Chapter 20! I feel like this is kind of a mile stone for me. I wrote 20 Chapters, I have never stuck with writing anything this long you. I have a bunch of started works but nothing has become what this had become. I am still having fun writing, and my BETA is still having fun I think! Big thanks to her for putting up with me for this long your the best!
As a side note can I take a moment to talk about how much I love this chapter? I really do love it. I love all the difference sides of Pandora we get to see here, there is a darkness that we haven't really seen before. In this chapter we get some flashes of it, but it will come into play as her story progresses.

Check me out on tumblr too I would love to connect with you

The scene outside the windows quickly turned into tree lined country roads. Pandora sat unmoving, knees drawn up to her chest. She tries to avoid looking out the window while also trying not to glance at Daryl. He was propped up on his elbows with his gaze locked on her hers, unmoving. Trying to find anywhere else to look besides at him or the window was getting uncomfortable. With every passing second of silence, her shoulders sagged a little more as she felt the weight of his gaze. The silence stretched a few more heartbeats before she couldn't stand it anymore.

"I get that this was probably the stupidest thing I've ever done." She whispered, fingers pressed hard to her temples to clear a headache blooming behind her eyes.

The pressure didn't last long before she could feel a force pulling her arms down. With a blink, she opened her eyes and found Daryl's crystal blue ones. She blinked again, but he was still there looking down at her. With the pressure of his hands around her wrists she found everything around her becoming sharper.

"I didn't…" The sentence died as her thoughts were unable to come forward. "I couldn't.." Frustrated, she tore her wrists away from him, scrubbing her hands over her face. After a few deep breaths she looked up at him, trying to start again.

"I was scared I guess, after my dream. I was scared that if you went outside those gates that you wouldn't come back. I wanted to see it for myself too, see these other people to make sure they were what Jesus said, just people." The words tumbled out now, rolling off her tongue with a speed she didn't know she had. "I get it, it makes no sense, at the time it made perfect sense and now? Here I am, terrified again."

She needed to catch her breath after she finished her explanation. While she tried to suck more air into her lungs, more was being pushed out of her again. Daryl came close now and put his arms around her to press her into the hard muscle of his chest.

She was shocked into stiffness. He never reached for her, he didn't back away when she reached out for him, but this was different. After the initial shock she melted into him, bones turning to jelly.

"I'm sorry," She muttered, face pressed against him and arms snaking around his waist. He surrounded her, his frame folding around her until she all but disappeared. "I know, I was so fucking stupid."

"Ahm always gonna come back." His voice rumbled from his chest, vibrating through her.

Some rational part of her knew there was no way he could make this promise to her. It didn't matter though, not right now. Not when she was pressed tight against the only thing that felt like safety since this whole thing started. In this moment, his promise was everything.

Behind them, someone cleared their throat. Going stiff for a second she breathed in deep, taking note of his scent before peaking around him.

Rick stood behind them, one hand shoved in the pocket of his jeans.

"Everything all right?"

"Yah." Daryl was letting her go now, body tensing as he put space between them. One hand remained firm on the small of her back acting as a grounding point. How odd they must appear to everyone. Her: not even a full person as she was all skin, bones and jagged edges. A fraction of what she used to be. Then Daryl: strong, silent, and still very closed off despite the time he had spent with the group. She wondered if any of his family ever thought they would see this side of him, a person who cared so deeply.

The thoughts drifted away the moment she remembered Rick standing there.

"I didn't mean to get in the way, I mean I won't get in the way. You won't even notice I'm here if that's ok," She was blabbing again. "I mean I won't leave the RV if you don't want me to. I mean if you don't think it's a good idea for me to leave the RV."

She watched him run a hand over his chin, then he got down on one knee in front of her. For the first time, she didn't flinch or shift away, just sat watching him.

"Alexandria is your place too Pandora, you belong here as much as anyone." His hand left a slight touch on her knee. "You have every right to see this place."

She nodded, locks of hair swimming in her watery gaze. Rick gave her knee another squeeze before leaving them alone again. A few seconds passed against in silence, she tried to rub the wetness from her eyes. It was stupid to be so unsettled by words. Those words coming from Rick carried a weight to them, a weight that settled deep in her bones.

"Looks like we're stopping, wanna get some air?" Daryl was leaning back on the bed again, propped up on his elbows. He must have moved when Rick had spoken to her, she really needed to pay more attention.

Her head turned as she glanced out the window. He was right, everyone was outside now to look around, check nearby cars and stretch their legs. She could do that. Everyone was outside, what could happen in the center of this group?

"Sure." Her voice wasn't as strong as she would have liked it to be, but she still stood and headed towards the door.

When she stood on the road outside the RV, the slamming of the door startled her. Her head jerked around and she caught Daryl's eyes as he stepped out behind her. Right, she was fine. The group stood around her with Glenn and Maggie at the front of the RV speaking in low tones. Abraham puffing on a cigar next to Jesus who was obviously trying to start a conversation.

Pandora stepped away from them, titling her head upward to feel the sun on her face. Despite the cool start to the day, the sun was out and warming everything up . The light eased the darkness behind her eyelids and she smiled despite herself. She was outside the walls, but she felt wonderful. The fear was somewhere there like it always was, but it was under control. She wasn't sure what it was really, the knife at her hip or maybe the lesson from Rosita. Not that it mattered, whatever it was, she would take it.

The surrounding area was new, she had never been here before and the need to know her surroundings ate at her. She headed for the ladder, hand tightening around the rung just above her head. It took little effort for her to pull herself up one handed, she was too light which should alarm her. Another time, she told herself, continuing the climb up to the roof on the RV. Fields stretched the length of her vision, as far as she could see was nothing but fields and the odd house some distance away.

"See anything interesting?"

The force at which her head snapped back made her neck ache. On the ladder stood the man Jesus, he was half way up already, and she hadn't heard him. The shock of seeing him made her stumble backward, catching on some raised bit of the roof.

"Hey," He raised his hands in the air, face becoming alarmed. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"What the fuck." Daryl's deep growl came from the ground. "Get down."

Jesus disappeared from her sight. She pictured Daryl ripping him off the ladder, pitching the other man to the floor. That picture of violence in her head made her stomach turn. She worried about the new man oddly enough. Rushing to the side of the roof, she got down on her knees to peer over the side. Daryl was standing in front of Jesus, finger digging into the other man's chest but their voices were too low for her to hear. Jesus had his hands up like he did when she had seen him.

She was down the ladder in three steps, sliding up beside Daryl to put her hand on his arm. He jerked his head to the side scowling at her.

"It's fine," she wanted to say and it was fine because Jesus didn't know her. She didn't though, only turned to Jesus. Chin lifting, she met his bright blue eyes, "I was looking for your home, maybe you're lying." Wherever this courage came from, she couldn't say, but there she was speaking to a stranger.

"I can't wait to show it to you." The smile never flickered from his face, it become stronger, like a light turning all the way on. It unsettled her, and because of it she turned and headed back inside the RV. Everyone else followed only moments later.

She was sitting near the back of the RV, closer to the bedroom. Daryl was beside her, half turned to gaze out the window. Ahead of them, Abraham and Glenn were leaning towards each other speaking in hushed tones. A yawn slipped through her parted lips but she ignored it and got up instead to peer out the window in the back of the RV. She would not sleep in here to spare everyone the sight of her waking up screaming.

As she watched the trees pass them by, more and more little buildings seemed to spring up. It was with her face pressed to the glass trying to read the writing on the buildings that she felt them slow down. She peeked into the hallway to see everyone watching the front of the RV.

Silently, she slipped up beside Daryl who had moved to the middle of the RV, "What is it?"

"Some of Jesus' people, I think." He muttered.

Moving back to the window, she eyes the wreck now beside them. A car is turned on its side as the dead had caught under the wheels.

"That's sad."

"What?"

She turned to examine Daryl who was eyeing her with the oddest expression on his face.

Her own expression reflected her confusion. "Look at the wreck, they are dead so we should keep moving."

Clearly no one heard her or no one thought she was right because the door was opening and Jesus was the first outside. Despite the voice in her head screaming at her to lock the door behind them she followed them out.

By the time she stepped outside, Rick was holding a gun to Jesus' head. This seemed to be the only interaction the two had.

"If this is a trick, it won't end well for you." Rick cocked the pistol he held at Jesus' head.

"My people are in trouble. They don't- we don't have a lot of fighters."

He is frantic now, she could see it. The panicked dart of his eyes, his erratic movements. Gaze flickered to the car, it was empty aside from the old walkers. She slunk beside Daryl, a light touch on his arm caused him to look over. He jerked his head to the side for her to follow him.

"I know how this looks I'll play it out. Can I borrow a gun?" Jesus leaned in towards Rick nervously smoothing his jacket.

"No."

Rick's tone was so harsh that even Pandora stiffened, he wasn't even talking to her.

Daryl was leaning over the car, eyes on the ground. Beside her, the dead woman stuck in the tire groaned and tried to reach out for her. She shoved the small knife from her belt in her head, the action was second nature to her.

"Hey! We got tracks here."

She takes a second to notice Daryl had stepped away from her toward the front of the car. He was pointing towards the ground. The group followed his lead, while she trailed a few steps behind. Across the small intersection was a building. Pandora stood behind Maggie and Michonne, eyes wandering to try to figure out what the building was. An office maybe, not that it mattered but it gave her something to do.

The sharp sound of Rick banging on the door turned her attention back to them.

"They gotta be in there." Jesus said with his eyes fixed on Rick.

"We moving in or what?" She glanced at Abraham who had his hand on his gun, pacing. He reminded her of a caged animal, something deadly pacing a cage just waiting for the wrong person to stick their hand inside.

"How do we know this ain't firecrackers in a trash can?" Daryl was pacing in and out of her line of sight, anxiety rolled off him in waves. For a moment she considered offering him some of the Xanax she had tucked in her bag, but decided against it.

"You don't."

"We'll get your people. You're staying here with one of us." Rick faced the group, his eyes scanned over everyone.

She knew she wasn't even an option, so it didn't matter who stayed. It would be her and someone else, no one would trust him alone with just Pandora to keep watch. Her gaze started to wander again to the surrounding buildings. There was a barn down the road, maybe they would look inside after to see what they could take. Daryl was beside her then, interrupting her train of thought.

"Ahm going in, you stay with Maggie ok?" His hand was on her arm, fingers gripping into the soft skin and causing a sharp focus.

"Ya ya I'll stay." She whispered, keeping her voice low. From the corner of her eye she could see Rick tying Jesus' hands behind his back. He was turning to Maggie now.

"You hear me whistle, shoot him."

"I will" Maggie shifts her weight from one foot to the other, raising her gun to point at his back.

Pandora moves towards the door as everyone gets ready. Daryl is holding the door open, he will be the last one in. Her fingers brush his arm as Glenn moves past him.

"Be safe." She tells him, voice pitched low for only him to hear.

"Ain't nothing gonna happen, Ah'll be back." Then the door is closing, and he turns to cast one more glance her way before disappearing down the hallway.

"Come'ere" It's Maggie calling her. Maybe a whole minute past with her standing in front of the door staring. Turning, Maggie jerked her head to the side raising her eyebrows when Pandora didn't move right away. With a glance towards the door one more time, she moved to stand beside Maggie.

"You ok?" Maggie asked her hand lowering the gun only a fraction.

"I'll be fine as soon as they come out." The answer came out quick, with a sharp edge. She recognized it right away in her own voice. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean for it to come out like that." Her hands shook as she ran her fingers through her hair. There was a building panic inside her now and with every heartbeat it grew.

"I know, you're worried about Daryl. I'm worried about Glenn." The other woman shrugged. There is something in her voice that Pandora can't quite put her finger on. Maggie worried about Glenn because she loved him, she worried about Daryl because? Well because she loved him too. That was really what it comes down too, she loved him because of how amazing he was. He had saved her, how could she not love him for that?

"You are all good people for doing this, for helping my people."

Pandora jumped, she had forgotten he was there again. How could one man wearing so much clothes make himself so quiet all the damn time?

"I thought they were all dead." Pandora noted offhandedly, something about him made him easy to talk to. "I would have left."

Jesus only smiled at her though, "Good thing you weren't driving then."

Her eyes narrowed at him, his calmness was grating her nerves. She turned to Maggie who still had her gun trained on Jesus.

"I'm going to go on the roof ok?"

"Ya go keep an eye out. You have a gun?" Maggie was reaching behind her like she already knew the answer, Pandora shook her head anyway. "Here take this one." In the other woman's hand was a small six chamber gun.

Seconds ticked by before she reached out to take it, fingers closing on the handle.

"Thank you."

Then she turned back towards the RV, climbing onto the roof. They should put a chair on the roof for her or something with all the time she seemed to spend up here. A quick scan of the surrounding area showed nothing, but it loosened the tension she had been holding in her shoulders. Turning to the side facing the office building she sunk down to the floor, legs hanging off the side. She turned the gun over and over in her hand watching the sun catch the side of the bright metal.

No one had given her a gun before, maybe it was the Doctor's orders or maybe it was Daryl's idea, she wasn't sure. As dark thoughts curled and took form in her head, it didn't take long for her wonder why. It would take two seconds, three maybe and she would be dead. A bullet to the side of her head would end everything. It was a sick thought and somewhere in her head she knew it. But still, there was a rush of relief that came with the thought of being dead. No more panic, nightmares, anxiety, flashbacks. Popping open the chamber she counted the bullets inside, six, the chamber was full. Would Daryl miss her? Maybe, but he would forget soon. There were too many other things that would clamor for his attention.

Snapping the chamber shut, she rested it on her legs. It was always an option. She could end it all whenever she wanted. Today though, today was a good day despite everything that had happened, she was under control.

The wait was nothing to her, every day for the last several days she had been waiting for him. This was shorter. There was a flicker of movement on the glass. Shoving the gun in her waist band she stood, shielding her eyes to see, it was them it had to be them. Not bothering with the ladder, she jumped from the roof, small sparks of pain shot through her foot but it didn't stop her from running.

Rick and Michonne came out first, two others she didn't know followed behind. She ignored them as she darted past. Daryl was behind the strangers, she flew at him. He must have expected something like that because his feet were planted and his frame unmoving even with the force of her weight.

"See? Easy." His voice was low in her ear and she shivered, pressing herself tighter to him. Long moments ticked by in silence until he let her go, jerking his head toward the RV and everyone else already moving in that direction. "Come'on time to hit the road."

When they reached the door, everyone was already inside. Stepping up the stairs, she stood frozen in the doorway. The people they had found were inside too, some in the front and some in the back.

"Pandora? Come on kid." Abraham was calling her inside, they were the last ones to get on. But her brain froze, stuck on the faces of the strangers in this closed space with her.

"Ya got this, Ah got you." Daryl's voice behind her jump-started her into motion. Before she knew it, she was all the way in the back of the RV, hidden from the eyes of those she didn't know.

From where she stood at the window, she watched the world pass by. Her hands were tight in fists at her sides. Strangers were still a sore spot for her these days. Take people she doesn't know plus a small enclosed space and you have the recipe for a Pandora style panic-attack.

Beside her, Daryl kept stealing glances in her direction. "What number?" He kept his voice low, but she was sure she saw the one who was a doctor glance at her.

"Somewhere between a three and freaking the fuck out." She tried to laugh, but it sounded more like a panicked hiccup. Her hand shot over her mouth to stifle the sound.

"Yah all right, we'll be outta here soon. Dump these people back where they came from." He was moving closer now, the solid feeling of him helping her keep a hold on the fragile calmness she had left. Shifting, she moved so she was between him and the window, he didn't move away and let her slip in the space there.

They stood not talking for awhile, just watching. When they stopped moving the jolt of it caught her off guard. Daryl was faster than she was though, catching her arm and keeping her upright and balanced.

From the front of the RV the conversation floated towards them.

"Come'on seems like we're here."

They waited until everyone else had left before they made their way outside to join them. When she pushed the door open, she stopped, furrowing her brows peering at the ground. The ground in front of her was a sea of wet, brown mud.

"These are my good boots." She muttered under her breath. She could have sworn she heard Daryl chuckle behind her. Still, she didn't move.

"Come on kid, don't got all day." Abraham was holding out his arms, lip upturned in a small smile.

Despite the situation she currently found herself in, she grinned at him and jumped right at him. He caught her with no problems, shifting her so she was on his back instead. Unable to stop herself, she laughed trying to picture what they looked like to everyone else. The new people all turned to watch them, not even trying to hide their stares.

"These are my good boots." She announced as they passed them. Under her, Abraham laughed. He took wide steps to clear the muddy ground before he set her down on the grass.

In front of her was a huge wall made of logs, maybe, she would need to be closer to see. Still, it was impressive as it was so high, it reminded her of home.

"That's us. That's the Hilltop."

She followed behind them now, everyone putting guns back in belts or over their shoulders. more relaxed now. Pandora followed beside Daryl, silence stretching over the group. They left the RV then meeting up with a road, but as she walked for longer the path under her turned to mud.

"Great," she muttered looking down at her now mud covered boots. "This place better be amazing cause it's ruining my boots." Daryl only shook his head looking amused.

They didn't walk for long and soon she was staring up at what must be their gate. A stream of sunlight cut through the clouds then right into her eyes, raising her hand over her face she tried to make out the two figures on top of the gate.

"Stop right there!" The voice came from somewhere above them, the gate maybe. She couldn't see as the sun filled her gaze with nothing but blinding light. Around her, she could hear the sounds of guns cocking and feet moving.

"You gonna make us?" Daryl asked, tone clipped with anger.

"Jesus what the hell is this?"

A man spoke from the top of the gate. She shifted, taking the small gun Maggie had given her and following suit by pointing the barrel at the men she saw standing with the spears. Around the handle, her hands shook as she tried to make sure it was aimed the right way. In front of them, Jesus held his hands up, calm compared to the fighting stance of the rest of her group.

Her group, she had thought it so casually now. When had that happened? When did they become her group? Was it before, when she had fought alongside them for the home they all so desperately needed, or some time before that? She wasn't sure, but when she turned the word over in her brain, it felt right.

The train of thought she had just followed was all consuming, so much so that it made her miss whatever Jesus had said. He was turning now, speaking to them, but he was looking at her.

"Sorry about these guys." He tried to smile, but it faltered. His gaze shifted away then moving between Rick and Daryl. "they get antsy standing up there all day doing nothing."

"They give up their weapons, then we'll open the gates."

Panicked, she looked at Daryl. There was way no they would give up their weapons. She wouldn't and if it meant that she was staying outside, then she was staying outside. She would walk back to the RV and wait there, no one was taking her knife or her newly acquired gun.

"Why don't ya come down here and get'em?" His reply answered her unspoken question, a tiny bit her tension released from her shoulders.

Someone else was stepping forward and getting too close so she side stepped away, putting herself to Daryl's left this time. Glancing over, she recognized the man who was a doctor, she hadn't taken the time to learn his name.

"Gentlemen look, we vouch for these people alright? They saved us out there."

Fear crept up her back then, sharp claws digging into her spine. Shifting closer to Daryl, she tried to breathe through it, but it was choking. This would end badly, she knew it. They should go, just turn around and leave. They didn't need these new people.

"Daryl, let's go." The whisper was meant only for him but Jesus turned his head in her direction and she felt herself shrinking under his gaze.

"Lower the spears." His voice held a sharper edge now.

Rick was stepping up to Jesus, "Look I'm not taking any chances, tell your guy Gregory to come out here."

'No,' she wanted to scream. 'We turn around and we go back forget about this place and these people.'

"Daryl." She whispered again, trying to get his attention but when he didn't turn, she touched his arm.

Turning, he switched to holding the gun with one hand and with his free hand he reached for her, pulling her even closer. "Ah got you." Then he was holding the gun up again, hand gone from her arm.

The hard look in his eyes quelled the fear, but only a fraction, causing the demon she pictures to skitter down her spine.

Jesus was talking to Rick now, loud enough for only her group to hear.

"No, don't you see what just happened? I'm letting you keep your guns. Look we ran out of ammo months ago. I like you people, I trust you. Trust us."

A fleeting glance behind Rick and Jesus she noticed everyone but herself and Daryl was lowering their weapons. Rather than follow suit, she increased her grip, knuckles turning white with the force of it.

"Open the gates Cal."

For a moment, with her heart hammering in her chest, she thinks they are all about to die. She pictures the gates opening and a flood of armed men and women rushing out to greet them. It doesn't happen though, her group and the new people walk right past her.

"Pandora, come on you can lower the gun now." Daryl was beside her, his hands around her wrist pulling her arms down. "Where did you get that thing anyway?"

Unlocking her joints, she tucked it back into the belt she was wearing, "Maggie gave it to me."

He says nothing else, only turns and follows the group inside with her right behind him.