She ran her gloved hands over a peach in her palms. Vethari had been planning on eating it, but just couldn't bring herself to do it. Currently, she was standing on the balcony where the Spymaster received her messages via crow. It wasn't quite obvious to her yet if this was her way of hiding from Zevran or looking for a way to find more answers from Leliana and while shr figured that out Zevran was probably still in the town, helping the locals and sharing stories of his adventures. Things stayed tense between them. It's now she preferred it.
"Didn't think I would find you here." Leliana joined her side, and Vethari decided to finally bite into the peach skin and all. There was a brief moment of joy as it reminded her of her childhood. Her father had brought the fruits home as a rare treat.
"It's been a week, are you sure she's coming?"
Leliena leaned down by the railing of the balcony, brushing her hand over the wood finish. "She'll come, even if she's been ignoring my messages recently. I've never known Attie to shy away from the important things for long, though she did like to get distracted. So, what is going on with you and Zev?" She changed the subject so fast that Vethari could feel the emotional whiplash twisting in her.
"Nothing."
"Unbelievable, you have been here for a week already and you are just as guarded as always. You are hurting him, Vetri, surely you can see that?"
Vethari took another bite from the peach, but it was no longer a sweet and juicy fruit. Instead, it was sour and unappetizing, reflecting the bitterness that had taken root within her.
"He'll live."
Leliana's face twisted into a scowl, "Zevran doesn't deserve to be treated this way. When he reached out to me about your Calling, I was almost tempted not to look into it. After everything you did-"
Vethari scowled back and tossed the peach aside, the fruit sailing over the balcony before it hit the ground with a thud. She ran her hands over her head and rested her forehead on the wood. "Do you know what cruelty is, Leliana? It's giving someone hope when you know that your story will end in tragedy."
Leliana's expression softened as she stepped closer to Vethari. "You don't know that. You've already achieved the impossible. You defeated the Archdemon and survived. We have the book. Solas is the key to unlocking what the Blight is, and by following his trail, we find a cure."
"We both know what I asked Alistair to do to keep myself alive, and the stupid fool did it. Because he was good, and I was the demon. The knife-eared monster, a title I've come to embrace. No matter what I tell Zevran, he stays by my side like a loyal, lost dog. He's better off hating me."
The air between them was thick with unsaid feelings, and Leliana let out a heavy sigh, placing her hand on Vethari's shoulder. "I understand where you are coming from. I was lost for years after everything that happened, and that's when I became devoted to the Divine. I loved her." Leliana paused for a moment before continuing. "I thought I misunderstood what the Maker wanted from me. I thought he wanted me to only focus on killing those who threatened us."
Vethari looked at Leliana, a hint of confusion on her face. "You know I don't believe in the Maker or the Dalish gods..."
Leliana chuckled softly. "No, that's not what I mean. You are still so literal. What I'm saying is that I know the darkness you speak of, but it was when I let my friends in that things became clearer. The light made its way through the overcast of my soul, and I am grateful every day for my companions for helping me carry that burden."
Vethari stared at Leliana with a sort of confusion, she wasn't quite sure why she was being so kind and nice to her. It made her angry because everything she tried to do was to lessen the hurt everyone would feel when she finally died. It was a fucked up idea to her that anyone would hold unto people that were just targeted by fate for a brutal death. Leliana wasn't an exception to that rule just because they drifted apart over the years. "That is a very adorable sentiment, but I'm not about load all of my shit onto Zevran so that he can grip a corpse for assurance. He needs to move on from me. The only reason I even agreed to all of this and chasing a fairy tale is because I at least owe it to him to try at least one more time."
Leliena didn't get to respond as a commotion gathered by the gates. Kids were pushing through the adults trying to take a look at the stranger riding into Lothering on a majestic beast. A hart. Vethari had never seen one quite so close up.
"Is that your Inquisitor, Leliana?" Vethari pushed herself away from the balcony, heading for the stairs, she wanted to see the woman herself up close.
"Yes!" Leliana said brightly and even though she didn't run, her pace was lighter. It hit Vethari that her old companion was happier to see the Inquisitor than she would ever be to see her.