I must have slipped down. The next thing I knew after the ringing in my ears faded, I was sitting on my heels, back still pressed against the wall, coughing desperately as I tried to expel the smoke from my lungs.

'Nick?'

The effort alone from speaking made me choke. There was no air in my lungs, the smoke was heavy, and my body was screaming for oxygen to satisfy the demand from my manic heartrate.

I couldn't see him, he was buried somewhere in front of me within the pages and ceiling tiles and broken loops of metal from the shattered structure.

My office.

I had to push back against the wall to help lift myself back onto my feet. 'Nick!'

I shouldn't have tried to speak again, because I was suddenly coughing and gasping at the same time, desperately trying to calm myself, as I stumbled through the wreckage to try and catch some kind of sight of him.

'Anna?'

I almost didn't hear Connor's voice over the sound of my own spluttering but I heard him crash through the shattered doorway behind me, and I turned. I couldn't speak, I couldn't reply because I had nothing left.

'Good god, Anna!' I heard Beckers voice follow. 'Are you alright?'

I nodded though I was sure I had probably never been so close to death. I managed to point a finger down to the ground. 'Nick–'

Connor immediately dropped to the ground, hands pawing through the rubble to unearth him.

Nick groaned, and I hadn't realised how worried I'd been until I'd heard the sound. 'Anna?' he called.

'She's here,' Connor answered for me, instinctively knowing I would be able to say anything myself, 'she's okay.'

I reached out, even if I couldn't use my voice or stop the coughing or gasping, I could at least help Nick up onto his feet. As soon as he was up and in front of me, he grabbed my face in his hands and lowered himself to my level. His eyes met mine. The smoke and severe lack of oxygen had stung them with tears, and he lifted a hand, brushed it softly across my cheek and wiped them away. His hand slipped into my own, he pulled me across the room and out into the hallway. 'She needs air,' he said. 'Now.'

Connor looked back at him in confusion. 'Well, yeah, then let's get out of here,' Connor said.

Nick shook his head. 'Where's Helen?'

'Helen?' Connor repeated. 'I didn't know. She wasn't outside.'

'Then she's still in here. We need that artifact.'

'I'm going with you,' Connor announced.

I interrupted any further questions with another cough, the pain splitting right through my heart and I shook my head. I couldn't take any more of it. Nick nodded. 'Okay. Anna, go, get out of here.' I continued to shake my head. I wasn't going anywhere without him. My grip tightened on his hand. 'Please,' he said. 'You need to go.'

'Let me take you outside, Anna,' Becker said, and Nick looked up to him, held his gaze just for a second before he nodded. Becker gestured back over his shoulder. 'Come on.'

'No,' I managed.

'Anna.' Nick pulled my hand up to his mouth because I was already gasping for breath so he couldn't kiss me, so instead he pressed the kiss to my knuckles. 'Go. I'm right behind you.'

He let go of my hand and my arm fell back to my side. Then he smiled, nodding his head in silent instruction to head back up the corridor and towards the exit, before he and Connor turned, ducking back behind a fallen wall panel, and disappearing from my sight.

Becker swung his gun onto his back, reaching down to wrap an arm around my shoulders to help hold me up, as he turned me around towards the door that would lead out to the exit.

I don't think I would have lasted a second longer with nothing but smoke in my lungs. As Becker half hauled me across the carpark away from the building, my coughing started to cease and instead was replaced by a horrific gasping that sounded almost inhumane.

Becker stopped, lowering me carefully down to the concrete and I sat on my bottom, drawing my knees up to my chest as I gulped in great lungsful of air.

He crouched beside me, put a hand on my back to try and help calm me down.

It didn't work.

Breathing easier made the pain in my chest– the inescapable bad feeling– that much more evident. And the pain was so seriously overwhelming I had to shut my eyes.

'Anna!' I recognised Jensen's voice as he suddenly clattered down beside me on the gravel. 'Are you okay?'

I nodded my head, not wanting to make a fuss, though my nose was crinkled and my fingers shaking from the stress of trying to cope with it.

'I shouldn't have left him,' I croaked. I shouldn't have left him in there with Helen. Fucking Helen. A groan tore out my mouth and I opened my eyes. 'Can you help me up?'

It didn't matter which one of them I was talking to because within seconds they'd both offered a hand and pulled me effortlessly on to my feet.

'What's going on?'

'It was some sort of bomb,' I replied. 'We should… we should prioritize the causalities.'

'Anna, come on, just take a minute, yeah?' Jensen replied, as he put his hands down on my shoulders. 'You don't look like you're okay,' he stressed.

I wasn't technically doing worse than anyone else. There were people standing all around the carpark, scientists and soldiers, all spluttering from smoke inhalation or with various different cuts and scrapes across their bodies.

It was more or less chaos. No one really knew what was happening. Most people were in some degree of either panic or shock. And there were voices shouting orders, trying to compete with a variety of coughs.

'My heart,' I said simply, in a way of explanation.

'Your heart?' Jensen repeated. 'Are you having a heart attack?' he asked in a panic.

'No, no,' I assured him shaking my head, 'it's a sign.'

'What sign?'

'It's a feeling,' I expanded, voice cracking. 'It's…'

Ridiculous– the voice in my head completely for me. Logic. This is so stupid. I tried to force the pain away. This is completely stupid. He's fine–

I heard the gunshot echo. My head snapped around to the entrance of the building.

'What was that?' Jensen's voice sunk through my ears, barely audible as I tuned through the noise to find the silence.

He was in there somewhere. Inside it.

And I'd hear him coming.

I'd hear both of them coming back down the hallway and out the entrance into the carpark.

I'd see their faces any second now.

It felt like I'd been waiting for hours already.

Any second now.

There was so much smoke that I couldn't see. I didn't know who was coming, but the movement made me exhale a breath of relief because they were fine.

If they were finally coming out the building, they were fine.

I put a hand over my heart. Stop it.

And then Connor emerged from the fog.

There was nothing. My brain had nothing in response to what I saw. As Connor stumbled towards me, buckling under the weight in his arms, his eyes locked onto me. I couldn't inhale, though my lips were parted. What?

My gaze fell onto the body.

His body.

Nick.

I tried to breathe in, but it came ragged and uneven, as my eyes widened. Connor crumpled, the weight was too much, and his knees smashed down in the concrete before he fell back.

And I don't know how I found myself there. I was beside him, my legs buckled and I dropped. 'Nick?' I said in confusion, 'hey, Nick?'

He didn't reply.

I heard a sob break past Connor lips and my attention moved momentarily off Nick to my cousin just as a flood of hot tears rolled down his cheeks. 'Connor… What–'

And everything hit me at once. The pain in my heart grew and I hadn't known it was possible to feel so much.

I cracked completely in two, pulled his head from the ground to my lap, and wrapped my arms around him.

No.

No.

This couldn't be happening. This wasn't happening this wasn't real.

I tried to find a rhythm in my breathing but it was pointless. I blinked away the tears in my eyes. I wanted to see him. I needed to see him.

He was there, in front of me. Standing on the bottom steps of the palaeontology department, staring down at me in surprise, with my hand resting over his on the railing.

He wasn't dead.

He couldn't be.

'A…' Connor voice broke through in sob and he reached across to me. I pulled back from him. 'Anna…'

'He's not dead.'

'A… please…'

I looked down at his face. He never looked this peaceful when he was sleeping. There was something deeper about him here, something entirely calm. 'No. No! He's not dead!'

Something wet hit my cheek like hot rain. I whipped up a hand and snatched it off.

What?

My fingers dug into Nick's shoulders hard enough to jolt him right out of unconsciousness but he didn't flinch. I waited for the rise and fall of his chest, the weight of his breath as he exhaled.

It never came.

A noise came out of me. It was an echo of panic, a guttural sort of mewl that cut through my own numbed ears.

He was so beautiful, he was so fucking beautiful with that stupid floppy blonde hair and those freckles that had darkened in the sunshine after summer. Nick.

A movement in front of me made me lift my head, some medic in a uniform started trying to prise my hands from him but I held on tighter. 'Let go. Let me go.'

'Anna.'

'Get off! No!' Hands came down under my arms and started pulling me up as he was pulled away. I tried to pull back. 'No! No! No!' His body was moved towards the back of the waiting ambulance and I tried to fight back to follow after him. 'Nick! Nick…' My voice faltered to a cry, I broke away from whoever was holding onto me to run after his body.

They put him down on the gurney, wheeled him up it the ambulance and I stumbled up the steps behind him. I couldn't breathe. As much as I inhaled over and over nothing got through to me. My knees buckled. I hit the floor of the ambulance and wrapped my hand around the bars beneath the gurney, eyes closing, mouth opening before there came out a noise like a shriek.

The tears rolled down my cheeks and soaked into my shirt.

Someone stopped behind me. I knew it was Connor by the way one arm came up and around me to pull me back into his chest. He'd stopped crying, retreating deep into himself to the terrifying sort of silence. He said nothing but clung on, face pressed against my hair while I howled. And I couldn't stop. I leant against gurney, just wanting to be close.

My body shook from the sobs until I was hollow.