Notes: I'm back! So the posting is going to be a little less frequent as my beta reader and up and moved to the other side of the world *cries*
I liked writing this chapter so I hope you all enjoy reading it! I'm so excited for where this story is heading.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The morning light finds them still in bed, nothing but a tangle of limbs and sheets. They seemed frozen, unmoving in their perfect moment. Sunlight didn't care about how happy they looked, it shone hot and bright through the curtains. The light tickles her eyelids, Pandora finds her eyes flickering open hand coming up to cover them. Beside her Daryl shifted still sleeping, pulling her closer hiding his face in her hair. With a sigh, she relaxed against his hold but couldn't close her eyes again.
Pandora allowed the stillness to wash over her as she stared at him. This was something she had rarely seen, Daryl so calm and relaxed. He looked so much younger like this, deep worry lines fading away in his sleep. He slept deeply still with her frame pressed against him he didn't even stir at her small movements. Unable to help herself, she leaned her head upwards lips brushing the stubble of his chin.
That was the movement that woke him, she felt the change in his breathing the slight shift in his muscles. He was tightening his arms around her, blue eyes blinking open slowly.
"Mornin'" He whispered it into her hair and face pressed against her head.
"Hi." Her response was mumbled since she had now pressed her face in the hollow of his neck. They stayed like that unmoving curled up together for a while longer. She couldn't bring herself to move as if that would bring them back to reality.
"Yah gonna get up?"
Pandora laughed fingers tangling in the material of his shirt. "No, let's stay here. Just us." She wants him to stay like this, warm and relaxed pressed against him.
Daryl doesn't answer her, only makes a sound in his throat before pulling her in tighter. She feels his fingers under her chin, and she is going slack allowing him to move her head. She stares into his eyes, it's her that closes the gap though. Pressing her lips to his, softer this time wanting to savour him.
He responds with the same softness hand gently cupping her cheek deepening the kiss. There is a stirring in her chest, she is almost sure she is going to explode with the pressure of it. She opens her mouth a fraction enough for her tongue to peek out. The moment she licked his lip he was stopping her, firm hands on her shoulders.
Daryl put space between them watching her through strands of his hair. Blinking hard she ran her finger lightly on her lips missing the sensation of him.
"Are you ok?" She asked craning her head to get closer to him. Daryl lifted his hand to her face stroking it with gentle fingers. He closed his eyes hands running over her face as if he was trying to memorize her. She tried to move her head enough to kiss him again, but he dodged her.
"Pan wait," He pulled himself into a sitting position, eyes still boring holes into her. "Yah ok, right? With this? With me?"
Pandora had to stopped moving for a moment, still herself rather than trying to reach for his lips. She couldn't quite understand what he was really asking her. Was she ok with what? Kissing him? Was there a universe where he thought she wouldn't want to kiss him. He had spent the night in her bed, he had woken to her kissing him why would he need to ask.
Pulling the blankets back over herself she curled into his chest again, "I'm fine. I like this, I like you."
Some of the stiffness she felt in his frame melted as she moved closer. He was still sitting up though unwilling to curl back into the bed with her.
"Ya hungry?" Daryl asked brushing a stray hair from her face. Silently she nodded still curled under the covers. "Stay then lazy Ah'll bring it." As he got up, he pressed a kiss to her forehead.
Tucked under the blankets she watched him go only when his figured retired did she sit up in the bed letting the blankets pool around her waist. Her fingers brushed the spot Daryl had just left, it was still warm she wasn't dreaming after all.
Downstairs she heard him in the kitchen, opening cupboards and what not. She wondered what he was making, not that he could really cook. But since their deal with the Hilltop meals had become more balanced, Hilltop had given them fresh fruit, veggies. Life within the walls was good this was the best anything had been in a long time.
That piece of information rattled in her brain for a few moments, until it began to grow into something different. Did she deserve anything this good? She thought about the families they had left in the apartment building, the children she had left in favor of her own family.
Shame flared choking off her air, her hands shook as she tried to press her eye lids. In her head Denise's voice sounds delivering clear in instructions for beating the panic.
"Take a step back." She told herself out loud. Like a movie she paused the thoughts trying to stop them, put them away somewhere else.
She had done what she had to do to get to this place. Not everyone can be saved. Besides, she had been punished, enough hadn't she? Wasn't this the small light at the end of a tunnel she had been fighting so hard for? It was and if anyone fucking deserved this she did.
But still sometimes her mind was a dangerous place and in the dark corners voices always whispered to her, calling her the monster.
In the time, it took for her to calm down Daryl came back. He only had to glance at her sitting up knees pulled into her chest to know she was panicking. Whatever he held in his hands he left on the side table filling his arms with her instead. Pressed against him panic began to leach from her muscles. She counted slowly breath in five, breath out five, and again and again until his voice stopped her.
"Yah ok?" His voice rumbled inside her rib cage.
Silent she nodded against him pressing her head deeper into his chest. She was better, the panic no longer tried to make its home inside her chest anymore. Her breathing had become a slow steady intake a breath again.
"Come 'on them eat."
Daryl shifted a fraction only to lean over and reach for the bowls, he kept her close though tucking her under his free arm. they sat in silence eating the oatmeal and fresh fruit he brought. She didn't want to talk about what had happened and he didn't seem inclined to ask. Which suited her fine really.
Some days were better than others always. But this was too different. Sure, she wanted it. Whatever this new relationship they had entered but still her brain rebelled against anything new, be it good or bad. This was oh so good though, having him just like this. She stole glances at him from over the rim of her bowl, he caught her a few times but he only turned red shaking his head at her.
"Can we go for a ride?"
Outside their open window there was the sounds of their little town coming alive. Usually it was calming but today, today she didn't want any part of it. The room was too hot suddenly and the idea of all the eyes outside of this room was unsettling. She wanted to be alone with him, to sort out some of her head in silence.
"Ain't you gotta see Rosita and the Doc?"
Daryl asked taking the empty bowl she has forgotten in her hands. She watched him place them on his nightstand.
The last thing she wanted to do was therapy. She didn't feel like explaining last night's events to anyone yet. Not even Denise. Just the image of Denise making notes in her book made her angry. Sometimes she felt like a science experiment. Her trauma went in that book nothing else, not the happy things. She hated the idea of putting her and Daryl in the fucking book.
"No." Slipping from the bed she grabbed a random assortment of clothing and headed for the bathroom to change. Daryl could never say no to her anyway, he would take her no matter what.
When she stepped back out of the bathroom the room was empty, bed made dirty dishes gone. Her stomach tightened daily living activities still escaped her notice sometimes, it was all too easy for her to get lost in her own head.
Leaving her room, she wandered downstairs, she finds Daryl in the kitchen drying the last of the dishes he had washed.
"I am terrible at housekeeping." Pandora muttered leaning on the counter arms tightly crossed over her chest.
Daryl left the towel on the counter and came to her. His arms looped around her waist pulling her close.
"Ah got it, for both of us."
"Daryl Dixon a man full of surprises." Her tone was light despite the shame she felt curling in her gut. She eyed him through the hair that had fallen in front of her face. He was smiling down at her just a small one the corner of his mouth lifting an itch.
"Can Ah?"
She didn't let him finish only kissed him again harder this time and he sighed into her mouth.
"Ah could get use to this." He said when they broke apart, he pressed his forehead to hers, "We should go then before someone comes looking for yah."
Pandora doesn't waste a moment only tangles her fingers her in his and pulls him towards the door. They are peeling out of the gate before anyone really notices they're gone.
They roll back into Alexandria some hours later, passing Rosita and Spencer speaking outside Rosita's place. Daryl lets her slip off the bike as he puts it away leaving her standing in their driveway. A pang of interest makes her turn to watch Rosita again but when Spencer turns to leave, Spencer catches her eye, she looks away. As she turns back to Rosita, she realizes she are outside medical, and that Denise is coming to the door. Both women turn to them eyes fixed on what she can assume is Daryl behind her. Denise waves and gestures at them, Pandora is sure she is about to ask where she has been so she heads towards them Daryl behind her hand on the small of her back.
There is already a conversation happening when they step towards them, and Pandora is trying to puzzle out the looks of both Denies' and Rosita's face. The mix of emotion on them both is hard for her to understand finally she stops trying. Wrapping her arm inside of Daryl's she tries to get the rest of the conversation.
"After I got out of DC, I just drove. I remember seeing it right when I had no idea where I was going. Then I saw it Edison's Apothecary and Boutique. It's just this little gift shop in a strip mall, but if it's really an apothecary they had drugs."
Pandora knows right away what Denise wants, it's written all over her face the despiration. Denise wants to go outside of the walls she wants to go with them to that store. Them, her use of the word is so easy, she is part of them now.
"How do you know they still got 'em? Daryl is quick to be the first to speak, eyes fixed on the doctor.
"It isn't that far, I just want to check."
From her spot beside Daryl she pinched him, he stiffens under her but never looked over at her. She was trying to warn him and he was ignoring her, damn it. He has the ability to be gentle to soften the harsh edges of his words, and that is what he needs to do right now.
"And you and Rosita aren't out scavenging or pulling shifts."
Pandora leaned against him harder. Still, he ignores her making no move to pull her closer or push her away. She feels like a child tugging at her parent's pant leg for attention.
"We'll go."
"I wanted to check." Denise is steeling herself, she had taught Pandora to do the same thing. "I just wanted to help."
Daryl isn't having it he scoffs inching forward towards Denise. "How much time you spend out there?"
"None."
"Forget it." Daryl's turning now, he's trying to pull Pandora with him. But she wiggles out of his grip and rests her hand on Denise's arm.
Denise looks down patting Pandora's hands gently. "I can ID the meds. I know how to use a machete now. I've seen roamers up close. I'm ready."
Pandora wanted to tell her she wasn't ready, no one would ever be ready.
"You good with this?" He shoots towards Rosita standing behind the Doctor arms crossed stiffly over her chest.
"No." Rosita snapped her signature sneer on her face.
"I'll go with you." Pandora offered in a small voice. Daryl is by her side again her eyes flicker up only to be met with his hard stare.
"Like hell you will." Daryl growls shaking his head.
"I'll go alone if I have too!" Denise fired back.
Pandora stood beside Daryl now who was already half turned to leave, clearly finished with the conversation. Pandora could understand this side of Denise, the need to do something, to want to help in some way. She knew the Doctor was the most important person here, but with no one to save every day she was sure if didn't feel like it.
"You'll die alone." Daryl commented in Denise's direction. Pandora let out a small gasp hitting him in the arm. He looked down at her raising his eyebrows in question knowing he isn't wrong.
But Denise was unphased, "I'm asking you to make sure I don't."
There was a moment of silence, Daryl was looking at her, then allowing his gaze to slide Rosita. He was thinking about it she could tell, with Daryl it was always best to play to his protective side, something Pandora had learned early.
"I'm not babysitting her by myself." Rosita added hand on her chest.
"I'm coming." Pandora added her voice stronger now eyes on Daryl challenging him to say something to her. Instead he flung his hands up cursing under her breath storming away from her.
Despite herself she threw a wink in Denise's direction before running off the join Daryl as he headed towards the house. Behind her Rosita cursed and fumed as well muttering something about more babysitting but the rest she didn't catch moving to far away.
At the house, she could hear him slamming around his room, she ignored it grabbing a backpack and filling it with supplies. An extra knife tucked into her boots, two more at her waist and gun in its holster. But when she turns to leave her room Daryl is in the doorway, body drawn in a tight line.
"Yah ain't comin' "He snaps tone darker laced tight with anger.
Blinking she is somewhat startled at this side of him, but only shakes her head pulling the back tighter on her back. "I'm going, and so are you, and so is Rosita and Denise."
"Like hell yah are," He nearly growls the word fingers tightening on the doorframe. "Ah aint takin' yah out there with them."
Anger flares up now hot and bright in her chest. She works god damn hard everyday to make sure she can do these things, to make sure she isn't some sheltered basket case hiding in the walls. Daryl doesn't get to pick and choose her runs for her. "And why the hell not? I've gone before with you and Rick."
Daryl is shaking his head hair covering his eyes, he's trying to control himself she can tell.
"It ain't the same, Ah don't gotta watch Rick just you. There too many people coming Pan!" He's choking on the words brain moving too quick. "Shit goes down Ah gotta get you out. It's always you first, then what happens to Rosita? the Doc? Huh?"
By the time he gets the rest of the sentence out he is breathless and shouting. Pandora is unfazed though slipping up in front of him she snakes her arms around his waist. She can almost touch the tension between them as if it were its own person. He relaxes against her though pressing his face into her hair, breathing slowing down.
"It's always you first."
"I will be safe. I trust you to keep us all safe." Letting go of him she grabs his face gently forcing him to look at her now. "I trust you to keep me safe Daryl."
He kisses her then it's slow, soft and gentle. But there is something else there a desperation coiled tight, it lurks just there under his skin.
"It ain't the same anymore." He whispers forehead resting against hers.
Pandora can't help but laugh placing another quick kiss on his lips before stepping from the circle of his arms.
"I think it's been like this for a while."
Notes: Well there you have it! Again I loved writing this chapter, I like playing with the dynamic between Daryl and Pandora with her newly formed independence. We are moving into some really exciting stuff I can't wait to share the next few chapters with you guys! Leave me some love!