The events that lead to her trip into the darkness play behind her eyes now. She can see them all in reverse, the flames putting themselves out; the RV rushing away from the Sanctuary, bullets flying back into their guns. In the darkness she can hear someone calling her, and after a few seconds she knows it's Negan.
Still when he touches her, she jerks away from him, opening her eyes into a different darkness. Her head rolls to the side the world dipping in her vision. Her stomach roils nausea over taking her for a second.
"Easy there Princess, nice and slow."
Negan has his hands on her chin tilting her head upwards so she can look at him. Blinking a few times she tries to make everything clear but for a few seconds her vision stays blurred. If this is death, she is not sure it's so scary after all. Then outside the dead moan and bang on the walls, Negan's leather jacket rubs together,
"How? How?" She wants to ask how she is not dead, but the words won't come. Her brain misfires a few times, a thought starting and stopping.
"Hey don't you worry about that ok." Negan clears the hair from her eyes the world swims back to focus. "I always look out for you Princess couldn't leave you out there."
She had blacked out, because there had been shooting and someone drove the RV into the front gates. They hadn't given her a second thought, her life was nothing to them. A casualty of war, was what they had reduced her to. It didn't matter because Negan had done what he promised he would do protect her.
"Had to wake you up Princess, it's time to go."
The rest of the little room comes into focus, and now she can hear the dead outside. Lifeless uncoordinated hands clambering to get inside. The room is almost in total darkness, some stray lights peek in from the covered windows.
"Where are we?" There is a marching band playing in her brain, everything is too loud and too confusing. "What do you mean?"
"She's been in here the whole time?" Father Gabriel steps out of the shadows his face twisted in horror.
What is he doing here, she doesn't quite understand what's happening. Pandora lets her eyes wonder the room she has woken up in. In the middle of the floor there is the body of a dead thing.
"Take a second Princess I'm right here." Negan steps away from her than swinging Lucille into the chest of the dead thing. He smashes it and smashes it until it's a wide open wound, taking up its entire chest. "Sucks Gabe looks like we are going to have to risk eating it by eating it."
It is easy to see what will come next, it still makes the bile rise in her throat. This is not a new trick, you cover yourself in the dead to hide. They had tried it once her and her family. Lily had been the one to think of it, she had always been so much smarter than Pandora. It had worked for them too, they had slipped out of the apartment building they had been living in.
"I don't understand." Father Gabriel is watching her though, she doesn't look but she can feel the intensity of his stare. He isn't speaking to her, no one ever does. He is watching her, posing questions for Nagen
"Ever done this trick with the guts before? These are putrid, decaying organs, dead blood, piss and shit that have been cooking all day in the Virginian sun."
Gabriel is looking at her now stepping just a fraction closer. Pandora lowers her head knows Negan has not given her permission to speak to him.
"We're from Georgia."
"Look at you lucky shits," Negan has his hands down in the dead thing when he looked at her. "Come over here Princess."
Pandora is flying to her feet when he calls her desperate to put space between her and the priest. She cannot handle the way he is looking at her, so she runs back to Negan.
Negan has his arms elbow deep in guts, Pandora is rooted in the spot eyes glued to him. "I, I can't do that." The world is swimming again, for a second she is sure she will hit the floor. The smell is horrible, hot and heavy in the air.
"Pandora." The command in his voice has her eyes locking to his face. "I will not leave you here. If I go out that door you are coming with me."
There is a such a thick silence she swears she can hear the beating of her heart. Negan won't leave her, that she knows. So she can go out at his side, or screaming over his shoulder. Tilting her chin up she shuts her eyes, "Do it."
"That's my girl."
Lowering herself to her knees in front of him she remains as still as possible. He is careful and only covers his clothes, despite what Gabriel had said.
"Father you in the back, Princess up front with me ok?" Negan reaches down to his pant leg pulling a knife the length of his palm. He hands it to her before standing and reaching for her hand. Standing the grips in the knife in her left hand testing the weight in her hand. "Let's make some noise."
Pandora isn't really good at that, still too terrified to move. Her body and her mind never seem to be on the same page when she needs them. Negan and Gabriela make all the noise for her, banging on the walls and windows. Negan reaches for her hand and she refuses to open her mouth sure only vomit will come out. Tugging her for the door he wraps his free hand around it. Panic flares for a second, this cannot work. There are too many out there, they will smell the life on them all.
Negan slips up beside her one gore covered hand taking her own, his grip is iron. The ice in her blood melts, replaced by steel. Negan has saved her before, he has beaten odds before.
'So have you little one.' The voice in her head sounds like her Mother. She can almost see her there too standing in the darkness whispering to her. It has been such a long time since she had seen a vision of her mother, it seems fitting now since she might not make it.
Negan gives her a light tug, he looks worried. Which he has every right to be she gone off the dreamland in the middle of this shit storm.
"Here we go." Negan whispers it though because the second his finishes he yanks the door open and dead come streaming inside. There are stock still for a second than Negan has her moving out the door and down the steps.
When they step outside Pandora can see where they are headed, it's a logical move. Ten feet away give her take there is a raised landing which leads to a set of stairs, which one would assume would lead them inside.
The dead that move around her are in varying states of rot and decay. Some of them look fresh, others less than humans. Negan is almost right behind her a tightly coiled wall of muscle. Father Gabriel is nowhere in her field of vision, she has forgotten about him all together.
They move together until somehow their cover is broken. Pandora isn't sure what happened tunnel vision too strong somehow the dead know they do not belong there. Negan shoves her forward that is all the push she needs to shove her way through the bodies. Head swims towards her and her hand flies up catching it with her blade. There is enough strength in her hair to pull the blade out before the lifeless body hits them floor.
It cleans just enough of a path for her to see Gabriel losing himself to panic. A fire is in her belly no and she will not die like this, chewed up by the dead. Shoving some out of her way she grabs his jacket yanking him towards her. It seems to wake him up again, and he gets out a few gunshots clearing a path for them to stumble through.
Her knife catches another dead things trying to grab her, after all this time she is still quick. There is a platform a head of them a few dead have somehow gotten on top. They tumble down to the ground hands and mouths coming for them. Pandora is sure she is going to die until something pulls her up.
It takes only a few seconds to realize her knife is gone and a dead thing is coming towards her. Her legs fly up to kick it away tumbling it down to the floor. It knocked her down landing her flat on the floor.
"Atta girl Princess." Negan swings his bat above her head knocking a dead women away from her.
Negan stands above her a hand out for her to grab. Her head pounds wind knocked out of her by the fall. She lets him help her up though clinging to his arm to steady herself.
"Come'on Princess this way." Negan has her by the hand now leading her up the stairs to the door inside.
The moment Negan opens the door a weight falls off her shoulders, slumping them. The second the door opens she can hear the sound of raised voices, a huge swell of noise. Whatever energy had filled her outside made it possible for her to make it back inside alive, is fading away.
Inside the hall ways the sound of voices is growing, bouncing off the walls and filling the little space. Negan picks up his pace pulling her along, Pandora wonders what they will find when they reach the sound. The dead inside the walls already, Negan's mighty kingdom in flames.
As they turn the corner they his people dropping to their knees. Regina standing holding a smoking gun. More would have been dead, but Negan has calmed the storm brewing. He still has her hand in his and she grips onto him, frightened to let go.
" Ah, Regina. Now, why have to go and do that? I am guessing that a lot of you fine folks thought I was dead, chewed up, never to be crapped out again. Well, here's a little refresher on who the hell I am. I wear a leather jacket, I have Lucille, and my nut sack is made of steel. I am not dying until I am damn good and ready!" Negan pauses gives a glance down at her quickly and keeps on talking. "Now, if you'll all excuse me, I am in deep need of a sandwich, a shower, and some of that, uh, wilting lion orchid deep-tissue shit that Frankie learned in San Francisco. Hell, I might do it all at once. But after that, we have some serious business to attend to. Like talking to my right-hand man. You see, we got to figure out how all this could've happened like it happened. And then well, and then we're gonna get back doing what we have always done. We will save people."
The mass on their knees cheer, someone says thank you, someone else thanks God for Negan coming back. She wants to join them, get on her knees and thank him. That would have been the end of her, eaten by a hoard of zombies led by people she once called family. Negan had saved her again, he was right the world out there was dangerous. Here with him was the only place she was truly safe.
"Take him gently to number two and take the Princess back to her room."
The crowd is disprusing, but she is staring at Negan face twisting in panic.
"No, I don't want to." No is not something she tells him, often or ever. Her head pounds and everything taste like the dead, the last thing she wants to do is be alone.
"Don't want to what Princess?" Negan is leaning down so only she can hear him.
Thus triggers her tears, huge wet drop streaming down her cheeks. "I don't want to go back to my room alone."
A high of the level she felt outside is always followed by a crash. This crash is happening fast, inside she knows she is safe so now she is spiraling. Her body is too heavy now, arms hanging at her sides pulled down by a strong sense of gravity.
"Hey, hey." Negan uses the pads of his fingers to wipe her eyes leaving streaks of sticky blood in their place. "You can come with me than don't cry."
He reaches for her she doesn't mind his blood covered hands she grips onto him like she is drowning. With a snap of his fingers with his free hand a man appears at his side.
"Go to Pandora's room and pick her out something to wear and send it to my room."
Negan leads her back to his room, she hears him give a few more order the words don't mean anything to her. The next thing she knows she is standing in his bathroom, and Negan is tugging at her sweater.
"Come on down-to-earth Princess and take that off."
Pandora jumps his voice forcing her back into her body. The sweater lands on the floor in a heap leaving her is a relatively clean tank top. Her pants, socks and shoes are left none of them savable. This leaves her standing in nothing but her tank top and underwear.
"I almost died today." She whispered her hands shake at her sides, Negan's figure swimming in her vision. The dam in her head is breaking, threatening to take her at any second.
"I know Princess, take a shower and we can talk." There is something so oddly domestic about all of this. Negan in the bathroom holding her blood covered clothes watching her with such tenderness.
"Ok." Is all she can seem to muster. When she hears the door close she strips and heads into the shower.
When she comes out, there is an outfit folded next to the sink, complete with thick socks. Pandora dresses quickly pulling the dark green sweater over her head. She runs her fingers through her hair and puts in some product.
In the mirror her skin is clean, honey coloured skin shining. It doesn't feel clean, there is a phantom feeling of guts and blood. It does that matter that it never touched her skin, she feels it. Watching herself in the mirror her fingers touch her cheeks gently. Her skin is soft a roundness is back though, her face is filling out by the day.
Opening the door she steps back into the main living room. Negan is standing at the bar dressed in only his boxers and a tank top. Like her the under layer of his clothes seems to be clean enough. He is already drinking she notes, a small glass in his hand filled with dark amber liquid.
"Hey Princess food is there on the counter" Negan pats her on the shoulder and heads into the bathroom.
In his kitchen there is a plate for her, a sandwich with a steaming bowl of soup. Pandora eats at the little kitchen table and washes her dishes when she's done.
He comes out while she is washing her dishes, putting a half filled glass at her Enlow just as she was about to start drying them.
"Leave it Princess, come to bed."
Pandora dried her hands on the towel she was going to use for the dishes. Heading for the bed she pulls the covers open and slips inside.
Negan gets into bed beside her handing her a glass she forgot in the kitchen. Pandora takes the cup in her hands, a tight grip stops the shaking. Raising it to her lips she takes a long deep drink, it sets a fire in her gut. It's a good fire though and she hums shutting her eyes.
"We almost died today." This time when she says it there are no tears or panic. "You saved me again."
Negan grins at her reaching over he turns on the bedside lamp. "I promised I always would.*
She spins the glass in her hand watching the amber liquid swish. Bringing it to her lips she takes a deep drink, emptying it.
"Hmm," she hums glass clinking on the side table. This cues the melting of her bones into the pillows. "Are you going to plan tonight?"
"No, not tonight. I need a break." Beside her in the now darkness she can hear him shifting. The sun hasn't fully set yet but they are too tired to wait till dark to sleep. Instead they both begin to drift away in silence.
"Good night." She whispers pulling the sheets over herself and rolling over.