((Well sometimes my brain fog is super intense, and clearly I had one of those days and up loaded a chapter you already had. So wah I suck, but here is a new one! I'm going to post another new one today too so keep your eyes peeled!))
Negan takes her back to her room, in less than five minutes she has a bag packed. It's only a few things, something to sleep in, an outfit for tomorrow and toiletries. When Pandora comes out of the bathroom Negan is watching her an eyebrow raised.
"I'm not sleeping here." she says matter-of-factly as she walks past him outside. "You promised."
"Forgot for a second got a lot on my mind here Princess."
In his room dinner is already there, but Pandora steps past him without a word and to the shower.
Under the water her own doom plays every time she closes her eyes. She pictures the dead climbing over the steps and tearing them all apart. Pandora stops shutting her eyes, letting the soap sting them painfully as she washes her hair.
There is no need for her real clothes now. Instead, she slips into what she intends to sleep in. A black pair of tights with a long navy blue t-shirt. Pandora coats her thick waves in product running her fingers to untie the knots.
When she comes back into the room Negan is sitting at the table eating a bowl of soup.
"It's getting cold." He says jerking his head towards the bowl on the table opposite of him.
Pandora slips into the chair and starts eating, "Sorry."
Negan gets up from the table moving behind her into the kitchen. When he comes back, he has two mugs and a bottle of wine. Pouring her a mug she sets it in front of her before filling his own and sitting down.
Pandora empties the mug in a few gulps and holds it out for a refill.
"What's wrong Princess?"
"They are trying to kill all of us."
Negan only shakes his head and refills her mug. There is a long stretch of silence as he gets settled back in his chair picking up the bowl of soup.
The wine Pandora drinks goes straight to her head, mostly because her stomach is empty. Not that she minds, there are dead inside anything to calm her nerves. From across the table Negan clears his throat jerking his head to her still full bowl of soup.
"You need to eat. It's too early to be drunk already."
The dead on the lower level of their home tell a different story. She should have been drunk a long time ago. Instead she eats letting the food sit in her stomach. It's a little late for the food to help, the buzz is already making a home in a head.
They don't talk as they eat, Pandora is careful to finish her bowl before reaching for the mug again. This time the liquid is warm in her stomach, the warmth spreading throughout her limbs. It's almost enough to make her forget that their death is down stairs.
"They really did it this time." Negen is leaning back in his chair pinching the bridge of his nose.
Unsure of what to say next Pandora clears the table, refilling his mug as she passes him. Everything is crumbling down around them, and he cannot seem to stop it. She feels that around her more and more with each hour. Most of her is terrified but there is a small part of her that feels a strange sense of relief, that part is small though.
When she's washed the dishes Negan moves into the next room, she can simply hear the sound of shifting pages. Drying her hands on a small towel on the counter she takes her mug and the bottle following him into the bedroom. Refilling his mug as she passes him Pandora heads right for the bed. The book she had been reading is still sitting on the bedside table, she picks it up and reads while Negan goes over plans.
After she had read the same sentence twice Pandora thinks maybe she has had too much wine for this. Instead she takes her mug again and refills it from the bedside table.
Negan turns his head and raises his eyebrow at her.
"What?" The question is accompanied by a slight wrinkle in her nose as she watches him.
"Becoming quite the wino there, huh?"
He had put the papers on his desk away, tucking them all away into a notebook. Then he kicks off his shoes joining her to relax on the bed. Outside the sun is setting painting the room in dirty fading light. Somehow she cannot picture them sleeping, even with the wine.
"It's how I cope now," Pandora refills his own mug. "I could go back to being a basket case."
It's an off handed comment she thinks is innocent enough a mere statement of fact, Negan on the other hand doesn't feel the same. He is turning to her, encasing her cold hand with his own warm one. These are the times she wonders about him, about the motive behind picking her out of the line up that night.
"Pandora I'm not proud of how your time with me started you know that right?"
Pandora only shrugs trying to pull her hand away, which he doesn't allow. This is a topic that hurts her head, too many images that all too different to make sense. The now is better, if she stays rooted in the present she knows where Negan keeps her safe and everyone in Alexandria wants them all dead.
"I want you to be happy and feel safe, that's why I saved you."
"I know " His eyes are locked on her hand and she is picturing the warmth of him unfreezing the blood in her veins. "It's fine now you know, but there will always be something broken up here." Her finger taps her temple. This is something she accepted the world is broken now and so is she.
"I would have killed all those men for you Princess, burned everything down."
There is a long stretch of silence between them, his statement makes a heat rise in her face. Negan stares at her his eyes glistening "I don't understand you sometimes."
"What don't you understand," He takes his mug again filling it half way, they have already drank half the bottle. "Ask away."
There is a misfire in her brain, there is no question no, not one she wants to ask. Or maybe there is a small dark pearl in her head that gets bigger when she thinks about it.
"Come on Princess what do you want to know?"
Pandora shakes her head drowning the rest of the wine in her glass in a few quick gulps. "Why do you keep me around?" She had always wondered what it was about her that interested him. What made him keep her here, in his room at his side. He could have any other woman he wanted to keep him company instead he picked her, how long has it even been since he had seen his wives.
"I like you Pandora." There is more she knows it when she pulls her eyes away from his hand still gripping her own he is watching her. "I think you went through some fucked up shit and you deserve someone to help you through it. I looked up to you taught everyone of my fucking students about you, the raw talent the passion you had. You inspired them, so I wanted to return the favor."
His words are too heavy for this room and how light she feels now. They make her eyes sting and before she can stop it her cheeks are marked with tears. Here in the end of the world she'd found someone who knew her, knew her when she was a whole person.
"I hardly remember that girl anymore." Pandora whispers using her free hand to wipe at her eyes. "I can't be her."
"Then don't be, be someone else, someone new."
Negan takes his hand from hers taking the mug and filling it again, this time Pandora laughs. Negan only cocks his eyebrow in question.
"You're giving the crying PTSD suffering woman more wine."
Negan grins pillowing his head on his arm behind him, "You asked didn't you? Haven't you learned I can't say no to those puppy dog eyes Princess."
"Oh really?" There is a glint in her eyes. "Then can we go look at the stars?"
Negan doesn't answer instead the darkening room is filled with the sound of his laughter. "You know if I said that to one of my wives they'd be asking me for an iPad or some shit. God damn Princess and you wonder I keep you around instead. Finish your drink lets go."
Pandora does as she is told emptying to mug in a few quick gulps. Negan takes the mug returning them to the kitchen sink before she had even gotten up from the bed. The moment she does her head spins vision taking a second to catch up with the movement of her eyes.
"Oh fuck." her hand grips the bedpost knuckles white. "I am drunker than I thought."
Negan is beside her in moments a firm hand on her elbow keeping her steady. "Don't think you're making it up there Princess."
"No it's fine," In her mouth her tongue it thick and too big. She trips over her words slurring them ever so slightly. "You can help me."
The halls are more crowded than usual, two men fall into line behind them. They had closed off the two levels closest to the lower floor, just to be safe. Everyone in the halls is heavily armed eyes trained on the lower levels. As they move the sea of people move for them, clearing a path. They don't need a lot of space Pandora is standing directly in front of Negan who leads her by the elbows.
The steps up prove to be more difficult than she thinks but Negan is behind her a solid steady presence, he keeps her steady. Up there it's almost empty there are a few bodies lounging on the sofas.
When Negan steps in with her she tugs him to the sofa with the clearest view of the skies. A few of his wives are there lounging and smoking they looked up the moment Negan looming over them.
"Ladies I'm in need of this space, go smoke somewhere else."
There is a woman there she doesn't know her name, but she had seen her before. Her dark skin shines in the scattered lanterns, lips painted in a bright red colour. She smiles at him, but the glare she gives Pandora is nothing but malace. The other women get up and head for the door but she is slower.
"Ya should marry her already, stop all this bullshit." The statement is thrown over her shoulder as she makes a of walking away.
The wine makes Pandora quick, "He did say I was less demanding than you would be." She doesn't even want to to marry him, that stupid. But her tongue is nasty and quick so it let's spill the first thing she can think of. Pandora wouldn't marry him, it isn't like that between them, it just isn't.
"Oh my oh my wine makes her spicy ladies." Negan is booming with laughter.
Shaky steps lead her to the now empty sofa she doesn't care enough to watch them leave. The sofa is soft under her the sky is bright and clear, stars bright beacons in the sky. The outdoor sofa they are sitting on is an l shape, Pandora on one side Negan on the other. She lays on her back looking straight up through the glass ceiling.
"Most of the stars up there are already dead." Pandora whispers the wine is shifting gears slow her down rather than wind her up. "Light travels at 300,000 km per second by the time the light reaches us the stars are gone. We are looking into the past."
"Where did you learn about stars Princess?" Negan's voice is a deep rumble floating to her in the growing darkness.
"You can't learn history without learning about the stars. They helped us understand the universe." Pandora takes his hand tracing the sky with her pointer finger. "That is centus an ancient Greek sea monster, and that is Hercules names after the half god hero from Greece."
Pandora lets her hand fall now linking her hands and resting them on her stomach. There is no other movement in the sky, all the satellites and spaceships have long since gone dark. Only the stars are left.
"You know some interesting things huh Princess."
"I guess, tell me a story about before."
Negan does spilling out a story about him and his wife, he doesn't even get halfway through before she is sleeping soundly.
The next thing she remembers is a bright white light cutting the darkness of her eyelids. Someone is touching her, shaking her shoulder a little.
"Gonna go get this show on the road you-"
When she opens her eyes, she can see Negan hovering over her, bright morning sunlight filling the room. "Can I watch?" She asks rubbing the sleep from her eyes.
There is quite the large hole in her memory from last night. She remembers dinner, and the wine. She remembers going up to the roof and talking about the stars, Negan's voice than nothing. She must have fallen asleep on the roof, and he brought her back to his room.
A raised eyebrow than a shrug but Negan answers "Why the fuck not."
When she sits up her head is pounding mouth dry. Negan must have been up for some time because he is showered and freshly dressed. He hands her two white pills and a glass of water. Taking the pills she drowns the glass before slipping into the bathroom quickly. A shower is out of the question, she knows they are waiting for her now. So instead she changed, washes her face and wets her hair taming the waves.
They go up to a ledge that looks down on the dead. There are two large double doors here, one has been blown open by a truck that's how the dead got inside. The other is blocked by a mass of dead bodies, all clamouring for a way inside. In the night they had been able to clear the dead out and close the door, now only the ones outside were left.
The rest of his generals are here fanned out around him. Pandora is stationed to his right. But Dwight is on her left side and she feels too exposed too close. So she moves slipping away to the front where she can be alone.
It's hot out here, the morning sun is shining full strength down on them. It makes the air stink, filling the once sweet breeze with nothing but the smell of rotting flesh. Pandora shields her eyes from the sun trying to breathe through her nose only. There isn't a cloud in the sky right now, it's just a clear bright blue. Just like it had been last night when she fell asleep under the stars.
Below the dead clamour to get inside, long dead hands scraping at the doors and windows. They can't open them thank god, not enough brain power or muscle control to open doors. Thank god she hasn't eaten yet, or else it might be all over the pavement right now.
It's odd that she isn't a shaking drugged up mess right now. There are dead things 20 deep surrounding her. It seems like nothing to her, they would get out. Of course they would, because Negan doesn't break promises, and he promised to save her and all of these people.
"On my word begin firing at the designated areas." Eugene is talking into a walkie to what she assumes are the people with guns stationed at the windows. "And commence."
The air that had just been filled with the sounds dead now explodes with the sound of gunfire. She knew it was coming, and she still jumped almost out of her skin. The shooters from the windows unload a huge amount of bullets, and the wall of dead bodies Eugene wanted starts to take form. They don't kill all the dead, they don't need to. They all clamour towards the sound crushing each other as they attempt to climb towards the sound. They pile on top of each other, the ones who are still moving reaching out for something, anything.
The door hidden under the ledge must have been clear enough to open, because there were human bodies moving amongst the dead now. A small group of Negan's men are moving within the pathway the shooting has cleared. She doesn't know them except for the women in the back, with her tight curls bound under a red bandana. Her heart tightened painfully in her throat, she could suddenly picture than so clearly the dead pouring over the walls to rip them apart.
It's so clear in her head. There is a breach in the wall, the dead come slipping over too many for them to shoot at. They would try though because they are Negan's men, and Negan gave them a job to do so they would try to do it. They would put up a good fight too, the people with guns in the windows would help. But they would climb on their ledge Pandora would be forced to watch in horror while they are ripped apart by the dead.
With a swift jerk she is on her feet again moving past the other bodies watching to find Negan. He is standing in the back closest to the door Simon at his side, eyes glued to the action below. Slipping up beside him she pressed into him only slightly, he puts his arm around her shoulder solid and heavy. It grounds her, reminds her where she is and let focus. Like Daryl used to do for her.
A sigh slips past her half-open lips, and she can watch again. Negan doesn't say anything, only accepts her standing at his side. The group has made it out to the fence now, and they were splitting up some going to the right some off to the left. in seconds they dead have forgotten and go back to the doors and the walls. That sends a little shock of panic when she thinks about being trapped in here again.
No one moves though, and then she hears it. The sound of cars crunching on the road and them honking their horns. The dead pause all of them for a few long seconds than they are moving in the direct of the sound and the cars. Five cars lead the dead away, their horns cutting through the noise. It works the dead all begin to turn and before long they are moving as a mass towards the sound.
Seconds tick by and Pandora's breath is escaping from her mouth she forgot she had been holding it. Negan gives her another tight squeeze, and she softens again. Another two groups appear then, the first is small only five people. The second group is larger almost ten, but they are moving so much it's hard to count them. The first smaller group runs for the gates. They have welding tool and scrap metal to fix anything broken. They work quickly to repair to fences, as they work the second group kills any walkers that did leave with the rest.
They begin to pull the bodies as far away from the building as they could than lighting them on fire. Pandora guessed they didn't want to risk opening the gates so soon. Thick black smoke twists and curls it way higher into the bright sky. When Pandora looks around her, she is alone with Negan, everyone else is gone.
"I have to go kill some of them now." Negan mutters his fingers scratching at his growing beard. "I didn't want to that."
Pandora doesn't speak, she isn't sure she could even if she wanted to, actually. Instead she stands there still in silence. She knows he doesn't want to kill anyone, people are important they make all of this work. But it wasn't working right now, because they had been surrounded by the dead than had a truck driven at them. Did they even remember she was here with him, his pretty little Princess. It didn't matter she guessed, she was fine Negan kept her safe.
"I'll see you later Princess."
Pandora's eyes snap up to him catching his gaze before he turns away, "I'm staying here?"
Negan sighs running his hand over his bread. She watches him hard, he usually brings her. It used to be for the threat of violence against her when the people of Alexandria stepped out of line. But now, now he promised he would never hurt her. He still brought her along the last time even though he wouldn't hurt her.
"You want to come? I'm going to unleash hell on them Princess."
She does want to come, she isn't sure why but she does. If she looks hard enough, thinks hard enough she could find a reason. Right now Negan isn't asking for a reason he is just asking for a yes or no.
"I know."