Another update at two in the morning because I have lost control of my life and I've been fueled on pineapple soda and Glee covers. This chapter has mentions of eating disorders, so please beware of that if you are sensitive. I just wanna say real quick that this chapter just flowed right out of me, I think Molly's an easier character to write because I put a lot of myself into her. Anyway not gonna keep y'all for much longer, please enjoy the chapter and maybe tell me what you think? ~Shaymie

Molly

It's still hard to look in the mirror.

The doctors back home called it body dysmorphia. It was one of many issues that had popped up due to her disorder. She hates it. She knows, she knows she's not fat, in fact she's the farthest thing from it. At her initial check-up on the island, Dr. Jin had told her that she was still underweight. Ever since she's gotten to Castanet, she's heard whispers from the townspeople, commenting on how skinny she was. She knows she's small... but she doesn't see that. She can't see it.

Molly turned away from the mirror and smoothed down the pleats of her pink gingham dress. Today wasn't the day to be thinking of this. She quickly took her medicine and left the bathroom. Maya was waiting in the bedroom the sisters shared, looking over the various trophies and medals on display. Molly felt her cheeks flush as a pair of excited blue eyes turned to look at her. She wasn't expecting anyone else to see them.

"Molly, Molly, what's this?! I didn't know you could dance!"

"I don't anymore. I had to quit. Health reasons..." She looked away from Maya and sat down on the bed, grabbing her hair supplies. The waitress watched curiously as she did her hair with practiced hands, running the brush through her curls and tying them up in twin buns. She had grown used to getting ready without looking in a mirror. Maybe someday she'd be able to look in mirrors again, but right now just the thought of it made her sick to her stomach.

"Oh goddess, are you okay?"

"I'm fine now..." She forced herself to push away memories of sickness, of weakness, of crying alone on the bathroom floor, her flushed face soothed by the coolness of the tile. Kasey constantly told her it wasn't her fault, but how could it not be? She'd done it all to herself. It's not like anybody else was there, keeping food from her. There wasn't some mystical being or magical ghoul shoving their fingers down her throat. No, it was all her.

Molly grabbed her cardigan from where it had been sitting on her bed and slipped her feet into her shoes. She needed some fresh air and the sooner she got to the festival, the better. Maya followed behind, her light blue dress swishing around her. Molly was glad she had stopped with the questions. She was thankful for Maya, who took the time to regularly seek out her company, but like everyone else on the island she could be a bit nosy.

"Um... Thank you for agreeing to the baking lessons. Everyone else kinda gave up on me," Maya quietly spoke up once they were in the middle of town. She twirled a bit of hair that would have normally been in a pigtail around her finger. Molly smiled. They'd had their first baking lesson earlier today and it had been nothing short of disastrous. The first batch of cookies had salt instead of sugar poured into the batter, the second had been burned to a crisp, and the last refused to come unstuck from the pan at all.

"All you need is a bit of patience—"

"I don't have time for patience! It's almost Chase's birthday and I wanted to bake him a cake 'cause he's been really grumpy lately! Like, grumpier than usual!" Maya let out a huff as they neared the clinic and looked around briefly before leaning in. "You didn't hear this from me, but Chase told my granny that he's been having trouble sleeping. And he keeps going to the clinic but they haven't gotten the shipment of his medicine yet."

Molly frowned, thinking of when she had bumped into the chef at the clinic. He'd been in a bad mood then, storming up to the counter and talking to Irene in a hushed, frantic voice. The shadows underneath his eyes made much more sense now. At least, more sense than her sister's drug addict theory. She knew all too well the pains of insomnia. Caffeine and stubbornness would only get you so far. Eventually it would start impacting your work, your relationships (not that it seemed Chase had any, since he seemed to keep to himself), and your health.

She wanted to say something, but the words were stolen from her as they reached the church grounds. She's never seen cherry blossoms in real life before. Linh, one of her best friends from back home, was a budding (no pun intended) florist and often went on road trips with her grandfather to take pictures of flora. Before tonight, that was the closest she'd gotten to a cherry blossom. She held a hand out and smiled as a delicate petal landed in the palm of her hand.

"There you are, Molls!" She looked up at the sound of her sister's voice. Angela was standing behind a homemade stall with Luke and Owen, the cherry blossom cookies sitting in a plastic tray. Molly walked over to them, holding back a sigh. She had told Angela countless times that she didn't want a stall, but her sister was too stubborn to listen and went to Luke to commission a stall. She was surprised it looked as good as it did, as rushed as it was. Angela, Luke, and Owen had spent a majority of the day painting the wood a pastel pink color and left a few hours before her to put the pieces together on the church grounds.

"Hey, Angie..." Her gaze fell onto a jar sitting on the stall, half filled with money. She raised an eyebrow at Angela. She didn't want to charge people for her cookies, having thought the money she got from Gill was well enough. "You're... charging?"

"Not really. People liked the cookies so much they decided to tip. Owen ran back to his house and found an old pickle jar to put the money in when we realized it was gonna be a recurring thing." Angela looped an arm and Molly's and waved her hand nonchalantly. "But never mind all that, let's take some pictures before it gets too dark!"

The thought of taking pictures sent dread to Molly's core. She's never been fond of her appearance. Angela was the pretty one. Even when she was experimenting with some crazy new style, Angela was the one the boys paid attention to. Molly's always just been there. She hated taking pictures. She hated hearing her family's compliments, telling her how cute she was and how adorable her freckles were and how much she looked like—

Calm down. You're spiraling again. She took a deep breath and looked at Angela, who was lecturing Owen and Luke about eating all the cookies. The only reason Kasey was okay with her coming here was because she'd promised that she was okay, and for the most part that was true. But there were some bad days where she felt like garbage, even after taking her medicine. Her next phone appointment with her therapist wasn't for another week. She could hold out until then.

"Do I look alright? You know Kasey will make fun of me if something's off." Angela fiddled with her leather jacket and brushed her bangs from her face. Molly nodded, smiling slightly as Angela smoothed down her red dress. Her sister was never one for dressing up, and this little red dress was one of the few nice things she owned. Everything else was either band tees or ripped jeans. Satisfied with her appearance, Angela flagged down Simon for a picture in front of the blossoming trees.

She couldn't sleep. Again.

Molly stared up at the ceiling and blew her bangs from her face. Normally social events like the Flower Festival would tire her out, but she couldn't quiet her mind even though it was well past three in the morning. She got out of bed with a frustrated huff of air, making sure she didn't wake up Angela. She quietly grabbed a hoodie Kasey had given her and a pair of shoes. Maybe some fresh air would help.

She found herself at the beach. Even in the oversized hoodie, she was freezing, but she surprisingly didn't mind it. She sat down in the sand, pulling her knees to her chest and tugging the hoodie over them. The ocean's waves brought a small smile to her face. She's never been this close to the ocean. She was experiencing a lot of firsts on Castanet. It wasn't until moving here that she learned how small her world really was. How ironic, to discover such a thing after leaving the big city.

The sound of footsteps caused her to nearly jump out of her skin. Who else could possibly be awake at this time? She looked up, her eyes widening slightly at the sight of Chase. The shadows underneath his eyes seemed darker than before. Not that she was staring or anything. She looked away before he could tease her again and rested her head on her knees. After a few moments, he joined her on the sand, sitting a slight distance away.

They stared at the ocean together in silence. For once, Molly wasn't bothered by the quiet.