Fifteen
Her new house, more than a house, looked like a palace. It was made of stone, clad in some strong material, like a minature version of the presidential mansion. It was the same as Haymitch's, in fact, it was opposite his, right next to Michael Elwood's and surrounded by the rest of houses that remained empty. Her old house was but a shack compared to this one. Now she could even have her own room, no longer sharing with Prim. No more creaking floors, narrowly spaced rooms, leaks, and a porch barely standing by itself. It was a good change, but that didn't stop her from feeling a hole opening up in her stomach at the thought of how she'd obtained it. Katniss pulled back the curtain in the window and leaned out to watch the path to her house, not noticing a single movement.
"Who are you waiting for?", she heard her father ask behind her back.
"Haymitch has some of my stuff."
She didn't even know if he had kept it or no. What she was missing were just the letters she had written in case she didn't come home, now they didn't even matter anymore, but among them she hoped there would be the one Alder had written to his family. She hadn't seen them at the reception they had given her just two days before and she supposed it was better that way. Thinking about going to his house to give them his last words made her tremble, but it was what she had to do, it was what Alder had asked her and she wasn't going to break her promise.
Katniss turned and looked first at her father searching through a couple of boxes, then at Prim, snuggled up with Buttercup in an armchair at their new spacious living room. It wasn't even the only one, since the house had another dining room in addition to the kitchen and another small room on the top floor that looked like an office. It was far more than they would ever need to live on, maybe even bigger than Madge's house. The proof were the few belongings they had taken from their house: the cat, all their clothes and some photos and objects belonging to her mother. When she was about to sit next to her sister, she heard a couple of knocks on the door. For the moment, Haymitch didn't seem the least bit drunk, just tired. Maybe it was because it was too early, or maybe having brought someone back alive had made him happy enough that he didn't have to drown his sorrows.
"Hello, sweetheart," he greeted her. "Benton."
"Good morning."
He immediately handed her a small stack of envelopes which Katniss took with relief. She would get rid of them soon, once she had found Alder's letter.
"Well, what do you think of the house?"
"It's a little empty," her father said.
"It's huge," Katniss added.
They had left them a catalog to decorate and furnish the house to their liking, so she would probably look at it with Prim to distract her, even if she did not want to ask for anything. She had cried like a little girl when she met her again and the first night they had ended up in the same bed, as they used to sleep back at home. Not everything hurt as much as Katniss had imagined. They could invite the Hawthornes for lunch or dinner whenever they wanted now, they had given her far more money than she expected and supplies for her District that would last the whole year. At least the people of the Seam wouldn't have to ask for so much food and there would be less chances of them dying in the Games. They were all going to benefit from what she had done, wrong or not. At least if she continued acting carefully…
"Shouldn't we go to the kitchen?" Haymitch asked suddenly. "Do you have something to drink?"
Her father turned to her while Katniss gave her mentor a stern look.
"No alcohol, Haymitch."
He rolled his eyes.
"I was thinking about a cup of coffee. Benton, can I ask you something?"
Before his father could react, Haymitch was already leaning into his ear. What was up with him now?
"Yes, of course. We have some," his father replied, though Katniss was sure that wasn't what they were whispering about.
They headed into the pristine white kitchen and Katniss's doubts were dispelled when she saw her father take out some paper and a pencil for Haymitch to write on. "Be careful what you say. You have microphones in the house and you have to look for them NOW."
Her father's eyes widened in panic for a second, but surprise quickly turned into a scowl identical to her own.
"I'll get you a cup and then we'll show you the rest, if you want" Katniss spoke. They needed some excuse if they were really listening.
They followed Haymitch's scribbled instructions: to look inside the lamps, along the shelves and under the tables until they found a pair of tiny microphones on each floor, plus another in the office. "Leave two. Don't let them get suspicious," he advised them. In the end, they settled on one in the upstairs hallway and one in the office, where they were less likely to talk about anything suspicious or compromising. That way they would always hear something while moving up and down, and wouldn't question it even if the rest didn't work as they should. At least in the room that would now be Katniss's there was none, or they weren't able to find one. She still hadn't sorted anything out of her few boxes, not even the clothes. They were about to leave the room when she saw Haymitch walking near the nightstand, eyeing the mockingjay pin, which she'd been able to bring home intact, luckily. Almost like her.
"I couldn't ask you there. Where did you get that?"
"Madge gave it to me. She's the mayor's daughter."
"I know that," Haymitch told her. "This belonged to her aunt, did you know?"
No, I didn't know that, Katniss thought.
"She and Madge's mother were twins," she remembered. "Mom was friends with both of them."
"She was called Maysilee," her father pointed out. "I do remember her well."
"She was at the Games with me," Haymitch spoke suddenly, after caressing the pin with a care that was much unlike him. Katniss and her father looked at each other in silence.
"What happened to her?"
"We were twice as many tributes, because of the Quarter Quell. You could say she was my…Estee, my Rue. She was killed by a flock of birds."
In horror, Katniss looked at the mockingjay and then at her father. What cruel and ironic ways fate had to take your life from you.
"That's terrible."
Haymitch put the pin back on the table, exhaled sharply, and headed for the door.
"I have something else for you," he announced, as they followed him down the stairs. "It's in the entrance, I wasn't sure you would want to keep it."
What was he referring to? She couldn't figure out what he was talking about until she made out the long black box that had given her so much, leaning against the front of the house. The bow. It had offered her hope, above all, and also a chance to live, to be honest.
"Yes," she answered almost without thinking. "Yes, I do."
"You don't have to hunt anymore," his mentor murmured.
They both exchanged a look, while his father still reached them. That was not the reason to keep it and they both knew it perfectly.
"I didn't know you had brought it."
"And this," he told her.
Katniss took the paper, trying not to react when she realized it was the note Finnick had sent her with the bow. She folded it and put it in her pocket as soon as she recognise it. She was grateful that Haymitch wasn't laughing at her, not making fun of what it had meant for her, he certainly understood that.
"See you."
"Thank you, Haymitch."
He didn't say anything else, just waved at them as he walked away. Her father closed the door behind the two of them and Katniss carried the box inside.
"We don't have to be so careful down here. You can say it."
Her father leaned on the cane until they reached the kitchen.
"What?"
"That I shouldn't keep it."
He looked at her for a moment, shaking his head a little.
"Why would I say that?"
Katniss entertained herself opening the box and unwrapping the bow, as elegant and shiny as the first day she had seen it to let him hold it.
"It doesn't look like mine," his father commented.
Not at all, and that also made her feel more torn.
"I hate it and it still reminds me that…"
"It saved your life," he completed.
"Yeah."
"Do you know the sponsor who sent it to you? That note isn't from Haymitch, is it?"
How could he never miss anything? Katniss set the bow down on the counter and glanced at the box out of the corner of her eye. She still hadn't had time to write down Finnick's number but she kept it safe and she did have a phone, right in that room.
She only had two options: lie to him or be honest. The lie would protect him, but who wanted to protect whom more? She couldn't hide that much from her father and she was certain he was only asking because his concern was killing him. She would tell him the rest in due time, when she was ready to talk about it, now she just wanted to rest with the two of them.
"I actually know, yes."
"It must have been very expensive."
She shrugged a bit.
"I guess."
She didn't want to think about that either.
"And what did this person want in return? No one makes a gift like this without expecting something."
"Nothing at all, Dad," she answered, lowering her voice, not wanting Prim to hear any of this conversation. "Don't worry about that."
"How can you be so sure?"
"Because if someone knew… things would get very ugly for him."
"Him," her father stressed, looking at her.
"Him, yes."
Her father looked at her for a moment and then his gaze became softer. He was probably thinking of Cinna, they all had seen him at the Games and Katniss had told them about him when she arrived. She had explained he was the most modest person she had ever met in the Capitol, because she thought he would have been reassured knowing she was well taken care of. It was also well-known that their teams couldn't bet on anyone, so it fitted her story. It was better that way.
"What does all of this mean, Katniss?" he asked, the weariness present in his voice. "Now we have microphones in our house? Although it doesn't even surprise me that much coming from the Capitol…They are capable of something like that."
He didn't really want to know what they were truly capable of, and neither did she. If she thought about what Finnick had told her that last night, her stomach twisted.
"It's the same there. No, much worse," she corrected herself, after sighing. "People are so…strange, they are in a different world. Do you know what they do at parties? They gorge themselves and then vomit to continue trying everything."
"And the rest of us starve in the meantime," her father muttered under his breath.
"It turns out all that does not matter, you have to do as if nothing has happened. We have to be thankful for…a new life."
"I know, Katniss." She noticed from his reply he had understood her warning. "Listen, I just want my daughters to be okay. As I've always done."
He caressed her hand a little, then gestured to his ear.
"Does it hurt?"
"No, not anymore."
"How did you sleep today?"
"Not very well, not much either. Prim can't stay with me anymore or I'll end up throwing her out of bed."
"You've given her some good kicks, yes."
Katniss gave a sad smile and looked down.
"I'm having nightmares."
"I'm worried about you having them and I'd also be worried if you didn't," her father confessed gently. "You did everything you had to, you're back. We cannot be more proud of you. Of you, not because of the glory, or victory. We've all seen how you protected all of your friends. I know my daughter. You've always been a fighter because you have it inside you. Now you can stop fighting, alright?"
Katniss gave him a little hug that served to ease the tension she felt in her body a bit and just as she broke away from him, Prim appeared at the door.
"We could buy Buttercup a bed."
"Oh, Prim," Katniss laughed. "Think of something for you."
"It's for me, it's what I want."
His father smiled, delighted.
"And maybe a floral wallpaper for the living room?", her sister suggested later. "Mom would have liked it. Everything is so white."
"Yeah, good idea, honey," her father said, and then kissed her on the forehead.
"A big table for the Hawthornes to come to eat every weekend."
At each suggestion Katniss smiled a little more. It was all that empathy and kindness that had made her jump to his sister's defense without hesitation. For that alone it had been worth it. She wrapped her arms around her shoulders and held her tight.
"Don't even doubt that."
Hey, I'm alive! Thanks to everyone supporting this fic, you're the best :)