I've never seen her love so deeply and so truly."
"Really?"
"Yes."
Callie took a sip from her now cold tea, then set it back down. "Do you think Arizona will say yes?"
"If she's not an idiot, and I didn't raise my daughter to be an idiot."
Callie snorted, then giggled at Barbara's comment. She quickly slapped her hand over her mouth in embarrassment. "She's not an idiot."
"No, not really, but there are moments where I wonder," Barbara said with a small laugh. "You should go over to the house and get the ring from Daniel. Tell him I sent you."
"Are you sure you don't mind staying a little longer?"
"Of course not. You'd be better off getting it now while Arizona isn't around and the girls are asleep."
"If you really think so…"
"Go," Barbara said with a shooing motion of her hand. "I'm going to make myself another cup of tea."
"I won't be long."
Once Callie was gone, Barbara carried her cup of tea into the living room. She settled on the couch to relax. She couldn't help but daydream about a wedding for her daughter. When Arizona was growing up, she'd always imagined that day, and then when Arizona came out, that dream had faded. She had hopes once again when Arizona and Jillian had become serious, but Arizona had always been so ambivalent about marriage with Jillian. And then when Jillian had died, the dreams disappeared completely.
Since the day Callie had entered their lives, the hope had been rekindled. Barbara had loved Jillian like a daughter, and it was clear that Arizona had loved her. But with Callie, the love she had for Callie, just seemed more.
The sound of the backdoor opening ended her daydreams and jolted her from her memories. "Is everything set?" she called out.
"What?" Arizona asked, stepping into the room, a confused look on her face. "Why are you here so late?"
"Oh, I thought you were Callie."
"Where is she?"
"Oh, she was freaking out about the boards, and I told her to take a walk and clear her head," Barbara lied. "I thought you were Callie and was asking if the walk helped things fall into place."
"She's been working so hard lately. That was probably a good idea."
Callie suddenly burst in the front door, then froze in her tracks when she saw Arizona.
"Oh good, Callie, you're back. I was just telling Arizona about your little meltdown over your boards. Did the walk help?"
Callie realized that Barbara was providing her with an alibi. "Yeah, it did. Too much studying. My brain was on overload and nothing was sticking," she babbled. "I couldn't remember anything."
"You have been studying a lot," Arizona said in agreement, walking up to her and giving her a kiss. "A break, some fresh air was a good idea."
"What are you doing home so early?" Callie quickly added, "not that I'm not happy to see you. I'm really happy to see you," she rambled on.
From behind Arizona's back, Barbara rolled her eyes and got up. "I'm going to head home."
"Still on to come over for Mother's Day dinner?" Arizona confirmed.
"We'll be here." She rinsed out her tea cup then grabbed her purse. "Have a good night you two."
"Thanks, Mom."
"Thanks for staying, Barbara. The break was just what I needed." She turned back to Arizona once Barbara closed the door behind her. "I am really happy to see you. I feel like I've barely seen you since we got back from vacation."
"I know, sweetie. Me too. Kenley let me leave early tonight, said I earned a night off."
"That's great. You deserved it." She pulled Arizona into a tight hug.
"Mmm," Arizona murmured, sinking further into Callie's embrace. "I've missed that."
"And I've missed you."
Arizona became aware of how quiet the house was. "Girls?"
"In bed and sound asleep."
"Well, what do you say we head to bed where we can 'un-miss' one another?" Arizona suggested coyly.
"Is that even a word?" Callie laughed.
"Maybe not," Arizona said with a shrug. "But you get my intent."
Callie grabbed her hand and tugged her towards the stairs. "I do, and I think it's time to do some un-missing, lots of it." As they walked upstairs hand in hand, they reveled in the prospect of being able to reconnect.
# # # # # # # # # #
A few days later, Cam and Vivvy sat at the dining room table waiting for their after school snack.
"So, what do you want to do today?" Kara asked the girls as she and her sister Megan prepared a snack. "It's a nice day. Do you want to go to the park?"
"Maybe play some soccer?" Megan suggested. She'd been babysitting with her sister for the past two weeks, sometimes even by herself. She enjoyed the girls, and she'd noticed Cam's soccer skills. She hoped that she could maybe coach her a little or even volunteer to help coach her soccer team.
"Or maybe we could draw on the driveway with chalk?"
"No. We have somethin' we hafta do,'' Cam said as she picked up an apple slice from the plate Kara had set down on the table. She was still wearing a red plastic fireman's helmet. Apparently two firefighters had come to their class to teach fire safety. Cam and Vivvy had both been in awe and now Cam refused to take her helmet off.
"Do you have homework?" Kara thought homework for kindergartners was a little much. She didn't remember having any when she was their age.
"No, we made Mother's Day cards for Mommy but we couldn't make one for Callie," Vivvy said as she dunked her apple slice into the small cup of peanut butter.
"She's not our mommy," Cam added.
"But we want her to be so we're gonna make her cards, too," Vivvy further explained.
"That's a wonderful idea," Kara said. "I'm sure she'll really like that."
"But we gotta do it before they come home."
"Yeah, it's a surprise."
"So we gotta hide them."
"And hide Mommy's."
Megan watched the banter in wonder. She was close to her sister, but she and Kara never finished each other's thoughts and sentences like Cam and Vivvy did. She still found it a bit weird, but supposed it was a twin thing. Kara had told her all about the 'twinspeak' that they sometimes used. She hadn't heard any of that yet, and hoped they'd outgrow it. She wasn't sure if she could decipher any of it. As it was, sometimes they spoke so fast she could hardly understand them.
"Let's finish up your snacks and then we can go make cards for Callie," Kara said.
The twins quickly finished their apple slices and cups of milk. Once the kitchen was tidied up, the four of them went up to Cam and Vivvy's playroom where they started to pick out paper and crayons.
"Are you going to make one big card for Callie or do you want to each make one?"
"We both made Mommy a card so we both hafta make Callie a card," Cam insisted.
The girls opened their backpacks and took out the cards they'd made for Arizona. Vivvy had used yellow construction paper and had decorated it with flowers and butterflies. On the inside she'd written in her neatest five-year old handwriting "Happy Mother's Day. I love you Mommy" with her signature. Cam's card for Arizona was light green, covered with stickers and a drawing of what Kara and Megan both thought might be a bird. The message on the inside was the same as Vivvy's card, but Cam had also drawn a heart.
"What color paper do you want for your cards?" Kara asked, taking out a packet of construction paper.
"I want blue!" Cam exclaimed.
"Orange," Vivvy chose.
Kara handed Vivvy a pale orange piece of paper and Cam a light blue piece of paper. The girls went to work immediately adding drawings to the front of the card. They were able to print Happy Mother's Day on the inside by copying what they'd written in their mother's card.
"Can you help us with the rest?" Vivvy asked politely.
"What do you want to write?"
"Will you be our Mama," Cam said very seriously.
Megan sat down on the floor with them and printed the words for them to copy. "I think Callie will love your cards," she said.
"I hope so," Vivvy said. "I really want her to be our Mama."
"We love Callie."
Both girls added an "I love you" to the cards before signing them.
"We have to hide them," Vivvy announced.
"Where do you think would be a good place?" Kara asked.
"Um… what do you think, Vivvy?" Cam was uncertain and deferred to her sister.
"I don't know," she said, her lip quivering.
"Well, let's see what we can do," Kara said, heading off what looked to be a meltdown forming. "Not your backpacks because you'll have to empty them." The girls shook their heads in unison. "How about hiding them in one of your books?"
"What if Mommy or Callie reads it?"
"Well, that's true. What if when you pick out a book tonight or tomorrow night, you don't pick that one? We could put the book at the bottom of the stack," she suggested.
Cam and Vivvy looked at one another as if in silent conversation, then both nodded. "That's a good idea."
The girls picked up their cards and ran to their bedroom. "I'm gonna have you on speed dial," Megan said in amazement. "I would never have come up with that."
Kara laughed. "You'll be fine. They're getting older every day so the meltdowns aren't as frequent."
"I guess I'll just have to tire them out."
Kara laughed again at her sister. "You say that now. Just wait. They'll be tiring you out."
With the cards hidden away, they went outside where they spent some time drawing on the driveway with chalk. After that, they drew a hopscotch board. They were still playing when Callie and Arizona arrived home. Cam and Vivvy happily waved at them when they first saw the car, then quickly moved out of the way so Arizona could pull the car into the garage.
"Mommy!"
"Callie!"
Once they were out of the car, the girls ran to them for their hugs.
"What's this?" Callie asked, tapping the firefighter's helmet that Cam still wore.
"The firefighters came to school today!" Vivvy told them.
"They were so cool," Cam said.
"We learned lots of things from them."
"And what did you learn?" Arizona asked.
The two girls looked at one another, then shouted "Stop! Drop! Roll!". They then proceeded to demonstrate. Cam's helmet fell off and Arizona picked it up and then put it atop her head. Cam and Vivvy giggled at the helmet perched on their Mommy's head.
"I want to be a firefighter," Cam said, reaching for the helmet.
"How about you graduate kindergarten first?" Arizona laughed as she placed the helmet back on Cam's head. Why does Cam always want to do something dangerous? Arizona thought. I hope she outgrows these ideas soon. She turned her attention to Vivvy. "What about you, little miss? What are you going to be when you grow up?"
"A dancing draw-er!" She exclaimed with a twirl.
"A dancing draw-er?" Arizona questioned puzzled.
"I can dance while I draw pictures." She giggled and twirled again.
"That's stupid!" Cam said, rolling her eyes. "That's not even a real job."
"You're stupid." Vivvy shot back, swaying slightly from the dizziness of twirling.
"Girls, that's not nice," Callie warned.
"But it's not! Firefighters are cool and save lives, like you and mommy but not with the blood."
Callie knelt down to Cam's level. "There's all kinds of jobs that other people think are made up or stupid. That doesn't make them any less real though. It's not kind to make fun of someone because of their dreams." Cam stuck her lower lip out in a pout. "When I was your age, I wanted to be a mermaid."
"Everyone knows mermaids aren't real," Cam scoffed.
"Then when I was ten, I wanted to be an underwater basket weaver."
Vivvy laughed and Arizona stifled a chuckle. Cam's eyes widened with incredulity. "That's not a real thing."
Callie laughed. "It's a very real thing and my sister made fun of me for it for a long time. It made me not like her for a while."
Cam looked over at her sister and frowned. "I don't want Vivvy not to like me."
"You're sisters. You're going to fight and disagree sometimes, but it's not nice to call each other stupid just because you don't agree with each other. Okay?" When Cam nodded, Callie continued, "Alright. Apologize to your sister and let's get ready for dinner."
Arizona watched as the girls murmured apologies to each other and ran inside. She held out a hand to help Callie to her feet, then pressed a quick kiss to her lips. "You handled that like a pro."
"Really?"
"Really really," Arizona said in her terrible Scottish accent.
"We need to work on your impressions," Callie groaned as they headed inside, but a small smile tilted at her lips. For now, she actually believed her girlfriend's words.