Little Doll
It was so clear in the meeting, even more clear as Hunter leads her to steps and up to the roof. They pass groups of people huddled in corners, Negan's name floats on the wind. The uneasy is so thick it almost chokes her. Though as many times as she hears Negan names as she walks she always hears Simons and it sets her teeth on edge. There is something happening here still, that shifting under the surface she had seen days ago has not stopped. Her nerves are on fire and she needs a break, just a moment to really breathe.
Pandora had always been a lover of history; it was her major before the world ended. She cannot help but think of this as a kingdom about to have a coup. The leader ripped from their place of power with violence. There is the nagging question of her, what happens to her when the power shifts. The last royal family of Russia the Romanovs had their reign ended in a pool of blood. Pandora cannot help but wonder if Negan's will be the same.
On the roof Hunter doesn't step away from the door, instead he stands like a silent century. The door opens a few times, but no one else enters. There are a few people up here mostly they are tending to the plants in the back, their conversation doesn't reach her where she has sprawled out.
It occurs to her that this place has been kept empty on purpose. Hunter had been opening the door every so often, but no one came in. Instead, a thick heavy silence has fallen inside the greenhouse. She had been so wrapped up in her own head she had hardly noticed. Now it's all she sees, the empty space around her.
"Hunter?" Pandora is laying on her back staring up into the sky and calls out to him from there. "Why isn't anyone else up here?"
Silence ticks by for a few seconds before she hears him speak. "I'm just doing what I'm told."
"By who?" Pandora wonders who wants to keep her from other people. Unless they are keeping other people from her. She remembers the other night when she and Negan had kicked his wives out here. The next morning everyone had heard the story. They all think someone would hurt her, because it would hurt Negan.
"By Arat and Negan."
Pandora feels her throat go dry, and she reaches up to stroke it. Fear tastes bitter in the back of her throat. He should not have let Simon live. It was a mistake. That's why everyone is so scared, they fear Simon.
"They think someone would hurt me. That Simon would hurt me" Pandora is pulling herself up now she wants to see Hunters face. He isn't looking at her though, instead he is looking down at the floor, his hands stuffed in his pockets.
"No one will, that's why I'm here." Hunter still does not look when he talks to her.
Then the door behind him opens and his attention shifts away from her. Sighing, Pandora pulls her knees to her chest and shifts on the sofa. She can't help but wonder what everyone else knows. What is being talked about out there among the people.
Some time ticks by in silence until Pandora asks to be taken back to Negan's room. There is a warm rice and bean dish waiting when she unlocks the bathroom door. It was just easier to come back here, it felt safer, Hunter was outside the door. Besides, why not sleep in the nicer room, Negan had it much better than she did. Though the view from her window was a lot more interesting, Negan had the books to make up for it.
When she is done eating Pandora finds another book, this one by Anne Rice and curls up in the bed. Her head is always such a fucking mess it's easy to fall into the pages. After a few hours the room is falling into darkness, when she turns on the bedside light on the door opens in the next room. She had left the door open and could hear his footsteps.
"Hey there Princess." Negan is standing in the doorway now his arms crossed over his chest.
Pandora slips a sheet of paper in the book to mark her place before looking up at him, "There's food in the microwave." He looks tired and they stare at each other for a few seconds.
Then he's gone and she can hear him pressing the button in the kitchen. He comes to join her in the bed, the bowl in one hand, a bottle and two glasses in the other. At the side of the bed he flatters almost dropping the glasses.
Pandora is quick for once and catches them with a small laugh, " You could have asked for help." She places the two cups on her nightstand and takes the bottle from him as well before he sits down.
"You look so comfortable Princess." Negan is sitting now propped against the pillows eating.
Pandora shakes her head and fills the glasses handing on to him. "You were gone all day today." she mutters taking a long drag of whiskey. It burns but the sweet kind, like when she used to run in Alexandria.
They had left each other sometime in the late afternoon and she had come back here alone. The time had passed so quickly as she had lost herself in her book. She had hardly ever noticed that he never came back.
Negan sighs, drowning the contents of his glass in one gulp. "I know, Princess. They day got away with me. What did you do all day?"
Pandora shrugs, refilling his glass and her own. "I went to the greenhouse and started reading a new book." This time she takes smaller sips from her glass, her chest already on fire. "What did you do?"
"I tried to sniff out the rats. Simon's been whispering behind my back."
Pandora goes stiff her hands gripped the glass she was holding, "Why do you let him live?"
Negan is filling their glasses again, his shoes are gone. Setting the bottle down, he slips under the covers with her. Pandora just shifts slightly to the side to make room for him. She had never been one for sleeping alone, the night was too dark for that.
The light is still on beside the bed so she can see him when he fills their cups again. "Simon is a weed in my garden, but you can't just pull one weed." Negan's hand is in a tight fist now. "You have to pull out all the roots."
"There are others working with him." Pandora sips her glass, closes her eyes for a second and tries to picture the faces of anyone who might support Simon. None come to her mind, she only sees the ones Negan knows are loyal anyway. "You have to get them all in one move. Find out where they were meeting, catch them plotting. No one will say anything once they are dead"
"You might just have a head for this after all." Negan laughs, shaking his head before reaching to get the light. "Figured out my plan without breaking a sweat. They all wonder why I like you."
They talk for longer in the darkness, spilling their secrets. Pandora confesses how much of a mess she is after Hilltop, and how she dreams about it burning. Some time in the middle of a story about one of his wives, Frankie, she thinks Pandora is sleeping.
In the morning she has no desire to leave his room. Plagued by the thought of men in the halls plotting for a new leader. Simon would kill Rick and all of his people. She didn;t want that, she just wanted everyone to live. Like her, just do what you're told and live. Negan wanted that too she knew it, but Simon wanted blood.
Instead she stays in Negan's room, confident someone is outside and she is safe. After breakfast the book from yesterday sits in the living room, she stays there until there is a knock at the door.
Thinking it might be Began sending her lunch Pandora goes to the kitchen before she calls for the person behind the door to come in. The second it opens she regrets the words, but it's too late to take them back.
"Hey there Princess."
Simon steps into the room a bowl of steaming food in his hand. Pandora can already feel the panic in her chest but she had enough wits to step back out of the kitchen.
"Now your bodyguard wasn't happy with me coming to see you." Simon is stepping into the room shutting the door behind him. For a second Pandoras can see bobies in the hall, hear the sound of voices shouting and cursing. "But I told him it was fine because we're friends. aren't we?"
"What do you want Simon?" Pandora spits out his name, hair on and back of her neck standing on edge. Panic makes her bold, there are many ways this little meeting could go. She did not like any of them. Her heart trips in her chest, the sound thundering in her ears. This isn't like the meeting, Negan isn't going to step through the door.
"Ah see that shit hurts my heart." Simon shakes his head moving to take the chair across from her. "Because I thought we were friends. I mean I brought you back with us that night didn't I?"
Simon has set the bowl down and is walking around the side of the table towards her. The grin on her face makes her sick to her stomach. This is a dangerous man, worse than Negan. Somehow Pandora still finds iron in her blood.
"Dwight brought me back." Her chin comes up slowly to meet his gaze, he is suddenly mad as a rabid dog.
"I let him bring you back, I could have out a fucking bullet in your head and no one would have blink." Simon closed the distance in a few quick steps, and has back backed into a corner. He brings the back of his hand to her cheek and trails his fingers down to her hip. "But I do like you."
There is a fire in her chest now, a blaze that burns hot. This would never be her life again. "Get the fuck away from me." Pandora snarls, she shoves his hand then ducks under his arm. Simon is quick though sticking his foot out to trip her.
Pandora hits the ground not expecting it, arms fly up to protect her face. Simon grabs a fist full of her hair pulling her up to stand again. "Oh Princess I came to offer you a chance to get on the winning side."
He lets go of her hair and Pandora steps backward trying to put more space between them. She begins to back out of the kitchen towards the bedroom.
"I think you would look so good standing by my side, don't you."
"Get out!" Pandora screams at him, but Simon only grins.
"See I know I can fix this little attitude problem, you got too spoiled." Simon lunges at her then wrapping his hand around her throat. In a flash she is panicked and unable to breath.
Pandora shuts her eyes for a second trying to remember everything Rosieta and Arat had taught her. With one leg she kicks Simon in the balls. He swears but doesn't drop her, only recovers and lifts her feet off the ground.
"Oh Princess I am going to have fun breaking you." He leans towards her as he speaks, breath tickling her cheek.
Pandora smashed her forehead against his, their skulls connecting painfully. Simon does drop her and Pandora is running for the bedroom. Just get behind the fucking door, she tells herself. By some miracle she does, and the second the lock is in place she is sobbing on the ground.
Outside the room she can hear Hunter shouting, and Simon speaking with a fake calm. Pandora tunes them out. Her throat aches, the bruise must already be blooming on her skin. Bile rises in her throat and she finds herself doubled over on the toilet. Pandora checked the lock on the door three times before curling into a ball in the bathtub to wait for Negan.
She isn't sure how much time has passed before she hears the knock on the door. There are no windows in the bathroom, but the empty feeling in her stomach tells her it's been some time.
"Pandora, it's me."
For a second she doesn't move and isn't sure why. For a second she wishes it was someone else behind that door.
"Come on, Princess,"
Pandora stands getting out of the tub, closing the scant distance to the door. With One hand around her neck to hide the bruise, the other hand unlocks the lock before she stands back. Negan has it open in a second, and a quick glance behind him tells her the room is clean again.
"That fucking asshole." Negan is hovering over her, moving her hand away from the bruise on her throat. She hisses in pain as he brushes his thumb too hard against the purple flesh, he drops his hand in seconds.
"It's not Hunter's fault, Simon came here with men." Pandora whispers, unable to look up. Negan reaches for her hands and brings her out into the living room, lowering her onto the sofa.
"What happened?" He sits beside her when he asks.
"He said things were changing, he was taking over."
There is silence as Negan processes and Pandora tries to keep calm.
"I never thought he would come here. Pandora, I'm sorry."
Pandora doesn't speak, only sits stiff backed on the sofa. She had come out on the other side of this alive; she had fought him. Negan has her one hand cupped in his, heat spreading up her arm.
"He tried to have me killed." Negan finally says breaking the silence in the room. "I'm going to kill him for that, and especially for this." Negan looks down at her, one hand reaching up to touch the bruise on her neck. Thanks to Simon her throat is decorated with a green and purple bruise the shape of his hand.
"Can I come?" Pandoras ask suddenly, there is a need to see blood.
"I'm going to fight him, Princess, hand to hand."
"I wouldn't have expected any less."
Negan laughs a little, then they fall into a strange silence. It's not comfortable, but it isn't uncomfortable. Pandora feels the heat of his skin through her sweater and melts just a little. Negan puts his arm around her. She leans in despite herself.
"Ready to go?" He asks finally. "Let's show the man who is the boss."
They walk down seven flights of stairs until they are on the main floor. She remembers this place from when they burned the doctor alive. The fire isn't lit today though, today is for blood. Pandora stands behind Negan. Hunter is still there, a little paler than before but more alert at the same time, one hand resting on the hilt of his gun.
She made a mental note to check on him after this was all over. He seemed nice. A few eyes turn to her when she steps in and the whispers are already moving. She wants to find a dark little corner to step into. Instead, Arat steps up beside her and she has never been more grateful to see the other women.
"Are you all right?" Arat doesn't say hello, no need to mince words now.
"Ya I have an excellent teacher." Pandora whispers, not taking her eyes off Negan as he moves into the center of the room.
"I'm glad you're ok." Arat says nothing else because then she and everyone else is all watching Simon come into the room.
There is a madness in his eyes, he grins at them. His eyes find her's and he winks. Pandora jerks up as if she is a puppet and someone has pulled her strings too tight. A shifting in the figure beside her snaps her back into the present moment. Arat has her hand firmly resting on her arm now.
"Everyone!" Simon breaks the silence but Pandora isn't watching him, the sound of his voice makes her shake again. "After this is done, we get to work. Just know that I didn't want this. But the Sanctuary must stand. This is not the man to prosecute this conflict. Just wanted to say... a grateful enclave" Simon turns in a flash landing a blow to the side of Negan's face. "Thank you!"
She gasps her hand flying over her mouth in an attempt to cover the sound. The action has surprised Negan because he is on the floor and Simon is raining down a few more punches. No is speaking or making any sounds, except for her breathing seems too loud in the small space where everyone else seems to be holding theirs. Simon pulls Negan to his feet and that is all he needs to get his footing again.
Simon lands another hit so hard Pandora swears she can feel it in the side of her face. Negan grunts though and as Simon moves in again Negan is faster, an elbow to Simon's back. It is almost like a car crash so horrible it is hard to tear your eyes away from it. That is how Pandora feels now like she cannot stop watching, despite the growing panic. The struggle continues in front of her but they are both moving too fast. It is hard to tell who is winning.
Negan headbuts Simon so hard Pandora's teeth rattle that is when it takes a turn. With Simon on the ground panting she knows this is close to being over. She doesn't mind either, it is quite soothing watching Negan beat him with his bare hands. Her own skin crawls for the want of it, to hit him just a few times. If she was high there would have been no stopping her, but now undrugged she cant hold herself together on the side lines and wait, wait for Negan to finish.
Negan is slowing down now, raining in a few blows while Simon tries to protect himself. Negan lets him roll over, clutching his side and coughing. Glancing at her, he raises one eyebrow, Pandora only nods. Kill him, she thinks savagely, kill him for touching me.
Finally Negan gets down, wrapping his hands around Simon's throat who still tries to fight. In her head she can see him closing the distance between them in the kitchen of her room, that glint in his eyes. Simon's hand wrapped around her throat, breath hot on her cheek. He would take her if he took this place, Simon was not Negan. Simon was just as much a wolf as the rest of them had been.
"You went for it all at the Hilltop." Negan snarls the words choking the life from the body under him with every syllable he speaks. "You got Saviours killed, and then you ran away like a coward! You got shown up too many times. Tried to take this fucking place, put your greedy little hands on my things" He leans down now, face nothing but unchecked rage. "Those people, they are always gonna know that there's a loophole, a way to skate. They are always gonna be looking for that chance to push back, so now I gotta kill all of 'em just like I'm gonna kill you!"
The last sentence it spit out, in the silence around them the sound of Simons windpipe breaking is as loud as a gun shout. Instead of jumping Pandora finds herself smiling a small one tugging at just the right side of her lips.
The silence is only pinpointed by Negan's ragged breathing and for a few moments he stands there's just breathing, "What an asshole."
Behind her Hunter calls her name, but she can't hear it, blood pounding in her ears. Slowly she closes the distance between where she stands and Simon's lifeless body. His face is distorted, the colour of his skin off, his neck is still bruising fast despite him being dead. Leaning over, she spits in his face.
Behind her Negan only chuckles, slipping his arm around her waist he leans down to whisper in her ear, "Come On now Princess we have one more problem to deal with before this day is over."
Her eyes flicker to Dwight standing a few rows of people behind them. She doesn't look for long. She knows what is next for him too.
They are on a level she has spent little time in, nothing seems familiar to her. But Negan is walking Pandora on his right arm, arm tucked into his. Dwight walks on the left. There is some tension, she can feel it. When Negan has her around usually people are more calm, he doesn't get too crazy around her. It is different now though. He had brought her down to watch him kill Simon with his bare hands.
"Such a damn shame, a waste. Slinking behind my back like some kind of dickless worm. Planning on killing me, putting his hand on my girl." Negan speaks as they round a corner one hand patting hers lightly. "Like what else am I gonna do besides crush the guy's throat."
"Yeah." Dwight is not looking at Negan but keeps stealing glances at her.
"Eh, you know, what's bad for Simon, it's good for you. And I know we've had our ups and downs, D, but I've always been able to count on you."
This is strange and Pandora was sure they were also marching Dwight to his death, not a promotion. When they stop walking she is silent at Negan's side.
"So congratulations, you are my new right hand man. That is if you accept the promotion."
"I do and I'll help you finish this thing with Rick."
"Don't sell yourself short, D you already have!" Negan is grinning and she knows that grin.
Dwight turns, shaking his head to open the door in front of them, his room Pandora thinks. That must be his room. When the door opens Pandora understands what she is doing here, she doesn't know the women sitting in the room by name but she knows she used to be part of Dwight's crew.
Negan is tucking her under his arm pulling her tight against his frame. A glance behind her shows more of his guards coming from around the corner five men maybe, and Aart who slips past her into the room.
"Don't look surprised, Dwight. Yeah, see I found her on the side of the road. Laura, why don't you tell D what you told me?"
This is where Negan got his information from, the night he came back he already knew about Dwight and this woman was how. There is an icy finger of dread on her spine she doesn't understand. Because Dwight had done something wrong, he was helping Rick. Whatever happens to him after this is his own fault.
Laura stands her eyes only for Dwight, "That night in Alexandria he turned on us. He killed our team. I ran and I kept running. I was hurt but what kept me alive was the thoughts of getting back here and exposing you for the scum weasel you are."
Negan chuckles shaking his head, "Now Princess why don't you tell Dwight what you told me."
Pandora has a lump in her throat and her skin heats at the sudden eyes on her. "When they killed my guard's in Alexandria Rick's people brought me to Hilltop. I woke up in the woods and Dwight was there. He told me he was bringing me back, but he lied he was helping them escape. When I found my way back he tried to talk me out of it, he tried to make me stay away" Negan had asked something of her and she had done it, the names were too painful to say.
She can't say Daryl's name without a painful twist in her gut and a feeling that makes her want to hide. It feels like that now when she pictures waking in the woods, weak from blood loss and pain. Than seeing Daryl again after so long having him right there in front of her, and the panic. She feels it now as if she is back in that moment knowing how wrong it all is. She isn't there though in the woods, or a captive at Hilltop and she is here in the Sanctuary and the pressure of Negan's arm reminds her of that.
"It all makes sense now, you told Rick when to attack. How to get to the outposts. You kept us locked in here slipping than workers' guns." Negan is stepping to the room leaving her forgotten leaning against the door frame. "Maybe you even lied to me about killing Sherry, oh hell for sure lied to me about that."
Pandora can hear her heart pounding in her chest, this isn't like with Simon she is not excited to watch Dwight die. Why, she isn't sure, but she doesn't want to know. Know that this is where it is heading, it is the only place it could be heading but still she doesn't want to be here. A shaking hand fingers a loose curl and twists it. Something to keep her hands busy.
"So what? You think you're some sort of a hero?" The last word is punctuated by a sucked in breath, and the hairs on Pandora's arm are standing on end. "No. You are nothing, a nobody in way over your head. " Negan sighs, shaking his head slowly. "But when I said you would come through for me when I needed it oh, I meant it 110 present. See I knew that I could count on you to deliver my plan to Rick, my brilliant if I do say so myself fake ass plan. You used Gregory for that right? I mean I was thinking maybe you'll take some sort of field trip or something but no you got yourself a little delivery boy. Good for you! To deliver all that intel to Rick and the piss patrol that's gonna lead them into the line of fire they are not going to know what hit em all thanks to my new right hand man."
He says man and touches Dwight's shoulder, but means Laura the blonde angry woman. She will be the new right man at Negan's side, because something bad happened and she came back to make it right. Like Pandora. Pandora had come back, she could have stayed away, but there is no away not anymore. Too much of her is tied to this place, to Negan, maybe it's the same for Laura.
"Now see I thought about killing you and then," Negan sucks in a breath there is something that just passes over his face, pain, regret maybe. She is not sure anyone else can see it, but she sees it. "I thought maybe that's be too dignified for a backstabbing double-crossing dirt bag such as yourself. No Dwightly boy I got plans for you."
Negan laughs again shaking his head in a slow deligert motion. The unease she had seen in Negan last night was gone, with his house in order he seemed lighter. Lifting his hand he flicks his fingers for her. She knows what that means so she goes to him, slipping up in the little space under his arm.
"How about it Princess I'm thinking of making Dwighty boy your new errand boy. What's Princess without a servant." He leans down when he speaks and makes a show of whispering but she knows everyone can hear them.
Pandora is at a loss for words, if she says no will he just kill him. Though part of her is sure this is not really a question, that part is for show. If Negan had really meant to ask her he would have done it when it was just the two of them. This is a question but with one one really answer.
"He'll do."