Hey Guys, how are you?
I'm sorry for being so absent here, first I wasn't able to write and then I got excited to write a Deckerstar(Lucifer Show) and Caskett crossover at the request of a very special person for me. In the end, I still haven't finished the crossover but I found my way to finish this chapter.
Hope you like it.
A kiss and good reading.
He is looking at her.
It's been a few weeks now. He's been following her around for a few weeks now and Rick can tell that Kate is not only becoming familiar with his presence, but appreciating it in some how.
And he might say that she would never admit it even though it was true. They found their own rhythm. And as he continues to be drawn to her, he wonders if that too is reciprocated.
"Beckett" Rick calls.
She's facing the whiteboard, centered and thoughtful, and she's beautiful. She's aware of him watching her too, just pretends he isn't.
And as usual, she doesn't look at him when she answers. "Yes Castle?"
"If you could choose any animal to be, which one would it be?"
This causes her to frown, seemingly taken aback by the question at hand.
"I wouldn't choose. I like being human, plus you're already my pet."
Rick smiles at the answer.
"Come on, Beckett. Aren't there any animals you look up to?"
"I didn't say that. I just said I wouldn't want to be one."
"Fair enough. But which animal do you admire and why?
She does not answer. "Have you thought about not being a walking distraction and helping out with the case?"
"I already helped. Organized crime skirmish that ended with an undercover NSA agent missing an earring and dead. What's new?"
Kate rolls her eyes.
"Is that all you've got stored up in that mind of yours? I always thought writers had a vast imagination full of explanations for everything."
"We do. But now it's the only one that fits."
"Right."
As Rick imagined she would, Kate completely ignored the beginning of that conversation where he confessed that he wished she could be honest with him. They didn't bring it up again, and when he tried, Ryan and Espo's horrible timing always found a way to interrupt them.
But he's been spending a lot of time admiring Kate. He's discovered what she likes to eat while drinking coffee too, he's noticed that when she gets too immersed in work she ends up skipping a few meals, that she has remarkable poise and efficiency at catching bad guys in those heels that God knows how many inches and that she is pretty closed about her life.
Try as he might, Rick isn't very good at letting go. He still wonders about her family. What's the real explanation for going to lunch with just her dad, and how she's so good at deflecting the subject.
He's been writing more and more too. Narrating while trying, along with the reader, to unravel the depths of Kate Beckett's profile is undoubtedly one of his best experiences as a writer. To his agent, however, it must sound like a nightmare. Because as far as Gina knows, he's working on the Wilder saga. He'll be in trouble in a short amount of time if he doesn't dedicate himself to finishing the Saga, but as a good writer, Rick is great at procrastinating, or in this case, dedicating himself to his side job in the police force.
"We've interrogated Decker more than once. He didn't break before, why do you think we're going to make him talk now?" Kate is looking at Montgomery right after he gives his orders.
"Because now we have enough leads to keep him here." Espo is the one who answers. "Gray nylon fibers could be considered commonplace in his building, but I highly doubt our victim's missing earring was found in any other apartment."
Things unfold well from there. It all fits together like a puzzle, and that's fine, Decker asks for a lawyer, but they managed to catch the killer.
And then there is so much paperwork.
"Hey Beckett, two weeks without you huh?" Kevin announces, arms crossed over his chest and body leaning back against the computer desk.
Kate arches her eyebrows. "You know, you guys could pretend you won't miss me. It would be less embarrassing without all that sentimentality."
"You'll miss Ryan's sentimentality while you're gone, boss." Espo adds.
"I'm going to pretend I don't know that you'll miss me too, Espo."
That's when Rick is coming back with two steaming mugs of coffee.
"Who's going to miss who?" He asks. "Who's leaving?"
"Beckett is gone for two weeks, bro."
Rick looks up at her.
"Are you going?"
She shrugs. "I have a lot of time off accumulated and I need to take care of something."
"But two weeks?" The concerned tone in his voice is quite convincing. "What about our victims, Beckett?"
"Don't worry, Castle. You can still follow Espo and make a book about him." She winks at him, almost flirtatiously, and then turns back to her papers. "I'm sure Ryan wouldn't mind either."
Kevin shrugs. "Give me coffee every morning too and it's all taken care of."
Rick almost smiles at the banter, but then he's pretty much submerged in curiosity as to what would drive Kate Beckett, an obvious workaholic, to leave work for two weeks. And weighed down by the fact that he doesn't get to see her either, he's a little embarrassed by how much it makes his stomach drop.
The boys go do their own jobs and then it's just him and Beckett.
And he must look too long because she loses her temper.
"Are you going to ask or are you just going to stare silently? It's kind of scary."
"Will you answer if I ask?" He asks.
She purses her lips, and almost smiles. "Why don't you try and put yourself out of your misery, Castle."
"Okay than." Rick agrees. He widens his eyes, sits back in his chair and clasps his hands together. "Why are you going away for two weeks?"
"I already told you. I have days to spare and I need to take care of something." Is what she replies, much to his frustration.
He doesn't give up. "Could you be more specific?"
"Specify how? Why do I have extra days or what do I need to do?"
"You know exactly what I'm asking."
"I don't know, Castle." She insists. "Perhaps you should improve your interrogation technique."
"Or maybe I'll just miss you."
"No. You just want to know what I'm going to do to be able to find myself in these days and snoop more into my personal life."
"Would that be bad?"
"That would be stalking."
"Not exactly."
"Are we going to discuss the logistics of what makes or doesn't make you a stalker?"
"If necessary."
She rolls her eyes and smiles.
"Go home, Castle."
"Too bad for you, Beckett, I really have to go. I promised Alexis we'd have dinner together tonight."
Kate nods, for some reason he doesn't understand, looking particularly pleased with his announcement.
"Have a nice dinner, Castle. See you in two weeks."
"Before, Beckett." He's not sure how, but he knows he will. "You'll see me before."
Kate is crossing the street.
She's serious, and fine, she's always serious, but she's a little more serious than usual. He's only a few feet away and somehow, he knows something's wrong.
It's been three days since he last saw her, mysterious and smiling over the victim's case papers without an earring. That was a relatively easy case to close.
Rick has just dropped Alexis off at Louise's house, as apparently they've planned a girls' night with Paige. He was just getting into the car to go home when he saw her, walking pretty and purposeful at the crosswalk like she was on a mission, and with this whole closed expression.
He doesn't hold back.
"Beckett, hey" Rick yells. Not loud enough because she doesn't hear him. "Beckett" He tries again, and watches as she stops.
Kate looks around, frowns, and just a moment later her eyes are on him.
Her expression is kind of menacing now that he's stopped to take notice.
"Castle." she says, as if she's going to utter a pausedly frustrating sentence. "What are you doing here?" She is still a little way off, but he walks to meet her. "Are you following me or something?"
He smiles, because he's not going to take offense at her tone. "Wow, you really take this whole thing about me being a stalker seriously, don't you?" Half expecting her to smile at his humor, he deflates a little when it doesn't work. "I swear I wasn't. I just saw you. I came to drop Alexis off at a friend's house. That's all."
Her expression doesn't soften. No way, but she seems to believe him. "Right. I uh… gotta go." She glances in the direction she's been heading, then turns back to him. "See you later, Castle."
She's already two steps away when he blinks.
"Wait. Beckett, hey" It's instantaneous, he doesn't even think. "Are you okay? Do you need to go somewhere? I can give you a ride if you want."
She looks mildly surprised by his interruption, but not particularly touched, let alone tempted to accept his offer. "That's kind of you, but I'm fine, thanks." So he's watching as she resumes her walk.
Frustrating. She is.
Rick takes a deep breath. He watches the strands of hair sway as she walks, and he wonders, once again, what she hides so carefully.
The intimidating expression and rigid posture can give the wrong impression if you don't look closely.
She's more than a pretty face, that's for sure, the fine features and finely chiseled jaw almost draw more attention than the eyes. Almost is the key word. Rick has had the opportunity to observe a lot of her now, though not nearly enough, but what he can say is that if the eyes are the window to the soul, as people tend to say, then Rick has begun to think that her soul is incredibly sad.
The more he thinks about — God knows he's had time these past 72 hours — more he believes that maybe it's all coming from some painful, dark place. That icy glow contained in her mesmerizing green, the faraway gaze even when her iris is facing everyone in the room. There's something there, he can sense it. He is not alien to sadness in its original form.
But Kate, she's pretty good at hiding it though. She is a born pretender. As if she was born for it or trained her entire life to perfect the talent. Maybe that's why he can't read her all the way through, because she's so good at hiding. It's peculiar, he's insanely good at analyzing people and creating his own personal file in his mind about each one because he knows he's going to come in handy at some point. It's how he writes best sellers. Analyzing people, yearnings, feelings and actions.
And while most people are incredibly easy to read, Katherine Beckett is frustrating enough to cloud him in all his self-confidence.
She is stubborn, headstrong, complicated. And it's not that the others aren't — he's not the type to underestimate people's ability to be hard to understand, he's a writer, after all — but if someone caught his eye and intrigued him by being that way instantly, then this one someone is her.
Do the research started by this in the first place. He maded Derrick Storm, he created him, modeled him and gave life to other secondary characters based on people he had the opportunity to meet, and after killing him, he needed someone extraordinary to star in a new novel, he didn't meet anyone good enough, and then Wilder came out of somewhere.
But now, well, now she's here.
The homicide detective with the short hair, sad chrome tourmaline eyes and wielding a gun that makes her sexier than anyone else could, well, she's perfect for this, right?
Yes.
Yes, she is. But she doesn't let anyone get close enough.
Well, that's probably because she still doesn't know how insistent and determined he can be once she's made up her mind.
Rick gets in the car, he turns the ignition and drives to where he saw her disappear into the sea of people who live in Manhattan walking along the curb.
There's a lot of traffic there too. He hates it, because he's been stuck between multiple vehicles too long, long enough that she's disappeared from anyone's sight. The radio is on and it's not like he's paying attention because he's just looking at the facades of buildings and establishments hoping he can find her.
Rick drives three blocks, and he can't see her. He wonders if there's any chance she's going home. I mean, they shared a cab once, and he taped her address and the front of her building. She didn't look well, maybe it would be wise to try contacting her? Being there because maybe she needs it even though she's not good at admitting it?
He gets there relatively sooner than he expected, taking the traffic into account.
He is tempted to send a message. He thinks she wouldn't answer.
Coming up with a plan is flawed, especially with so little time, because while Rick is thinking of a way to be able to watch closely what's bothering Kate Beckett and maybe offer some comfort or just company, she jumps out of a taxi and starts walking into her building.
He thought he might have to wait for hours, but here it is.
"Beckett" He yells, for the third time that day, after three days.
She freezes. The tall, rigid, troubled silhouette.
"he doesn't turn around right away. No, it takes some time.
"What the hell are you doing here?" There's menace bleeding into her tone this time, he can recognize it.
"I uh… you know, just being, uh–" Using a fragmented pause, he tries to think of something smart to say. He has nothing of the sort. "Your devoted stalker. Like a fan."
Her eyes are on him now. Still in the car, he feels quite put off by the arch in her eyebrow.
"Go home, Castle." Kate determines. It's not a request or an order. It's like she was verbalizing a fact that already happened. Just the truth. It just isn't.
He feels brave today. "I'm going home when you tell me what's wrong."
This surprises her. He's not sure why. "Who says there's something wrong?"
"It's all over your expression, Kate. You're more tense than usual. Let me buy you a coffee. Ice cream if that's more comforting. Maybe share a bottle of vodka?" During his impromptu attempts, Rick realizes that she is considering the coffee and ice cream thing. But he sees it in her grimace when he mentions the Vodka. Curiosity eats at his stomach.
"I can't. I don't–" She trails off. She takes a breath and then lets it out. "I don't have time for this. I'm sorry. Go home. Please."
"I want to help."
"There's nothing to help."
"Then let me keep you company."
He's confused again because he can't read it. He doesn't know if what's on her face is a real softening, a cogitation or just pure tiredness or something else, who knows all the aforementioned ones.
She doesn't say anything else. In fact, she looks at him, looks at nothing, and then looks at him again and finally at the entrance of the building before walking inside.
He might not have understood anything, might have misinterpreted it, but then he's locking the car and running after her. And when she lets him through when the doorman discreetly asks, he smiles, pleased with himself that he insisted and that she allowed it.
They're in the elevator then, and ignoring the fact that he's trapped in a metal box with a super attractive woman, he doesn't look at her directly this time.
She directs them to her door, which is on the fourth floor, apparently. Still silent, both of them, and she opens the door.
Rick watches.
Her apartment is different. Not unlike odd or extremely unusual, it's just…he hadn't think about her taste in decoration yet. The place is small, but it sure has its charm. He likes the repeated colors, the pattern of the books, how they are arranged and there seems to be them everywhere.
And he thought he couldn't be more enthralled by this woman.
His books are there too. All. And in order.
She catches him looking but doesn't say anything. She doesn't even try to justify herself. She just shrugs.
"So, do you want the ice cream or the coffee?" He asks, in an attempt at interaction.
"There's ice cream in the freezer, Castle. I'm going to take a shower." Short and blunt must be the right way to describe how it went.
He takes advantage of her absence to look further. To learn more. The preference for crockery, cutlery, the lack of food in the fridge, the lack of dirty dishes. Everything spotless and clean as if she doesn't stay at home and never has time to cook something homemade and cozy. The takeaway numbers must be in a drawer somewhere as the bin is full of takeaway food wrappers.
Finding ice cream bowls was not a difficult task. But finding interesting flavors in the freezer is another story. Luckily he knows an ice cream parlor not far away that also delivers.
Kate doesn't know what she's doing.
Truth be told, she doesn't even know why she let him upstairs, why she let him stay at her place when she just wanted some privacy and maybe some time to cry and decide what to do next.
And she can't do that because she's left wondering what the hell he's doing in her kitchen. She's not used to having anyone walk around her house while she's in the shower.
This is a shitty day. She can't even take a shower in peace.
She gets dressed, combs her hair, and walks over to find him rummaging through his books—the ones he was the one to write, Derrick's.
He has a smile on his face, this one isn't smug, just content. Really happy.
"Are you done snooping around, Mr. Castle?"
He jumps. It is funny.
"I was not-"
"Cut out the bullshit. I caught you in the act."
"Fine, but it's your fault for taking so long in the shower. I needed to be entertained."
She crosses her arms and arches her eyebrows.
"By the way, I don't think I've said it before, but it's a lovely place, this one you have here." Castle says, sounding very genuine too.
"Thanks." She is also sincere. "Now, what about that ice cream?"
That's when they knock on her door. She frowns. She is not expecting anyone.
"Perfect timing." She hears him say. "It must be it at the door. Wait a moment."
Kate watches half-shocked and half-not-so-shocked, as Rick Castle answers the door to his apartment as if it's something he's used to and very normal.
"There, I said it was the ice cream." He says, half a minute later, walking to the center of the kitchen. "Now, which flavor do you want, Beckett?"
Watching closely, she watched as he placed four new flavors of ice cream on the kitchen counter.
Mango, pistachios, salted caramel and, uh… guava cheese?
"What's wrong Castle, the simple and usual wasn't enough for you?" She arches her eyebrows, remembering the chocolate ice cream in the freezer.
Castle looks at her, and fixes her eyes. As if he was seeing her for the first time since she got out of the shower anyway. And so Kate feels very exposed.
She's not wearing anything revealing, it's just her usual stay-at-home clothes, but she usually doesn't have anyone else here to see; black leggings that she wears to yoga, and a blue tank top that was the first one she found in her closet.
Kate makes a noise in her throat, and it snaps him out of his stupor.
"Oh right." Breaking out of his trance, he gives her an answer. "Well Kate, I bet the familiarity of the simple and usual has its appeal, but trust me, trying new things can surprise you in a really good way."
She decides she likes that answer. It's strange how she just likes some of the things this man has to say.
"Which do you recommend, then?" The question arises, pointing to the ice creams.
He seems to be thinking carefully.
"I didn't have my favorite, so I guess we'll have to settle for second best: guava cheese!"
Kate arches her eyebrows. "Seriously, Castle?"
"Don't judge until you try it, let's go." Rick indicates. "Let's watch a movie too, right?"
They do. They spend the next two hours watching a random movie that none of them seem to be interested in. She knows she isn't, but she pretends well. Castle on the other hand, doesn't take his eyes off her. She notices. She feels.
He's had her try all the flavors of ice cream, and although he admits they're all spectacular (with the exception of the salted caramel, for some reason), she feels like she can't eat anything else for the next week.
And again she has that feeling. It is below her stomach, but it has nothing to do with what she ate or did not eat. It's just the way he looks at her. She likes it, she likes it a lot. But she doesn't know what to do about it. However, she knows that if it was anyone else looking at her like that, for that long without a break, she would have already drawn her gun for all the discomfort it would cause her. But not with him.
Her throat goes dry. And suddenly she needs to drink water. Kate gets up without saying anything and just goes into the kitchen, she doesn't look at him or see what's in his expression when she leaves.
She shouldn't be here trying to figure out what Richard Castle makes her feel. She should have been worried about how to deal with her father's situation. And she still has Royce with this horrible timing to arrive. All of this is just… too much.
"Is everything okay?" The deep, yet soft voice of him, of Castle, comes from the kitchen.
Kate sighs.
"Yes. I was just thirsty."
"Do you want to–" He pauses, as if he needs to make sure he's doing the right thing. "Do you want to talk about what's bothering you?"
"Everything is fine, Castle."
"It is not." His insistence on making a snort. "Share with me, Kate. You don't always have to handle everything alone."
"Is this still about the whole being honest with you thing?" she asks, suddenly remembering the subject not broached anymore. "Why is this all so important to you, Castle? You've known me for what? Two months? For God's sake."
She watches as he swallows hard. But he does not give an answer to her. Instead, he asks his own question.
"Why does it bother you? That I care about you, about your life, Kate?
Since he didn't give her an answer, she wasn't going to sign one either. She'll go back into the room and ignore it, maybe send him away.
Kate takes a breath, she puts the half-empty water bottle in the fridge and simply walks past him into the living room.
But she stops walking because suddenly there's a warm palm encircling her wrist, she swallows hard, the pressure is good but it's going to get her through it, so she just lets go of his arm and turns to face him.
And she's not sure of anything, she can't tell if he got too close or if it was her, but then those deep blue eyes are so close and his breath is reflecting over her lips. Did she have something to say? She can't remember.
He's everywhere then. The body heat, the male cologne, the heavy breathing. He's so close. Will he kiss her? This is all so confusing because she thinks she wants him to do this but she shouldn't.
Rick's warm hand that previously held her wrist encircles her waist, the warm palm makes her body tingle and then shiver, and he pulls her closer, as if that were humanly possible and Kate finds she can't breathe either. It's like all the air has evaporated from the atmosphere. She closes her eyes then. The feel of his mouth on hers promises something she's not sure she's ever experienced.
Rick does, he brushes his lips against hers, not a kiss, but the anticipation of one, right here, within reach of whoever gets it first. She thinks she's going to be that person if he doesn't do it soon. And when she moves forward on that mental note, a classic, terrible interruption breaks the moment.
It's a touch. Ringtone. It's not hers. There's someone calling.
They turn away as if they've been burned.
"It's Alexis" He announces as he picks up the phone, sounding breathless and disoriented. It's good to know she's not the only one affected. And they didn't even really kiss. "I have to take it, I'm sorry Beckett."
She waves, but he has already turned around and is answering.
"Hey pumpkin, is everything okay?" There is a long pause. "OMG, is he okay? No, fine. I got it. I'm coming over to pick you girls up. See you in a few minutes, stay put."
It's true that Kate needs time to process everything that's going on, and how she feels about it, but she can't help but feel slightly disappointed that he has to go.
This is so confusing. She was going to ask him to go and now she's upset that he is going to? What's her problem?
"I'm so sorry, Kate. Louise's older brother had an accident, the parents went to the hospital, and they asked if I could stay with the girls tonight."
"I'm so sorry, Kate. Louise's older brother had an accident, the parents went to the hospital, and they asked if I could stay with the girls tonight."
"Clear." She answers. "Of course. Go Castle."
He nods. "Fine. I'll, uh– call you, okay?"
Kate presses her lips together. "OK."
Rick wants to get close to her again. It's all over his face. The frustration, the desire, the tension. He wants her.
He walks over to her, and she thinks maybe he's going to kiss her and for real now, but he brushes his lips against her cheek this time, so he walks to the door and is gone, while she's still standing there trying to figure out what in hell is going on.