The Road Home

This time she woke gasping, hands flying out in front of her. Struggling to calm her breathing, her eyes closed again. It felt like a marching band was marching around in her brain.

"Fuck." She mumbled, tongue thick in her mouth. She tried to push herself into a sitting position but a weight pressed down on her.

"Hey ya you need take it real slow." Daryl's voice was slow beside her, weary even. Opening her eyes again, she found herself laying half in his lap. She blinked again, eyes focusing on the ceiling above her. She was in a car, maybe a truck, panic rose in her chest when she couldn't quite figure out where she was.

"Come on up," Daryl said, his hands were on her shoulders now gently sitting her up. The world tilted around her, eyes shutting again she counted to ten before trying to open them.

"Where are we?" she questioned, shifting her gaze around what she thought was a car. It wasn't a car, however, but she realized now that they were too high up.

"Ah found a truck, a fuel truck like they used to burn the walkers with. Brought ya here till ya woke up." His hand was on her face then, moving the hair from her eyes to check her pupils.

She stared back at him imagining what it must have been like to be alone and trying to keep her safe. Guilt filled her then and tears filled her eyes, the pounding in her head made everything worse. "I'm sorry." She choked on the words, hands fluttering to her mouth.

"Look at me." She did, eyes traveling up to his face. "None of this is your fault. Look I'm gonna get us back now, we find Sasha and Abraham and we all go home ok."

Pandora nodded slowly, leaning her head back on the seat. She saw him look at her from the corner of his eye before he turned and started the truck. Shifting over, she checked the locks on the door. Her anxiety made her worry this would be taken from them too. She clicked the lock down, once, twice, three times. Three seemed like enough three seemed like it was locked for sure.

Once on the passenger side again she tried to lean her head against the cool glass. Hot tendrils of pain licked up the back of her neck, making her eyes water. The moment her head touched the glass though every bump they went over caused her head to bounce painfully against it.

"Come'er" Daryl finally said jerking his head. She sighed and slid next to him again. This time she rested her head on his shoulder, it was warm and steady making it much better than the window.

"Do you ever regret bringing me to Alexandria?" she asked suddenly. This whole trip had been a mess really. Part of her knew that if she was someone else it would have been different. If she had been Carol or Michonne it would have been different, they would have actually been a help, not a hindrance.

A scowl appeared on his face when he looked down at her. "Why'd you ask that?"

His tone was sharper than she expected. Still, she laughed bitterly, maybe the head trauma was finally catching up with her.

"Oh please, Daryl I'm a fucking mess."

"We all are."

That statement made her pause for a moment to consider. Searching through her memories she found the truth in his words. She could recall seeing the gleam of madness in Rick's eyes sometimes. Seen Daryl woken up from his own nightmare and witnessed Abraham's ticks and paranoia.

"I guess," She answered slowly. "You all just seem so together." Her gaze turned to watch out the window, they were driving into the town they had been coming through before. She realized she didn't ask how he was going to find them, it never occurred to her before.

He scoffed, "We had time. Bad shit happened, we dealt with it, there was a break. You didn't get a break."

The pounding that seemed to rattle her brain now was a living testament to his statement. She pressed her face harder into his shoulder, unable to answer. The smooth ride in the truck lulled her back into the darkness and sleep claimed her again. It was different this time, though; her sleep was deeper, so deep that not even the nightmares could find her.

"Pandora, look." Some time later his voice found her, opening her eyes she rubbed away the sleep. Mind still slightly foggy, she turned to follow his finger. Scratched into a metal door was the word Dixon. If she still wasn't so tired she may have cried with relief.

He stopped the truck putting it into park, after a few horrible moments the door opened. Pandora was out of her seat and flying into Abraham's arms before she could think about it. The ground pitched and her empty stomach heaved with the sudden movement, but he caught her nonetheless. Strong arms wrapped her into a tight hug as she sobbed helplessly against him.

"Come on kid," he said patting her head lightly "Let's go home."

They were squeezed in a little tight once Sasha and Abraham were inside, but it didn't matter. The warmth of being pressed against the two of them quickly lulled her back to sleep. A few times she broke through the fog so their conversation floated into her mind.

"Held a gun to our head."

"We went back for you."

"Concussion I think."

The next time she woke, it was because someone was shaking her gently. When she opened her eyes, Abraham's hard face greeted her.

"Look, alive kid, we got company." Blinking, she lifted her head from his shoulder and struggled to clear the hair from her eyes. It felt heavy with oil and dirt; she winced thinking about how hard she was going to have to wash it to get it clean again. While her mind wandered she almost forgot the reason she was waking up until she felt Abraham shift beside her.

Men stood in the road before them, all on motorcycles and all holding guns. Dark eyes darted around her, they all only had one gun each, she didn't even have one anymore. Daryl stopped the truck, gaze flicking to Abraham.

"Why don't you come on out, join us in the road?" The man in the front was speaking to them, leaning casually on the side of his bike.

Slowly, everyone inside the truck moved to get out. Fear pounded through her veins, and her body refused to cooperate, staying glued to the seat.

"Come on now I meant everyone. Even you pretty lady." Colour drained from her face when she realized he was speaking to her. Daryl tugged at her hand pulling her out gently, she stood beside him feeling exposed. Her brain worked hard to make her body stand still and keep her face as calm as everyone else looked.

"That's great. It's going well right out of the gate. Now, step two, hand over your weapons."

"Why should we?" Daryl's answering snarl vibrated through her since she was standing so close to him.

"Well, they're not yours." The man answered as if they were stupid.

"Whose are they?" Sasha's voice now. Her mind was doing that thing again, the thing where it shut itself down as protection. She tried to warn Daryl, her hands reached for his squeezing tightly but he didn't move, not even to look at her.

"Your property now belongs to Negan. And if you can get your hands on a tanker, your people our person wants to know. So let's get those sidearms, shall we? Right now."

Daryl was reaching behind him to get the gun he had. "Thank you." The man's cold glance turned to her then, holding his hand out. She didn't move as she was unable to process what it was he wanted from her.

"She don't got one." Daryl snarled taking a half step towards her.

"Now, now do you think I'd really believe that?" A hand flew out for her, grabbing her wrist and pulling her forward. Pandora screamed as his other hand ran over her body quickly. In a flash she was back with the wolves in a darkened forest, hands bound. The sound of his laughing tuned her into his words. "Hm guess you were right, I wouldn't give her a gun either, little unstable this one."

Daryl was in front of her then blocking them from her view, the wings on his vest swam in her tear-filled vision. The world didn't come back into focus until she realized Daryl wasn't in front of her anymore. She looked around and realizes he's being shoved into the back of the truck, she turns trying to follow when a voice stops her.

"Not you Princess, you stay right here with us. Why don't you go join your friends can't have you passing out on us?"

Her feet don't move, though, he said a lot of things but she didn't understand any of them. Abraham comes to get her though putting a hand around her arm and pulling her to stand beside him. He says something she doesn't catch but then the man is speaking again.

"You see, usually we introduce ourselves by just popping one of you right off the bat. But you seem like reasonable people. I mean, you're sportin' dress blues, for Christ's sake. And, like I said, we're gonna drive you back to where you were. I mean, do you know how awkward it is carpooling with someone whose friend or friends you've just killed? Oof. But I told you not to ask any questions. And then what does this ginger do? So that's that. I don't want you to get the wrong impression of me."

The hammer click forces her to look at the gun now.

"Might as well be the Princess here, she looks half dead anyway."

Pandora cocked her head to the side watching him with detected curiosity. How many times had she been this close to death, it always seemed too easy to her? Why was everyone so scared of it, one bullet and it was over.

"Wait! Wait."

Sasha says something else, there is more speaking but Pandora doesn't really hear it she just steps forward towards the raised gun. When the man lowers it her heart flutters: disappointment? Anger? Relief? She wasn't sure what it was she felt.

Pandora doesn't hear him decide to put the gun down then pick it back up. The next thing she registers is white hot heat and the feeling of being swept off her feet. Temporarily blinded, her vision was nothing but a sea of white and her ears rang painfully, blocking out the world around her.

She turned to her side feeling the contents of her stomach shift upwards and then she was vomiting onto the road beside her. Colour leeched back into the world then and she could make out the side of the truck. Abraham's face was suddenly looming over her. Her hands flew out, pushing him away, his mouth was moving she would see that but no sound was coming out.

He stepped back and she pushed herself up watching him, unable to understand what he was saying. The ringing in her ears was fading slowly but not enough for her to make out anything. Not knowing what else to do, she held up three fingers and touched her ears.

Abraham nodded slowly and helped her up and back into the cab of the truck. She was between Daryl and Abraham again.

"She couldn't hear me." Abrahams voice now fading back into her hearing.

"She was standing too close to them, walking towards the gun." Sasha now, she turned her head towards the other women while sticking a finger in her ear to try and clear the last of the ringing.

"Ah," She muttered covering her ears. "Now you're all too loud."

Sasha chuckled at that. "You're a mess Pandora gotta get the doctor to check you out back home."

Despite still not being home it was so close she could taste it. Relief washed over her once she was able to hear them again. The rest of the ride was spent in relative silence. She was fine with that; her mind was a mess anyway. She wasn't even sure she could have joined in on a conversation.

Hours passed the sun set in front of them and Pandora fought to stay awake. Abraham checked in on her from time to time. Shaking her and checking her pupils, each time she waved him away unable to meet his eyes.

"Kid?" He finally asked when her head lulled to the side trying to look away from him.

"Abraham I'm fine." She muttered. Her head turned towards the window watching the sky darken.

In front of them, the walls of Alexandria appeared. Excitement fluttered inside her, Daryl rolled down the window it was too quiet. Pandora's head snapped up, turning towards the open window, her hand rested on Daryl's arm lightly.

"Something isn't right." Abraham snarled. The door opened and both he and Sasha stepped out of the truck, guns ready.

Pandora was faster, though; a lifetime of gymnastic training moved her body without her needing to think about it. With one hand she pulled herself to the top of the truck, muscles screamed at the movement but she ignored them.

Being on top of the truck she could stand on the edge of the wall. She could hear the dead before she saw them. Leaning over the edge she saw Maggie on the watch tower. The dead were all around her shaking the frame. Then Glenn was there shouting and drawing the dead away.

"Abraham! Sasha!" Pandora was jumping down then off the top of the wall then landing on her feet on the ground. "Glenn is down there! Help him" Gunfire was heard behind her. They didn't answer, only rushed past her and within seconds there was the sound of gunfire.

Daryl was in the truck still waiting for the gate to open. When she slipped back into the passenger seat he was glaring at her, rage swirling in his gaze.

"The hell you doin'" he snarled at her, hands white on the wheel.

"I had to see!" she answered hissing at him, eye wide and panicked. "The dead are inside the walls, Daryl." The fear tasted all too familiar now, the dull pounding that was in her head seemed to understand now was not the time and stepped out of the for front.

"We gon fix it." He stated, turning his eyes back to the gate.

The sound of Sasha and Abraham shooting down the dead made her smile just a little bit, they would fix it.

When Glenn opened the gate Daryl drove forward, cleared it and it was shut behind him. As soon as he was stopped, she was outside. Dimly, she heard him shouting at her but she ignored it. Her hands gripped the first rung of the laddered on the side of the truck, it slipped slightly slick and wet with the blood now flowing from her wrists. Unthinking and wiped them on her legs and kept climbing upwards.

The dead roamed the streets, some moving towards them, some moving away towards sounds she could faintly hear. Her hands covered her mouth; she was tumbling to the edge of panic now. In that moment she remembered the feeling of burning her skin on the soup and how it had helped with the noise in her brain. With one hand she tightened her grip around the cuts on her wrist wrapped now in blood covered bandages. The pain was like a lightening bolt lighting up the night sky, everything was clearer.

"Abraham!" She hissed once he had helped Maggie and Enid down. "Give me a knife."

He glared at her but didn't move. "Please!" She begged. "I need to be able to protect myself."

Sighing, he handed one over, a big hunting knife. She remembers having one before, where it was now she had no idea. Someone in the cab knocked on the ceiling getting their attention, they were going to start moving. Tucking the knife in her pants she slid back down and into the seat beside Glenn.

They had not really gotten to know each other, but still, she placed a hand on his arm and smiled. "I'm glad you're ok."

He only nodded and looked back at Daryl.

"I really hope you have a plan." She muttered when he started moving. Her fingers rubbed her wrist as she listened to him explain what he was going to do. Her heart hammered in her chest but between the pain and the adrenaline, she didn't have room for anything else.

Sticking her head out the window she pointed ahead, "Right here Daryl, this spot works."

He turned the truck around and parked it, jumping out. She didn't waste time and slipped out after him, shutting the door. Stepping around him she watched him empty the fuel into the lake. The others spread out taking out anything that came too close to Daryl.

Squaring her shoulders, she did the same and started driving her knife into the head of anything that was moving too close to them.

"Bitch nuts!" She heard Abraham scream, her head whipped around to see him barrelling towards her. "Get the hell over here."

She shook her head and moved beside him, she wouldn't stop killing the dead she would just do it close to him so he didn't worry. Daryl came running around the front of the car then grabbing her arm and pulling her with him.

"Come on!" He shouted, "Get in and move it."

Abraham moved first, sliding into the driver's seat, the others filed in after him. Helplessly she looked at Daryl still standing beside her.

"Ahm going on the roof, you comin?" She nodded and before he could change his mind she was grabbing and ladder with once hand and vaulting her body onto the top of the truck. She could have sworn she could hear Abraham cursing from the inside.

"Sit!" He told her once he was beside her. For the first time she did, covering her ears with her hands as she watched him point to the rocket launching at the now fuel filled lake.

In a flash, the whole night was lighting up, flames spread from the lake to the river burning a hot path through the air. The dead turned, drawn by the light and the sound. Below them, everyone was out now weapons raised. Daryl was getting down, knife in his hand. He didn't look back at her either forgetting of letting her make this call for herself.

Something snapped and it was almost like she was outside her body looking down at herself. She was moving before they knew she was moving, knife out taking down as many dead as she could. She felt nothing, no pain, no fear, no panic only a cold rage that grew with every one of the dead she took down. She didn't stop like the others; she kept going, taking down as many as she could.

She fought until her knees gave in and she hit the ground hard. Blood covered her, some her own from wounds that had opened, some from the dead she took down. Someone was there beside her then, lifting her. She couldn't see through the blood and sweat in her eyes.

"You did great kid."

She couldn't answer; everything she had felt before came back ten-fold, pain screaming in her body. She struggled slightly against the hold of whoever had her, but eventually she gave in and went limp.

She must have blacked out because when she came to again she was laying on a hospital bed, Denise's face over hers.

"There you are." She breathed. "Got you all patched up, just rest ok? It's over you're home."

Home, she thought as she drifted away again. She was home