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Dick Wolf owns everything

Bottles

He took a deep breath in, trying to get himself ready for this conversation. But Olivia was having none of that.

She sighed bitting her lip and played with the bottle in her hands. He could tell she had a myriad of things running through her mind and him making her wait was just a little cruel.

"Look Liv, the reason I asked you here tonight is…" he took a deep breath in and pushed his eye brows together as he prepared himself to finally say this out loud.

But Olivia must have taken his look for something else. Just as he was going to continue she cut his thoughts short and she huffed out, "You're leaving… right… that's what this is…" and she turned to the bar, almost bracing herself gripping the edge, waiting for him to tell her that was it.

Waiting for the blow that was going to crush her.

How could he say he was ready to come back… definitely… knowing he wasn't. How could he leave… how? Instantly it was crippling her.

He was a little shocked. She thought he was leaving her, even though he said he was ready to come back. How could he leave her?

And she said it as if he could. Like it would be easy for him. Did she really think after ten years that he could just… walk away? Walk away from her?

As many times as Kathy had tried to get him to retire or leave SVU he couldn't. He just couldn't. And more so he didn't want to.

It had been a month of not seeing her, not working with her and all he had done in this break was sign papers, meet with lawyers, move his stuff and make sure his kids were ok. And even though he was getting his life in order and one would think his mind was overwhelmed and full, she was never not on his mind.

He had spent this month wondering how she was… what was she doing? Was she ok, and who was watching her back.

And it wasn't because she couldn't do the job or he had to keep checking on her to make sure she was ok, no it wasn't that. It was because he was here partner.

Because no one had her back like he did.

And at night his mind would be full of her. Nothing but her. Nothing but where she was and who she was with… and he'd been kidding himself if he used the excuse of being single now for the reason she was slithering in…

He had always thought of her. Except now he had concrete images of her in black lace walking out of the bathroom asking if he was ready for her forever in his mind.

And it always brought him to the moment that changed everything. All he could think was not wanting to tell her no. Wanting to tell her yes. Wanting it to be just them… real… and not a UC… not having Bushido and Tybor standing there so he could tell her yes.

Yes he was ready for her… that he'd been ready for her for longer than just in that moment when she changed everything.

Clearly he had been lost in his own head for too long and Olivia stood up placing her hands flat on the bar.

"Elliot… I…" she started but nothing else came out. Her mind was spinning. He was leaving her. This was it, and it had taken all the air out of her lungs.

She could feel her pulse in her ears and her vision was becoming blurry. The sting of tears she couldn't keep at bay were pricking her eyes and she couldn't let him see her like this. This realization was slicing her open and she needed a moment. She needed a moment but knew there would never be enough time in the world to heal this wound.

The gaping wound that Gitano had ripped open in both of them, that had started to heal, had just been torn open again.

It sliced through all the scar tissue cutting harder and deeper than she could have imagined.

Her breathing was becoming a little ragged and the only thing that kept her from tumbling down into the dark abyss that was waiting for her was his hand suddenly gripping the back of her arm.

It felt like home instantly. This touch… this touch she knew. His touch. It has powers over her she couldn't explain and instead of standing on the precipice of her unknown fate without him, she was gripped into a muscle memory of complicated connection. One she thought was unbreakable.

He had grabbed her like this before a handful of times, sometimes to save her from pain, other times because he was in pain.

And it was his favorite place to hang on to softly… when they were on the street and he was trying to catch up, or when he wanted to lean in close to whisper something he didn't want others to hear… Maybe because it was the safest, but it was something distinctly them and she'd never let just anyone grab her that way.

She needed to revel in the moment of it because this would be the last time. The last time he would touch her, the last time she would see him… and it was breaking her.

"Liv…" he said but she was struggling to hang on. She couldn't look at him. Her world was crumbing and he seemed so… relaxed.

How? How did he seem ok with this? Maybe she didn't mean as much to him as she thought. And the thought clutched at her chest and suddenly she was angry.

She ripped her arm from him and met his eyes with a sharp cutting look because it was all she had left in her.

"Liv it's not-"he started to say but she cut him off.

"Why didn't you call me? I'm you're partner… I know Kathy has wanted you to retire but how could you just…" she stopped because she just couldn't wrap her mind around how he seemed so ok with this.

She couldn't even say the words, "leave me…". They echoed in her head and she felt a wave of pain.

How was he so ok with this decision?

His drive for justice and helping victims was just as strong as hers. It's part of why they worked so well together. It was part of why she… and she had to stop that line of thinking because she was only hanging on by a thread now.

She decided her only option was to let rage take over because her mind and soul and heart just couldn't hold it together except with anger right now. So she clung to it, feeling it start to bubble up under her skin.

"Liv relax…" he said almost laughing.

How the fuck did he think this was funny. How could he be so cavalier about no longer being her partner.

No longer seeing her everyday… sharing meals with her… going at a perp in the box and seeing justice come to the survivors.

She felt her world tilting and felt like her body wasn't her own. This was too much. Too much to think that what they are wasn't real. That what they meant to each other was… nothing.

After ten years…

"Fuck you Elliot." She said trying to muster up as much anger to cover the pain in her voice but it was thinly veiled. She went to leave, but he grabbed her again.

This time he gripped her arm tight. His hand was like a vise and even if she pulled he wasn't going to let go. She knew he'd never hurt her, and all she'd have to do was tell him to let go and he would. But her body was on the brink of crumbling and she could feel herself starting to shake.

Even if she wanted to, she wouldn't be able to get the words out to tell him to let go.

He whipped her around to him and his face was inches from hers. The laughter was gone and his eyes were piercing and steel blue. She could feel them hitting in her stomach. If she had any breath left they would have taken it.

"Liv…" he said, his voice low and raspy, "I'm not leaving… take a breath… and just… just come sit back down." He finished.

He saw the pain in her face, the tears in her eyes… and the slow register of what he just said to her. He couldn't keep his eyes from darting down to her lips and lingering for a second or two before he met her eyes again.

He loosened his grip on her arm, and let his thumb rub over her muscle softly. He felt her let out a breath as she kept their eye contact for a few more seconds and then she broke it and sat back down.

He gave her a few seconds to take a breath before he asked "You ok?"

She grabbed her beer and took a long swig from it trying to calm her emotions and smooth out her muscles from the adrenaline and anger… and stinging pain that had just ripped through her.

She squeezed her eyes shut as the liquid slid down her throat. She could feel the salt on her skin.

"Yea…" she huffed out feeling a little shaky still but then her body started to relax. "Sorry…" she said to her drink, but Elliot knew it was meant for him.

"I just…" and she didn't finish her thought, but she didn't have to. He knew. He knew the feelings that had rushed through her because they were the same ones he had felt every time Kathy begged him to leave. And when she had left him for Computer Crimes… and Oregon… so… he knew.

"I know…" he said turning and sitting back down himself as he finished his beer. She looked over at him, watching the bottle leave his lips. She sighed feeling relief wash over her.

He wasn't leaving. Her world started to shift back and her feet felt like they were touching solid ground again.

"So… you might want to tell me why we're here before I go jumping to more conclusions…" she said trying to take the edge off with humor but it wasn't working. She turned back to him taking a slower breath in and swallowing.

He chuckled at her. She had that look in her eyes. That one that told him she was done with this and needed him to just explain.

Time to rip the band aide off.

He pulled at the label of the empty bottle and turned to face her as he put it down on the bar. He saw her eyes dart down to his hand and all it took was a second.

And she knew. Her eyes widened as she looked at his bare ring finger and then shot back to his face, looking for answers.

"I moved out… it's over…" he said. It sounded a little flat. He didn't mean it to sound that way, but this was the first time he had said out loud that it was over.

It felt… weird… and a little sad… but also… relieving. And as the seconds ticked by it started to feel… good. Freeing almost. Not that he took the end of his marriage lightly or felt like celebrating but… it did feel freeing to say it and finally to the one person he really wanted to say it to.

"El… no…" she said with concern in her voice. It had heightened from the low almost whisper it had been just a second ago. Now he was getting the empathetic Liv. The one she always became when the subject of his family came up.

"Look… whatever it is… you can work it out…" she said.

"Liv…" he said trying to stop the hamster wheel that was now spinning in her head.

"You've always worked it out… El whatever it is… we'll figure it out.

"Liv…" he said again trying to get a word in so he could tell her it was over… like really over. Over over, but she just wasn't hearing him.

"I mean… it's been a month, it's been hectic without you but maybe if I pick up the slack at night, got you home earlier… made sure you got to all the school things… and conferences… even if I have to drag you there myself…" she continued.

He sighed and just sat there. Even when she was trying to save an unsalvageable married, his marriage, he found himself smitten with her.

He always appreciated her need to help keep his family together, sometimes was frustrated with it but, her love of his family was part of what attracted him to her. She wanted nothing more than to be apart of a family, and he had one. She did everything she could but the end was inevitable.

He couldn't help but feel like he let her down. He knew he let Kathy down, his kids down, but by signing the papers and letting Kathy move on he was making up for that. He was no longer using her as an obligation to stay, but with Liv… it was a different sort of disappointing feeling inside him.

What if… what if she thought less of him?

"I mean I'm sure it would take a little coaxing with Cragen but," she said and Elliot couldn't take it anymore. He needed to derail her off the wheel that was spinning like crazy so when he placed his hand on her knee, gripping it with just enough pressure her breath caught in chest and she stopped.

"Liv… we're divorced… the papers are filed… I moved out two weeks go… it's over."

He held her gaze to make sure she heard him.

She blinked at him, and tried to catch her breath. He had never touched her this way before and it was… startling. In the last five minutes he had put his hands on her more times than he had in the last five months. Not counting when she pressed her almost naked upper body against his because that was just… that was just… out of survival… or at least that's what she told herself.

And now his hand was gripping her leg, his fingers and thumb wrapped around her knee, and she couldn't think.

She felt heat slide up her body from where his hand was and she told herself it was just the alcohol, but it was a bad lie. She needed to say something. He was waiting for her to say something and once she did maybe he'd move his hand and she could think again. But she really didn't want him to… if she was being honest with herself.

"Oh…" was all Olivia was able to get out of her mouth.

Olivia internally rolled her eyes at herself.

Elliot's mouth started to curl up at the corner and he couldn't help but feel a little smug. She had all but caused him to have a heart attack when she pulled that ruse a month ago and now seeing he could make her just as flustered with his hand was a little ego boost.

He didn't move his hand, watching her try to calculate her facial expressions but she was clearly struggling.

"That's it?" He asked. "Oh? That's all you have to say to your newly single partner?" He quipped smiling that killer smile of his.

She couldn't help herself and rolled her eyes at his obvious ribbing of her inability to articulate anything more than one syllable and a small smile slipped across her face. Then she felt his thumb rub her knee and he squeezed it before letting go. She felt her breath sweep out of her like his hand had been holding the air in her body and released it when he removed it.

He was single.

Not married.

Not anymore… and this news was… unsettling in a way she wasn't sure she was ready for. She was starting to get her bearings back and turned to him and said, "What am I suppose to say? Congrats? Welcome to the club?" She lifted her eyebrow at him before she turned and finished her beer.

He laughed and looked down at his hands before he shifted around to face the rest of the bar scanning the other patrons.

"Hey," he said brushing her arm and then pointing, "There's an open booth… let's move over there and I'll get us the next round." And then he turned to look look at her.

She had a questioning look on her face.

"Unless you'd rather go home then hear about my new place?" He said a lopsided grin on his face.

Olivia rolled her eyes at him again, but then grinned at the pout he started to make.

"Ok ok… but I'm getting the next one…" she said digging out some cash from her pocket and handing it to him. "You have five kids and can't have you skipping out on your child support." She said with a smug look on her face.

As he went to grab the cash from her, she started to turn to the booth and his hand grabbed hers and softly pulled stopping her.

She was caught of guard by him once again touching her in a way they had never touched before, and her face turned back to his.

"Hey…" he said, his eyes deep and serene. He rubbed his thumb a little over the top of her hand.

"Thanks…"

Olivia was having a hard time remembering to breath and she shrugged her shoulders because the tiny little circles of heat his thumb was leaving were taking all her attention.

"For what?" She asked and it was barely above a whisper. What was he doing? They had gone out for drinks before, and he had never acted like this… although she had never been out drinking with a single Elliot Stabler.

Oh boy… this could be interesting.

Well she was in this now, whatever this was and maybe he was just feeling lost and trying to hang on to something… or lonely now that he wasn't going home to five children and his wife… ex-wife… she thought.

"For staying… for… just being you…" he said. His voice was soft and there was something else in his eyes as he stood there staring at her. It was like he was looking into her soul and reading her… touching all the areas that belonged to him. Like he knew. Smoothing over the scars.

He squeezed her hand for a second and then took the cash and turned to back to the bar.

Olivia stood there for a second, not sure what had just happened… but whatever it was terrified her.

She'd only seen that look in his eyes once before and it almost crushed them. It had sent her running for the hills but now… she didn't feel that little pull in her stomach and that voice in her head telling her run…

She felt a pull to him.