"You enjoying yourself there?", Cappie smirks at me as I dip my fries in a cup of vanilla soft serve ice cream.
"Very much", I grin.
We're looking over the pages that Dr. Goldsmith gave us.
"So they're asking about what I want to do on the day, when I have her", I say. "What kind of pain intervention, who can sign off on a c section if I can't myself… and who I want in the room…"
I look up at him to see his eyes big, scanning my face to perhaps feel out what I'm thinking before he says anything.
"Well… I think you should have whoever you want in the room, whoever makes you feel safe. And if that's me, then I'd be really… honoured and, well happy to be there when she's born. But if it's not Case-"
I cut him off before he can talk any further. Really all I wanted to know was that he was willing to be there.
"It is Cap", I say quickly and write down his name down beside the space that says 'birthing partner'. "I think I only want you there when she's actually born. I mean I'd love for Rusty and Ashleigh to be there on the day too, if they can. Even my parents, if they ever forgive me for not coming home. But I don't want anyone there when she's actually born except for you".
It would probably be chaotic, and stressful and maybe even too much for most 23 year old guys but I hoped it wouldn't be too much for him.
"That sounds good to me", He smiles softly. "Thanks for letting me. I know with the circumstances some people would think it might be awkward but… I really want to be there the second she's born. And I like the idea of being there for you too".
"Thanks Cap", I say, hoping I'm not blushing. "Just one rule, you can only sit near me from the waist up".
"Oh right, because that would be awkward", Cappie nods with a laugh. "And probably traumatic for me".
"That and we're… not together like that so…", I shrug. "It would be weird, right?"
"I don't know Case, I did just touch your panties today", Cappie jokes with a smirk. "I'm pretty sure that falls into my definition of at least first base".
I just roll my eyes at him but can't help the way I smile at his jokes.
"Well let's stay at that base for now", I say to him. "Since the other bases got us in trouble".
"Right", Cappie nods.
I want to tell him that I'm not shutting him down. That we're just joking around like we always do. That I'm not closing the door on us. Ever. And especially not now that he's been so sweet to me the past month.
I want to tell him that there's a chance we could get to further bases. But I don't.
"Well it looks like we figured out the birth plan. You're my number one birth partner, second is Rusty, third is Ashleigh. And under 'only send in if I'm dying' I'll put my mom and dad", I joke.
"They're still mad?", Cappie looks at me, guilt on his face I think.
"Yeah… I don't know. They just think I'm in over my head. To be fair they're probably right…. I can't decide whether to call them once I go into labour and have them fly out for the birth or not. Depending on how fast she comes… I don't know. It's just up in the air since I have no idea when she's gonna come", I sigh. "But I still have lots of time I guess. Do you want your parents to be at the birth?"
I didn't even think about his parents. Stupid me.
"Well, they took the news not too bad to be honest but… I don't know I think I'll call them when it happens, maybe they'll come in that week. But I don't think they need to be at the hospital. It might just be too many people there bothering you", Cappie scoffs slightly. "Besides half the time I can't contact them anyways. Either I have no idea what state they're in or they're doing a rebellion against technology again".
Cappie looks slightly annoyed with that. That he can't talk to them whenever he wants. I look at him sadly then.
Of course that's why he didn't want to leave Kappa Tau. These guys are his family, and in many ways, the only family he's ever known.
"Sounds good", I nod. "I'm sorry you can't talk to them more Cap".
"It's all good, I've got the guys here. I think I'll tell the guys to stay home or wait in the waiting room though… they're a little too rowdy for the maternity ward", Cappie laughs. "Although… it may scare some of them into making sure they always use condoms".
I laugh Cappie's joke.
"They'll probably just come see her when we're out of the hospital and home at the future apartment we settle on", He says and I can't help but notice the way he says 'we' even though most times we referred to it as 'my' apartment since I didn't even really know if Cappie was fully moving in or not.
"Well look at us", I smile at him. "Agreeing on pretty much everything. Who said coparenting was hard?"
"Well you're the one that's going to go through the actual labor thing Case. You're the number one priority. You get the number one say, I'm just along for the ride", he smiles and touches my leg lightly and all I want to do is lean forward, take his face in my hands and kiss him.
This type of thing was never the problem. Cappie was always easy to talk to, always easy going, always wanted to make sure I was okay. That's why even when we have been broken up he's always the safest person on this whole campus to me.
"Well…", I say awkwardly and grab his hand to shake because if I don't I'm just gonna start making out with him. "Looks like we fulfilled our goal of being responsible parents for the day. I have to go back to ZBZ tonight for a pledge night thing Rebecca has planned. I actually have had to stop all her text notifications for today because she was bothering me way too much… but there's only so long I can hold the crazy off".
We both laugh.
"No problem, do what you have to do", Cappie nods. "House mom".
He gives me a look when he says that. It's what he's been calling me lately. Or just mom.
I don't know whether to hug him goodbye or wave so I just awkwardly lean in for a quick second to embrace him before I get up off the edge of his bed.
"Bye Case".
"Bye", I smile.
"Hey Ash… so I'm guessing you must be super busy at your new job right now. I just miss you and wanted to check in…", I say, leaving Ashleigh a voicemail message. "Actually… to be fully truthful I need to talk to you about Cappie. I'm starting to… you know… feel stuff which I know you're gonna want to kill me for… but… well… I don't know, just call me back Ash. I miss you so much here, you have no idea".
I sigh as I hang up, hoping that I'll get to talk to Ash tonight. She's the only one who I can talk to about this. Rusty would be caught in the middle and he's not a girl. And Rebecca… well I'm not spilling anything to Rebecca. Ash was the only one who would understand.
I'm just in my car preparing to go into ZBZ and deal with world war Rebecca.
I lock my car and walk up the driveway, walking into the house.
To my surprise I walk into the kitchen to see Rebecca and Evan kissing with a surrounding counter full of pink and yellow frosted cupcakes.
"Oh… sorry. Didn't mean to intrude", I say awkwardly. "I'll just go wait upstairs".
I'm hoping I can get out of here without a comment from either of them. Rebecca berating me for not answering her texts, and Evan lecturing me on having Cappie's baby, because I'm sure he knew. Both were things I wanted to avoid as long as possible.
"Really Case? You weren't gonna tell me?", Evan says.
I swivel around on my heel, bracing to deal with the awkwardness, knowing there's no way I'm walking out of the room without hearing it from both of them.
"Well… I've had a lot on my mind. But… surprise I'm… pregnant", I say awkwardly.
"Yeah I kind of got that", Evan looks me up and down gesturing to my stomach.
I cross my arms across my chest and give him a glare.
"C'mon Casey, anyone can see", Rebecca says. "Not to mention the minute you told me I texted Evan".
"Well I wouldn't have expected anything different Rebecca", I say with a scoff.
"Look I obviously have no right to lecture you on your life bu-", Evan starts but i interrupt him.
"But I'm getting the sense you're going to anyway", I give him a look, arms still crossed.
"I just thought you wanted to go to law school, make something of yourself! Not end up being tied down by Cappie", Evan says.
"I do still want to go to law school Evan, it's not like I'm ruling it out… I just can't do it this year", I say annoyed.
"I know, I just feel bad for you. Cappie is never going to be able to take care of a baby", Evan shakes his head with what's almost a cruel laugh. "And you're going to be stuck with all of the work and won't be able to make something of yourself like the rest of us".
"I can still make something of myself, I'm only 22. And besides… it's not like this was exactly a choice that I made! Me and Cappie didn't just have a conversation one day and decide to get pregnant, it just happened", I defend myself.
"Are you sure he didn't do it on purpose so that you wouldn't have to be apart?", Evan suggests to my annoyance.
"Jesus Evan", I roll my eyes. "You really think Cappie would purposely want a baby? That's inane! Not to mention the fact that we're not even together. Plus it's my business, not yours".
"Sorry, you're right. I should… try to be happy for you guys. I just care about you and don't want to see you struggle", His look softens now and I feel semi bad for yelling at him. But not bad enough to apologize.
"It's… fine", I sigh. "You're just saying out loud what people are thinking in their heads. Rebecca I'm just gonna go put my stuff down upstairs and then I'll be back down to help you with whatever elaborate plan you have cooked up for me to do tonight".
"Well… I wanted you to get the cupcakes but since you were being a negligent house mother all day, I had Evan pick them up", She gives me a look.
"I wasn't being a negligent mother", I dispute. "Well maybe a bit of a negligent house mother. If you must know, I was at a sonogram appointment this afternoon so I was kind of busy. But I'll do whatever you need me to do now".
"Well when you get a chance you could set up some of the food in the living room, we're having a movie night in", Rebecca says, seeming to soften as well, even giving me an empathetic smile. "Just… whenever you get the chance".
"Movie night in sounds perfect. I'll set it up Rebecca", I say with a smile. "Nice to see you Evan. Please don't go beat up Cappie while I'm upstairs".
I shoot him a look.
I really hoped Evan would drop whatever hatred he had for Cappie because it was seriously getting old. Especially when he was dating Rebecca now and me and him wouldn't ever be anything but friends in a million years. We weren't even good enough friends to have him comment on my life, let alone tell me I'm throwing my life away.
Whatever.
I knew that a lot of people would be thinking that behind my back anyways. That just kind of came with the territory of being pregnant at this age, and it's something I was just going to have to deal with. I knew that as soon as I decided to keep the baby I was in for a lot of judgement. I think it's just hard to hear someone voice your own worries and insecurities about your life out loud.
The whole movie night went smoothly, we watched How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days. It was nice to be able to stay home in my pajamas and not have to go with the girls to a party or something like that, it was much more my speed lately.
I kept checking my phone throughout the movie to see if Ashleigh had called or texted me back. I was starting to get worried. We were usually in pretty constant communication and I hoped she wasn't upset at me for any reason.
When the movie was over of course I was on cleanup duty, vacuuming stray pieces of popcorn and gathering all the cups and plates to bring to the kitchen.
It was pretty late now, at least 11:30 last time I checked and I wanted to get to bed, so I decided to leave most of the dishes for tomorrow.
I go around the main floors turning off the lights when I hear a sort of banging noise coming from our porch.
I immediately start to panic.
Was it some sort of animal? A burglar?
I grab an umbrella from the front closet, holding it as if it's a sword even though it's very unlikely to offer any real use as a weapon.
I walk towards to door, the noises only intensifying.
Suddenly the door opens and I see a figure in the pitch black distance.
A scream escapes my mouth, hoping that maybe the other girls will hear and come help me not get killed or kidnapped or whatever was about to happen.
"Casey?", I hear a voice and i move back to turn on the front hall light to see Ashleigh standing in the doorway.
The door still open, her standing there with her bags, wet from the rain outside.
The mini heart attack that I'd just experienced was fading and relief floods my body, relief and excitement.
"Ash! Oh my god!", a smile immediately makes its way across my face and I hurl myself onto Ash as we hug and jump up and down.
"Oh my gosh!", Ashleigh looks down at me from her tall stance. "I haven't seen you in so long I can't believe how big you are now".
She puts her hand over her mouth in surprise, a smile on her face too.
"I know right!", I laugh. "I can't believe this, you have no idea how much I missed you".
I feel almost as though I'm going to cry.
"Aw me too Case, so much!"
"What's going on, why are you here? I didn't know you were visiting", I ask and Ash closes the door and brings her bags inside. I move to help her with them but she stops me.
"No way Case, you can't be lifting my bags while you're carrying my goddaughter", She grins. "I've got them. And… well I just missed everyone so much, I took some time off work".
She shrugs as though it's no big deal.
"Well the girls are asleep, although I probably woke some of them up screaming", I laugh.
I turn around to see some of the girls standing in the hallway and on the stairs.
"Is everything okay?", I hear a voice and look up to see Betsy.
"Some of us are trying to get our beauty sleep, god Casey!", Laura turns, annoyed, going back to her room.
"I'm sorry guys, but Ash is back! Look!", I say, jumping up and down.
"Oh my gosh!!", Betsy smiles happily and runs down the stairs, a few other girls following her lead to come greet Ashleigh.
"Where's Rebecca?", I ask.
"Oh I don't expect to see her until tomorrow", Ashleigh says. "That girl sleeps like the dead, with her rain machine on all night she wouldn't hear if we had a full on concert down here".
We all laugh.
"Ash you can sleep in my room tonight", I smile and grab her hand. "I have so much to tell you".