"Maggie, I can't believe you managed to snag those things." I said as she light up a cigarette by her window. Everybody had fallen asleep, leaving us two teenagers to our own devices.

"What? You can sneak off in the middle of the night, but I can't smoke?"

"I never said that! I am sayin' that you would get into more trouble with Uncle Hershel than I would. But you could've gone for drinkin' rather than smokin'." I turned my nose up slightly as I breathed in the smoke that drifted over to me.

She playfully kicked me in the leg as she took a puff of the cigarette. "Yeah right, Ves. Dad would kill us both if he found out 'bout either one of us."

"Annette would probably have a heart attack."

"Nah, aneurysm."

I laughed. "An aneurysm? Uncle Hershel would have the aneurysm from yelling at us, not Annette."

Maggie's eyes scrunched as she sat, deep in thought and let out a breath of smoke. Her finger taped at the side of the cigarette and the built-up ash fell into the small jar filled with water. "Yeah... Yeah, I can see that." My phone chimed, signaling that I got a notification. When I looked at the message, she asked, "Gotta go again?"

"Nope." I shook my head, "Just a reminder for next week. Jax wants me at the top of my game, so I'm headin' to the gym tomorrow to get some practice in."

"If there's any cute guys there-"

"Let you know so you can ogle at them." I snapped my phone shut after sending a confirmation to my mentor.

Our heads snapped towards her door when heavy footsteps started walking towards it. The cigarette fell into the jar and Maggie put the lid on while I grabbed the air freshener and sprayed it all over the room. The fan that she put in here last week was on which helped when Uncle Hershel knocked on the door and poked his head in.

"You girls should be asleep right now." Uncle Hershel chided us. He stood in the doorway in his favorite blue pajama set. "You both have school in the morning and I don't want y'all missing the bus again."

"Sorry, Daddy. We were about to head to bed anyway." Maggie's voice was sugary sweet and he fell for it.

"Alright. Sleep well, girls."

"You too, Uncle Hershel.

"I remember when we used to sit there and talk shit about people." I leaned against the doorframe to Maggie's room. She was sitting by her window with her chin in her hands, not a cigarette. "I'm not gonna apologize to Patricia 'cause what she said was out of line. I am pissed that y'all did what you did with the barn, but I understand- Scratch that, I'm tryin' to understand where y'all were comin' from with it. We used to be able to tell each other just about everythin'. What happened?"

Maggie looked out the window with a sigh. "When we got the hospital and I saw you layin' in that hospital bed... You looked so broken, Vesper. I've never seen you look that way. You were always the strong one and just seein' you there..." She turned her head to look at me, "When Mom and Shawn died, you had that same look on your face: Guilt and brokenness. I wanted to tell you, but I didn't have it in me and Dad said not to. We thought that they were sick and that we were doin' the right thing, but we weren't. And I'm so sorry, Ves."

"I want to be mad at y'all, but I'm findin' it hard to. Let's just put an end to that chapter and every chapter before that." I pulled her into a hug before she could see my tears start to fall.

"I'd like that." She hugged back even tighter. "No more secrets?"

"No more secrets."

We stayed like that until my back started to cramp from out awkward hugging position. I pulled away from Maggie and started to stand up to leave, but she pulled me back down.

"What? Is there more to talk about?" I asked.

"Yup." Maggie wiped away the last of her tears before placing her hands neatly in her lap. "We talked about our family affairs and we also talked about my affairs. Now it's your turn, Ves."

"I don't have any affairs." I used quotation marks with my fingers as I said 'affairs'.

"We agreed on no more secrets, didn't we?"

"We did."

"So what's goin' on between you and Daryl?"

I looked at my cousin with confusion written all over my face. Me and Daryl? How could she think there's something going on between us?

"Abso-fuckin'-lutely nothin' is goin' on between me and him. We're... I'd say friends, but I think that's a bit of a stretch."

Maggie scoffed. "Yeah right. You should've seen him when you were laid up in bed after y'all fell down that ravine. You spent a night in his tent and don't think I didn't see the way you two were eyeing each other yesterday. You were practically undressin' him with your eyes!"

"I don't even know what you're talkin' about, Maggie! Undressin' him with my eyes? Seriously?"

"Yes, seriously."

"When the hell was that?"

"Oh my god." She quietly gasped, eyes wide. "You seriously don't remember?"

"No I don't! I was-" I thought back to when Darryl was standing on the edge of the small group that was checking out that kid in the car. I was drunk, shirtless, and totally checking him out. "Oh..." I'm never going to drink again.

She nodded. "Oh! So are you sure there's nothing goin' on between you two?"

"Only embarrassment on my end." Maggie didn't stop me when I stood up again. "If you'll excuse me, I'm goin' to pitch myself off the roof."

As I sped out her room with my face as hot as a million suns, Maggie yelled out, "Use sunglasses!"

"What for?" I poked my head back in to look at her.

A shit-eating grin grew on Maggie's face. "For protection."

My jaw dropped at her words. Not only am I embarrassed, but I am mortified and shocked. "Screw you, Maggie." I ignored the laughs that echoed behind me as I sped off again. I don't think the roof is high enough, I might survive the fall.

Randall. Randall... Ran-dall. Where the hell have I heard that name from?

I thought back to yesterday and the brief glimpse I got of his face. I think he looked familiar, but it might've been my drunkenness. The only way to find out for sure is to go look at him.

When I went down to the shed to where I last heard he was, he was gone. Rick and Shane must've left already. Turning back to go somewhere else, I came face-to-face with a chest. But not just any chest, nope. Not with my luck. It was Daryl's chest.

The Georgia heat was no match to the heat that grew on my face when I looked up at him. My previous conversation with Maggie flooded my brain and all I wanted to do was dissolve into nothingness.

"You okay, woman? You in shock, too?" Daryl's deep voice pulled me out of the trance that I was in.

I didn't trust myself to speak so I just nodded my head in response. I then remembered that he asked two questions with two different answers. "Y-yes. No. Yes, I am fine. No I'm not in shock. It's just..." I paused to find the right word to make this situation less embarrassing for me. "Hot."

Is that seriously the best I can do? Hot? I am able to beat a six-foot five man that is twice my weight into the ground, and now I'm having trouble forming proper sentences talking to some guy? The fall into the ravine must've done some serious damage.

Daryl's brows furrowed together in concern. "You sure you're okay? You're stutterin' a lot."

"Yeah." My attention was redirected when I saw Maggie run up the porch and into the house. "I uh, I gotta go." I gave a small smile to the man in front of me and ran after Maggie.

My thigh still ached every time I moved faster than a brisk walk, but the fierceness of Maggie's energy kept me from focusing on the pain for too long. Beth sat up as Maggie paced in front of Beth's bed a few times. My youngest cousin had a blank look on her face and tears in her eyes. It was a look I saw when I was getting used to looking at myself in the mirror again.

"Are you crazy?" Maggie's voice finally broke the silence. "What if Dad finds out?"

"What's he gonna do? Kill me for committing suicide?" Beth's words made my heart skip a beat.

I sat down on the edge of her bed. "Stop being such a brat. He'd die. So would Maggie. And so would I."

Maggie sat down on the other side, next to me. "This isn't just about you. We all lost Mom."

"May lose each other, and I couldn't stand that." Beth's reply was breathy.

"So you just give up?"

Beth lightly shook her head. Her blue eyes shone brighter with unshed tears. "You don't get it. Neither one of you do!"

"Bullshit!" I hissed. "Like Maggie said, this isn't just about you, Beth. Right now, you have the luxury of being able to waste away in bed and grieve. We don't! We're pushin' and tryin' to give you help while takin' care of everythin' else because everythin' is in complete shambles!"

"How is drinking yourself into a stupor trying to take care of things, Vesper?" Beth seethed. "I saw you just sitting there drowning yourself in alcohol just like Daddy did!"

"You're right. But before that, I was bustin' my ass until I physically couldn't anymore. And I was bustin' my ass afterwards. Now, here the fuck I am findin' out that my baby cousin is tryin' kill herself! And for what? You knew that those walkers were in that barn but you were so fuckin' delusional thinkin' that they were sick, just like your damn dad! Like Patricia! Like your damn boyfriend, Jimmy!"

"They were sick! I wasn't delusional, Vesper, I had hope that there was a cure. You just throw yourself into whatever danger you can find knowing that it'll probably kill you! Even before the world ended, you did that!"

"And I paid for it! Time and time again! I may do some stupid shit, but this definitely takes the fuckin' cake Beth." I pushed myself up from the bed and walked towards the window, trying to cool myself off.

"Then let me pay for my own stupid shit and let me die!"

"You are being so selfish!" Maggie response came fast after her sister stopped talking. "How could you possibly say that? Why the hell would you want to do the same stupid shit that Vesper does? At least she knew how to defend herself and not try to sneak a knife to kill herself while her family is in the same house!"

"No, instead she decides to go back out to Atlanta, the same place where she was raped and left for dead!"

My breath hitched in my throat at her words. All I wanted to do was yell at her and scold her for saying that, but I didn't. I couldn't. My stomach churned with nausea as my memories mixed with what's happening in the same room as me.

"At least I didn't give any front row seats to my own suicidal pity party." I growled out as I marching out of the room. I small gush of wind pushed behind me as I angrily slammed the door shut.

I stood in the hall unsure of where to go. The things I did was irresponsible and dangerous, I won't deny that. I wasn't doing anything after I was assaulted that I wasn't already warned about. There would be days that I was gone from home, going to fights and bars trying to forget what happened. To forget myself. And the days that I was home, I was either in my room or trying my damndest to make sure that my family didn't see how truly broken I was. I tried and I still am trying. That's the one thing Beth and I can't match on.

I walked through the house like a ghost until I found myself on the porch. It was apparently starting to become my favorite place to be. I would give my good leg to be back by that shed with Daryl doing nothing but stumble over my words and embarrass myself like a fucking dumbass.

Taking a few more breaths to collect myself, I decided to go back inside to try to talk to Beth. We both said fucked up things, Beth more so than I, but this divide isn't going to help either one of us.

I walked back inside her room to see that both her and Maggie were gone. I didn't see either one go outside which means that they're still somewhere in the house.

"Beth?" I called out for her, hoping to get some sort of response. That's when I heard a choking cry come from the bathroom. "Beth?" I banged on the door when I heard glass break. Fear gripped me like a wet cat on a tree. The door was locked and the one thing I didn't know how to do was pick locks.

"Vesper?" Lori came into the room with concern lacing her voice.

"She's in there. I heard glass." I took a step back and readied myself to kick the door open. Was it going to be successful? Maybe, maybe not. It's not like I got many options, though.

"Beth, are you alright?" Lori got close to the door, but I pulled her back. I wasn't sure how my idea was going to go and I didn't need someone else getting injured

I put my weight on my left leg and kicked next to the handle as hard as I could with my good leg. The door shuttered from the force and Maggie came rushing in.

"Find the key, Maggie!" I instructed her as I got ready to kick at the door again.

She rushed over to the dresser and started looking through jewelry boxes and drawers. "God, I left her with Andrea."

I heard the wood crack as I landed another kick to the door. Adrenaline and determination overrode my fear and pain. Why the hell did this house have have solid wood doors?

"Beth, honey, please open the door." Maggie tried the door knob again, but the door didn't budge. "I'm not mad. I'm not mad, Beth."

"Maggie, move." She looked back at me and nodded. Maggie moved away and watched as I kicked the door with all the strength I had. It slammed open to reveal Beth standing in front of the sink with her back to us.

She was holding her bloody wrist when she turned around to look at us. "I'm sorry." She cried. Her voice was so small it reminded me of when she was just a toddler getting into trouble.

Maggie walked up to her and pulled her into a hug. Beth cried into her shoulder as the eldest led her out of the bathroom and back into her room. I stood next to Lori, watching them move before I pulled myself together enough to jump back into action.

Disinfectant, gauze, tape, rags, scissors. I repeated the five things over and over again in my head as I collected each thing. When I got back to my cousins I instructed them to follow me into the kitchen. We needed running water to help clean Beth's wound and see how bad the damage is.

My brain turned off any emotions as I held her wrist under cold water until the blood cleared enough for me to get a good look at the cut. "It's just the one, but it needs stitches." I looked up at my Uncle who came walking into the kitchen with his medical kit.

Maggie and Lori went outside to talk to Andrea who was running up to the house. I wasn't sure of what was being said, but I couldn't care less. Maggie may have left Beth with her, but it was Andrea that pushed Beth enough for her to do it.

Everybody was in shock of what happened and that night, I volunteered to stay with Beth. Patricia and Jimmy had gone off to sleep and I had to convince Uncle Hershel and Maggie that I was fine with watching her.

All through the night was quiet besides the wind and the settling of the house. Beth's dad and sister came in every few hours to check on her, but she thankfully stayed asleep. No words were ever spoken and the only time I closed my eyes was to blink.