The rooftop greenhouse is hot, walls and roof of glass doing their job to keep the heat trapped. Pandora sits with her legs tucked under her on one of the plush sofas. The sun shifts above her head, one ray cutting right into her eye. Shutting them she drapes her arm over her face for extra protection.

She was unguarded up here Dave had left the moment they arrived. He had mumbled something about telling Negan where they were. She hadn't given him much of and answer, just a shrug of her shoulders before walking away.

It's easier to think up here, alone away from Negan. There is a war inside her head and around him she can't hear, can't make sense of which side is winning. But here, she can think, can look at herself and know this isn't right. It is easy though. How is the right thing not also is the easy thing? In the beginning she was nothing but rage and violence. Negan had worn her down, over the span of days he had broken her.

They had spent the night together sleeping in the same bed; she had felt safe enough to sleep. Her fingers reach for her hair, tugging her way through the knots she finds. It's a sweet sharp little pain that brings her back to this moment. She shouldn't be surprised that this was how she ended up, she was hardly a whole person before Negan took her. If he had taken anyone else, it would have been different if it had been Rosita of Michonne they would have been fighting even now.

Pandora had been bent and broken. Reshapen to become such a good girl.

"Negan said you didn't eat." The voice is an unwelcome interruption to her thoughts. Pandora tries and fails to hide how she jumps at the sound. Between her and door there is a woman, holding a steaming bowl. The women is tall and thin, her hair is almost hidden under a bandana but a few tight curls peek out. "Names Arat we're going to be training I guess. Hand to hand."

Pandora's brain struggles for a second. Then she remembers that night when she told him she had been learning how to fight for herself. How fighting seems to keep her ever present demons at bay for a time.

"You have to eat first." The woman comes toward her when she is close enough she hands her the bowl.

"Ok, thank you" The spoon is in her hand, and in the bowl is a mix of veggies and eggs.

"I heard about you. Heard you lost your shit and killed some of my guys."

Spooning eggs into her mouth she shrugs her shoulders, "Probably."

She had come so far in her time here, not since the beginning has she killed any of the people here. There is an order now, and she knows it. The men she had hurt had tried to hurt her first anyway, they should have known better.

Arat rolls her head and the joints crack. "How the fuck did this happen." Arat glares at her shaking her head.

"I can ask for someone else." Pandora can't see how spending any time with this foul woman is going be helpful.

"Just fucking eat." Arat tells her, face softening.

The empty bowl is left on the table as Pandora stands to follow Arat back inside.

"There's a room to work out inside."

From the roof they walk down two flights of stairs all the way down the hall to the end of the sanctuary. The halls are more packed here, and Pandora recognizes these are the men and women of Negan's army.

Arat opens a door to their right, it looks just like a gym. The floor is covered in soft padding, they remind her of the mats in the gyms she used to work out in. There are two rows of free weights, benches set up around to use. They even have a few stationary bikes in the corner. The rest of the space is empty with a thicker padding on the floor.

There is always a certain level of absurdity here. The things that she finds housed inside these walls make this place seem unreal to her at times. Where would anyone even find stationary workout bikes. Who took the time to create this room in the middle of all of this shit.

Arat is already stretching when Pandora had finished looking at the room. Pandora did the same trying her best to stretch the way she used too. Her body isn't the same anymore it didn't move how she remembers it. Now everything is stiff and slower, her body protests when it moves and turns a certain way.

"Are you ready?"

Pandora knobs and steadies herself.

Arat and Rosita are very different. Rosita is harsh, but it comes from a place of love. Arat is all shouting and swearing, training seems like a burden to her. Arat doesn't wait for Pandora to catch her breath, or get up, she keeps coming. She hits her too like she means it, not tempering her strength at all.

An hour later Pandora is laying on the floor, lungs struggling to fill. Everything hurts, her right side pounds steadily. She can picture the bruise darkening on her skin as she lays there. Her head is pounding from an elbow to the temple she did not dodge in time. She has let herself slip too far away, her body isn't being taken care of.

"I don't think the point was to kill me." Pandora hisses through her clenched teeth. She curls into a ball trying to stretch her back as much as possible.

"She speaks!" Arat is shaking her head her laugher ringing out harsh. Arat is pulling off her bandana pulling her hair into a tight bun on the top of her head.

Pandora only rolls her eyes and stands, the movement has her muscles screaming. Arat isn't lying Pandora had hardly said three words the entire time. She had put everything she had into getting her body moving there was no time to talk or even think about talking. It was a good feeling not thinking about anything.

"If I wanted you dead, you would be dead." Arat has a water bottle she is holding out to Pandora now. Pandora has her own empty in only seconds.

"I'll come back for you tomorrow."

"Wait!"

Arat hasn't even gotten to the door when Pandora calls her to stop. A tendril of panic creeping up her spine.

"I don't remember my way back."

Arat stops turning, "Really?"

"It's a big place." A sense of shame curls in her gut when she speaks than. She never felt a need to pay attention, no one was letting her wander around, anyway.

"Oh fuck let's go than." Arat holds the door open and jerks her head to the hallway.

Pandora steps up behind her following close, the halls are more full this time. Men and women moved around the halls ways, they all have guns. Arat is a professional at moving between the bodies, Pandora bumps into more people than she misses.

They go down two more flights of stairs than to the left and the left again until she is standing in front of Dave. Whos is a silent figure holding her door open, trade one protector for another.

"See you tomorrow Pandora."

Pandora only nobs slipping into her room and shutting the door. Flicking on the light she stands frozen for a moment. Someone had been here, here in her room, while she was gone. Her bed had been changed, the white sheets replaced with all black bedding. It looks just like Negan's bed, she thinks stepping towards it.

Her mind wanders back that this morning as she strips. Pandora leaves her pants, shirt, tank top and sports bra on the floor. Half dressed in a t-shirt and sweats she slips under the bed than pulling the blankets over her. The silk is cold and slippery on her skin, and before she knows it she's sleeping.

When she dreams something is different. She's in the line up like always, but the men are different. The wolves stand around her, weapons in hand. A man she remembers is standing above her with the bat. This time Negan is in front of her, arms around her hiding her in his chest.

"It's ok I got you Princess."

He has her, his arms around her block out the world, narrowing her view to nothing but his chest. She can hardly even hear the bat with him holding her like that.

"I keep you safe Princess."

That is the truth, one thing she can always count on is that he takes care of her. Negan has never hurt her, the box that had been her own fault. She had made him too that to her, a mistake she would not make again.

The real world finds her only a few hours later, skin covered in a second layer of sweat. It smells sick, maybe she needs to see the new doctor. The cloths she had been wearing smell, stiff from the sweating she had done in her sleep. Her dreams might have been more like nightmares but she had woken up and not been screaming, it had been a while since that happened.

Her muscles are tight and sore, she knows better than the sleep after a workout.

"Too late for that now." She mutters to herself heading for the bathroom. Turning on the shower she cranks it as hot as if goes, peeling off her clothes as steam fills the room. The water isn't as hot here as it was in Alexandria, but it's enough. The bathroom was her favourite place, the water gave her a deep sense of calm. There had been a time where she turned into a sobbing mess in the shower.

The water used to feel like millions of tiny hands, fingers spreading all over her skin. Now this was one of her places she felt completely calm. In the warm shower the water grounds her, reminds her to feel her body. Funny how things happen.

The drawers in her room as always filled with fresh clean clothes. Everything she has looks new, she dressed in dark wash jeans, and an oversized white sweater. In the early days her closet had looks more like Negan's wives, she had rebelled wearing layer upon layer. Now she is better taken care of, with clothes that match her style.

Cabinets under the sink is stocked with hygiene products. Lotions, soaps, hair products anything she might need. Today she uses everything Negan had given her. She uses the lotions and lovingly coats each of her curls in product. The absurdity of this moment is not lost on her though. That she can be here, in a bathroom with running water styling her hair.

In her main room her stomach does a twist, which reminds her she can't quite remember the last time she had something to eat. There is a box of mac and cheese in her kitchen, it seems easy enough. Now she does have to read the instructions with care, housekeeping was not her strong point. She never cooked in Alexandria either, Carol would feed them or Daryl.

"Add milk." Pandora reads draining the water from the pot of cooked pasta. "Fuck I don't have milk." Her fridge indeed has no milk in it. There had been a cow here before, it might have been eaten by the dead. She goes with water, her only real option.

When it's finished, she is too hungry to clean the kitchen first. Instead she leaves everything out and takes her bowl to the little table. From her chair she can still see outside, she can't see the people on the group but she can see the area around the Sanctuary.

Her view stretches out for miles, her room isn't on the top floor but she is at least six or seven levels up. She can see beyond the fence and the road

Half way through the bowl there is a knock on the door. For a second her brain trips on itself trying to think of who would knock. She had seen Negan this morning, and he doesn't knock. Sherry the only of his wives who seemed to care about her was gone.

A second knock rings out this one louder as if maybe she didn't hear the first one.

"Come in." A few more bites of mac and cheese and the mouth and the bowl is empty.

When the door finally opens to Rob standing there, another man at his side. Pandora is frozen at the sink her hands holding a plate.

"New Doctors here to see you Princess."

"I'm Doctor Carson!"

Pandora ignores him for a second her eyes shooting to Rob. They have a whole silent conversation in those seconds, can she trust this man. Rob holds her gaze for a second then nods slowly. He stands at the open door

"I remember you. Your people were with Jesus when he saved us." Dr. Carson tries to smile but there is something in his face he seems to be trying to hide.

"They are not my people anymore."

Her tone is final, ending whatever else he might have said. She does remember him. That day Jesus was taking them to the Hilltop, she had been hiding in the bathroom of the RV. They had come across a ruined car, but they had found everyone and gotten them home safe.

"Wait." Moving to the chair at the table again she watches him tilting her head to the side just an inch. "Dr. Carson?" There had been another Doctor by that name, he had died screaming.

"The last Doctor was my brother." There is no sound of emotion in voice, a tone he might use reading medical facts.

"I'm sorry." It's a wonder to have living family these days with the world upside down. To have someone taken from you, even when it needed to happen must have been hard.

Carson nods a movement she might have missed if she wasn't watching him so closely.

"I'm looking over his patients now, so I wanted to check in on you." In his hands is a notebook she didn't notice until then, it must be about the people he is looking after now. Of course she would be in that book. "How have you been feeling these days?"

"I'm doing good."

Doctor Carson opens the books, flips to about the middle than look at her again. "There are quite a few medications listed here do you take all of them?"

Pandora gets up from her chair and heads to her night stand. She keeps all the pills here, save for maybe a bottle Negan might have in his room.

"I take them when Negan tells me I need them." She carries the pills back him four little bottles in total. There is one that it almost full she checks the label, Imovane.

"You don't take this one?" Dr. Carson asks pointing to the full bottle.

"No, I don't like it." She holds it out to him, sure there are other people who might need it more.

Shaking his head he makes no move to take it from her. "I'll have to check with Negan, for now let me see your wounds."

Pandora is a good patient, so she strips off her sweater, her arms are painted with a few smattering of different coloured bruising.

Dr. Carson leaves his book on the table and gets up to examine her. "May I?" He wants to lift her shirt to see the knife wounds that he must know about.

As much as she would rather skip this part she nods, allowing him to lift her shirt and look.

"The bruising?" He asks trying his keep his tone light.

She knows what he thinks, he must assume that Negan has done it.

"I've been training, hand to hand." It sounds like an excuse, much like falling down the stairs a reason an abused women might give for her bruising. "Negan would never let anyone hurt me."

Dr. Carson nods at her, "Thank you. You can put your sweater back on." He moved back to the other chair in the kitchen. "Well Pandora I'm concerned about you doing hand to hand right now. You are almost dangerously underweight."

Pandora shakes her heads, "I won't stop training."

"I wouldn't ask you too, but I need you to bring your weight up." He stands pushing his chair in. "Come and see me next week ok?"

"Ok."

He's gone than shutting the door behind him, the empty room doesn't last for long soon Rob is opening the door again poking his head inside.

"All good?"

Pandora is still sitting at the table pulling her shirt down over head. "Yes."

Rob nods slowly, "I'm out here for another hour than another guy is coming to stand here ok?"

Pandora only nods, he closes the door. She heads for the stove getting another bowl of the mac and cheese. She isn't full, and she isn't hungry but she will not allow her training to be taken from her when she has just started.

With the kitchen clean and Pandora feeling overly full she takes the book she has been trying to read all week to the high-backed chairs at the window. The second she sits down it's not where she wants to be sitting. It's too stiff, and she is too full.

Instead she piles her pillows against the headboard of her bed and settles down into them. For the first time since she had gotten here she gets lost in the book, like she used to. Hours pass and she finishes chapter after chapter.

The sun shifts in the sky dipping below the building to disappear behind the clouds, casting long shadows across the floor. She doesn't move often only to reach over and flick on the lamp when it begins to get too dark to see the pages.

When she reached the last few pages the door opens, she doesn't even need to look up she knows it's him.

"Hey there Princess."

Not raising her eyes she holds up her hand to silence him. There is a huff of breath from the other room, and for a second her heart trips over itself thinking she must have gone too far. Negan laughs though, and she sinks back into the page sounds sliding away again. The last page is beautiful and she sits for a moment taking it in, before leaving the book on the side table.

"What book? Good read?" Negan is sitting at the little kitchen table, legs stretched out in front of him crossed at the ankles.

"It's called Brain on Fire, it was really good." She leaves the comfort of her little pillow fort to join him at the table.

He brought her dinner, two bowls of steaming gnocchini covered in a rich red meat sauce. The words of the Doctor echo in her head when she starts eating. It's like a hug from the inside, a warm feeling that spreads from her stomach outward.

"This is amazing." She speaks when she finally takes a break from shoving the food in the mouth. A curl has fallen forward, long enough it almost touches the bowl. Tucking it behind her ear she can feel his eyes on him when she looks up.

When she looks up Negan is watching her, a smile curling the edges of his mouth. There is a flash of heat in her chest, it spreads colouring the skin of her face.

"Oh Princess you are something else." He shakes his head setting the fork down in his own empty bowl. "Heard you had a busy day huh?"

"Arat is trying to kill me," Pandora mumbles into her fork as she chews. "The new Doctor is nice, I meet him today."

"Is that so?" Negan leans back in the chair, arom crossing over his chest. "Maybe Arat is getting you back in shape."

Negan is right, but Pandora still rolls her eyes and gets up. She goes to sit in the high backed chair at the window, tucking her legs under her she sinks in. Behind her there is the sound of a chair on the floor, than again.

Negan sets the wine bottle and two glasses on the small round table between them. Than he is gone, and there is more sound this time by her bed. When he comes back he is covering her with a heavy knit blanket from the bed. Leaning in he tucks it in on the sides, breath ghosting her face as her eyes flutter closed.

"Wouldn't want you to get cold." He days as he settles down in how own chair.

"Thank you." She whispers as she shifts under the blanket.

This man confuses her, his mood turns on a dime and she can never be sure of the direction. He is sweet with her, she knows that. He hasn't been mad at her since the box, she had been so good.

Her eyes are locked to him as he lowers himself into the opposite chair. The wine it already open, her pours them both a tall glass.

They drink together in silence for some time. Pandora lets the first glass swim in her veins, just watching him. Time passes and the hard lines on his face begin melting away. He's watching the sky, he is not seeing his through his eyes are miles away.

She tried to have another drink, but her glass is already empty. Reaching for the bottle she sees Negan;s is too.

"More?" She asks shaking the bottle in her hands. Negan doesn't answer, reaching out she places a hand on his mar. "Negan?"

He jumps startled his eyes flicker down to her hand resting on his arm.

"Sorry? What did you say Princess?" His free hand moved to cover hers, a solid weight. There has always been something about pressure that she finds calming.

She is shocked into silence for only a second before she asks, "More wine?" She can finally ask feeling the muscles on her arm relax.

"Ya please." He holds out his glass for her to fill. She watches him enough to know he likes it full almost to the rim. When she puts the bottle back on the table, slipping her hand out from under him she wrapped them around her mug.

"How do you have all this alcohol anyway." It has been something she has been wondering. Do people here make it? Do they find it?

Negan laughs sipping from the glass slowly. "People here make it, and I'm the boss so I get all the best shit. It's the least they can do I save everyone here."

Pandora only nods returning her gaze to her own cup. It is great wine, she has to admit. It's rich and dark, the flavor of chocolate coating her tongue. She was never a wine drinker, never much of a drinker period. Gymnastics was her life, between that and school it didn't leave room for much else.

"I'm trying to save Rick the prick too, but he's so damn stubborn."

Pandora blinks setting the glass back in her lap, "He doesn't understand. I tried to tell him to explain how easy it is. How much better."

"You think it's better this way for you?"

"Of course." Her answer has no hesitation no hitch or catch in her voice when she speaks it. This should alarm her, but it doesn't she doesn't feel anything.

"Interesting."

"Rick will come here soon you know." The wine is making her bold, or maybe she just is bold with him. There isn't a way to be sure.

"Oh I'm counting on it."