Fourteen

The yellow dress, despite its sheen and how it made waves when she moved even slightly, was the simplest thing Cinna had designed for her. If it weren't for the unusual color, it might even have been a dress she could own. It was possible now that she no longer had to attract so much attention, she reflected as she looked at herself in the mirror, since she had already won.

"Do you like it?"

Katniss nodded, looking at him in the reflection of the mirror.

"It's very comfortable."

And more than comfortable, it didn't make her feel like she was some stranger masquerading as something she actually wasn't.

"We'll let your hair down today."

Cinna rearranged her long hair, which was styled in soft waves that looked like hers, almost untouched. Her makeup could also go unnoticed, in neutral colors, even in the nail polish, and shoes with tiny heels. Her appearance was in striking contrast to hers before the Games and even more so to how she had been after. There was no trace of the bruised, tired, and angry girl who had walked out of the Arena. She supposed that was the image Haymitch wanted to present to the world as well: a disadvantaged young woman who had been transformed. It had only been possible thanks to the opportunity to succeed the Capitol had given her.

"Everything will be fine, Katniss," Cinna encouraged her, taking her nervousness away. "You'll go home tomorrow."

"Thank you, Cinna," she murmured, giving him one last hug. "For everything."

He had supported her at all times, had made her shine and respected her wishes to the best of his ability. And all without treating her with the disdain and artificiality Katniss would have expected from a Capitol employee. The rest of the prep team had been just as happy to see her again, alive, but there was something about Cinna's measured smile that told her he was truly sorry for what had happened.

Leaving the room, she met with her mentor. The interview was the first thing, then she would be crowned by President Snow, and lastly, the dinner and party in her honor would take place. The idea of celebrating her going back home would have been a something to enjoy if it weren't for the fact many other kids never would.

"Remember what you have to do," Haymitch warned her quietly as they headed for the car that would take them to the presidential mansion. "They can't stand being laughed at and you've already threatened them with your little arrow before the Games started, talked about committing suicide on television, mourned Rue..."

Katniss swallowed. Put like that, none of it sounded sensible at all. The berries thing had just been an angry comment that had slipped out when Estee asked her what they would do if the two of them faced each other. "We could eat the berries we saw the other day. Then no one would win", she recalled. She didn't think it was important enough to be broadcast. Clearly, she was mistaken.

"I have done it to honor my district, yes, I know. And for my sister, am I allowed to say that?"

"The people in the Capitol will like it," Haymitch agreed. "A story of sacrifice being rewarded. Be very careful, Katniss. You don't want to upset the wrong person and especially not Snow."

"Why?"

Haymitch stopped, frowning clearly.

"What do you mean, why? Because he's the president. Isn't that enough?"

Sure, but there was something else she was worried about. There was something they weren't telling her, she suspected it since she had met Finnick Odair discuss she didn't know what in secret. Later, other things had seemed suspicious: Haymitch's little act on Harvest Day, his warnings…

"Yes, but there's something else. One of the first days, I accidentally went down to the entrance and…"

"I know what you're going to say, girl," he interrupted. "You're clearly out of your mind."

"Did he tell you?" Haymitch nodded. "What was it all about? And don't lie to me, I'm not an idiot."

He looked up and down the hall before answering, his tone serious enough to chill Katniss.

"You'll have to ask him. But if you want a reason to pretend how delighted you are… remember that everything will be taken from you if you don't behave as expected. Do you know my family?"

"No."

"Do you know why you don't? Because they took them from me," he added in an angry whisper. "Because I didn't behave as I should've, for not doing anything they asked me to. We're all slaves here, the winners, the losers…Everyone has an owner."

What was that supposed to mean? That they had been killed because of him? Katniss was so numb she didn't know what to say. So, what was the point of winning the Games, then?

"And what can they ask of me?"

"Let's hope they never want anything. Understood?"

The way he grabbed her arm, combined with the fear she recognized in his eyes, scared her so much she could only nod her head several times. She just wanted the night to pass quickly, get on the train and return home, though if Haymitch was right, then it didn't matter if she had won: she was one of Snow's captives for the rest of her life. Actually, they always were. After all, they were subject to the Games, either oneself or your loved ones, immersed in a cycle that never ended. However, what she thought was his escape, the victory, was only an illusion.

The only thing she had in mind when she arrived at the stage they had set up in the presidential mansion was Haymitch's serious tone urging her to lie. Caesar Flickerman waved to the audience as the hymn boomed around her. Every step Katniss took to the seat next to him felt like torture. Not only did she have to think about what she would say, if she could even think of something that would prevent her from sitting with a dull face in uncomfortable silence, now she also had to keep track of her gestures, a smile that did not exist... All while considering if something she could say would have an impact on those who were waiting for her at home. The audience was packed, with a crowd that hadn't stopped applauding since they saw her appear. Before beginning they also introduced her team, Haymitch and Effie.

"Congratulations, Katniss," Caesar wished her, "how are you feeling?"

"A little nervous about the interview," she answered, with a shy smile that at least seemed innocent.

"Don't worry, we're going to have a great time tonight," he said looking at the audience, causing them to scream with excitement. "We can't start without checking your best moments in the Arena first. Let's see them!"

Before she could process it, because, to be honest, what psychopath would want to relive something like that?, they were already broadcasting footage of the Games on the giant screen. They started with her in the platform, then in the woods with Estee, then Rue, her crossing the river, her suffering and killing Cato at the end, among other moments. Although she had lived it, when observing it from the outside it seemed as if it were another person, another life, something alien to her. Despite the fact that all she wanted to do was yell at them that they had no idea what she had done to make them content, she chose to remain serious, without being too afflicted.

"Katniss, I know you've suffered a lot to win, right?" Caesar asked, grabbing her hand.

"It's been hard," she admitted, lowering her gaze.

"When you were in there, did you imagine yourself here, about to be crowned victor?"

She smiled slightly.

"Always. Isn't that what we all want?"

Some people shouted from the audience.

"Of course. I have to ask you. You've lost some of your allies in such painful ways…what was on your mind then? How did you go ahead?"

Katniss paused before answering, she couldn't screw up now.

"I just wanted…I just wanted to save Prim," she answered in the end, with a sad tone that wasn't faked. "I hope she is proud of her sister. I'm looking forward to seeing her."

"Sure she is, just like all of us. Right, folks?"

After another roar from the audience, the anthem was played again. They got up, accompanied by the cameras, as they had to follow her going outside. From the balcony of the mansion the whole world would see her being crowned by the president. If she had thought there were too many people on the set, in the rest of the mansion and in the garden, where they would later celebrate, there were more guests. Everything was overloaded, with the decoration everywhere, the lights, the flashes and the shouts of the people who did not want to miss any of her movements. By the time she reached the balcony and recognized President Snow's face under the spotlights, Katniss felt she would fall at any moment due to the pressure, but she couldn't show it, nor did she want to. She walked decisively and stood in the exact place she had been indicated. She looked straight ahead seriously and waited for the president to arrive, accompanied by a girl carrying the crown.

He was shorter than he appeared on the screens, but his gaze was much crueler. He had barely stopped in front of her, but Katniss noticed the strong scent of roses he gave off as he walked.

"Miss Everdeen," she greeted solemnly, "congratulations."

"Thank you, sir," she murmured, still looking into his eyes.

He placed the crown on top of her hair and smiled at her in a way that nearly froze her.

"An unexpected victory. Quite a surprise for a young lady like you. They must be very proud in your district."

As he pushed away from her side and waved to the crowd, among the shouts at him and the girl on fire, Katniss continued speaking, her lips barely breaking.

"I hope so, sir," she said, trying to sound convincing. "It's the only thing I want."

The president looked at her one last time, with a tiny nod and something that resembled a smirk, and then walked off the balcony ahead of her. She followed him, barely able to move, for the crown was heavy, and she found herself facing Haymitch.

"How was I?"

"Very good, very well played. Let's get something to eat, don't go overboard with the drinks, okay?," she advised him, as they descended the stairs.

Until she reached the tables with the food, dozens of strangers stopped her to congratulate her, others tried to touch her, to which Haymitch reacted by moving the hands away from her as she passed. She was only able to take a few bites of the canapés, because after learning they were eating and making themselves vomit to taste every dish, she lost her appetite. At least she couldn't see the president anywhere anymore, among the guests, the loud music, and the wild laughter. She was trying to get rid of some of Effie's friends, when a familiar voice appeared behind her.

"Congratulations," said the unmistakable voice of Finnick Odair in her ear. "Smile a little, Katniss. You're still alive."

Thanks to you, she thought to herself before turning around. There he was, with her classic smile and a pristine white shirt that further highlighted his tan, and the gold in his hair. It was incredible to think that someone like that had changed the direction of her life so drastically.

"A drink for the winner!," he yelled suddenly, only to have someone appear with some champagne. When he handed it over, he leaned into her. "Follow me behind in a couple of minutes."

She didn't even know which way to go to the back of the garden, but it would be nice to get away from the noise for a moment. Besides, the least she could do was to truly thank him. Somehow, she managed to slip away without being followed, maybe they were too drunk already to care about where she was going. The garden was neatly mowed, and after passing a couple of stone benches, she found him sitting, waiting.

"Hello, Finnick."

"The winner, at last. There's still a lot of the night ahead, I advise you to cheer up a bit."

Did she have a reason to do it? Katniss sat down next to him, putting down the glass she hadn't even touched.

"Haymitch already gave me the talk on how to behave, I don't need you to repeat it."

In the darkness, Finnick took a sip from his glass and glanced at her sideways, his face more serious than a second ago.

"There's a lot at stake, you know. It is not about what may happen to you. It's about your family, even your friends."

Katniss felt her stomach drop. She didn't know if she wanted to hear it.

"I'm sorry, I'm just…I'm exhausted. I just want to go home," she sighed, he could understand that, surely, after all he had already been through the same thing. "That's what happened to Haymitch and his family, isn't it? He hasn't told me much, actually."

Finnick was silent for so long after Katniss spoke, she feared she had screwed up and said something wrong.

"Yeah. The same thing that happened to me," he said quietly, not looking at her. "Because I refused many times."

"You refused what?"

"To be sold."

She felt him breathing heavily next to her, though she was still puzzled.

"I don't understand you."

"And I hope you never do, Katniss. Look, I just want to warn you, not scare you, okay? When…when they consider you desirable, they offer you to the highest bidder. Your opinion is worthless, they don't even care that you won."

"Desirable," Katniss repeated, beginning to feel like they were speaking a different language. "What…what are you talking about?"

Plunged into a deep silence, discomfort rose up her spine. When she looked at Finnick, she saw his lips purse in a very weird way.

"Your body," he replied grimly. "That's what I'm talking about."

"Your body?"

There was a sound of someone passing nearby, causing Finnick to get up quickly. Then he turned around, covering her, and drank again. Katniss supposed the last thing she needed was for them to be recognized talking in the dark, but she was so stunned she didn't even think about it.

"My trident was the most expensive gift they've ever sent, it still is," he explained, once the people had moved away. "It had a price in return and it was not money I gave in its place."

Something in Katniss's mind clicked upon hearing it and she was transported back to 12. She knew many girls, unfortunately, some still kids, who sold themselves to the old Cray in exchange for some money to eat. Finnick, who kept being portrayed as a heartthrob…was that what they made him do? It couldn't be out of necessity.

"Finnick... That's... that's disgusting," she stammered. "I'm sorry. I'm very sorry."

She didn't know what to do but squeeze his hand a little, embarrassed, until he returned her gesture. What could she say to something like that? Was this what Haymitch was so afraid would happen to her?

"It's over for me," he said, exhaling deeply. "It's gross, but people liked me better when I was a minor."

Katniss had to hold on tight to the bench. Suddenly, her yellow dress seemed too thin and the air chilled her.

"I think I'm going to throw up," she murmured.

"It's not going to happen to you, Katniss."

He said it with such confidence she wanted to shout, ask him how he was so sure, but she shut her mouth. He had must been through such a horrific time… and he had saved her life for no reason.

"You have to be an exemplary winner. Be grateful, act as much as you can," he advised. "Haymitch will find a way to not introduce you as someone like me, someone familiar, the pride of 12, its first female victor or something."

Her breath caught in her throat. What did it all mean? That they were planning to protect her from a danger she hadn't been aware of until this very moment? They barely knew her, much less Finnick.

"You don't have to. Why have you done all this…why are you telling me? You've already saved me."

For a moment, Katniss caught a glimpse of a smile on his face.

"I would've liked to save myself. I would've liked to take Estee and Robin back home. It's impossible, but we can save you."

"That bow saved me," she admitted. That was the whole truth. "I already owe you, for life."

"Didn't you hear me? You don't owe anybody nothing because Haymitch has worked hard to be there and I got to support him, okay? Besides, what are you talking about, a debt for a lifetime? Do you like me that much, Everdeen?"

Katniss gave a slight smile. She preferred to see him like this, joking, even if it was at her expense.

"Shut up," she protested, trying to contain herself. "I'm being serious."

"Me too, you don't owe me anything, really." Then he stood up and reached into his pants' pocket. "I have another thing for you. Letters aren't safe, and neither are phones, so never say anything that might sound suspicious. Even so... if you want to talk, or if you think of how to pay me for that huge debt you have with me..."

He handed her a tiny piece of paper which Katniss took without hesitation. The string of numbers meant nothing to her.

"But I don't even have a phone."

"You'll have one. Let's go back before someone misses you."

She let him go a little ahead and then followed him, but around the corner, when she was already hearing the music again, she decided she hadn't said everything she had to and took a little run.

"Finnick," she stopped him, trying not to raise her voice too loud. "You aren't like I thought you would be."

"Thank goodness," he replied, smiling. "Have a good trip back home, Katniss."

It was the first time he had called her by her name.

The Games are definitely over now and we're going home! I'm very excited for the story now, thanks everyone for your support. I hope you have enjoyed this one!