Chapter 55: It's over
Notes:
I like this chapter I know I saw that a lot but I really like this one. I think you are going to be happy with it honestly. I hope everyone is existing because sometimes that is all we got! This little baby brings me some joy in these really strange times.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Negan's men drag Dwight away int the sea of moving bodies around them. When it's all over Negan wraps his arm around her shoulders keeping her in close.
"I have a few more things to take care of Princess, but I'll meet you for dinner."
Pandora only nods. Hunter appears at her side, ready to lead her wherever she wants to go. She doesn't ask him to take her somewhere, she just starts walking towards her room. The layout of the building is more familiar now. It has to take her some time to get used to it. Most of the time she refused to pay attention, but now she wanted to know.
Back in her room, she doesn't spend any time there, she knows it's late. Instead, she changes into something she can work out in, puts on her running shoes and is back in the hallway.
"Can you take me to the workout room?"
Hunter is standing in the hallway, arms crossed over his chest. He gives her a once over, eyes stopping on her shoes. "Sure let's go."
There is a wave of anger deep inside her, buzzing energy that needs somewhere to go. Before all this, she and Daryl would go on rides, maybe find a walker or two. There was a war going on right now though, and there was no one to take her outside. So this is the next best thing, working the energy out, her brain silent for once. First if cardio, pushing herself on the bike until her legs felt like jello. Then it was bodyweight workouts until the only thing in her head was the screaming of her muscles.
"Pandora what the fuck?!"
Hunter is hovering somewhere around her, she isn't sure where since she is on all fours vomiting in a corner. Her head had been so damn loud today, it had taken pushing herself to this level to make it quiet in her brain. Now everything hurts, her lungs are screaming and her stomach is emptying itself on the floor. Or that's what she was doing. But not anymore.
Now though, Hunter is pulling her up to a standing position, and the world is tilting around her.
"He will kill me. Fuck!"
Pandora tries to talk to him, tell him it's fine, this is her fault. When she tries to open her mouth only a groan comes out. She must have blacked out for a bit because the next thing she knows she is in her room.
"What happened?" She can hear Negan's voice now, reaching her while she slept. A groan escapes her, and she rolls over, covering her face but not opening her eyes. Everything hurt, much as it had on the first day with Arat.
"She wanted to work out, so I took her. I waited outside until I heard her throwing up."
"Thanks, that's it for tonight Hunter. Be back here in the morning."
For a few long seconds, the room is silent. She takes only those few seconds to go back to sleep, breathing deep and even again. She drifts in and out of sleep after that, waking up when she hears Negan calling her name.
"Wake up, Princess." His hand moves a few heavy waves from her face. "You need to eat something."
Groaning, she tries to hide from him, bury herself deeper in the blanket.
"No, no. Food, then back to sleep."
Negan pulls all the covers off of her in one swift movement. Pandora is still wearing the same thing she worked out in. A tank top, sports bra and shorts. He turns to leave and goes back into the tiny kitchen.
Sighing, Pandora sets her legs over the side of the bed. The moment she has her feet down to stand, her legs crumple. She hits the ground hard, but she's only there for less than a minute before Negan is helping her up.
"Worked too hard there, Princess." Negan lifts her back into the bed and covers her up with the blanket again. He leaves her there but comes back with a steaming bowl of soup.
"Thank you." She takes it from him, the warmth seeps into her hands. There are a few silent moments as she eats, spooning the warm soup into her mouth.
"Busy day today, huh?"
It has been a busy day. It seems like forever since they woke up together. Since this morning he had killed Simon and exposed Dwight. Now it was the middle of the night and they were just stopping to eat.
"It has been, I'm so tired."
The bowl is empty in a few more spoonfuls and she sets it back on the bedside table. He adds his bowl to her own and settles on the bed beside her. Outside the sky is a sea of empty blackness. She must have been sleeping for hours.
"I didn't mean to hurt myself." She whispers, tucking herself back under the covers. Negan slips in bed beside her, pillowing his arm under his head. "It was just a long day."
"Don't worry about it, Princess. Where do you want to sleep tomorrow?" Negan reaches out the flickers off the light plunging the room into darkness.
"The Kingdom," she whispers in the darkness. "I haven't been there."
"I'll come back when it's over."
"What's your actual plan?"
Negan laughs, a little proud of himself. "When they show up to the outpost, I'll already be waiting."
"Then you will kill them?" There isn't any reason she needs this information, her nightmares don't need the fuel.
"I'll kill the leaders, and their right-hand men."
That makes her stomach tighten, she knows Rick's right hand is Daryl and Michonne. It tempts part of her to ask him to spare one of them. It is an insane thought, gone as abruptly as it comes.
"By tomorrow afternoon, this will all be over."
Pandora is a ball under the blankets now, knees up to her chest, holding them tightly. "Then we rebuild."
"That's right, then we rebuild."
"I'd like the farms to make bread again, I miss bread."
Negan laughs, patting her on the head before shifting his weight in the bed. "I'll make it happen for you Pandora. Anything else you want? "
"Are you going to kill Maggie?"
"The widow?"
"Ya."
"She's a leader."
"She is pregnant," Pandora whispers into the darkness.
"Dammit." Negan sighs. "Oh Princess, I should have included you more, huh? I won't make that mistake again. I won't kill her, but she can't stay there."
"Bring her to the Kingdom with us."
"Good idea. Want a drink?"
"I guess."
They drink together for a few hours, talk about what will come next. They stay up for a few more hours until there is no hint of light outside. Negan is explaining the fields he wants to plough for more food, somewhere in describing the location Pandora falls asleep.
The next morning he is up before her whispering in her ear to stay in bed, and that he was leaving Arat with her. Huffing a sigh, she rolled over and went back to bed. They had been up too late for her to make an argument for going with him. This might be the time he would say no to her so she doesn't bother, instead goes back to sleep with a small grin on her lips.
Pandora is somewhere between sleeping and waking, and that's where the sounds reach her. In her dream, she is eating on the roof with Negan a map between them. She knows Daryl is behind them, silent and unmoving.
"You are so good, Princess, I'll keep him alive for you." Negan then taps the map on the table in quick bursts. Then it gets more urgent until she can tell it's knocking than she is in her bed again. The sound is coming from her door, but the second she opens her eyes, the knocking stops and the door opens.
"Shit Pandora, you didn't hear me." Arat is standing in her kitchen, eyes narrow, glaring at Pandora who lays in a tangle of limbs and sheets.
Instead of an answer, Pandora waves her hand to the empty whiskey bottle on the nightstand.
"No wonder the price of booze is so high you and the big guy are drinking it away."
"Not every night." Now she is sitting up, smoothing down the wild mess of her hair. Her mouth is cotton, having slept too long with too little water. Head pounds, a dull ache in the back on her neck. Reaching to the back of her neck, fingers probing into the soft flesh with light pressure.
" Eat, pack, then we'll train. I'll be back in an hour." then the other woman is gone, leaving a steaming bowl on the table in Pandora's kitchen.
Pandora eats the bowl of scrambled eggs and veggies, she washes it and puts it all in the drying rack. She packs the bag next, starting in the bathroom and moving to the drawers and closet.
There are no real personal items she needs to bring; she doesn't have that here. Still, she packs two bags. One filled with clothes, the other with a mix of clothes and books. She tucks away Negan's spare leather jacket, just in case.
Pandora is changed and ready for when Arat comes back.
"I need a fucking minute." Pandora is panting her sideburns from a hit she hadn't dodged in time. It's been a long few days, there is still a bullet wound in her side. Anyone else would still be recovering, Pandora doesn't have time for that. Still, she feels the need to remind Arat that she was still healing, "Did you forget about my bullet hole?"
"Nope, I'm not hitting that side you didn't notice?" Arat looks like she is being serious. It doesn't feel like she had tempered the training at all. "Let's pack it in, then we should hear from the big guy soon, anyway."
"No!" Pandora is standing and in a ready position, hands up to protect her face. The noise in her head is so loud in an instant she doesn't hear the first few times Arat calls her name.
"Pandora." This time it's louder, with Arat standing right in her face.
"Arat I can't just sit around, not today."
Arat is silent for a few long seconds then lungs forward attempting to knock Pandora off her feet. She knew about Simon so Arat copies the encounter with her hand going for Pandora's throat. There isn't enough air even before Arat closes her hands.
Pandora has learned from last time, this time she raises her arms over her head and twists away. The way the weight shifts allows her to break the hold Arat has on her neck. A valuable lesson a little too late, but still needed.
"That's it." Arat claps her hands, laughing. "I prefer you go for the nuts with guys though. Now give me ten suicides."
By the end of suicides, Pandora is sweating while little drops of blood soak the shirt she is wearing. It's a cheap trick bodyweight exercise always knocks her in her ass, and Arat knows that. Laying on her back on the floor, her shirt sticking to her side.
"Should get that looked at Princess." Arat is pulling out her ponytail shaking her hair free.
"If I say I'm done, will you leave me alone?"
Pandora looks up at the ceiling and tests her legs to see if they can hold her. Then Arat sticks her hand out and helps haul her up to a standing position. Her side stings only a little, not as much pain as the last few days. Still, there are a few drops of blood spotting the fabric of her shirt. This is a good place to stop, she thinks, better now have Negan come back to her bloody.
"Fine, but only if you rest." Arat opens the door and leads them out. They head towards Negan's room before Pandora stops them.
"I need my bags." She doesn't want to be in her rooms but doesn't want to be left without her things. It isn't much, just extra clothes, a few books, things she wants. Three flights up, she is opening the door to her room and lifting the two bags from the bed. When she leaves the room again Arat has left in the time it took to get her bag and now Hunter stands in her place. Hunter nods at her and reaches for his larger bag.
"Let me help you, Princess." He lifts it over his shoulder and begins walking. "I heard something the other day."
Pushing the door open out into the hallway, Pandora glances back at him, one eyebrow raised. This is the most he has spoken to her in some time and a very bold question.
"Ok." She ventured a slight gestation in her voice as she slowed her pace to match his.
"One guy who does the night shift says you went to the Olympics. He remembers seeing you on TV."
Pandora cannot help but laugh. How strange that history always follows her, even here. Somehow she can still see it even now, their first-class seats. The other girl's tight lips smile and waves at the camera. In a flash, she is back there, in the locker her laughing with her team.
"I was a gymnast," She muses as they make their way together to Negan's room. "I was on team America. He's right. They flew me to Brazil. It was incredible."
"Huh, I owe him a pack of cigarettes." Hunter shrugs and reaches to open the door to Negan's room to let her inside.
After she has showered, cleaned and re-wrapped her side Pandora stands in the middle of the living room with nothing to do. It must be mid-afternoon by now, and they had not given her any word on the battle.
Unable to help herself, she finds herself in the bedroom reading his notebook. The plans he had for the future were grand. Hours passed away into nothing until a knock sounds on the door.
Flying from her chair, she had the door unlocked in seconds only to see Arat with a strange look on her face.
"Hey, Pris-Pandora. I got you something to eat." Arat steps into the kitchen, setting the bowl on the counter. She only just noticed that Arat had a bowl of her own. "Though you might like some company."
There is a sick feeling in her stomach now, a sense of wrong that she cannot seem to pinpoint. Everything is wrong, the food, Arat being here, everything. But somehow she cannot place where it was from. Something was wrong. The tightness in Arat's face tells her that.
They sit at the small table in the kitchen, one on either side of the table. They are both silent, spines drawn up in tight lines as they eat.
"What happened Arat." Pandora says, scoping the last of the pasta in her mouth. She chewed with slow, thoughtful bites, waiting in silence. After what seems like too much time has passed, Pandora lifts her eyes to Arat only to find the women staring out the painted-over windows.
"It's over," Arat whispers, "We lost."
At that moment, the world is nothing but silence. Arat's mouth id moving, which means she is speaking. Pandora hears nothing, it's like she is in a wind tunnel. All the sounds around her are sucked into a void of nothingness.
Then Arat is touching her, and the warmth of her hands sends all the sounds rushing back.
"Pandora?" The other women's voice is higher than pandora has ever heard it and tight down worry.
"He lost?" The war was over, just like he said it would be, but he was on the wrong side. Which means she was on the wrong side. All the things she had done to get here, all the bits of herself she had lost to ensure she was on the side that won, and now. The dam in her chest breaks and Pandora is curled into herself, sobbing.
Arat doesn't move for a second, unsure how to comfort her as she falls apart. She pats Pandora's back, before moving to make slow big circles. "Whatever we did, we are alive, we make up for it with the time we have left."
How can Arat know, how can she look at her crumpled sobbing form and just know? Stitching herself back together for a moment, Pandora takes a deep breath and sits up, hands still wrapped around her middle. "I can't see them, not yet I need." Pandora stops speaking. What does she need? Negan back? No, she didn't want that. Maybe a little, because everything was so damn easy. He kept her safe. Daryl here, maybe? Or just a few god damn minutes to herself, a Pandora free.
"Time? I get that take all the time you need. I still have a few guys to look out." Arat stands than brushing her hands on her jeans and shifting her weight. "Anyway, I gotta go, I'm helping with the guns, collecting them that is."
That is the last time Pandora opens the door for a while.
Notes:
And there we have it the war and over! This is going to leave Pandora where? Well, I know where kind of, so come back next time and find out! Leave me some comments if you feel like it! welcome to come of the new people I have been seeing!