Hello everyone, it's been almost a whole month without updating. I'm sorry, my planning to write a full smut scene totally messed me up because it's been a while since I wrote anything like that.
Anyway, I know it seems like Kate just suddenly changed her mind about wanting to date Castle, but hopefully everything will be cleared up soon. Until then, I hope you enjoy the chapter. I hope I can update faster this next time. Good reading. (If you haven't seen it, maybe consider giving the fluff and smutt one shot I released this week a try. It's really good.)
xoxos, lehh
The first time an unusual noise clouds Rick's sleep that night, he thinks it's all a dream and that if he ignores it and continues sleeping the bothersome sound will go away.
It just doesn't disappear.
The sound repeats itself over and over again without following any pattern. Sometimes it's higher pitched, other times it's hoarser, but it seems to come from somewhere like a well of despair, which in turn makes him regain consciousness. When his eyes open, the room is dark. So dark that, if he weren't in his own space, he would never be able to recognize the shadow of every piece of furniture there like he does. He sits up in bed and rubs his eyes, trying to focus on figuring out what woke him up in the first place.
But then it repeats, the noise is there, next to him. He turns around and only then does the penny drop. Kate is there, next to him in bed. The sound came from her.
The desperate and agony-filled sound came from her.
The same feeling as before, the same one that invaded him that last night in the cabin, the same one that took him the night before when she asked to stay, coats his body and his heart once again, because she is crying and is desperately asking for something to stop. She is suffering terribly.
"Katie" The first time he says her name it's more to himself. He is taking in what is happening, so in the next moment he moves closer to her and brings his hands to hold hers which are moving incessantly. "Kate, wake up."
The tense sleeping body trembles and becomes even more agitated. A lump grows in his throat from watching her struggle so violently in her dreams. He should have known how bad it was for her to ask to stay. "Kate, honey, wake up." The protective, caring tone comes automatically, and he holds her a little tighter this time. "Please. Please, Kate.You need to wake up. It's just a dream. It's not real. I'm here with you. You need to wake up, dear."
When she opens her eyes, he sees the horror in them.
Whatever she was experiencing, it was brutal and cruel. Her eyes are wet and tears continue to flow, the sobs coming almost too quickly. "Castle" She begs, he's not sure what.
Then he pulls her towards him again, like he did the first time he witnessed one of her nightmares. "You're awake, Kate." Rick murmurs, wrapping his arms around her and holding her tight. She is sweaty, stiff and very scared. "You're awake, love. Good job. It's over. It wasn't real, okay?"
Kate moans in pain against his chest. She cries loudly, as if she can't help but break down like this, as if this emotional pain is physical.
And he feels pain seeing her in such agony.
"It wasn't real, Kate" He promises, holding her so close. "It wasn't real. I promise. I'm here with you. I'm right here, okay?'
"Rick" She breathes, tears clogging her nose. Her body rises a little, she anchors herself to his chest with one hand and looks at him. In the dark indeed. "Rick, make it stop. Please."
Confusion is all over him, until she kisses him.
An oppressive mixture of everything he ever wanted and everything he should never claim, especially now, takes over him through the way she kisses him. He is not chaste or shy, he is despotic and devastating. Kate is claiming his mouth like it always belonged to her in the first place.
Rick accompanies her despite the initial shock, he lets her do it if that's what she needs. He lets her kiss him so violently as if she wanted to rip the soul out of his body through the kiss. And he holds her, until she adjusts and mounts him. There is still a sheet between them, but he begins to follow what she has in mind and he doesn't approve.
"Kate" Calls for her. She does not stop. He tries to avoid her mouth, and calls her again. "Kate, we need to stop."
She shakes her head, decided. "No no." And kisses him again. He can taste her tears on her tongue as she refuses to back down. Kate takes his hands and guides them to her hips. "Rick, please. I want this."
No.
He can not. Not like this. It's not that he doesn't want to, but this? It feels a lot like using her in an extremely vulnerable state, and he would never do something like that. She deserves much more and he is not like that. Rick raises his hands to hold her face and pull her away, making her look into his eyes.
"Kate, no." He says. "Not like that. That's…"
"She was dying, Rick" Kate's desperate voice pleads. She's still crying. "She was dying again and again and I just couldn't do anything. I was useless, I didn't do anything. I need to feel something else. Anything, please."
She tries to kiss him again, but he doesn't let her.
"Katie…"
"Don't call me that!"
"Right." Rick assimilates. "But Kate, honey, we can't… not like this. You'll regret it. You're not well and you're not thinking clearly. It's not the empty pleasure you need."
Kate sobs, she takes his hands off her face.
"How can you know what I need?"
"Because you're in pain." He responds, enveloped in her desolation. "We don't cure pain with pleasure. We take care of pain and give it time."
She gets off of him as if she had been burned. The crying still continues, but she turns her back to him this time.
"What a shame" The phrase echoes around the room. It's low and husky, and she's saying it to herself, but he hears it.
"He comes closer, he sits next to her on the bed. Both with their feet on the ground. "Don't think I rejected you, Kate." The guarantee unfolds easily on her tongue. "I want you. I want it so bad it hurts. But not like this."
Another hiccup. "It hurts so much" When she says it, he knows she isn't talking about the situation between them.
Then he pulls her towards him again, and hugs her again, until she has her head resting against his chest. "I know, honey. I'm sorry." He whispers into her hair. "I am here."
Kate spends a lot of time in silence. So much so that he thinks she fell asleep even though she's still sobbing.
"You said something about empty pleasure" she surprises him. "It's not empty, Rick. It couldn't be empty. It was you."
When Kate opens her eyes the next morning, she immediately feels Rick's warm, commanding presence behind her. His breath is reflecting all over the back of her neck, and his arm has a firm grip on her waist. His scent is everywhere and only then does she realize it.
She is in Richard Castle's bed.
Flashes of last night watching movies with his daughter and asking to stay invade her head at the same time as the nightmare and the failed seduction attempt. She blushes with embarrassment at the thought of that last part. But then she thinks about how he held her in his arms again, and all she can think about is how grateful she is that he was there.
The desire to see him in her sleep takes over her, but he is behind her back and she is afraid to move and wake him. And although instinct whispers in her mind that she check the time and leave before Alexis goes downstairs for breakfast and school, Kate finds that a big part of her wants to stay right where she is. Still in the arms of her favorite author.
"You have to go?" She hears Rick's husky voice ask. He doesn't make a move to move away from her, even now awake. She likes that.
"I think I have a few more minutes." She responds, even though she has no idea what time it is.
"Good." He murmurs, sleepy and satisfied, snuggling closer to her and placing a kiss right on her neck.
She gasps at the unexpected action, but thinks he goes back to sleep right away because he doesn't say anything else. But she discovers that she loves the feeling of being curled up with this manly form that is Richard Castle, in his bed.
"Are you still going on a date with me?" Rick asks, looking apprehensive, and only then does she realize he hasn't gone back to sleep. He only stayed silent because he was afraid she would backtrack.
Kate disentangles herself from his arms, even though she hates it because she needs to look at him now, so she turns so they have eye contact.
"Do you really think I would change my mind because of last night?" Yes, she's still embarrassed about it, of course she is. The part about him saying no make it feel like she was offered and that's something she can mull over inside herself.
His blue eyes look insecure.
The lines on his face look a little strained.
He shrugs and avoids her eyes. "I just wanted to make sure I didn't screw up. You've always been wary about me."
She makes him look at her, her hand touching his face.
"Rick, yes I was, and at first it might have been because of the rumors, but then it was much more about me than about you. I was scared. I still am, actually." The confession creates a lump in her throat. "But you're always here. And you were right last night. So yes, Rick, I'm still going on a date with you."
He smiles instantly, and it's so sincere.
"I need to go now. Alexis is going to come down any minute and I don't want her to see me getting out of your bed."
"If we stay in bed all day she won't see" He suggests, with the excitement of a child.
Kate rolls her eyes but smiles anyway, because that's a rather pleasant idea.
"Nice try, big Rick, but I have some things to do today."
"No work at the precinct, then?"
She shakes her head. "No. It's my day off."
He waves, but remains silent and still as if he is plotting something.
"Are you going to say what's on your mind?"
"Not yet. But you'll know soon enough."
"Right." She narrows her eyes but nods. "What about you? Do you have plans for today?"
He shrugs. "Actually yes. I have a meeting with my marketing consultant to see how we are going to promote this new book. Its launch is close and Gina is on my side so as not to leave everything at the last minute as usual."
Kate tries and fails to keep from grimacing when she hears the name of the editor he almost married.
"So I'm going to go get Alexis from the lounge, and watch her pace around while she waits for James to arrive, and you know, be on standby in case she needs it, and wait for her to come home."
This part, however, makes her smile.
"We can, uh- have dinner together while you wait for her, if you want."
The idea seems to come easily to him.
"I'd love to, Kate."
When she gets up from the bed, he pulls her back in, and doesn't let her go until he manages to kiss her, and mumble something about how he can't wait for tonight.
Rick is nervous.
Alexis just walked out that door arm in arm with James, and all he can think about is how scary and weird this is and he's not ready. She should wait for a few more years before growing up at least. This is just so unfair.
Kate must be on her way, he knows. She's bringing dinner and they're going to eat it together and this will be kind of a cozy, impromptu first date at home too. But she doesn't know that he decided to plan the best, most romantic first date she's ever had, so just like their first kiss isn't their first official kiss, their first date won't be their first official date either.
If everything goes well, it will be next week.
But today, he is completely torn between worry and horror at his teenage daughter's first meeting, and excitement and delight at the fact that he will spend the next few hours in the company of Kate Beckett.
He wanted her from the first moment he saw her, it's true. The way she shone among so many others and still didn't want to get closer. Her seductive, commanding, and absurdly stunning feminine form is just the icing on the cake.
In the last few months he has seen a lot more of her. He saw the smart, competent NYPD detective, the best they could have, he saw flashes of a kind, hormonal teenage Kate, of a daughter tragically affected by her lack of a mother, and he saw the Kate who seems to have a natural rapport. with his teenage daughter, and the scared Kate who kept him at a distance to protect herself. Rick thinks there are many more sides to her to discover, but the truth is he is absurdly grateful for the nuances she has already allowed him to explore.
And they're having dinner tonight.
She's giving him a chance.
He's genuinely invested in the idea of it.
Okay, he's probably nervous about both of tonight's events.
The doorbell rings and he adjusts the burgundy dress shirt he's wearing. He also looks at his reflection in the oven glass to make sure his hair is okay.
Kate arrived. OMG.
"Coming" He promises, loud enough for her to hear, walking to open the door.
Rick opens the door, nervousness still driving his actions, and when he looks at her, her eyes widen and he forgets how to speak.
She is… breathtaking.
She's not wearing anything different, just dark trousers, a purple collared sweater and a beautiful red coat. And she is so beautiful. Her hair is down in waves, and she has that eyeliner and a kind, shy smile. He is so delighted.
"Hi," She murmurs, holding a takeout package.
"Hey" Rick responds. "You look beautiful." Adds.
Kate pulls her bottom lip between her teeth. "Thanks, Rick."
"Come in, please." He moves away from the door, giving her room to enter. She makes.
"And Alexis?" She asks, a few steps forward, as he closes the door behind them.
"She came out 15 minutes ago. Apparently it's a surprise for her, but James heard that Blue Pill is playing somewhere in midtown, and since it's her favorite band…. Well." He pauses, and sighs. "And then they'll have dinner at Lindens, I think."
"Wow. That's sweet. Would you say he likes her too?" She turns to face him.
Rick looks back at her. "Sweet? Yes, well. It's sweet. What's your favorite band, Beckett?"
Kate arches her eyebrows at him.
"Writing down a teenager's ideas, Castle?"
He widens his eyes again. "Course not."
"Right." She smiles, and holds out the travel package with their dinner. "I brought it from Remy's. Our favorite."
He smiles, seeming to wake up. He takes the envelope from her hand, and starts walking. "Okay. I'll get the plates and silverware. Please make yourself comfortable, okay?"
She nods, and maybe she notices how nervous he is because he's been so bad at hiding it. In his peripheral vision, he can see her taking off her red coat and putting it away before walking to catch up with him.
"We don't have to eat right away, you know." She says.
He nods. "Do you want a glass of wine?"
She nods too. "Yes."
He keeps the food in the turned off oven, just to keep it warm if possible. Then he opens a bottle of wine and pours two glasses. Rick gives Kate hers.
Rick thinks she feels that thing... the spark, when her fingers brush together for the glass.
"You said Remy's. Was Lucca there?" Although he tried, he couldn't help but bring it up.
Kate narrows her eyes at him. "He was."
"And?"
"And What?"
"He couldn't have given up like that. Any flirting? Did he ask for your number?"
"I thought we were already through this." She says, and then drinks her wine.
"We did."
"It does not seem. Rick, I'm at your house. I spent last night in your bed. I'll go out with you. I kissed you. Not Lucca."
"I know it. I just asked. It is not a big deal."
Kate sets the glass on the counter, then invades Rick's personal space. Those green eyes are looking as if they see into his soul. The proximity is still a little strange and terrifying, but it also feels so familiar it's confusing. Her scent is all around him now. "You haven't kissed me since I arrived."
It makes him smile—surprised and childish, and as genuine as possible. His hands, now free from the wine glass too, fall to hold her waist. "I guess we've left the official first kiss thing behind, then?"
"Kiss me first, we'll discuss it later."
Rick is surprised by Kate. This is so recent. In himself, he thinks that even she is surprised at herself. But here they are, in his kitchen, so close that he can feel the heat on her skin, and she's asking him to kiss her, so he does.
He leans in — because despite the jump, he's still much bigger than her —, shares the same air she's breathing and takes in her eyes closed expectantly, only then does Rick dive for her lips.
It's a tender brush, gentle and affectionate, but she urges him on with her tongue, and suddenly the kiss becomes much deeper. They kiss like teenagers, she clutching his face and he lowers his hands to her hips. Kate tastes like a sip of wine, and vanilla, and smells strongly like cherry. It's an overabundant mixture that seems to paralyze Rick and his brain for some time, either that or because much of the blood starts to descend south as well.
"Kate" Breathe into her mouth. "We should have dinner."
"I'm not hungry" she counters, moving towards his mouth again. She's so good at it. Her mouth is so talented in contact with his, it makes him wonder what else she is very good at.
"The order is all wrong" A ghost of his original sentence sounds, but none of them move away anyway. "I should take you to dinner."
"We had dinner together" She gives him the answer. "Many times. In the cabin."
He gives in when she makes that sound in the back of her throat as he kisses her. He lowers his hands until they wrap around her thighs and pulls her up, making those sculptural legs that he has admired so many times wrap around her hips. Rick swallows hard, and mumbles his own desperate moan when he feels her press against his erection still trapped in his pants.
His mouth drops to Kate's neck because she needs to breathe, and he notices. He walks towards the bedroom with her, being quite good at avoiding the furniture along the way, even though his attention was focused on her. The way some things are done becomes a blur, because suddenly Kate is lying on the white quilt on his bed and he's looking at her, and she's so beautiful.
She has that look in her eyes. Lust transcribed in its purest origin reflected in those green irises, and he had no idea that she wanted him so much too.
The first thing he takes off her is her purple turtleneck sweater, and he discovers the color of the bra she is wearing, it is red with lace. Rick takes his time with her. Her mouth distributes kisses along the entire length of her neck, enjoying each time she moves, desperately yearning for more and reacting to each caress. Rick pays attention to the marked clavicle, he goes over the area, marks it with his tongue, brushes it with his teeth and soothes it with more kisses.
Her fingers intertwine with the strands of his scalp, and she guides him to the cleavage hidden beneath the lace. It's not difficult to understand the tip.
"Holy shit!" Kate resonates when his mouth, dipping into her covered cleavage, takes a nipple into his mouth. Rick knows that although some women like the sensation, not everyone has extreme sensitivity in their breasts. He just found out that Kate has it. He wants to know more about her body. He lowers the burgundy straps of her bra, and lowers the lace for better access and then dives in again. She thrashes beneath him and mutters a mix of curses he's not sure she knows. It seems like another language. "Блин, это так хорошо!!" She speaks again and he smiles.
Rick pays attention to both her breasts, he covers each stretch of skin with her hand, his mouth also gets part of her with endless kisses and delicious sucking and an out of control Kate Beckett looking for more.
The next moment her pants are being pulled down her legs, but he doesn't take off her panties yet. He looks. The red-burgundy lace fabric covering the center of her legs, and the bra still on her body, but falling below her breasts and all he can think about is how stunning her beauty is.
He thinks of her first, speaking a language he thinks is Russian but isn't sure, and then makes his own comment in another language.
"Tu es la plus belle femme que j'ai jamais vue."
Kate looks at him, with a look that he has no idea what it means and she bites her lower lip. He could almost swear she blushed.
She rubs her legs together, and sighs.
"Rick, please" She's ready to do it again, but he holds her thighs. The surprise is there when she sets eyes on him again.
"Say it again."
"Say what again?"
"Please." He specifies, moving his fingers up to the height of your panties. "Say it again."
"You really are one of those people who make us beg, because look- Fuck!" Kate stops when his fingers brush her clit through her panties.
"Say please, and I will do whatever you want."
With her eyes closed, need making her body shake, she gives him what he wants.
"Please, Rick."
So he also gives her what she wants.
Kate is sure she is combusting.
She can tell that she is red all over because her body is burning all over.
Rick's hand has just reached her panties to the side, and he's prostrate and ready to slide his tongue into her, and all she can think about is how she can put it off for so long.
Her body writhes on the bed at the sign of the first contact of his tongue on her lips, she knows how wet she is, and so does he. "Fuck-" She screams, and is vehemently grateful for the fact that Alexis is at some Show and Marta is in who-knows-where.
He's come back, his lips are kissing the surface of her thighs with an irritating lull and she's getting really angry. She needs him, and he's so close but he's playing. "Rick" Kate asks, she knows he understands. He doesn't respond or stop doing what he's doing.
"Rick, please" She whimpers again. His kisses on her are great, they are delicious and awaken the best sensations, but right now, she needs more.
"We're almost there" He promises. "Be patient, love."
Her chest is rising and falling and she is aching with need and want, he is kissing her other thigh and she wants to shoot him. "Castle," Kate says, sounding more breathless and less threatening than she intended.
When it doesn't work again, she grabs his hair again, like she did a few moments before, and drags him to the exact place she needs him. And when he finally tastes her, she thinks she could die at any moment.
He moans at the taste of her in his mouth and mutters something like 'so long.'
His tongue is hot and hits all the right places. He explores between her folds, he kisses her there and sucks on her sensitive bundle of nerves in a way that makes her scream things that even she isn't sure what it means. And just when Kate thinks it can't get any better he slides two fingers inside her, and her body writhes off the bed.
"OMG" She moans, it's loud and completely in English. "You feel so good, Castle."
When the wave of serotonin crashes through her, her whole body trembles, and he is still licking her to prolong her orgasm as long as possible, until she becomes too sensitive and pulls him by the hair so that he crashes his mouth to hers and kiss her so intensely that it seems like there is nothing else besides them. Kate savors her own taste, and they kiss for what seems like ages.
"You are so beautiful" She hears him whisper against her mouth. It's soft, and it's wet from the kiss and the taste of her, and it feels so right. "So incomparable." He adds, as if this were his most raw and genuine truth. "My imagination didn't do you justice."
Kate murmurs softly, a smile escaping her lips, and the color on her face could be from the compliments or from how hot they are. When her strength, previously somewhat hazy from convulsive pleasure, returns, she pushes his good weight off of her, and when he falls flat on the mattress, she settles on top.
"You haven't seen anything yet," she promises, leaning in to brush her lips against his ears.
She unclasps her bra to finish getting rid of it, which was below her breasts and squeezing her abdomen. The panties are still there, but she's too comfortable straddling him to move yet. She can take it off later.
Rick moans beneath her.
She likes the way he sounds, and how they seem to fit together perfectly despite all the clothes he's still wearing. Kate is burning for him, and judging by the way he's hard and pulsing beneath her, she thinks he feels that way too.
Hopefully this night is far from over