Denise was in medical like always, but the moment Pandora stepped through the door they continued into a more private room. Denise sat down in the plusher of the two chairs while Pandora lowered herself into the other one. This room felt warmer than the one they had just been in, Pandora found herself uncoiling some of her tight muscles.

"I'm sure everyone heard me lose my shit last." Pandore commented off handedly fingers twisting in her loose waves.

Denise only opened her little notebook and got out her pen, "Why don't you tell me what happened?"

Pandora shifted, tucking her legs under herself and hands curling around themselves in worried motions. "I woke up from a nightmare, only I didn't know I was awake so I thought Daryl…" She stopped, letting the end of the sentence fall away. "I thought he was them…"

She kept her eyes down though, unable to meet the eyes of the other woman. Her nails bit into the soft flesh of her palms, tiny lightning bolts of pain keeping her grounded. Saying those words out loud were a trigger, in her mind's eye she could see the woods now. She remembered how hard she had fought against him having no idea who he was.

"Pandora? You've been stressed these days, huh?"

Pandora only nodded, tucking the loose bits of hair behind her ears. Stressed didn't begin to describe it really. The two-week run Tara was leaving on had been planned for a while and the anxiety had gone up every day. The trip to Hilltop had been what started her on this slope.

"Pandora things change sometimes, it's a part of life."

Denise's voice stopped the train of thought before she got too deep into it. The other woman was leaning forward, elbows resting on her knees. Pandora wasn't even sure what to say to her, she couldn't explain what she was feeling inside right now. How does someone put that feeling of dread into words. She felt as if she was standing right on the edge of some new discovery some new event and she was terrified. That sounded crazy though, crazier than she usually sounded.

"I just know what's out there" She whispered. "It's not safe whenever anyone leaves, it bothers me."

Denise nodded, pen scratching against paper. "How could you feel better?"

Pandora thought about it, how could she feel better? Her mind wandered back to the training with Rosita that had helped her feel more in control. Then the feeling of the gun in her hands, the cold metal against her fingertips.

"Defending myself, or knowing how to. That helps."

"Good then we will get you to do more of that." The Doctor's smile was somewhat dazzling.

They talked for a while longer, Denise explaining that generalized anxiety was very common in individuals with PTSD. They talked about the scale system that had fallen to the side in the last few weeks or so. How she needed to start using it again to help everyone understand what she was going through.

When they were finished, Pandora headed back to the house but she didn't plan to be there for long. Bounding up to her room, she changed into something she could work out in. It was a nice day, better to spend it outside getting a workout than inside worrying about when they would come back. Hair pulled up into a tight bun she went back outside in black tights and a green t-shirt hanging loose around her frame. Denise had said if it makes her feel better to do it, this would make her feel better. Pandora was almost sure Denise hadn't meant for her to work out right now, but she didn't care.

She started with a run around Alexandria, the burning in her lungs was becoming an old friend now. It only pushed her to go faster to see how far she could make it before she needed to stop. This time, her need to stop came after a lot longer but it had her bending over and holding her sides, struggling to pull in enough breath.

"Pandora?"

A voice had her raising arms from where they were still wrapped around her middle. Carl stood in front of her, Judith in the stroller in front of him.

"Hey Carl, Judith!" She was still gasping slightly, breathing a little ragged.

"Are you ok?" He was watching her with a hesitant expression on his face.

"Ya, I was running. Stopped to catch my breath."

She smiled at him, leaning down to pat Judith on the head the little girl cooed at her, reaching chubby fingers out towards her.

Glancing up at Carl, she flashed him a half smile Judith still holding a death grip on her fingers. "I have to keep busy." She volunteered offhandedly.

The boy only nodded, eyes locked on hers. He understood, she wasn't sure how, but something in her eyes told her he knew what she was talking about.

"Anyway, I'll see you later ok?"

She was gone then, pulling her finger from Judith and heading back down the street at a jog. She didn't stop though, in their small private yard she worked the rest of her body. Push ups, squats, lunges, she did every exercise she could think of until she found herself dry heaving into the dying grass.

Rolling over onto her side, she lay panting in the grass with her eyes closed. Everything burned, everything ached. It didn't matter though, every day was better and every day she could do more to push herself further. Whatever happened in her nightmares would never be her reality again.

She lay there until her muscles began to cramp from lack of use and her stomach screamed out for something to eat. Only then did she peel herself up from the ground and head back inside. Above her the sky was beginning to go dark.

In the kitchen, she found herself looking through the cupboard. There wasn't much in there, she really needed to make a trip to the pantry and pick something up. She found a box of Kraft dinner and some tuna in the cupboards, she decided that they were going to have to do.

When her steaming, hot bowl of Kraft dinner was made she turned in a circle around the kitchen. Right, she was alone tonight. For a second she wasn't sure what to do with herself. The smell of the food and the growling in her stomach reminded her that she needed to eat.

Body sinking into the sofa, she ate by the light of the small side table lamp. It was unsettling being in the house alone. Everyone she would have gone to for company was gone. She tried thinking of who hadn't gone, she knew Carl and Judith were a few houses down from her but that was it, the rest of her group was gone off on the same mission.

Washing the dishes, she looked outside. It was dark now, she had spent more time than she thought working out in the backyard.

"Tomorrow," She said out loud to herself. "They will be back tomorrow."

Alone with nothing else to do, she found herself in the bathroom shower, the water working to ease out the tightness in her muscles. Out, dried and dressed in a tank top and shorts, she slipped into bed hoping her mind and body were too tired to dream.

When she stirs, light streams into her room cutting through the darkness behind her lids. She knew that she had been right. She raises her arms over her head working out the knots that formed overnight. It was nice to get up and feel like she had rested for once. Rolling onto her side, she peered out the window to listen to the sounds of the morning.

The growling in her stomach was what finally forced her out of bed. Now that she didn't spend so much time in her own head, her body was rather demanding. She found getting dressed hard, pulling on her pants was a nightmare with the tightness in her legs. She slipped a deep blue tank top over her sports bar, a t-shirt over that and a zip-up on top of that. She found herself wearing more clothes than she usually did as it stopped anyone from looking at her thin frame for too long.

When she headed into the kitchen, she ran the plan of the day over in her head. She had planned it beforehand as it helped her stay calm. She would eat first, clean up after, then sit at the watch tower until they all came back. It may seem like that second part was the hardest, the waiting, but it was what she needed to do first that proved to be the hardest. The watch tower called to her almost louder than the need for food called to her.

Standing in the kitchen, she had made the perfect choice: eating on the run. With two protein bars, an apple and a few peaches shoved in a bag on her back, she headed for her favorite place to watch. It was always the guard tower right at the gate where she liked to go. When she got there, Holly was standing watch with a gun over her shoulder.

They nodded a good morning to each other as she climbed over the railing of the lookout and went to sit on the wall itself. Flipping the bag over to the front of her chest, she pulled out her on-the-run breakfast and dug in. At least when they came back she would be able to say she had done a great job at taking care of herself.

Hours passed, she was sure of it as the sun had moved to a mid-way point in the sky before she saw the first car. Shielding her eyes from the sun, she tried to see what was making all the noise. Behind the line of returning vehicles she saw the source of the sound, Daryl bringing up the rear on his bike.

She was down off the wall in seconds. This time, she went right off the front by tucking and rolling to land on her feet on the outside of the wall. The bag had moved back to her back now and she was running for him. She caught a few looks from the people in the car but no one stopped her, they knew better then that.

The moment he saw her he stopped, putting his feet down and leaning the bike on the kick stand. He was stopped and she was slipping up on the back of the bike with her frame pressed to him tightly.

"Take me for a ride?" She whispered in his ear, wrapping her arms around his middle.

He didn't answer, only kicked the kick-stand up and started the bike again. He turned around, leaving the line of cars entering Alexandra behind them. The speed picked up around them and the once nicely formed trees were now green blurs moving past her. Her arms tightened around him as the speed increased. She didn't even have time to wonder where he might be taking her, they were just gone. Ripping past homes until there was almost nothing but forest around them.

After what felt like a long time, she felt the rumble of the bike slow under her and before she knew it, they were stopped and he was helping her off the bike. Her arms were tight around him the second her feet touched the ground. He held her back just as tightly, if not tighter. She could swear she felt a slight shake in his shoulders as he pressed himself against her.

"It's over?" She questioned, leaning her head back enough to speak. It didn't last long as he was holding her close again.

"Yah it's done."

Despite the warmth that being enclosed in his arms provided, she pulled away to put her hands on his upper arms and look at him. There was something wrong, something different on his face. She was frantic for a second, eyes searching him for a sign of anything she might have missed.

"What happened?" Voice pitched high with panic, she ran her arms over his arms and chest. "Were you bit? Was someone hurt?"

"No, no." His hands found her wrists, stopping the exploration she was taking of his body. "Nothing like that, Pan."

"Then what?"

He made a noise somewhere between a sigh and a grunt before reaching into his back pocket for his pack of cigarettes. Sticking two in his mouth, he lit them both, handing the second one to her without asking. Taking a long drag, she watched him ease himself down onto the grass at the side of the road. Shifting her weight from one foot to the other, she finally joined him on the ground.

Low-level anxiety thrummed through her now, they were outside just sitting in the open. Flicking the end of her cigarette, her other hand ran over the handle on her knife that now never left her belt.

"We got in, cleared it out, no one got hurt," Daryl muttered, eyes staring off into the distance. "We were about to head home then some asshole tried to get away on my fucking bike. Ah stopped him, then someone called on the radio he had."

Pandora glanced over at him from the corner of her eye, she could see the torment on his face. Daryl usually wasn't so easy to read, but today he was an open book.

"They had Carol and Maggie, some other assholes had found them before we got back."

Understanding dawned on her then, they had taken Carol, that was why he was so worked up. In the last few days, there had been something different about Carol. She had become withdrawn, stopping by from time to time with food but never staying long. Leaning over, she flicked the ash off the end of her cigarette and rested her head on his shoulder. Her head was met with tightly coiled muscles ready to spring.

"They left a trail, Ah found them but by the time we got there Maggie and Carol had killed them all." He stopped then to flick the cigarette across the road, a slight tremble in his fingers. "Its changing her, this world."

Sighing, she pressed herself closer to him snaking her arm around his waist. She knew what he was talking about, she had seen something different in Carol's eyes too. When they had talked a few days ago in the kitchen she had seen that far away look in Carol's eyes.

"Ya, I've seen it." She finally answered, head still pressed against him.

"Ah don't know what to say to her, how to help." His arm came around her then, warmth rolling off him in waves.

Pandora took a few seconds to enjoy the moment between them before answering. With a deep breath she said "Maybe she needs time, this world is hard."

"She knows that!" He snapped and shut his eyes then, pinching the bridge of his nose hard.

"You can't save everyone." She whispered.

Beside her, Daryl only grunted and shifted just out of her view. Then he produced two more cigarettes and lit them, he was handing her one before she could say anything. They finished them together, each taking long, slow drags.

Pandora tilted her head up to stare at the mid-afternoon sky. It was warmer than she thought it was going to be as the sun was shining down and warming her skin. She was outside the walls. The excitement in seeing Daryl and the panic in thinking someone had been hurt hadn't allowed her time to panic about where she was. Oddly, the memories of her morning workouts and training with Rosita gave her a measure of comfort.

"What number?" His voice was gruff, emotions thinly controlled.

"Two." The number gives her a pause, she can't remember the last time she had felt a two. Not outside of the walls that was for sure, but now sitting here, she felt nothing but calm.

Daryl's answer was more of a sound rather than a word, but she didn't mind since she knew what he meant. They sat there for a long time, silence stretching out around them. He still felt so stiff against her, she wanted to soften it so she tried to press herself closer. He was unresponsive and made no move to soften his edges.

"What else?" She asked, fingers tapping his arm lightly. At first it didn't seem like he heard her but when her nails brushed the exposed skin of his wrist she watched him turn. His face was hard, mouth pressed into a thin line and eyes fixing on hers. Something shifted deep in her gut uncoiling and taking root somewhere inside her. Her fingers drew circles on the little patch of exposed skin she had found on his wrist.

"Yah would've been in the RV." His voice was low as he said this. "When those motherfuckers rolled up on them you would have been in there, because Ah asked you to. They would have got yah, because of me."

The revelation turned around in her brain, she tried to picture what might have happened then, tried to picture herself there. She couldn't though, every time she tried, images of her waiting in Alexandria cut through. Sighing, she flicked her cigarette away since it had gone out a long time ago.

"I wasn't there," Sitting on her knees now she went behind him to put her head lightly on his shoulder blade. "I was waiting as safe as I could be inside the walls." Turning her head, she pressed her lips against his vest, breathing in the deep scent of him: smoke, motor oil and blood. "You can't blame yourself for something that didn't even happen."

"Ah was just thinking is all, it would have been mah fault."

Unsure of how to answer him, she settled for tightening her arms around him. He reached up, placing his big hands over hers and sighed. She was warm again, not just on the outside from the heat that always seemed to come from within him but inside herself. A feeling bloomed in her chest as she lay her head to the side, ear pressed against his shoulder to listen to his heartbeat. It was while she was counting to the rhythm of his beat that he spoke.

"We should go back, don't want the others to worry."

Sighing, she knew he was right. This moment seemed to perfect to end it she longed to stay right here. But, she thought about Carol, thought about the battles Carol was having in her head, and felt bad for keeping Daryl from her. Letting her arms fall away, she paused for a moment before she stood and started heading towards where they had left the bike. With her small frame and keen sense of balance she could get onto the back seat without the bike so much as quivering.

Daryl eyed her through the tiny slits of his eyes then got into the front seat and started it. Her fingers moved over the cool leather of the seat under her, she really had grown to like the rides they had begun taking again. Never too far, just a few minutes outside the gate and coming back. When he lost the bike, she had been in no shape to leave the walls but now everything was better.

Now, the feeling of the wind whipping past her was grounding. It was reminding her that she was here in this moment, rather than stuck in the past. As they rolled past the gates into Alexandria, Pandora leaned over Daryl's shoulder to whisper in his ear.

"Go check on Carol, I'll make dinner." She hopped off the bike before he could answer and headed right to the pantry. Despite all the time she had spent here, she had only come in a handful of times as all her neighbors were good at making sure they both stayed fed.

The door was open and Olivia was standing inside counting the new stuff they had brought in.

"Grab a basket and take what you need, you're long overdue for a trip!"

Pandora only nodded, grabbing a basket and beginning to wander through the shelves. When she was done, she had some powdered milk, a box of cereal, trail mix, packages of miso soup and a handful of fresh veggies. As she was in the last aisle debating over an item, Olivia steps into her space.

"Come back whenever you need anything else ok?"

Pandora only nodded, slipping the box of granola bars in her basket before heading out.

It took no time to unload the stuff she had just gotten as they had a pretty bare kitchen. She went to work right away on dinner, heating the soup and starting the veggies. By the time Daryl came home, the big pot of vegetable miso soup was ready to eat. Not speaking, he lowered himself into one of the stools across from the stove.

Pandora already had a full bowl in hand by the time he was done getting comfortable. Taking her own bowl, she sat beside him.

"Hi," She whispered around the spoon in the mouth.

Daryl hunched over the bowl and looked up at her with his spoon halfway to his mouth. She couldn't help but smile at him and the sweet tired lines of his face. Still grinning, she went back to her own bowl. Two spoonfuls later he spoke to her.

"Ah checked on her."

"And?"

"She says she's alright."

But he knows that she isn't, that part is left hanging unsaid between them. Shifting, she keeps her eyes down on the bowl. She had seen Carol's face when they had come back, she knew the other woman wasn't okay. For now, that conversation took a backseat as they ate with their eyes down on their bowls.

"I'm glad you're all back safe." She finally whispered, spoon hitting the now empty bowl in front of her.

That got his attention. Looking up, the edge of his mouth turned up in a small smile. "Ah always come back."

She took his bowl and her own to the sink. He was beside her though, pushing her to the side and turning the water on himself to wash the dishes.

"You don't have to I can do it."

"Nah Ahm good. Go to the sofa."

Doing as she was told, she curled under the heavy blanket in the corner of the couch. In the kitchen, she heard him turning off the water and then he was sitting down beside her. His arm bumped her shoulder and she flinched slightly. He was so in tune with her that he was turning right away, pulling up her sleeve to check the area he had just hit. Along the top of her arm ran a dark purple bruise.

"The hell is this?" His voice had a sharp edge.

Shrugging him off her, she pulled her sleeve back down, "I was working out it must have happened then. Doc said if it helps, I should do it." She stretched her arm out in front of her to tighten her fingers into a fist. "Being strong helps me feel better."

He snorts, but starts to tell her more about the day then. About the things they had found in the base and how they were going to use it. They had quite a few guns so they would get added to the store they had now, the food would be taken into the pantry and used for everyone. Some time during his story she felt herself drifting off.

The next thing she remembered, she was being lifted gently and placed under warm covers. Blinking, she tried to clear the sleep from her eyes to see where she was.

"Go to sleep." Someone is surrounding her, Daryl, his smell in the sheets and the warmth coming from his body. With a long deep sigh, she curls closer to him and drifts away.