Ten

The bed felt cold and Finnick couldn't sleep. He hadn't stopped getting up all night. Nothing worked: infusions, walks, not even a few push-ups to exhaust himself. He couldn't take any pills. He had long avoided everything that annulled his will because that brought back memories of horrible moments. He sat on the floor on top of the rug and rubbed his face several times. Estee was dead. Almost an entire day had gone by since the morning Katniss had found her next to her, lifeless, with half her body purple and her lips blue. Even if he had been smart enough to send her something for an infection and not a burn, he still wouldn't have saved her, not without some actual medical intervention. Or so he had been thinking all day to console himself. It was too quick a death, too stupid, how a single moment, a wound that shouldn't have been much of an obstacle had ended her in silence.

He didn't know what to do. It was too late to leave the building and too early to be hanging around. He didn't want to see the faces of the other mentors, especially the ones in 1 and 2, who would boast about how good their boys were, and he didn't feel ready to look at Haymitch either. He must've been on the verge of a heart attack, considering this was the first time any of his tributes had lasted as long as Katniss was. Where could she be now? Finnick hadn't lasted much longer in the room after seeing her shake Estee, calling out to her and standing in shock after, realizing she had left them. It was impossible to think of anything but the Games, and the truth was that his curiosity was just as powerful as his devastation, so he headed to the living room and looked up the day's summary on television. He advanced it until Katniss appeared, along with that girl from 11, who wasn't much, but silent and agile enough. That had helped her escape and hide well, which had much merit. He wasn't convinced that partnering with her was a good idea, not because they weren't useful for each other, but because he had the impression Katniss was going to watch yet another person die if she didn't first. No, she certainly wouldn't.

The girl, Rue, was also witty. She had called Katniss from the top of a tree, just above where the Careers were sleeping, to drop a tracker jacker nest hanging from one of the branches. The important task, that of cutting down the nest, was left to the girl from 12. She undoubtedly had reasons to want to see those boys suffer, enough to risk getting bitten too. Still, the decision implied showing a great courage.

"Bad idea," Finnick muttered, leaning forward on the sofa, so as not to miss any detail.

The nest did fall and the wasps went crazy when they touched the ground, so much so that two of the girls were so surrounded they died almost instantly. As if he had jinxed Katniss with his comment, she also wasn't spared from a couple of nasty looking bites on her hand and neck. Still, they didn't stop Katniss from stalking them until the other Careers fled. Why hadn't she left already? The cannons had sounded, they were dead. The girl descended from the tree, scratching her neck nonstop, and knelt next to the girl from 1, so swollen that she was impossible to recognize beyond her blond hair. Finnick shuddered, thinking of Katniss brushing Estee's hair out of her face to see what was wrong with her. He bit his lip hard and forced himself to keep looking.

He didn't know what she was looking for among her belongings that could be useful to her until he noticed how her face twisted as she reached for the arrows and bow that Glimmer carried. She had already taken the arrows, but she was inspecting the weapon with a disappointed frown. The rope was broken. The material seemed sturdy enough for something like that to happen and it was new, but it had undoubtedly been dislodged from its place, perhaps when the nest fell, or perhaps the girl had hit it while she was trying to get rid of the wasps. Katniss slammed it to the ground, scowling, and muttered something that sounded like an insult. Then, she started to walk away from there, although she was already reeling due to the bites she had received. Why was she acting like that?, Finnick thought, leaning back on the sofa. Any weapon was valuable there, true, but she had also gotten angry in the river when she saw the girl from 1 shoot, Estee had even had to pull her...

"Shit."

So it was that, he realized, the bow was what she secretly mastered. Now, she had to leave without her best chance to defend herself properly. After all, Finnick knew all too well what a difference attacking with the weapon you were familiar with made. His trident had been the most expensive gift in the history of the Games. It had been worth it then, because he lived, but the consequences it had brought him were not worth it. He would have preferred to die than have to give himself to strangers as he had until recently.

As soon as the repetition ended, Finnick went back to bed. The day he had just seen had already passed, but he hoped they were both safe. His jaw clenched at the thought. Why should he care? Robin hadn't even passed the first minute and Estee, who had had a chance, was gone. He no longer had tributes, he didn't have to worry about Katniss, or any of the others because it wasn't his job, right? For the rest of the day, he didn't bother to move again, even though he barely slept, he just waited until nightfall to turn the TV back on. Neither Rue nor Katniss appeared again all day, only once when Katniss was muttering in her sleep, probably unwell from the bites she had received. On the other hand, the Careers were making the Cornucopia their refuge and their storehouse for resources. By the time morning came, Finnick decided he had been moping enough.

Showing up in the room with the other mentors after losing his children was nothing new. He had had to put up with it many times, so why did it hurt so much this time? What the hell was he going to do now? He couldn't help but think of Haymitch and how he had told him he needed to save someone, even if it was just the one. He had no more tributes left, though… there was still something he could do about it. Even though the idea was quite dangerous itself, why fool himself? He didn't care if it was, he didn't care about what could happen to him because he had nothing else to lose. He only had himself and his dignity had been left behind years ago. When he arrived at the meeting room acting was easy, after all that was the only side of him they knew, the perfect Finnick Odair, despite the fact that each step his throat tightened a little more. He just had to show a small smile here and there, let them tell him it was a shame he had lost his tributes, and look for Haymitch like he didn't really mean to. Although he was not alone, no one was paying him much attention.

"Odair," he pronounced, surprised to see him appear. "I'm sorry, boy."

Finnick made his way between a couple of women with a wink they clearly loved, but when he sat down next to 12's mentor the smile had already faded from his face.

"Katniss is being very clever. Something new?"

Haymitch shook his head, before looking up at him.

"Your girl was too. She even talked some sense into Katniss, knowing how stubborn she is."

Finnick smiled slightly. At least her presence had been worth something and Katniss had listened to him too, for she had allied with Estee in the end without hesitation.

"Meet me in my room when the broadcast is over, okay?" he muttered to Haymitch, then cleared his throat covertly.

He made a funny face, but nodded. Finnick stood there for a while, chatted about how the bets were going, talked to people he knew, and had a couple of drinks, but nothing crazy. Getting information was never inconvenient, whether you were in the game or not, and neither did he want to appear too suspicious by not being seen for so many days in a row. He finished watching that day upstairs, alone, and when the anthem played, without any deaths, there was a quick knock against his door. Haymitch entered without even saying hello, although he didn't seem as angry as usual, nor did he reek of alcohol.

"How punctual," Finnick commented.

"I'm in a hurry, boy. I feel like sleeping," he protested, before following him into the living room. "What's this about, Odair? Another super secret meeting? They'll begin to think you're into me."

Finnick laughed, taking no offense. He knew Haymitch understood what his life was like, because the same thing had been done to him, or at least they had tried with different results. The list of people he trusted was short: Johanna Mason, Maggs, him and that was about it.

"I've slept with guys who were way worse than you." Haymitch gave him a sidelong glance as he sat down and he laughed again. "Sorry. Listen…I've been thinking about something."

"Is that why you haven't shown up for two days? I thought you would be...

Depressed? Devastated? Haymitch stopped short of saying it. Everything seemed too complicated now, but once he went home and had to face Robin and Estee's families, then it would be even worse. He couldn't think about it without shaking.

"Yeah, well, apart from that... how about having a real alliance?"

"What do you mean? You have no tributes left."

"Like you haven't ever helped Chaff sending one of his kids a damn bread roll for their last day on earth," Finnick replied, perhaps a little too harshly, because Haymitch just stared at him, silent. Finnick sighed. "No one here will listen to us. Aren't you tired of watching kids die? Yours, mine...all of them."

Haymitch frowned.

"Why do you think I drink, boy? Where are you going with this?"

Finnick fidgeted a little, nervously. How could he convince him?

"What Katniss said the other day about the berries, that then no one would have to win if they ate them... It seems to me her bravery could be seen as threatening."

"I know. Why would she even say that aloud? I told her to keep her thoughts to herself."

"I think she also suspects something."

Then Haymitch did seem more interested.

"About?"

"You really watch over your kids well, huh? She caught me talking to the wrong person one of the first days, she was walking around."

"Who did she see you with?"

"Some judge. A former client," Finnick added, in a whisper.

"Fuck. Has Snow called you again?"

The concern in his voice was noticeable, so much that Finnick was almost touched.

"No, he hasn't in two years." It was quite a miracle, he thought. "If your girl wins and she's the first girl to ever win in 12, that's going to be all they talk about. And she's pissed off."

"Very," Haymitch agreed.

"So, my point is, if what she is sent comes only from the two of us and not from some depraved, sicko..."

"She won't owe anyone anything when she gets out, correct?" Haymitch ventured. "If she does. And what is it you think she needs to win?"

Many things: courage, which she already had, not having any scruples, which was almost impossible, and…a good weapon. That was the only thing money could buy.

"I've seen the look on her face when she saw the bow the girl had. Don't take anyone's money, Haymitch. I have many friends who owe me favors. I know too much too, no one will know."

That was his offer, to truly help Katniss, even if he didn't have anyone inside any longer. He had told her on the rooftop that day, that she should go back home only because of her bravery and her sacrifice for her sister.

"You'll do that?" Haymitch asked, stunned.

"Why not? Maybe I want the winner to deserve it."

Haymitch paced the room for a moment, scratching his forehead, as if he were considering it, until he stopped in front of Finnick and patted him on the back.

"We should do this more often, Odair."

A smile made its way back to his face, while relief ran through his body. As dangerous as it was, it had been a long time since Finnick had felt so determined, or so revived. He needed a purpose and if his had already died with Estee, then he would create a new one. If Katniss won, her life wouldn't be like his, because no one deserved to go through that ever again.

"Maybe if you drank less, you'd come up with these things."

"Not a chance, boy," he teased, though afterwards he squeezed his shoulder hard, affectionately. "Hey, I appreciate that, but… are you sure, Finnick? If Snow finds out about any of this, we could be in big trouble."

Finnick shook his head slightly. He had been silent for a long time, knowing too much not to do something. He felt like he would use all he knew sooner or later, and this was a good start, a good deed.

"I'm sure if you're up for it."

Haymitch nodded, convinced.

"Of course. Let's screw the old geezer over."

A big thank you for everyone reading, following, commenting this fic. I appreciate the support!