"These upper levels are for all the higher ups." Negan makes a sweeping motion with his hand. "My room, my wives rooms a few of my good men, and you."
Outside her door to the right is a hallway of different doors, the hall is long leading to a set of stairs to somewhere she doesn't know. Down she assumes, maybe even outside. To the left two more doors sit then a railing that looks down to the other levels.
The warm air moves past her, circulated by the fans she catches sight of over her head. She hears them too a low humming sound in the background. It's loud below them, sounds bouncing off the walls echoing around her.
"This is the marketplace." Negan leans on the railing. Pandora can't help but stare at him, at the attention he commands without even trying. His eyes move swift over the people under him, she can almost see the wheels in his head turning. Then he shifts toward her the distance between them grating on the edges of her nerves. He's so close, always so close. It's hard to think when he does that, that's why he does it.
Her eyes snap from his face after a moment, turning to follow his gaze instead. People are mulling about below them going about their lives. They know he is standing above them, but no one so much as glances in his direction. The whole place runs with an invisible order, everyone moves around knowing where they need to be. That brings a sense of calm to her, the calm inner workings of their machine. This place seems to run like a well-oiled machine.
"Other people sleep on the other side," he waves his hand towards the people below them in a dismissive gesture. "Few people have a room nice as yours Princess remember that."
Pandora will remember, she knows what her other option is. Somewhere down the stairs there is a dark room, where all her nightmares live in the darkness, and everything she does is to make sure she doesn't go back.
The tour is short like Negan said it would be. He waves his hand in a few directions and gives her vague explanations about where things are. He breezes over the exits, and other things. Her brain struggles to understand what he has left out, there are things she knows he isn't saying but she can't quite lock onto them. He has missed things, doors he didn't talk about, hallways he ignored.
Negan is still talking as they walk together, his hand is holding her elbow grip light. She's not listening though she watches the people moving past her. Some of them glance at her and the look in their eyes makes her want to shrink smaller. Most people do not even give her a single glance they keep their heads down breezing past her.
Someone calls Negan from the right and he drops her elbow before turning away. Negan is deep in conversation leaving her forgotten. She comes to a stop in the middle of a pathway she titles her head up to the sky catching the warm say's of sun. A chill found her skin the shade, here the sun can chase it away.
The earth has no regard for the horrors of the new world. It moves on passing from day to night season to season. It's a wonder, the earth is relieved she is sure. Less stress fewer humans, the ability to heal from the long standing damage done by humans. Mother Nature may not even miss them, the humans that are already gone.
People come and go around her shifting to the side to pass her without getting to close. Pandora wonders what they know about her. Do they know what he did to her people that night in the woods, how he bent their community into submission. Although she got the sense that Negan bringing people back with him was commonplace.
A sound catches her attention as she stands, mooing. Turning to the left she moves further away from him following the new sound. Enclosed in a small fenced in area there are a few cows. Huge creatures and she can't help but be shocked by them. Pandora never gave a thought to farm animals, just assumed they were all eaten by the dead.
The beast ambles up to her chewing a strand of grass hanging from its mouth. Hand stretched out she touches its head just a whisper of a touch, the big black and white beauty doesn't seem to notice her at all. There is something so surreal about it, it's not normal. Does it even now the world is different now? It goes on with its life, just like always no idea anything around them is different.
"Pan?"
She knows the sound of his voice anywhere, and inside something in her chest is broken. She turns with caution because this might be a trick of the drugs. Not that she hadn't hallucinations before, she has. When Pandora has her back to the cow Daryl is standing there plain as day. It makes little sense to see him here outside, to have him allowed to be close to her. But it doesn't matter, and she doesn't have the energy to wonder.
"Daryl." She breathes the word as she closes the gap between them. Daryl doesn't miss a beat arms outstretched to hold her. Pandora sinks into him a small broken sob escaping her lips.
He holds her tighter, she can almost feel her bones grinding together. It doesn't matter though this is the best she has felt in days. Her mind is hazy, but it doesn't matter because he's holding her.
"I love you." Pandora whispers lips pressed to his neck.
"Ah love you too. Ya did it Pandora, yah do what he says."
She doesn't know what to say to that. He sees it then or heard it maybe Dwight told him what happened. Maybe Daryl knows now she is a good girl, a good little pet.
"I can't go back in the dark Daryl."
"No, yah stay out of there it's ok. I know."
Daryl knows, he knows the ins and out of the process of her getting better. That confirmation that ok to do whatever she needs to do to make it through this, eases the knot tied tight in her gut.
"Oh no no no." It's Negan's voice booming behind her.
There isn't even a moment for her to process him behind her. But her body is moving already racing to the fear he induces inside her. Pandora shoots out of Daryl's arms so fast she is stumbling backwards tripping over her own feet on the uneven ground. Negan has her his grip warm and solid on her upper arms keeping her standing. Turning her head to the side she is meet with Negan's grin. He isn't angry or if he is there is no sign on it on his face, instead he is smiling at her looking genuinely amused.
She is already crying tears staining her cheeks. "I'm sorry Negan, don't hurt him." The sun is too bright behind him blocking out his expression. Pandora can't see him, can't read his expression in the glaring light. Her fingers reach out gripping his jacket. "Please."
"Hey, hey, come on now Princess don't do that." Negan reaches out wrapping an arm around her shoulders pulling her into a tight hug.
She can't move can breath, her brain trips over herself at the contact. He's solid though, frame warm heat radiating outwards into her. It reminds her of where she is, keeps her grounded keeps her from slipping too far into panic. Negan shouldn't be able to help her like this. Her stomach twists at the sense of comfort she feels, guilt makes her sick. Her body doesn't know the different though it relaxes in his hold, tension melting away.
"Now Daryl look at what you did to poor Pandora here, she's been doing so good." His hand rubs circles on her back.
It makes her feel sick how her body responds to him. How does Negan do that, he knows her. He is too good at watching her.
"Now Daryl my boy, this is a special lady you got here let me tell you. And you can see her whenever you want as soon as you answer my question."
There are more voices around her she's sure. But she can't focus. It's a slow downward descent into for that she knows is the drugs. They peek in her system taking her away from the present moment.
Before she realizes, she's moving. Or being moved. She isn't telling her body anything but Negan is doing all the movement for her. Ushering her gently up into the back of a black truck. He is already inside the truck, sitting in the middles seat hands reaching out for her.
"Here you go now Princess watch your step." Negan warns her but doesn't let her do it herself, instead he lifts her into the seat. Cold leather creaks under her hands when he sets her down.
Pandora falls asleep when they move letting the white noise of the cars and the vibration under her take her away. It's easy to give into the drugs, to let them sweep her away like water. She used to rage against them, hates she needs them for anything usually, but now she would rather be high.
When she wakes, it's because they have stopped. Groggy Pandora blinks a few times rubbing the heels of her hands over her eyes. The homes of Alexandria come into focus around her. They are already inside the walls, a long line of vehicles lines up along the outer wall. She's late to the party she realizes, Negan and his men are already out spreading out around the front gate.
The sun is bright outside the truck, there isn't a cloud in the shy to block its rays. It in sharp contrast to how cold she feels inside, to the cold of icy dread curling in her stomach. There is a bone-deep chill that comes from being this high, can't have all the positive without some negative.
Her side door opens too quick for her to catch herself, she comes spilling out of the truck. Negan is there though catching her, hands tight on her upper arms.
"There we go Princess." Its Negan's voice, he shifts his hands from her arms one arm going around her waist. Somewhere she knows this should bother her. But it doesn't, not now. "Rick was so kind to remind me I'm late in paying him a little visit. I wanted to show him why."
Blinking Pandora reached up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear before swinging her gaze to Rick. He's watching her, something twisted on his face.
"Why was I so busy Princess?" Negan prompts her again. He wants her to answer. That takes a second too for her to find the words in her head.
"I wasn't being good." She answers, words thick and heavy on her tongue. Even to her own ears her voice is hallow. "I had to learn to be good first."
The laughter from him is booming, it shakes her bones and echoes in the surrounding silence. Rick doesn't speak only stares at her eyes wet with tears. There is a sound somewhere behind Rick and Pandora glances to find it. Her eyes meet Rosita standing stiff arms crossed. The other woman stares at Pandora open mouthed and horrified. She doesn't care about the other woman's feelings, the way she looks at her. Pandora is doing what she does best, living. She knows this is the only way she stays out of the darkness; the only way Daryl is safe.
Negan moves forward, steps further into what used to be her home. There should be more feeling here, more rage at this monster being here. Pandora feels nothing, the long-held tension in her muscles is gone leaving a feather lightness.
"Hot diggy dog this place is magnificent! An embarrassment of riches as they say. Yes, sir, I do believe you gonna have plenty to offer."
Negan walks forward not far a few steps or so. Pandora isn't sure what to do next, so she turns to glance at the people behind her. Negan's men stand still all at attention, all waiting in silence for an instruction. She is doing the same she thinks, standing and waiting.
'Because I'm his now, I'm his people.'
Rick walks past her then head to Daryl behind her. She knows Daryl is there, can feel him like a phantom limb.
"Daryl, hey."
"No!" Negan turning back eyes sweeping her to glare at Rick. "Nope. He's the help. You don't talk to him, you don't look at him, and I don't make her chop anything off of him."
Pandora blinks struggling through the heavy feeling in her brain, she realizes he is pointing a finger at her. She would be the one to hurt Daryl if it came to that. There isn't many of her people standing at the gate but Rosita is still there. Pandora can almost feel the burning rage coming from her small frame.
Negan must feel something too because he turns and looks at her, "Same goes for everyone, same rules for the Princess." There is a moment of silence and Pandora struggles to see Rosita's face. "Right?"
Rosita doesn't answer only turns and leaves arms still crossed tight over her chest. Pandora meets her eyes-only a for a second, that's all she can stand under her rage. Rosita is mad at her, mad because she isn't fighting, maybe. Mad because maybe Rosita thinks she should fight, but she doesn't understand.
The tangle of her thoughts is hard to escape, but when the sound of Arat shouting for the men to get moving she jumps. Around her there is movement Negan's men move around her heading towards the houses.
"They're gonna search the houses a bit, keep the process movin'" Negan snaps his fingers and like the good girl she is Pandora steps up beside him. "So, you gonna show me around or not?"
For a few hard seconds there is silence and Pandora wonders if he is talking to her. So, she pulls her eyes from the ground and looks at him. Negan isn't looking at her though, he is looking at Rick over his shoulder.
With his arm around her Negan turns, "Well?"
She wants to scream at Rick to tell him he has to do what he's told because if he doesn't nothing good will happen. She doesn't need to though maybe he gets the message from her gave because the moment his eyes meet hers he is moving stepping in front of Negan and walking towards the homes.
Negan leads her with him, Pandora zones out not needing to listen to Rick explain her home. She stills think of it as home though, maybe till will always be home even if she never lives her again. Even if she never steps foot back in those gates without being at Negan's side it still might feel like home.
It all looks different though, the sun doesn't shine as bright. Doesn't quite reach all the corner and or sidewalks. It's different now, or is she different it's hard to tell. A breeze picks up around her wind whispering in her ear as it pulls her hair free from behind her ears. Reaching out she tucks the stray locks back behind her ears, shifting her shoulders under Negan's arm now draped over them.
"Where did you live Princess?" Negan is leaning in close to her, voice pitched low breath tickling her ear. It's a stage whisper though, she knows Rick can still hear them.
The questions takes a few moments for her to process, looking up she tried to get her bearings. Turning to the right she looks down the street and points. "Down there, the last townhouse on the end of the street, number 14. I lived with Daryl"
Negan laughs, "What a good girl you are Pandora. Do you want anything" He tightens his hold on her shoulders just for a second.
Her eyes narrow for a second then turns her head to look up at him. It sounds like a trick to offer this to her. Not that it matters, she wants nothing, doesn't even want to think about these men in her house looking through her things. Her life here is different she likes to pretend it on hold and that she will be back here, and when she is everything will be the same.
"No, I want it here when I get back." She doesn't think about how Negan will take her answer, she just know's the answer. "I don't want them inside my house."
Laughter is her answer at first, and she jumps eyes widening in shock. He is an odd man twisted inside like only this world can do to someone. When he stops laughing, he turns his head to the right.
"Arat go make sure no one goes into the Princesses house, keep all her stuff there for later."
They walk down a few more homes, never going to the street where she lived. She's glad of that not sure there are enough drugs in her veins to be so close to something so normal. She couldn't do it, not knowing Daryl walking silent behind them now.
"You see this? This is the kind of thing just tickles my balls. A little cooperation and everything is pleasant as punch." His hand draws a circle on her shoulder, and under him she goes stiff. "You see, we really are reasonable people once you get to know us. Honest." Negan's stops at a cooler and flips it open and looks inside.
He let his arm drop as she said, "Princess get me a beer."
Pandora doesn't even think before she moves, only flips the lid open again and hands him a beer. Laughing he plucks it from her hand popping it open to drink.
"I fucking love this place."
The surrounding streets are lined with people who live in Alexandria. She can feel their eyes on her as she moved. Judging the good little pet, she had become in such a short time. She had been broken so quickly, or maybe she was already a little broken to start.
"Negan" A man comes running from the building. Sweat dripping from his cropped black hair. "Somethin' you might wanna see."
He holds out a little video camera, Negan grins and grabs it flexing his fingers around it.
"Well, well well. What do we have here? I got my fingers cross for a little freaky-deaky."
Pandora hears only the beginning of the video and she knows what it is. Knows they found the interview from when they all got there, and when she was getting better. She pictures herself in that couch, hardly getting and answers out before slipping into a panic. Sighing she walked away putting one, and a half homes between herself, Negan and the video recording.
As she walked, she sees Aaron and Eric on their porch. When she steps closer Aaron looks at her, he doesn't look angry no it's something else. Pity maybe, she can't be sure but no anger. As she stares at him she believes what she sees in his face, believes he isn't judging her. It's what she needs then, because Aaron knows he had seen her in the early days. When she was more drug than human.
She finds herself drawn to them, lowering herself onto the steps of their porch. Michael the man Negan has watching her, follows keeping a safe distance between them. Is he scared of her, she has done several things since arriving to stay with Negan. Maybe it's how unstable she is that worries him, maybe it's her proneness to violence that has Michael gripping the gun.
"What happened to that sick girl?" Maggie, Pandora shuts her eyes against the image of Maggie screaming. "That seemed like a hell of a stressful night for her. They way she was carrying on she married to number two right?"
Pandora tunes out the sound of his voice, trying instead to control the shaking. She doesn't like where this is going, no doesn't like it at all. Tightening her hands into fists she feels her nail biting into her skin.
"Care to pay your respects."
No, not respects. The world around her disappeared into a void of darkness. Pandora can hear Maggie now screaming and crying for Glenn in the darkness. She dreamed that moment repeatedly behind closed lids.
"Holy crap you are creepy as shit. Sneaking up on me wear that collar with that freaky ass smile."
"My apologies I am Father Gabriel."
"She didn't make it?"
No, no no. her head is roaring it blocks out wherever sounds come next. But Negan snaps for her and she is walking for a few more steps following the group until her body gives up. She falls to her knees, gasping for breath. There isn't enough drugs left in her veins for this, for her to get up knees in soft dirt and clean her face stained with tears.
Footsteps move away from her but she remains head presses to the soft ground. The world is not there anymore, Pandora is gone tumbling down a hole too deep.
"Get up." A voice behind her snaps, the barrel of a gun knocks her in the shoulder. She can't bring herself to move still thought, still numb from before.
"Negan?!" It's a call and a question. Hs scared because maybe she is losing her mind. Wouldn't that be horrible for Negan to lose his new pet to madness like this. "Get up!" He jabbed her harder this time slipping up to find the spot where the arrow found its home inside her.
Pain shoots like a lightening bolt inside her, it lights her brain for a moment clearing the darkness. Pandora becomes nothing but rage then. Launching herself from the ground she lunges at him, fingers hooked into claws aiming for his face.
When she lands on him Michaels first reaction is to squeeze the trigger of the gun, sending a bullet into the ground at her feet. Pandora doesn't flinch wrapping her legs around his middle clamping down. She goes for his eyes tearing a bloody ribbon down the side of his face.
"What the fuck!" He growls trying to shove her off of him. It doesn't work she only holds on tighter, feeling his bones grind between her tights.
His hand shoots out wrapping itself around her throat. He doesn't waste any time only tightens him hold cutting off her air. The edges of her vision fades for a second, but still she struggles. She drops her hands from his face than feeling the wet skin under her nails, she tries to claw at her hands now. Dragging her nails on his skin as he tightens his grip on her windpipe.
"GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF HER." Negan roars from somewhere behind her she can't turn her head to see it.
Michael flaunters just for a second and in that moment Pandora sends her open palm into his nose. There is a crunch under her palm, blood shoots from his nose covering his face and spraying her in the progress.
Suddenly she's on the floor hitting the ground hard. The impact jolts the rage and adrenaline out of her, leaving her crumpled on the floor, as gasping sobbing mess. The world comes back into focus around her, there is shouting swearing the sound of a struggle somewhere behind her.
There are hands on her face titling it upwards. Pandora squeezes her eyes shut, unable to meet to gaze of whoever is touching her.
"Pandora open those pretty eyes for me."
His voice is soft as soft as Negan's voice can get, anyway. Under that softness there is command though, so she complies opening her eyes to look at him.
"There we go." Negan stares at her, silent for a few seconds. Her eyes scan his face through the tears. There is no rage there, maybe just maybe she can even see concern. "What happened Princess?"
"I, I, I, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Her brain is a jumble of words and images, it's hard to shift through. "Please, please, please."
She's begging for what she doesn't know but she's begging. Her hand reached out clinging to the material of his jacket with desperate strength.
"I ain't mad at you Princess, Michael poked the bear, he deserved it."
That makes little sense to her, so it can't be right. So, she keeps begging keeps crying until she is sure there isn't any air in her lungs.
"Princess take a breath now, it's all right." Negan tries to calm her. His hands on her shoulders tighten their grip a fraction.
"I, I, I didn't mean to hit him." Pandora gasps her voice choked sobs. "Maggie, it's my fault. It's my fault, my fault."
She rocks back slightly one hand gripping her wrist rubbing angrily at the skin. Negan tries to stop her, she only screams shoving his hands away. Her nails drag against her skin leaving red lines. She doesn't see him anymore. She's in the woods now hands in her body tearing at her clothes hungry for her skin. Her arm swings out connecting with something hard a grunt echoing around her.
"God fucking damn it, get her something!"
There is some movement behind her maybe, but she can't see. Pandora isn't there she's somewhere else somewhere darker. There are still hands on her, she is still screaming.
"Shh, now Princess it's gonna be ok."
"We use this sometimes when it's bad."
There is the all too familiar pin prick in her arm, then the fight is gone and the panic is gone, and she's slipping forward into Negan's waiting arms.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry… I'm sor…." She doesn't get the last one out before she slips into the darkness.
Pandora dreams hard, dreams of the line up, of kneeling in the dirt listening to Maggie scream. Now all she hears is Maggie screaming, the sound of her calling for her dead husband fills her head.
She sees nothing else, to her left and to her right is empty. The darkness is heavy her pressing down around her. It blocks out all light leaving her staring into nothing. She hears them though her group, a tangled mixed of screaming, crying and Daryl shouting for Negan not to touch her.
It different this time kneeling in the dirt Negan appears. A light behind him outlines his frame as he reaches out to touch her face. His voice is soft reassuring. He whispers to her, telling her to breath. This isn't the Negan she knows, this is a different man. The Negan in her dreams smiles at her whisper sweet things to her, telling her it will be ok.
Leaning down in the dirt he touches her face, cupping her gently. "I take care of you remember Princess?"
Negan is gone disappearing like smoke away into the darkness. Pandora is alone now leaning down and presses her forehead to the cold damp earth to cry.
Sunlight cuts through the glass of the window, bright shafts cutting into her closed lids. She tightens her eyes shut again and counts to ten before opening them. Pandora is laying across the front seat of the truck she came in. Laying on her side she stretches her fingers out, feeling the warmed leather under her. She can't see through the windows laying like this, only able to look at the back to the leather seats she faces.
The window must be open, a breeze tickled he hair on the back of her neck and carries a muffled conversation in it.
"Ah wanted to ask now that you know we can follow the rules,"
"Yes?"
"Id like to ask if Daryl and Pandora can stay."
"Not happening, especially not with the Princess. But maybe Daryl can plead his case, maybe Daryl can sway me."
At sound of Daryl's name, she feels a tug in her chest. An invisible string she pictures being attached to them both pulls her upwards. Her body moves slow, the world swims in her vision as she pulls her head up. Only when she presses her forehead to the cold glass does the world stop spinning. In the glass she catches her own reflection brown eyes searching for Daryl. She finds him standing silent behind Negan, almost too fast for her to see his gaze flicks up to her then it's back on the ground.
"Daryl?" There is a pause followed by Negan laughing to himself. "Well you tried. I think him and the Princess are a package deal here Rick."
Pandora shuts her eyes then screwing them tight against the tears collecting behind her lids. She would do the same thing she tells herself, she would not leave him given the option. Negan would never ask her though. If he did, she would stay with Negan, stay to make sure Daryl is ok.
It is a losing battle against the tears they stream down her face in wet tracks. Outside movement floats towards her, but the urge to watch is gone replaced by a gaping sense of loss. It aches, it makes her want to curl back into herself and waste away. Whatever drugs he gave her are still swimming in her veins, they allow her to waste so much time in what feels like the blink of a second.
The next sound she hears is a light tap in the window where her head is still resting. Her eyes flicker open to come face to face with Negan grinning at her.
"Watch out there Princess."
Her eyes track his movements, Negan doesn't open the door she leaning on instead he goes around to the other side. Opening the driver side door he slides inside the truck leaving only inches of space between them. Pandora's body doesn't react to him, no tightness of muscles no turning in her stomach. She guesses somewhere drugs are still swimming in her veins.
Someone else slides into the driver's seat and they are off. Despite herself Pandora turns her gaze to the window again and watching Rick as they drive off. He catches her gaze for only a second and something twists in his face, it's too broken and she needs to look away not ready to see that.
Hands move some heavy strands of hair from her face. Pandora turns her head to the side, Negan curls a strand of hair in his fingers.
"You were good today Princess." Negan mutters letting the hair drop from his fingers. He moves his hand then letting it come to rest on her thigh. "I know it was hard for you and you behaved so well."
She doesn't answer can seem to think past his hand resting on her leg. Head snapping down she fixates on where he is touching her. She doesn't move though knows that she needs to be good to stay out of the box. There is still a haze in the around her as if she is watching the world through a thin film.
"Maybe I'll let you have a treat tomorrow. What do you think?"
There is a moment of silence and his hands squeezes her tight lightly. That brings her back to the present moment keeps her from floating too far away.
"That would be nice." Pandora whispered. Her eyes stayed down cast refusing to rise to meet him.
"I'm proud of you Princess, you've learned so well."
He's stops then spending the rest of the ride in silence.