The night stretches out before them; they talk for hours. She's curled up in the big chair, blanket still over her looking at the stars. In the darkness she tells him about before, not before she came here but before everything. Before the world went crazy, and the dead started walking when she lived and breathed the gym.
Pandora told him about going to Brazil, how alive she felt there listening to them cheer for her. Fans had followed her from America, she could seem them beaming at her from the stands. After she would wait and they would line up to meet her, some holding posters, other notebooks. She had worked so fucking hard to get here; she took in every moment enjoyed the fame. It was so easy to get lost in her memories, and he was such a good listener.
Negan doesn't take his eyes off her as she speaks. He sinks deeper into his chair watching her sometimes from over the rim of his glass. Negan talks too, tells her about his life before the end of the world. He was a high school gym teacher; he loved those damned kids like his own. He just wanted all of them to like him. He mentions a wife but doesn't say name or anything else just that she had died before all of this.
It's so easy to talk to him now, she lays everything out. She tells him how much Rick hated her at first, thought she was useless didn't understand why Daryl saved her.
"He thought I was useless." She tells Negan remembering how he had sneered at her. "He was right until I helped save that place. Then he said I was home."
"Did it feel like home?" Negan takes the glass from her hand, he always finds a way to get under her skin.
"Daryl felt like home."
There is a heavy silence between them than where they both just sit and watch each other. Negan is studying her, she is doing the same to him.
Sometimes she wonders if anyone else sees this side of him. The softer side, the reason behind what seems like his madness. There is an understanding between them somehow, Pandora can follow the path of his actions and understand the why. He wants to save people.
"You wish you could have saved your old students."
Negan looks at her, eyes darkening with emotion before he looks away. "I do Princess. This world is shit, the choices we make are hard I need to be the one to make the hard choices for everyone. I'm the only one who can do it."
He doesn't speak again only fills his own glass and her own glass. The drink a little longer in the darkness.
"You make the hard choices for me."
"I do don't I princess. Is it working for you?"
"Yes. Daryl made choices for me too when it got too hard. Sometimes I didn't like them,"
"But you like the choices I make?"
"I'm alive aren I? If I didn't I wouldn't be."
"Princess that is some dark shit."
Pandora can only shrug but the words keep coming, "Here I don't have to fight, you keep me safe you take care of me, you keep the monsters away."
Negan is watching her with an intensity that usually makes her uncomfortable, but now she stares right back unblinking.
"You won't have to fight for shit when I'm here." His voice has a hard edge to it, an anger she cannot quite place.
"Are you mad at me?" Her drink is making her brain slow now, and logically his anger must be towards her there is no one else here.
"No Princess, I'm anger because this fucked up world got it hands on you and there was no one there to help. The men that hurt you are worse than animals."
"Oh." She falls into silence again head resting against the back of the big chair. Her body feels heavy now like the air itself is pushing her down, deeper into the seat. Silence has fallen in the room again this time they both seem content to let it hang there. That is until Pandora jerks her head back up, having fallen asleep for a second and let her head roll down.
Negan shatters the silence by standing. He stands before her lifting her from the chair, he tries his best not to jolt her frame. He pulls the blankets away from the bed, sitting her down on it. She slips her legs under the covers and pulls the rest over herself. The bed is so soft, in seconds she is slipping into unconsciousness.
"Sleep it off Princess."
Negan tightened his hand on her shoulder just for a second. Her muscles relax under his touch, but then he was gone. He shuts the door only the faint click of the latch shutting in his wake.
In the small hours of the morning Pandora wakes up screaming covered in sweat. Her chest feeling like it it filled with shards of glass, each breath driving the shards deeper. Outside the sky is lightening soon the rest of the world will wake up.
Shutting her eyes for another second the images of her nightmare play behind her closed lids. She had been dreaming about the night the wolves found her family. They had almost made it her and her sister, they were so damn fast. In a flash they had separated and Pandora could hear her screaming through the trees. Stumbling her foot caught on the root she falls, hands flying up to cover her face.
They are on her in seconds, hands hooked like claws ripping at her clothes and skin.
"Oh no you don't" Negan comes thundering through the trees, swinging lucille. He swings and swings around round them is nothing but bodies. She is sobbing when he lifts her up, curling in his chest to try and calm down.
"I've got you Pandora."
Her eyes snap open again, she had slipped into the nightmare. Coming out again with the sound of her door opening. In the opening there is the outline of a shadow, in the next moment it's gone.
"Hey there Princess." Negan is closing the distance between them in the darkness. His voice still holds the tint of sleep rough and unused. "Night guy heard you screaming bloody murder."
"I, I, I, I, I" She isn't calm enough to string a sentence together.
Negan takes one look at her and slips beside her on the bed. He pillows his head under his arm when he sits. The mattress dips under his weight and it brings her moving closer to him.
"Come'ere Princess." he jerks his head, it's almost invisible in the dark.
She moves closer though, tucking herself inside his warmth. His arm moves from under his hard to wrap around her. Within minutes her breathing is even, and she's asleep again.
Morning rays warm the exposed skin of her arms, which hang just over the jet black sheets. Somewhere in her head she remembers a body in her bed. Remembers Negan in her room in the darkness, talking to her until the nightmares were gone. When she rolls over though, the other side of the bed is empty.
When she opens her eyes the whole room is awash with morning light. Negan is standing in her kitchen. He is dressed in whatever he had gone to bed in, a dark grey pair of sweatpants and a white t-shirt.
Somehow she finds it insane that he is here that he spent the night with her. There is no denying the hulking figure in her tiny kitchen.
"Morning." She had been silent until now, he didn't hear her wake up. She is dressed still under the covers, a habit she had started since negan seems to come and go as he pleases. Everything she wears is twisted and creased. She wants to shower again but the smells coming from the kitchen are too tempting.
Heading for the kitchen she slips into the chair at the small table facing him. He is setting the plate down just as she sits, scrambled eggs, a sausage patty and a warm bun. They have bread here, there is enough time and ingredients for someone to make bread. It's unreal.
"Eat up Princess, you have a date with Arat and then we have a meeting to go."
The first bite goes down hot in her stomach and she takes a bite of the bread right away. It's heavenly to her, she can't help but feel sick at enjoying these little moments.
"What meeting?" She finally asks taking a bite of the apple. Her other hand it busy trying to get the tangles out of her curls. She ignores the part about Arat she isn't sure hand to hand with that woman is something she wants to keep doing.
"War meeting Princess, I want you there you have inside knowledge." Negan is getting up again, coming back with a black tea kettle in his hands. He pours two mugs full of amber liquid and hands her one. "No coffee but tea, next best thing I think."
She doesn't pick it up until she is finished with the plate of food. Then she wraps her hands around the mug and inhales deeply. It's a sweet black tea, the flavor sits heavy on the tongue. The caffeine hit her harder than usual, a light buzz makes it home in her veins.
"I always add a little honey, honey never goes bad."
This feels like small talk to her like common kitchen conversation, she is smiling about it. Before she even notices she can feel the tug on the corner of her lips.
"I didn't know that."
"Get dressed Princess, I'll be back in a few hours."
He takes the dishes with him, handing them off to someone she cannot see standing on the other side. She only waits a moment sitting at the table in silence for a second before she is moving too. There isn't time for a shower, so she washes her face and changes her clothes. In the bathroom she wets her hair until she can brush it into something more mangable.
In the bathroom she is a mess, bruising peeking out from under the collar of her sweater she put on. Her skin is missing most of the glow but some roundness is back now. She binds her hair into a braid letting it sit down the middle of back, easier to keep it out of her face.
Not ten minutes later there is a knocking on her door.
"Come in!" It must be Arat already when Negan says be somewhere you get there.
"Come one Princess round two."
The voice from outside the bathroom makes her tense for a second. There is a small part of her that hopes today will be on the lighter side, but she isn't sure with Arat. Her muscles are stiff this morning, still not as bad as she thought it would be. Her body had been through so much it still impressed her with its recovery time.
They go down to the gym together, Pandora isn't as worked up in the halls today. There is something about working her body that also helps the noise in her head. Their training is shorter today, and mercifully not as intense. Arat teaches her how to get out of different holds, a few times she almost panics when Arat jumps her. The other woman is taking her time today thought and when Pandora shifts Arat whispers, the instructions to get out and Pandora is free again.
"Same time tomorrow." Arat announced handing Pandora a water bottle.
Today she isn't curled into a ball on the floor instead she is resting her back against the wall. Legs straight out in front of her she had been reaching for her toes until Arat handed her the bottle. It's empty in a matter of seconds, and Pandora is standing.
"I have to go, I need a shower before the meeting."
Arat is shaking her curls loss from the bun she had them in watching her. "You're going to the meeting?"
Pandora only shrugs reaching down to the touch her toes, this produces a popping sounds along her spine with a blissful result. The other woman moved to the door opening in just slightly.
"Are you sleeping with him?" The question is tossed out with a small voice. Like it escaped, and she didn't mean to let it to.
Her body responds instantly with a stone stiffness. Is that what everyone here thinks? That she must be fucking him because why else? It would be easier to explain though wouldn't it, it she was sleeping with him. Instead she cannot really find the words for what they are, he is her caretaker? Her support system, her captor, or he was her capture and now well now it was different.
"No, that would be easy to explain."
The walk back to her room is spent in silence, Pandora slips into a pool of her own deep thoughts. Arat doesn't speak either, they fall into step silent. In her room the shower she takes is pure heaven it's hot enough to force the tension seeping from her muscles. She dressed again making sure she can cover all the darkening bruising flowering on her skin.
Back in her room she takes a bottle of pills from her night stand. These ones keep her calm keep her panic in check, they may everything easy. Sometimes she needs easy.
Negan doesn't knock just opens the door and smiles at her, "Come one Princess everyone is waiting."
This time she pays attention as they walk. He takes her down one flight of steps at the end of the hall, when they turn right there is a long empty stretch of wall, then a door. Negan opens the door which leads into a board room. The table is long sitting in the middle of the room it can seat 12 maybe 14 at it. All the chairs they have are full, save for one in at the head.
"Get her a chair." Negan jerks his head to the right of the chair he was going to sit in.
A man gets up Gavin, she thinks. He takes a chair from along the wall and pulls it up to the right of Negan. Without a word everyone in their chairs shifts down at the table.
Negan pulls the chair out for her, sitting he pushes her into the table. One hand rests on her shoulders giving it a tight squeeze before sitting down beside her.
There is a heavy tension in the room, she can almost taste it. It usually sets her nerves on edge, but the little white pill she took beforehand is working its magic. Negan had said he wanted her here for her inside information, but no one here seems to ask her anything so she zones out.
The boardroom had one wall full of windows, they are dirty and painted over but there is still light in the room. This conversation has nothing to do with her, she was never important enough to know the inner workings of his mind. There is an idea forming that maybe Negan likes her company after all. She can't say she minds his company either, he's nice a good talker and it's easier than being alone.
The train of thought she is following gets shattered by Negan banging Lucille on the table.
"People are a resource!" with each word he slams the bat on the table. Pandora is stiffer with each bang. "Money on the table! People are the foundation of what are are fucking building here! Are you confused about who we are? Are you confused about who is in charge? Are we sliding back Simon, please tell me we are not back sliding."
Pandora cannot say what makes her move, but she moves. She rests a hand on his arm giving it a squeeze. She doesn't miss the way Dwight looks at her. Negan looks down at her and takes a breath, he gives her a slow nod before easing himself back into his chair.
Simon is saying something, but she doesn't catch it she is watching Negan too hard.
"Plan A is taking the Prick, the widow and king assface and make them dead in a very public way. We kill the right people in the wrongest way possible and we make them watch."
"Have someone they love do it." Pandora finds her voice somewhere in this room. She thinks about what would have broken her.
Negan rests his hand over her own sitting on her thigh. "That's a great idea Princess."
His sentences is punctuated by the sound of gunshots. Pandora goes stiff backed in her chair, but Negan and his men are moving. They all stand in front of the windows, a solid mass of bodies.
"Should we get our people out there? Line em up?" Simon is chomping at the bit for violence, she can see it. Unable to help herself, she glares at him, no one notices. He is a dangerous man, more dangerous than Negan.
"No, besides they have some hillbilly armor on. Weste of bullets that's all it will be."
The group checks their weapons before heading to the door. Pandora locks eyes with Negan who only jerks his head for her follow. She does, staying just behind him, best place to be if shooting was going to start. There is a small balcony that faces where Rick has lined up cars covered in metal.
Grinning Negan steps forward lucille over his arm, "Well shit, I'm sorry I was in a meeting." He jerks his head to the cars. "I see you got your little mud flaps with you. So I'm not exactly feeling a reason for us to be throwing lead at each other. I care about my people. I don't want to just march them into the line of fire because I want to play my dick is bigger than yours. It is we both know it. But I'm also comfortable enough to accept the face that if it wasn't. I'm certainly not gonna let people die over that shit like you're about to."
There is a long stretch of silence, Pandora has been using the time to try and pick out faces from between the sheets of metal. There is a flash of Aaron, she thinks she has seen Rosita. No one meets her eyes, none of them even look up at her.
"So Rick what the fuck can I do for you?" There is a tightness in his voice, Pandora had spent enough time with him to know this cheer is forced.
This is well thought out while Negan and his men had been planning and talking Rick has already been on the move. She knew this group was nothing to mess with, Daryl used to tell her stories of the other groups they come in contact with and how they had always won.
"Dwight, your Simon, you're Gavin and you?"
A quick turn of her head has Pandora looking at Regina standing to the side with her arms crossed over her chest.
"Regina."
"Rick, I'd feel remiss if-" Eugene is cut off his face paling just a fraction.
"No, I know who you are. Listen you five the saviours inside all of you have a chance to survive here. To survive this. You can all live if you surrender. Can't guarantee it any time but now. Right now." After everything that has happened Rick is still offering mercy.
Not for her, it is hard to miss that she was not included by name. The blood in her head is pounding, thundering in her ears drowning out all the sound for a minute. They had decided not to save her, she was not worth their mercy. The sun is too bright suddenly, and she thinks everyone must be watching her fall apart. Negan is standing to her right a few feet in front of her. He is tall enough to hide her small frame, the shadow he creates is cool and easier for her hide behind.
"So they surrender and you and your piss patrol don't even kill them? Sounds like a good deal! What about me Rick?"
"I told you, twice. You know what's going to happen to you."
Negan glances over his shoulder at her a grin splitting his face, he shakes his head at her before turning away.
"I do, I do know what's going to happen. But you have no idea the shit thats about to go down. Let me ask you Rick do you have the numbers for this fight? You don't! Simon!"
Simon takes a few steps backwards from the corner of her eye she watches him disappear back inside. When he comes back out there is an older man walking in front of him. Pandora knows him, he was at Hilltop. He was their leader, she remembers that. Pandora remembers his face well, she always thought he was a snake.
The man from Hilltop walks past her stepping up beside Negan.
"What do you have to say to Rick and the piss patrol, Gregory."
Pandora moves just a bit going to the left closure to the steps her eyes do another sweep of the people lining their gates. The white pill she took is swimming in her veins making her float above everything.
"The Hilltop stands with Negan and the Saviours. Any resident of the Hilltop who takes up arms or who support this ultimatum against the Sanctuary or any of the Saviours for that matter they will no longer be welcome in the colony."
Negan is grinning now an arm thrown over Gregorys shoulders. "And?"
"And their families will be thrown out and left to fend for themselves."
"And?" Negan asks again stepping away.
"Go home now or you won't have a home to go back too."
Something catches her eyes, and she is sure she can hear the engine of a motor bike. Her heart flutters for a second before she can get a hold of herself. It doesn't matter if he is here, she is where she needs to be.
"The Hillstop stands with Maggie!" The shout brings her back to the present moment.
Simon is in Gregorys face now, she doesn't care to hear it. A clang of metal and a grunt are heard and now she is very sure she does not want to look. So instead she curls her hands on the metal bar until her knuckles are white with the effort.
Somewhere in the distance she can hear explosions, the air is filling with smoke. Then gunfire explores and everyone is moving. Expect for her she is too slow, too high to make it to the door before the shooting starts. A spark files near her hand, someone is shooting at her. Jumping she tumbles down the steps using them as cover.
The world air exploded again and her world goes black.