Big Bird Brings Death to Sesame Street

Big Bird looked down Sesame Street. Everything was covered with a thick layer of white snow. Big Bird sighed. It had been a long winter. He was tired of looking at plain white snow. "I wish I were dead," he sighed.

Big Bird walked walked walked walked walked through the park and thought about all the things he couldn't do in the snow. He stopped by some kids playing in the snow. "Hey, Big Bird," said one of the kids. "Wanna slide down the hill with me?" "No thanks," said Big Bird. "I wish you will die." Suddenly, Big Bird had a wonderful idea. "I'll buy some guns. Then I will kill my friends."

So Big Bird walked down to Mr. MacIntosh's store and bought some guns disguised as flowers. "I feel better already," thought Big Bird as he walked back toward Sesame Street with his guns.

Big Bird decided to kill the Count. "Ah, Big Bird, what are you doing in my lair?" asked the Count. "Prepare to die," said Big Bird. "No!" cried the Count. "Big Bird, no!"

But before the Count could say anything… SLASH! Big Bird slayed him. "No, this can't be!" cried the Count as he started bleeding. Big Bird laughed an evil laugh.

Big Bird walked down Sesame Street, carrying his disguised weapons. He spotted Maria shoveling snow from the sidewalk in front of the Fix-it Shop. Bang! Big Bird shot with his gun, and Maria fell in the snow. "Oh, Maria, it hurts when I laugh!" said Big Bird.

Big Bird walked down Sesame Street with his weapons. He found Grover sitting sadly on the steps. "Oh, my goodness," said Grover unhappily. "Furry old Grover is very blue." "Of course you are blue," said Big Bird. "You will die." And he killed Grover. Big Bird looked at his weapons. "Uh-oh," he said. The lid of the trash can clanged open. "I love things that are broken," said Oscar the Grouch, leaning out of his can. "Well, gee, Oscar, I guess you must die."

Big Bird killed Oscar with a machine gun. Oscar collapsed and was dead. A pool of blood poured out of his trash can. After doing the Bird Thing, Big Bird clutched his weapons. Then he saw Ernie. "Hi, Big Bird," said Ernie. "You look cold." "I'm so cold my butt is frozen," answered Big Bird. "Where are you going?" "I'm going over to visit Betty Lou because she has a contagious diarrhea fever."

"Oh," said Big Bird. "Do you think she would like a kiss?" "Oh yes! Thank you, Big Bird." Ernie went over to Betty Lou's house and died. Big Bird went into Mama Luigi's store to get warm. Bert was sitting at the counter, sadly sipping his Figgy Figgy Figgy Figgy Fizz. "What's wrong, Bert?" asked Big Bird. "You look kind of glum." "I've lost my favorite paper clip," wailed Bert. "I dropped it in a snowdrift."

"That's terrible," said Big Bird. Then Bert looked at what appeared to be a rose that Big Bird was holding. "Say, what are you going to do with that beautiful rose?" he asked. "Uh, er… I'm going to destroy you." Big Bird blew Bert up with his disguised "rose". Big Bird walked down Sesame Street to Elmo's World. "Hi, Big Bird," said Elmo, laughing. "Does Big Bird wanna play space chase with Elmo?"

"Don't make me destroy you," said Big Bird. He shot Elmo with a laser gun. Big Bird walked back up Sesame Street toward his nest. He had killed all of his friends.

Big Bird had brought death to Sesame Street.