"~The streets have gone to trash.

Pour out one for me (You'd better!)

Burn all the sweets to ash.

Whole lot of bad produce (Shred 'em!)~

Octavia walked along to the beat in her earphones. She had her head down while scrolling through her playlist. While she was tapping her phone, something collided with her leg. She stopped walking and looked down. An all too familiar shade of red in a black coat was rubbing his head.

"Watch where you're f**ing going, you-" The imp paused mid-insult and looked up. "Oh, s**. Via."

Via raised her brow. "No, by all means. Finish that sentence."

"Crap, you've really got your mother's gender." Blitzo took a step back to reduce the strain on his neck.

Octavia sighed and pulled out her earphones. "Yep. Why are you in such a hurry?"

"F**, that's right!" He ran around the owlet. "I'm trying to find my sister!"

Octavia tilted her head as she watched him run out of sight. After he left, she blinked twice.

"Uh… good luck?" She shrugged and continued her walk in silence. After a couple of minutes, she arrived in front of the hospital building. She pocketed her phone as the sliding door opened. She entered a lobby that had a calming pink wallpaper.

A sleepy receptionist opened their eyes one after the other. "Oh, hiya, Princess Octagon."

Octavia deadpanned. "It's Octavia. I'm here to see my mother."

"Oh, of course." A tentacle flipped through a notebook. "Princess Cereza, right?"

"Her name is Stella." Octavia scowled while she scribbled her signature on the visitors' log.

"Okay, she's in the room one turn outside of the E.R. You can't miss her." They smiled with a glazed expression.

"Great, thanks." Octavia walked a few steps up the hall before she muttered, "You f**ing re-eeeally stupid."

Fortunately, the directions were the only thing that hadn't been wrong. Peering through the open doorway, Octavia saw her father sitting in a chair next to the bed. His arm was still held up in the cast in front of himself. He was staring quietly at his wife. She was breathing evenly while she rested her eyes.

Octavia knocked on the outside wall. Both occupants turned their heads slightly and smiled. Via walked in and joined Stolas.

"Hey, Mom," said Octavia.

Stella's eyes looked weary, but there was some light in them. "Hey, Octavia."

A solemn silence held for a while.

Stolas used his good arm to hug his daughter. "It's been almost eighteen years since all three of us were in the same hospital room."

"Daaad," groaned Octavia.

"Ah ha ha ha! Ow." Stella winced. "Hurts to laugh."

"How long until you can come home?" asked Octavia.

Stella sighed. "They estimated two weeks recovery plus one week of physical therapy."

Stolas looked down. "We're awfully lucky that it wasn't more severe."

Octavia clasped her hands and trembled. "You two have a bad habit of being held hostage."

"Sorry." Both parents looked guilty.

'I'm not apologizing,' thought Striker to his host.

Stella sighed, closed her eyes, and leaned her head back against the pillow. The room went quiet once again.

…

I.M.P. had taken an unusual case. The client wanting revenge didn't know the actual identity of their killer. All they had were circumstances and a cause of death. Distracted by his search for his sister, Blitzo had inadvertently given Moxxie the go-ahead to lead the investigation. In a fit of rage, Blitzo had chucked the ring with the crystal as hard as he could at Moxxie's face. The thespian and his wife prepared to infiltrate a summer camp.

"Alright, one more time just to be safe." Moxxie pulled the black cloth covering his chest. "I'm Moxxine, the most popular girl in my school. And you are…"

"Your boyfriend Millerd." Millie flexed in her sweats and beanie. "I like sports and roughing up b**s."

Moxxie glanced around the campground and hummed. "These kids are a little younger than I was expecting. Better drop that last part."

"Got it." Millie still looked enthused.

"Now, we're pretty sure our target is one of the counselors." Moxxie tapped his chin while practicing his girl voice. "We need to-"

"Hey, Mox?" Millie lifted a pair of binoculars. "There's a suspicious man in a trench coat sneaking around over there. I think that's our guy."

Moxxie scoffed. "Millie, we can't just make assumptions based on a cursory glance. We need to carefully comb through the camp and trim down the list of suspects."

Millie leaned forward. "He's carrying drugs, money, and a drill that looks perfect for putting holes into a boat."

Moxxie sweated while he feigned a smile. "That's all circumstantial at best. That's not really definitive."

Millie turned while following her suspected target. "Now, he's sneaking into that boathouse, just like the client was talking about."

"Best laid plans…" Moxxie deflated into his own voice. "Alright, I can still salvage this. But we need to get over there without drawing suspicion." His gaze fell across a volleyball that bounced a few feet away. He pulled himself back into character to ask, "How much of a scene do you think Millerd can create without too much collateral damage?"

Millie looked over as well. "Let's find out." She gave him a quick kiss on the lips. "Good luck."

She ran out of the bush cover and picked up the ball. With barely a word of introduction, she was on the sand and spiked the ball over the net. One of her opponents was smacked into a meme-worthy posture in a crater. The game's coach ran over and checked the damage. He said that was the best spike he had ever seen. He even cried as he said it.

Soon, all of the campers were crowding around "Millerd". They were complimenting his skill, his charm, his perfect tan, and his carefree aura. Surrounded by genuine smiles and fans, Millie couldn't help but be happy and she broke into song.

...

Moxxie dove around bushes and trees, getting closer and closer to the boathouse. When he was sure nobody was nearby outside, he scurried over to the wall next to the only door. He jiggled the handle and confirmed that it was locked. He pulled out a company-issued dagger and sawed it through the latch. Once the door felt loose enough, Moxxie kicked it in.

The suspicious teen wasn't a surprise, nor were the bricks of drugs piled on a flatbed. However, Moxxie was surprised at the thin and tan girl standing next to the target. Likewise, the two occupants of the boathouse opened their eyes at the red troll doll.

"Aw, crumbs. A witness," muttered Moxxie.

"Who the f** are you?" asked the girl.

Moxxie cleared his throat and moved his dagger behind his back. "Oh my gosh! I was just coming down by the dock to get some air. I didn't expect to stumble upon drug traffickers! Whatever is a young camper like me to do?"

The girl deadpanned and pointed. "Yeah, you can cut the bulls**. You're obviously not human either."

"Either?" Moxxie's true voice slipped through. "Wait, you're a demon too?"

With confusion, the teen looked between his partner and the newcomer.

"Why are you here?" asked the girl. "I have an actual job to do!"

"So do I!" Moxxie raised the point of his dagger in the teen's direction. "That guy killed our client. Our client wants to kill him back."

The girl turned in shocked disgust at her partner. "You did what?!"

The teen flinched and stuttered. "He was going to find out about your drugs."

"Satan's ass-crack!" The girl facepalmed, before she looked back at the smaller demon. "You're not killing my supplier."

Moxxie tilted his head. "Hang on. Why did you get a human involved in your drug dealing?"

"Please." The girl rolled her eyes. "Do you know how easy human teenagers are to manipulate?"

"Hey!" The teen looked insulted. "No, I'm not!"

The teen crouched over while putting her finger against her chin. "Jimmy-wimmy, can you please keep loading up these druggy-wuggies for me?"

Jimmy smiled in bliss. "Sure, Barb. Whatever you say." He continued to handle the white blocks.

Moxxie sighed, cracked his neck to either side, and flipped his dagger around. "At the end of the day, it's just business."

Moxxie leaped across the width of the boathouse. Jimmy woke from his trance long enough to stare in horror at his impending doom. But then, a red tail whipped out around Moxxie and flung him back at the side he started. The tail trailed back to Barb, whose human disguise was peeling away. Her own imp form showed, and she was peeved.

The two imps got into a tussle, clawing, scratching, and throwing punches at each other. Jimmy ran over to the ropes to open the front of the boathouse. Moxxie threw his dagger. It impaled the wall, barely missing Jimmy's nose. Barb threw Moxxie into the water. She hopped into the motorboat and started pulling on the cord.

In a swift motion, Moxxie jumped out of the water and grabbed the teen. He knocked Barb out of the boat and lifted the spinning motor up. He pushed the struggling teen's head toward the blades. Barb jumped in from behind and attempted to strangle the little imp.

She tossed Moxxie out of the boat into the wall. Moxxie struggled to his feet and wiped his face. He pulled his dagger out of the spot where it had dug in.

Meanwhile, Millie's impromptu concert turned into a one-man talent show. She was juggling axes, swallowing swords, shredding guitar, and showing off nunchaku. The crowd was eating it up and screaming their favorite Average Joe's name. Some pyrotechnics lit a kid's hair on fire, flash-fried the camp counselor, and set off some fireworks. One of which flew along a dangerously horizontal path.

Barb had managed to start the boat properly while Jimmy steered. Moxxie shuffled through his disguise's garments. He pulled out his gun and ran out the broken door. He spotted the boat and took aim. As he was doing that, a rocket flew by and caught him off guard. He stared in shock as the projectile collided with Jimmy's head and exploded. The rest of the teen's body fell over into the lake.

"Satan dammit!" Barb kicked the motorboat's steering handle.

…

Millie waved at her fans while they continued to cheer for "Millerd." She turned and stopped when she saw Moxxie walking up. He had a few scratch marks, his clothes were torn, and his eye looked like it had off-colored eyeshadow.

"Well, looks like you did it," said Millie.

"No, honey." Moxxie grabbed both of her hands with his. "You did it."

Millie smiled.

Moxxie looked down. "I'm… sorry I was so quick to dismiss your first observations. I was-"

"Just don't do it again, you dummy." Millie held her husband in a bear hug.

M&M kissed each other passionately. Both moaned and giggled. Clothes went flying. It quickly devolved into a private bedroom scene in front of a live, campground audience. The six o'clock headline would read, "Concerned Soccer Moms are Outraged That Their Kids Witnessed Underage Sex at a 'Family-Friendly' Summer Camp. More at 11."

…

As night fell, Millie and Moxxie found a place behind the bushes. They retrieved their work outfits and opened the portal back home. Unbeknownst to either of them, a third set of glowing eyes followed them just before the portal closed. It didn't go unnoticed for long as the third presence practically growled.

"What? You!" Moxxie yelped.

Millie stood in front of him. "Mox, who's this?"

"I think the target called her Barb," said Moxxie.

Suddenly, Barb loosened her jaw and looked around. She had been here before. "Wait, this is…"

A diamond-shaped portal opened and Blitzo hopped through. He looked up at his own meeting room's ceiling. He jumped to his feet and spun around.

"You a**hole!" He yelled at the shrinking portal. "You sent me right back to where I started!"

"Blitz?" Barb asked.

Slowly, Blitzo turned to look at the other occupants in the room. The portal behind him closed completely. His eyes fixated on a face he hadn't seen outside of pictures in ages.

"Uh… mission accomplished, sir," said Moxxie.

"Yeah, yeah. Shut up, Moxxie." Blitzo waved dismissively.

The twins slowly walked toward each other. They reached out a hand… and swiftly slapped the other's face.

"Ow! Where the hell have you been?!" Blitzo and Barbie asked in unison. "Me? What about you?"

"You leave rehab and don't call, text, email, nothing." Blitzo tapped his left palm with his right index finger. "Next thing I find out, you're right back to working with s**y drugs? Kriste, you're not hooked on H-8 again, are you?"

"F** no!" Barb crossed her arms. "It was just heroine."

"Oh, thank Satan." Blitzo sighed in relief.

"And what the s** have you been doing?" Barb asked. "Sure, the killing job makes sense. But you went and adopted a daughter and started sucking the d** of a Goetian prince? You didn't become a furry, did you?"

"F** no!" Blitzo crossed his arms. "It was a transactional f**ing."

"Sir, who is this?" interrupted Moxxie.

"She's my sister, you dumb f**." Blitzo motioned. "Which begs the question, why didn't you call me before barging into my office building?"

"Your little midgets killed my supplier." Barb whipped her tail against the floor. "Now, I'm out of a job!"

Blitzo lost some of his annoyed steam. "Listen, Barb. You're clean now. Why don't we go grab dinner? We can talk things out and catch up."

Barb groaned.

…

The Amazing Imp Twins stared silently at their plates in the diner. The burgers were covered in grease and the fries were of an indeterminate age. Blitzo poked the food with a spork. Barb sat and couldn't decide between crossing her legs or not. Dishes clattered in the background noise.

"You know," Blitzo finally spoke up. "I was surprised when you called me Blitz."

Barb pulled out the business card from her pocket. "Your boyfriend's wife told me you stopped saying the 'O'."

Blitzo muttered, "That horny, snitching bird."

Barb put the card away. "I was shocked to meet your daughter. I thought you swore you'd never have kids."

Blitzo picked up a soggy fry. "The center was going to off her after her last year. It didn't seem right to just leave after hearing that. She needed someone to call a family."

Barb stared wide-eyed. "Holy s**. I didn't know you could do serious."

"It can f**ing happen!" he retorted.