Note: Hey! Almost didn't make it to post this tonight, just got back from seeing Logan. Seriously everyone go watch that movie, it was legit so amazing! Anyway watching the new episode of TWD right now as I type so far so far. Can't wait until I finally catch up with the show, as the pace I'm moving though it wont be any time soon lol! This chapter is a bit of filler bear with me!
"Well" She huffed, head tilting back to stare up at the stars above them "That was quite the adventure."
He scoffed, rolling his eyes, "Damn pain in my ass was what it was."
"Hey."
A man she didn't know stood on the other side of the railing looking at them. A slight stiffness crept into her muscles but she worked to control herself to ease out the tension. She told herself that he lived here, he was from Alexandria so he wasn't a stranger.
"I'll take over watching the door."
"Bout time" Daryl rumbled, annoyed. She wondered if he was annoyed because he hated waiting or because he didn't like keeping her out so late. She hadn't minded the time, it wasn't like she would be sleeping. They had the chance to talk more, catch up on each other's day. He had been going out to look for food and supplies almost every day for the last few weeks. It had left little time for them to spend together, it had also left her trying to fill her days without him.
Turning, she was about to say thank you to the man but Daryl had other ideas. He was already pulling her up and collecting the blanket off the floor where it fell. The inside of her head became jumbled again as she hadn't been given the time to work out her next move before she was being pulled away.
The house they shared was only a short walk from where they held the man, but the entire walk Daryl pulled her along with him. As if he wasn't there she wouldn't make it on her own. It seemed like she blinked and suddenly found herself standing in their kitchen, Daryl rummaging in the fridge.
"Guess someone came by." He muttered, pulling a plate of cookies from the fridge.
"Oh, hey." Moving around him to snatch one off the plate. They were good, sweet, chewy and a little nutty too. "How does Carol do this?" She asks, mouth still full of cookie. He only shakes his head reaching to take one too. In two bites, he's done and reaching for a second.
At first, her relationship with Carol had been rocky at best, but the weeks that she had spent here the other woman had slowly made herself a common presence in Pandora's life. When she made it back from their adventure on the other side of the wall she heard about how Carol had saved their home. Almost by herself, she had killed every wolf that had tried to take this place. That was what had cemented their relationship and ultimately what helped finally pull her out of her depression.
"The plus side of the end of the world," She says reaching into the now open fridge grabbing water for them both. "Is that cookies are dinner." The end of the sentence was punctuated with a wide yawn. She covered her mouth but Daryl had sharp eyes.
"Come on bed, ain't like you get alota sleep, anyway." He muttered.
He moved around the kitchen putting the bottles away and the cookies back in the fridge. It looked so domestic, despite the dirty clothes and crossbow strapped to his back he looked at home. When he finished, he headed to the stairs. He didn't need to look back to check if she was following, she was always following.
Her night-time ritual had been designed by the doc. Hot bath, clean clothes, and a book. When she was in bed with a book, Daryl stood in the door after she had worked through a few pages.
"Me and Rick are going out again tomorrow." His frame leaned against the door, arms crossed over his chest. His face appeared closed off, more so than usual. But he almost looked like he was waiting for something, for her? For what? Should she ask him to stay? If she did, would he?
'I could ask him' she thought 'If I asked, he would stay.' She was sure of that, he had a habit of giving into any of her requests. That was selfish though, keeping him here would only help her but if he went out on a run that would help everyone.
"Ok." The word came out slowly, drawn out carefully. "I'll wait."
Daryl only nodded, turning to disappear down the darkened hall way.
Confused, she set the book down and started pulling blankets over herself as she lowered down into the bed.
Sleep came quickly, and it was mostly peaceful. Sometime in the night the dreams started. She stood in the empty streets of Alexandria. Empty? That wasn't right. It shouldn't be empty. She tried to turn but her movements were slow, like she was moving in water. Everything around her seemed to have a grey tint. There was no sound, even her footsteps made no sound as she wandered down the streets. Stopping, she tried to snap her fingers but again, nothing.
"Pandora!"
It was his voice, she would know it anywhere even with the hint of panic it had that she rarely heard from him. It ripped through the silence making it seem overbearingly loud.
"Daryl!" She called back.
In the middle of the empty street she screamed for him. She ran now, struggling to go faster but she pushed harder. But their house was empty, Rick's house was empty, the medical house was empty. Everywhere she looked was empty.
"Daryl!" She screamed his name until her voice was raw. She ran and ran but at every turn there was nothing, yet Daryl never stopped calling for her.
"Pandora! The gate!"
God damn it. She was running again, this time towards the gate. It wasn't open, of course it wasn't, even in her dreams she wasn't that stupid. But she must be because his voice was coming from beyond that gate she was sure of it. She started opening the gate a few inches to slip through to the other side. She could hear his voice still, so she followed.
"Pandora!"
That scream turned into something different, somehow becoming even louder making the world of Alexandria shatter like glass. Hands were on her then, a scream ripping its way through her chest. When her eyes snapped open, Daryl loomed over her. Instinct kicked in and her hands started flying out to push him away. He was faster though, catching her by the wrists.
"It's me ok!"
"Fuck" she muttered. Turning away, wrist slipping from his grasp to cover her eyes. She felt the wetness then, the trail of tears that must have been flowing while she dreamed. "I'm sorry, shit sorry."
The mattress dipped under his weight, she couldn't see him but she could feel the warmth of his body. Her eyes shut for a moment, the images of the dream flashed behind her eyelids. Her fingers pressed against her eyes until bright lights appeared instead of the images.
"Hey, hey," He pulled her hands away from her eyes. "Nightmare? Yah been screaming my name."
She blinked away the tiny lights in her eyes, pulling herself upright. "I dreamt you went missing, outside the walls."
"Ah ain't though." He whispered, a warm hand settling on her arm. "Yah want to-"
"Stay?" She cut him off, shifting to one side of the bed to make room. He was probably about to ask if she wanted to get up since most of the time she did, unable to get back to sleep after a nightmare. He says nothing else, only slips in under the blankets. The mattress dips down more and she moves just a hair to put a line of space between them before she falls asleep again.
The next time she wakes up it's because Daryl is shaking her again, but the panic in his voice is just as real as it had been in the dream. She comes out of sleep quick, hands reaching out to make sure he was real.
"Get up, Pandora comm'on, that motherfucker got out." He is already getting dressed, pulling his vest on while jamming his foot into boots.
She moves slower, but at least she's moving. There is a pair of tights on the bed already, he must have gotten them out for her. How long had he been trying to wake her up? She slipped the tights on while he tossed a green sweater at her. Pulling it over her head, she pulled the too long sleeves into her palms. The sweater was at least a size too big, but that was how she liked it. Tight material on her upper body made her uncomfortable, it made her more aware of the fact that she had become mostly bones and muscle, no fat to speak of.
She must have been taking too long because he appeared in the door way of her room, full scowl in place.
"Com'on I ain't leaving you here with that asshole out there." He moved then out of the room, heavy steps sounding down the stairs.
In a few seconds, she dressed, belt around her waist and knife slipped inside its case. She ran right behind him down the stairs only to find him already at the front door waiting. The moment he saw her, he was moving again, and again she followed. Down the street this time, to Rick's she realized, as they headed towards the end of the street.
Daryl flung the front door open rushing inside, she followed again until she ran right into his outstretched arm. Eyes travelling upwards to meet with his hard face, finger pressed to his lips for her silence. The arm that stopped her drifted for the gun behind his back, "Stay here." He whispered before heading up the stairs.
The panic is there inside her, thick and hot, it jumbles her thoughts. So much so that she doesn't notice Glenn, Abraham, and Maggie slipping up behind him. What she hears is the clicks of each of their guns, it seems so loud that she has to cover her ears. The body moves on its own sometimes, like now when she finds herself pressed to the side of the stairs out of sight.
She doesn't hear them talking, doesn't hear them descending the stairs. Doesn't see the man being lead to the living room between them. It took Daryl pulling her hands down from her ears to snap her back into the present moment.
"Ya alright?" Worried blue eyes flicking over her face.
"Fine." The word came out strained, clipped and tight at the end. He knew she was lying, but he only nodded.
"Asshole wants to talk." He jerked his head towards the living room.
Her gaze travelled over to where he was, awake and free. He sat at the head of the table, the others fanned out around him, two chairs on either side left empty. For who, she wondered, head tilting to the side in question. That question was answered a moment later when Rick and Michonne came down taking the chairs.
She didn't think, just moved into the dining room to stand just behind the man named Jesus. He glanced behind her and the intensity of his blue eyes startled her. He fit the nickname Jesus she thought in the pounding seconds they locked eyes, with his long straight hair and bread he could indeed be the son of God returned. Then he smiled at her and involuntarily she stepped back, hitting the solid frame of Daryl standing just behind her.
"Ya sure?" His voice low, lips almost right against her ear when he spoke, she only nodded.
Having all the information was better than having no information, or getting an edited second hand version of it. She needed to see the threat, needed to know what they are up against. Others had a habit of sugar coating information for her, jumping over key details in fear of triggering her. She would stay listen to what he had to say, show him she was indeed a member of this community.
Gaze travelling around the room she noticed how everyone tried to look calm. Rick leaning an arm on the table facing Jesus, Carl sitting as his position almost a mirror image of father, Glenn leaning back, Abraham behind him with his arms crossed. What she didn't miss were the guns sitting on the table, one in front of each of them all pointed at Jesus. For the first time since she had been here the full realization of how dangerous they were hit her full in the chest. These people were killers, they would kill not only the dead, but the living, any living who dared to threaten them.
"So, how'd you get out?" Rick asked.
Jesus only shrugged, "One guard can't cover two exits and third floor windows. Knots untie and locks get picked. Entropy comes from order, right?"
"Right." Daryl almost snarls the word at him, she steps closer attempting to offer comfort for his rage.
"I checked out your arsenal. I haven't seen anything like that in a long time. You're well-equipped, but your provisions are low. Very low for the people you have. 54, right?"
The words speared her brain, sending her heart skipping into a panicked beat. He had been sneaking around all night, checking out how they lived and counting their people. Counting their people, had he gone inside the homes or looked in the windows? Reaching out her fingers, she found Daryl and started to grip his hand painfully tight. His gaze flicked to her for a fraction of a second, and it seemed like he understood the panic. His returning grip was just as tight, pulling her even closer to him.
"More than that." Maggie snapped.
"Well, I appreciate the cookie. My compliments to the chef." He turned then, eyes locking with her again for the second time.
Seconds ticked by, but she didn't flinch, eyes glued to him. He smiled, she didn't return it, only gave him an icy stare in return. In her head, she hoped she was fooling him, hoped the cold eyes would mask the slight tremble in her frame and the fact that her hand gripped Daryl's.
"Yeah, she ain't here." Daryl snapped, drawing Jesus' attention away from her.
Pandora sagged when the pressure of his stare was gone.
"Look, we got off to a bad start. But we're on the same side—the living side. You and Rick had every reason to leave me out there but you didn't. I'm from a place like this one. Part of my job is searching out other settlements to trade with. I took your truck because my community needs things, and both of you looked like trouble."
She scoffed, he wasn't wrong, they were trouble.
"I was wrong. You're good people and this is a good place. I think our communities may be able to help each other."
Communities. The word rattled around in her head. A community meant more people, people living together, being safe. Behind walls maybe, it must be behind walls, how else were they going to be safe. Do they have as many people as we do? Maybe they had been together form the start, that still happened sometimes.
The rest of the conversation became lost on her as she tried to work out the idea of more places just like this one. Around her, their lips still moved, but she didn't understand them.
It wasn't until Daryl was in front of her again that she realized the meeting had ended.
"Pandora?"
"Huh?"
Her eyes focused again, the room was empty except for Jesus and Rick leaning over a map and speaking in low tones.
"Let me take you home ok? Before we go" He had his hand on her arm now, about to take her from the room.
"Wait what?"
"Ahm leaving soon, gotta pack the RV."
"I don't understand."
Daryl's eyes flickered over her face realizing that she hadn't heard everything.
"We're going to see this place; the place Jesus came from. Wanna see what it's all about."
"Are you fucking crazy?!" She hissed. Louder than she thought, she guessed, because Jesus and Rick turned to stare at them.
"We gonna be just fine, we gonna go look then come right back. Ah'll be home tomorrow."
She didn't argue, only turned to storm from the room. She could have sworn she heard Jesus say something about women, but she moved too fast to be sure.
Back in the house, she raged, pacing her room in quick, angry strides. What the fuck were they thinking? They were going to follow a man who stole from them, who broke out and snuck around their home at night. Panic and anger flared then, shoving her hand into her mouth, she screamed into it. It helped, the pain from biting down on her hand let her let go of some of her rage.
When she had calmed down enough, her small frame moved with a new sense of purpose. Closet first for the black bag, dresser next for an extra change of clothes, bedside table then for her emergency bottle of anxiety pills and some proteins bars. Once the bag was packed, she headed downstairs. Like fucking hell she would let him go alone. Stupid idea anyway, albeit hers was even stupider. But that didn't matter right now.
Side stepping around the chair at her window, she looked out, making sure to only pull the curtain aside enough for her to see outside. The last thing she needed would be for someone to find her. When the coast was clear, she slipped out the door. Better to go through the backyards as it was the best way to make sure no one saw her. Hopping the fences easily, a small, twisted part of her had to admit it was also kind of fun. As long as she didn't think about the end result, just about the process of getting there she would be fine. Once she got to the house at the end of block voices floated out to her, she had made it to Rick's house.
"Back at the house Ah think, she's pretty pissed." Daryl's voice. She crept between the two houses, leaning around to see the layout of activity in front of her.
"Do you blame her? Look at what happened the last time you said it was safe." Denise now, somewhere from the front of the house.
"Ah know that. Ah asked Carol to go check on her in case she doesn't wanna see me."
She could see Denise standing behind Daryl who appeared to be working on the RV. A sigh escaped her, that would be perfect for hiding. She tuned out the rest of their conversation, only focusing on watching the bodies mulling around the RV. After a few minutes, she had it, the perfect opportunity. Abraham turned to go inside, Maggie and Glenn following behind him. She bolted then, easing the door open and slipping inside. The inside is empty of people for the moment, just some bags and guns. Running for the bathroom she slips inside and shuts the door behind her.
In that moment, hidden behind the closed door of the bathroom the realization of what she had done hit her. She had put herself inside the vehicle they were going to take outside of the walls. Even after everything that had happened, some part of her fucked up brain thought this was a good idea.
"Shit, shit, shit, shit" She whispered, feeling the air getting tighter in her chest. "Count" she told herself. She tried counting each breath as she took it. She could stay in here as long as no one needed the bathroom. She could hide here the whole time and slip back inside her house once they came back. Which would be tomorrow, she remembers Daryl saying that, she could be stuck in here until tomorrow?
"Let's chew up some asphalt!" Abraham's command made her jump.
She tried to fumble with the handle on the door to get out. This had been a stupid idea, she would get out right now. Once she was out of this bathroom, she would leave the RV, explain everything to Daryl and it would be fine. With her new plan, shaking fingers tried to open the handle, once, twice, but nothing happened. The door didn't open, and under her, the RV lurched into motion. A sick feeling grew in the pit of her stomach, panic ran through her. Easing herself down onto the toilet, she tried to breathe through the panic.
There had been no way to know how long she had been trapped when she had finally calmed down enough to try getting out again. This time, the door flew open, slamming into the wall on the other side. When she peeked her head out, all eyes turned to her. Heat curled up her neck, tears blurring her vision.
"Mother dick!" Abraham's voice broke the ticking silence inside. Running a hand over his face, "Might as well come out kid, can't do anything now."
"What's going on?" Rick's voice came from the front of the RV.
"God damn stole away." Abraham muttered, sitting back down in the little chair.
Daryl is in front of her then, both hands on her arms pulling her out of the bathroom.
"What were yah thinking?"