Happy Sunday! Happy Thanksgiving to all of my Canadian readers, I am posting this while my turkey is in the oven and other good things are cooking!
Here is a new chapter, and guess what?! I have a beta reader now! My wonderful cousin has agreed to edit all the new chapters, I'll give out her username as soon as she gets one. I warned her that I'm already ten chapters deep.
So here you go don't forget to comment they legit make me write faster!
Pandora's life seemed to have boiled down to waking up and falling back asleep. Nothing in between those two moments ever seemed to stick in her memory. This morning, however, was different. For the first time since she had been saved, she awoke to sunlight streaking on the floor of her room.
Blinking rapidly, she turned her head to the window as she tried to listen to the sound floating in. She waited, letting the sounds wash over her before she fully processed them. She noticed immediately that she heard people, living people. Doors somewhere were being opened then closed. Even the sound of a car was audible. Laughter floated towards her making her stiffen. Pandora rolled her body over to face the window, allowing the rays of sunlight to shine on her face. Her body remained like that for some time as she toyed with the idea of getting up and actually looking out the window.
Finally, she decided against it. She wasn't ready to see what was out there as she had a hard enough time simply dealing with what was in this room. She instead decided that another shower would be nice. Before she arrived at Alexandria, she had long since given up the hope of having a shower, now here she was having a second one. It seemed greedy now that she thought about it. For a moment she stood with her fingers wrapped around the door knob. Was it selfish to want another moment in the warm water? No, she decided she put up with enough so she deserved this.
Since she was alone in her room, this time, Pandora decided to explore the bathroom. For the first time, she turned to look at herself in the mirror. The shock of her own reflection caused her to take a step backwards. The woman that greeted her was not the same one she remembered seeing the last time she looked into a mirror. Her hands crept up to her neck and the scratch marks that were there. Her skin was dull. Old, fading bruises covered the caramel coloured skin of her face. Her neck was covered in long, angry, red scratches. The moment when she caused them flashed in her mind but she immediately pushed the thought away. Her fingers shaking, she ran them through the tangled waves of her hair; the ends were frayed and broken. She then rested her hands around her neck again in an attempt to hide the angry marks she had created. Her eyes were wide and expressed the panic she felt, even now that she was inside a house with people who had been taking care of her.
"My name is Pandora, I was found by Daryl and Aaron, and I am safe in Alexandria." She said to herself as she turned away from the mirror, moisture collecting in her eyes. Blinking, she redirected her attention to exploring the drawers and their contents.
One drawer was stuffed with clothes that appeared to be new, all around her size. Any type of clothing that she might need was in the drawer: jeans, tights, shirts, etc. Another drawer held personal care items like soap, toothpaste, deodorant, and razors. As she picked up a razor, she smiled and a laugh bubbled up from inside her. Who ever thought that she would be able to shave her legs while the world was ending outside? With the razor in her hands, Pandora turned to the shower.
When she was finished, she felt brand new again, almost. Her legs were shaved, her hair was washed and she even put some product through it. The long sleeve shirt she had picked out was soft and comfortable, nothing too tight as she didn't want it to rub her skin too much. The black tights clung to her skin and she had thick grey socks pulled up to her ankles to keep her toes warm.
Turning, she stepped out of the bathroom and the door clicked close softly beside her. The room was still empty, a sigh escaped her. How long had she been alone? Every time she had opened her eyes she remembered someone being there.
The sounds from outside the window were still coming into the room and before she knew it, her feet were carrying her towards it. She tugged the blinds open, exposing the entire window. The sight below her caused her to stumble back, fingers fluttering to her neck. There was a neighbourhood, with sidewalks, homes, and gates around front lawns. Wide-eyed, she leaned forward and started watching people walk back and forth on the sidewalk in front of whatever building she was in.
The door opened behind her and she whirled around, meeting the eyes of Daryl.
"What is this place?" She breathed hands still at her neck.
He watched her as he stepped inside the room, setting a plate he was holding on the table beside her bed.
"This is Alexandria," Daryl muttered sitting down in the chair beside the bed. He moved slowly she noted that every movement seemed calculated.
Pandora was already turning back to the window then, one hand pressing the glass. Someone was walking down the street with a baby stroller while a couple was casually walking down the street with automatic weapons on their backs.
"I must be dreaming then," She muttered. Her fingers tapped the glass lightly and the red haired man with the gun on his back stopped and turned to look at the source of the sound. His face looked hard and his mouth was surrounded by a red moustache and beard. A squeak escaped her as she stumbled back, hand flying out to close the curtains.
Daryl came up behind her quickly catching her arms as she stumbled. "I'm sorry," She whispered making no move to move out of his grip as it was warm and grounding. "Someone saw me." It seemed so silly when she was saying it out loud. Of course, someone saw her; she was standing at a window for god's sake.
"S'alright, come and eat something." He said as he stepped back, gesturing to the plate he had brought. She watched him lower himself in a chair before she moved to sit on the bed taking the plate. There was complete silence as she ate. Her gaze flickered up to look at Daryl from time to time, he was always watching her. It wasn't until she was finished, however, that she spoke to him.
"I don't think I said thank you." She whispered, drawing her knees up to her chest and resting her chin on top. She watched him, waiting for a response but he just held her gaze. "So Thank you." She tried again.
"Couldn't just leave ya there." He finally mumbled, suddenly interested in his hands. She titled her head and continued peering at him. He certainly could have just left her there, especially after all the trouble she had caused. She wondered if now he was thinking he would have rather left her. "Wouldn't have been right." He added as if he was reading her mind. She suspected that her thoughts must have shown on her face as emotional control was not something she was very skilled at these days.
"Ah saw someone else ,before we found ya there." Daryl was hunched over now, peering at her through the strands of his long hair.
Pandora knew exactly who he meant: Madison. She had blonde hair, blue eyes, and a thin build. She always cried, never fought back, just always cried. The day she stopped crying was the day they left her there, just like they were going to leave her there.
Pandora's chest tightened, hands flying to her neck, fingers fluttering over the hollows of her collar bones. Stop. She thought as a scream almost burst out of her. The thin hold she had on the world in front of her started slipping away. A voice in her mind started to whisper the words the doctor had taught her. Shutting her eyes, she repeated them out loud in a breathy whisper.
"My name is Pandora, I was found by Daryl and Aaron, and I am safe in Alexandria. My name is Pandora, I was found by Daryl and Aaron, and I am safe in Alexandria."
"Ya that's it," Daryl was on her bed now, the mattress dipping under his weight.
The mattress reminded her that she was on a bed, in a room, in a house, and behind walls. "My name is Pandora, I was found by Daryl and Aaron and I am safe in Alexandria." The words were coming out easier now and her breathing was slowing down.
"Look at me," Daryl's said in a stern voice. Pandora blinked, then slowly opened her eyes. She saw nothing but calm in the blue eyes that watched her.
"Breathe like me, ready?" Daryl asked. She nodded, watching him and reaching her shaking hands out for him. His grip was warm and solid, again acting as an anchor, keeping her here in the present. Watching Daryl, she matched his breathing. Slow and steady, in and out. Over and over again until she had stopped shaking and the world was back in focus.
How long they sat like that, Daryl sitting in front of her with their hands locked together, she wasn't sure. He held her just as tightly as she held him, and it was comforting to feel that pressure.
Daryl released one of his hands, turning away from her. The panic spiked again but only for a moment as she realized that he was reaching for a bottle of water to give to her.
"Drink." He said, letting go of both her hands to open the cap of the bottle. Taking it, she brought it to her lips and took a long deep drink, the water put out the fire in the throat. The bottle was empty when she put it down on the nightstand, leaning over Daryl to do so.
He opened his mouth to speak, the events before her panic attack were looming in the air around them, but she stopped him. Holding her hand up to silence him, she instead laid her hand over his again.
"I want to go outside." Her voice was tight but it held a conviction she didn't know she felt before now. The room was too small, the air too stale. It was too much for her as too many things had happened here and she needed to get out.
Daryl watched her with worry flickering in his eyes. After a moment of hesitation, he stood up, offering her his hand to help her up. She took it, allowing him to pull her up from the bed. When he moved to drop his hand she held it tighter. She looked at him, silently pleading for him to not let go.
He nodded as if he understood and started leading her to the door, but when the sounds from the rest of the house floated towards her, the courage she had felt vanished. Oh god, she thought I can't do this. Looking at Daryl, she noticed that he loomed about a foot over her, forcing him to look down at her.
"Pandora?" Daryl's voice was low, trying to not to draw attention to them. She blinked; she was standing at the end of the hall now, a set of wooden steps in front of her. Her fingers tightened around his, where did that chunk of time just go? Glancing backwards, she noticed the door to her room was still open at the end of the hallway. They had walked so far without her even noticing, she swore that a moment ago she was standing at her open door.
"Ya ready?" He asked and she shook her head trying to clear it. Letting go of his hand she made her way down the steps, one at a time. That was how she did everything now, just one step at a time.
When she reached the bottom of the steps the smell of disinfectants hit her full in the face. She was standing in a small makeshift hospital it seemed. Behind her rows of beds separated by curtains hanging from the ceiling, it all seemed so odd out of place in a home. Not a home, she reminded herself this was their hospital.
The sound of a conversation floated towards her. The doctor's voices she knew, another woman and a man. Pandora tensed spinning on her heel to go back to the steps, instead, she slammed into Daryl's chest his hands holding the tops of her arms.
"Ya alright?" He asked quietly. She only nodded trying to get herself together. She couldn't spend the rest of her life in that one room. "Come on then, this way." She followed his hand gesturing towards the front door across the room from them. A sharp intake a breath and she was moving towards the door again.
She passed the doctor with another woman sitting up on her table. Denise beamed when she saw her, the conversation dying as she walked past.
"Hi," The women on the bed smiled at her. Pandora only stared unable to make her brain form words.
"Hello," The man beside her said nodding at her silence. "Select mutism is common with PTSD we understand completely."
She winced casting a glance at Daryl behind her he placed a warm hand on her back and lead her outside. This man must be some kind of mind reader she thought as he opened the door. Cold air rushed into her face causing her to gasp. Without realising it she was moving to the end of the porch leaning over the railing the cool metal on the skin of her forearms.
"This feels so normal." She whispered her eyes darting around the street. People passed her some glancing up others too busy to notice her. The air was crisp, not cold but enough to make you more aware, wake you up. It did that for her brought the world into a sharp focus.
Beside her, Daryl was leaning on the poll a cigarette between his lips. She took the moment of clarity to really look at him now. He was about a foot taller then she was small muscles frame, dirty light brown hair hanging in front of his eyes. The clear blue eyes that seemed imprinted in her memories, a light in her panic.
Her gaze shifted again to the people the homes around her. The silence was comforting; He didn't seem like a big talker which suited her just fine. This seemed like somewhere she would live or would have lived before the world went to shit.
Turning she spotted a chair behind her big and plush. With a content sigh, she lowered herself into it. She wasn't sure how long she sat there, watching listening but after some time a heavy blanket was placed over her shoulders a mug of hot tea pressed into her hands.
Turning Daryl was beside her holding a mug as well women beside him, older with short grey hair. Pandora flinched fingers gripping the mug tightly. She hadn't even noticed her come up to them, without meeting her eyes she turned her head to the side hiding the unease.
"This is the first time she's been out of that damned room." Daryl was saying around the cigarette in this mouth. A new one she noted she had been here for a while the sun was already setting in the sky.
"It takes time you know the-"
"Ah know that," he cut her off "Was just sayin' is all"
The rest of the women's sentence hung unfinished in the air, the trauma. A shiver passed through her, she shut her eyes sipping the warm tea. When she put the mug down on the small table she found the women watching her openly. There was something in her gaze that was unnerving like she was trying to see inside her.
Her eyes cool, critical, at odds with the floral printed sweater and slacks she was wearing. A wolf in sheep's clothing something in her head whispered. Without a word Pandora stood and let herself back inside ignoring the questions from Daryl outside and Denise inside as she made her way back to her room.