The sun changes positions as she sits. Floating higher and higher into the sky. Without clouds as a cover it's rays beat down on the small exposed patch of skin on the back of her neck. Pandora watches the sky, head back as far as comfortable to soak up every little bit of the warmth. She never looks under her, but she hears the hustle and bustle of movement down there. There is a breeze today, it picks up the loose hairs on her head and moves them.
She misses being outside, misses being surrounded by grass and trees. This place is cold. All the ground covered in concrete, only things growing are food. Alexandria had flowers, and trees. Little gardens in front of homes. The sanctuary is too cold, too much like the man who runs it.
When the door eventually opens on Pandora's little balcony, her body is stiff from sitting for so long. It's not as warm as it used to be, sun slipping down the sky. She could come inside now she thinks. Curl up somewhere warm and sleep the rest of the day away.
"There you are Princess, I've been worried about you."
Negan stands in the open door way, sunlight bouncing off his leather jacket. He sounds worried. So much so that Pandora snaps her head up to look at him to check. He stands there stock still watching her hands up and open.
"Come on in Princess." Nega smiles at her putting one foot on the metal railing, it groans under his weight. "I don't trust this thing to hold me up."
Pandora sighs counting to five in her head, the seconds help. A breath of time to by the time she gets to five the panic is less and she stands hand gripping the meal railing. As if to prove him right the metal under her groans in the protest. In three steps she is back inside stepping right into Negan's open arms.
She can't say why she does it, why she goes to him right than. But it feels right, feels like the thing she is meant to do than. He saves her, he always saves her. They don't talk for a few moments only stand there in the open doorway. He has his arms held loss around her shoulders, an awkward hug. His fingers aren't still thought, they rub her shoulder blades in small deliberate circles.
"There you go Princess, come on inside." He tightens his arms around her before pulling her further into the hallway. She shuts her eyes, around her she hears other bodies, footsteps ruffling of clothes.
'Keep your eyes closed' she tells herself, it easier that way. Easier to pretend Negan is someone else. Pandora pretends it Daryl leading her back inside.
Negan moves down the hallway with her at his side, he talks to her. Pandora can't make out the words but the rumbling in her chest are soothing. Somewhere in her head she knows this is wrong, knows this man is a monster. But she's tired, and Daryl is gone, and Negan keeps her safe. It's enough for now.
He doesn't take her back to her own room, instead she finds herself laying down in a massive black bed. The room is on the small side, bed taking up more than half of the space. Negan is talking again, but she isn't listening. Instead stays curled up in the soft black bed.
"Unless this fucking place is on fire do not bother me."
That's the last thing she hears before she is slipping away. Then she is waking up, joints and muscles stiff. Rubbing her eyes Pandora takes a few deep breaths. She doesn't remember getting into the bed, remembers nothing past stepping into the room. But here she is stiff and groggy from deep sleep. There is a window to her left, outside the sun is setting in an almost clear sky. She doesn't sit upright away no instead she curls in herself more, becoming a tiny pop of colour against the black sheets.
The door opens then, a slow groaning sounds from behind her. That wakes her up more, makes her blink a few times. Her left hand lays flat on the bed fingers spreading out over the blankets. Its soft.
"Put it down there." It Negan she hears from behind her. His voice it pitched low, quiet and careful. There is the sound of footsteps, plates against wood and then the door again.
In front of here there is one dirty window pain. The small squares of glass have been painted over with a grey paint. She had seen it before in other places in the warehouse, windows like this one. She can't see the outside, doesn't know what side of the building this room faces. There are heavy curtain over the windows, blocking out the sun.
Negan steps in her line of sight, blocking out her view.
"Come and eat, Princess." He reaches for her holds out a hand to pull her up. There is a small sitting area in the next room with two chairs and a small table between them. The table is full with two steaming bowls.
Pandora let's him pull her up from the bed, the moment he sit her up he let's her go. Her knees come up to her chest right again giveing her chin something to rest on. She doesn't want to eat. But the food smells good and she knows what happens when she doesn't eat. So she drags herself up to the high backed plush chair.
Negan moves to sit to her right, a bowl already in his hands. Pandora takes one from the small table. It's a thick stew, chunks of beef and vegetables. The first spoon goes down easy but sits at the bottom of her stomach unmoving.
She stalls then toying with the spoon in the bowl twirling the meat in the liquid. Her body is different. She feels it, too weak still. Recovering from her time in the box. She has a urge to be strong again like before in Alexandria where she would run all morning. Looping around the street until she was sure she was going to die.
"You don't like it?" Negan's voice interrupts her hacking apart a potato in the bowl.
"No it's good," she mutters another spoonful in her mouth. It sinks down into her stomach too.
She finds it easy to sit here with him though. Despite the fact that he shoved the Doctor in a roaring fire. It should scare her. Sure part of her was scared of him, well maybe not him. It was hard to think about, she's scared of the box and she guesses him because Negan puts her in the box. But here she isn't scared of him, she is learning more about him she trusts he won't hurt her.
Most of the time it's fine, she's not scared. Because she knows what to do , which is whatever she's told. That makes Negan happy, keeps him from getting mad. Which keeps her out of the box. This differs from the wolves, she needs to be a good girl here to survive. Pandora puts another spoonful of stew into her mouth. It is really good, and her body remembers it's hungry. Three quick spoonfuls and the bowl is empty, she returns it to the table.
Pandora watches Negan get up and head for the wooden door to the right of her. When he comes back she notices he took the dishes with him, and returned with two mugs a bottle of wine and a little pill bottle. He hands and bottle to her and she take it, opening the lid and popping one out.
"Here" Negan presses a mug full of red wine into her hands. Popping the pill into her mouth she takes it with a gulp of the wine.
"Drugs and alcohol how classy." Pandora lans back feeling the tension leaking from her muscles already. It's been a few days without drugs and now they hit her hard. She already feels herself relaxing against the chair, relaxing with him.
"Well you know me Princess." Negan laughs leaning back in the chair. He drowns the constense of his mug, and is then refilling it along with her own. "What did you do before in Alexandria? You kill the dead fuckers? Find shit for your people?"
Pandora blinks staring at him, then dropping her eyes down into her lap. There is a few seconds of silence before she speaks. She didn't do anything, but try and live. She wasn't useful maybe one of the least useful people there. What would you call what she did? Learning to be human again.
"I trained, went to therapy." She stops remember the runs she went on with Daryl and Rick. "I had been going on runs before…"
"Before what?"
"Before Dwight killed my friend."
There is silence then. Pandora tightens her hands into fists, feeling her nail bite into the flesh of her palm. She stopped going out after that, after she watched Denise die.
"Got a little rough there with my Dwighty boy."
"He almost killed me."
"I know."
Pandora takes another long sip of her wine, licking the last drops off her lips. That day flashes in her eyes. Watching Denise fall to the ground, Daryl struggling to hold her up as she died. Pandora shivered remember the arrow in her shoulder, the rage she had felt, how almost dying had felt. The memories are almost enough to swallow her up, pull her under. But the wine is a sweet anchor to the world and Negan speaks.
"What were you training in?" Negan askes leaning closer to her, his elbows resting on his knees. Sometimes she doesn't understand him, he looks at her like this sometimes with genuine interest. Like he really cares about her, wants to know her.
"Hand to hand combat. To make sure…" Hot breath in her face, fingers on the inside of her tights. A sharp shake of her head and the images are gone. "To make sure no one can ever touch me again."
Negan makes some kind of noise in his throat. Pandora glances up at him to find him nodding slowly, fingers stroking his shaved chin.
"I have someone who can help you with that Princess." He flashes her one of his devilish grins, the kind that makes her stomach twist. " How would you like that?"
" That would be nice of you."
"Always so fucking polite to me Princess I love it."
Pandora flexes her fingers again feels them biting into flesh. Although she doesn't need that anymore, not thanks to the wine and little white pill. No, now she feels relaxed. A calm settling over her like a blanket. Tilting her head to the side she looks at him.
"Do you miss him?" Negan asks.
"Yes." The answer is quite rolling off her tongue like it was desperate to get out. Her blood begin to roil for him, calls out into the world for Daryl like he is a part of her. He is really, he is her anchor. Daryl isn't here though, he's gone somewhere safe somewhere far from here with his family.
"I'll bring him back for you Princess." Negan is so confident in that statement a grin spreading across his face.
Pandora looks up at him, eyebrows shooting up so high they are almost touching her hair line. "If he comes back here it won't be as your prisoner, it will be to burn this place to the ground."
Negan stares at her for a second, then explodes into laughter. Great belly shaking laughter, that fills the room. He thinks its funny, thinks the rage that Daryl will come back to this place with is something to laugh at. Negan doesn't know hasn't seen that darkness they both share. Daryl will come back here all rage and fire to bring everything down.
"I have a feeling you're not wrong." He says finally finished laughing. Shaking his head his rubs his chin again. "I have you though. That's gonna be how I catch him Princess. When he comes for you."
That makes her stomach twist painfully. He would come for her first that's true. Get her out then burn this whole place down. She is the bait for the trap Negan would spring. It strikes her then that she would do what he says, even if it meant Daryl was captured again she would do it. What did that even make her, more Negan's pet than anything else.
Negan takes another sip of his wine and offers the bottle out to her again. She holds out her own cup for him to fill, distracted.
"This should be our new thing Princess. A glass of wine and chat in the evening." he smiled at her tilting his head to the side. " I like your company."
They falls into silence then, Pandora nurses the wine left in her mug. Sometimes she doesn't understand him, he is almost too mad for her to understand. Isn't that a joke, too mad for her. When she isn't even a full person, more like a shell little bit of herself littered in the all places she had ever been.
"How did he our boy Daryl find you anyway." His thumb is stroking his mug as he watches her.
Tree bark on her back, feet catching the roots as she is dragged sobbing away. Finally too broken to be their toy. She can almost feel the ropes on her wrists, the tightening of them around the truck.
"When the wolves are finished with you they leave they you tied to a tree for the dead. That's when he found me." The whole thing comes out in a long whispered breath. She knows Negan heard her though, because she can feel the weight of his eyes on her.
"Are they still out there?"
Pandora shifts tucks her knees under her sinking further into the plush chair. Her muscles melt into the cushions. The pills make this feel easy, making talking about this too easy. Like its not her, like she isn't talking about the events that changed her life forever. She never did see all their bodies, the wolves but she knew they were gone. Wiped off this planet like dust, their only lasting impact seen in her.
"No," a quick shake off her head. "They tried to take our home, my people killed them."
"Where were you?" Negan is filling his cup again. Than reaching out for her own cup.
She's light headed, limbs feelings tired and heavy. There is a image she has of herself being so relaxed she sinks into the cushions disappears right in front of him. That would be funny, to turn into a pile of mush right here, melt away into the cracks in the walls and the floors. She doesn't like to think about these things usually, but she drunk and high on whatever the little white pill was. So everything is easy, talking about it it easy, but remember is easy too. With every question she is right there back in that moment. Right now she is in the burnt woods, waking up with her wrist bound together.
"Pandora? Where were you."
His voice snaps her out of the moment, shatters the memories before her eyes like glass. He asks almost like he knows the answer, which can't be.
"I was running from your men with Dwight."
Negan stares at her, she can watch the wheels turning in his head forming his answer. There isn't an opportunity for him to respond. Whatever he was going to say was interrupted by a sharp knock on the door.
"What the fuck did I say." The sentence is slow long and drawn out.
She tilts her head to watch him go for the door, she hears him walking further than another door opens.
"What?" Negan growls out the question.
"Sorry Negan I know what you said. But but there's been a situation. Someone got in here kill some of our guys."
There is some silence, "Get the fuck in here tell me what happened."
Pandora is worried, there is something deep in her gut that is screaming at her. So she lets her feet drop to the ground feeling it solid under her. Hands gripping the sides of the arm chair she pulls herself up, the room dips and pitches to the side but she stays standing.
Her mind goes somewhere else to a darker place when she thing about someone here killing Negan's men. There is a part of her that wonders if it's the wolves, come back to take down another community. Her fear while misplaced as it might be is almost consuming her.
Her feet take her forward hands reaching for the frame of the door to the next room. She is to drunk for this walking business. It had been easier to be sitting, she didn't notice how drunk she was than.
The room she steps into is a living room of sorts. There are no windows here only unmark grey walls. Negan sits on a plush brown sofa, one leg crossed over the other. He looks angry rage simmering on his features. A man sits in the chair across from him hunched over, elbows on his knees.
"Negan?" Her voice is low, but he hears it head snapping up to meet her gaze.
In seconds he is moving for her hands on her elbows to keep her standing. She hadn't noticed she was leaning on the door frame. Now with Negan leading her back to the sofa she realizes how unsteady she feels on her feet.
Negan sits her down, sitting next to her. Her body responds to his warmth, she curls into him tucking her toes under his leg. Negan shifts to make her more comfortable.
"What happened?" Pandora whispers leaning into his side.
"Hush now Princess, it's ok. I promise."
Pandora huffs a sigh, but she doesn't really have it in her to question more questions. So she waits and listens. She relax against him, the wine swimming in her blood making everything too light.
"Keep going." Negan flicks his fingers at the other man. Pandora blinks looking up at the man sitting in front of her. Negan shifts looping on arm around her shoulders pulling her a little bit tighter. She thinks of resisting, thinks of pushing him away. But she is tired and he's warm and it's almost like he cares about her. Almost is close enough right now.
"Keep fucking talking and don't stare at her."
"Like I said I have guys checking the fence we think that's how she got in. We have her in a cells right now. Letting her sit on it."
Pandora tilts her head to the side watching, listening. Someone has gotten in here. Someone has gone through their fences and come into the compound. Men had died. Beside her Negan shakes his head.
"Come one now Princess, time for bed." Negan stands taking her with him. She is weightless in her arms it takes nothing for him to take her back to the bedroom. This time he pulls the black sheets open lowing her down he covers her again. "You stay here tonight."
He leans over her lips brushing her forehead lightly. It's just a feather light touch, but she shivers feels warmth spreading from the site. Pandora sighs pulling the comforter lose against her.
Her eyes are closed now the darkness welcome. She can still hear Negan in the room, his footsteps move away from her.
"No one comes in or out of this room until I get back."