"Never Give Up (On Each Other)"
Author: carmen_085
Disclaimer: I do not own any Walking Dead Characters. I do own all original characters.
Summary: In the months before the beginning of the apocalypse, Daryl finds himself homeless, alone, and with no direction. An adult Beth is struggling to balance her job, sick parents, and the farm. Feeling like the world is suffocating her, will taking a chance on a stranger change everything ? Can these two find what they need in each other before life as they know it ends and they must do anything to survive. AU but eventual ZA with full cast.
***Talk of Non-Consensual Sex & Suicide in this Chapter, no actual you 've been warned***
Chapter Thirty-Four
The warm day had given way to a chilly night. The run had been more than successful, it was had been life changing. Finding Rosita was just as improbable as it was miraculous and once she and Beth embraced they didn't leave each other's arms. Daryl was grateful, not just for finding Rosita alive but also that Beth now had the companionship of another woman. And not just another woman, a friend and confidant- another nurse just as smart and capable as Beth. Daryl didn't say it out loud, not sure exactly what Rosita's plans were, but he hoped she could stay at least until Beth had the baby. God knows it would make him feel a hell of a lot better about everything.
After quickly checking her friend out and Rosita's repeated assurances that she was alright, Beth finally assented that they could push on. And it was a good thing they did because luck was on their side today. Just a short walk up the road they found a car with enough gas and charge on the battery to start. Shane and Daryl took the front, keeping weapons out and ready while Rosita, Beth and both dogs slid into the back, still stuck to one another, Rosita whispering a few words in Beth's ear that made her smile. Maize, ever the intuitive shepherd, laid her big body across Rosita's lap as the wolf folded itself on the floor at Beth's feet.
It was Rosita who mentioned that she'd seen a shopping plaza; run down and with a few walkers roaming around the parking lot, she wasn't sure there would be anything left. It was worth a shot, though, and the four of them quickly agreed they needed to at least see it. A few gear shops, a small grocery store, and miraculously a Walmart. Not a SuperCenter like they were so familiar with but an older store without the massive grocery section. Daryl could feel the excitement radiating off of Beth as he was quick to warn her that it was probably cleaned out. Beth nodded, it probably was, but she also surmised that baby stuff wouldn't have been much of a priority as the world was ending. Come to think of it, she'd not even seen a baby in the last year; a fact that made her stomach churn and her heart sink.
Pushing away her fear, she knew that Daryl would never let anything happen to her. Neither would Shane and with Rosita here it was almost too good to be true. Yes, pregnancy was dangerous but life had to go on. And it did; they took all the baby things they could fit in the car along with any other useful essentials and they left headed back up the mountain they called home. Daryl knew the car would only get them so far and then they would need to walk. He and Shane would need to make several more trips back to get all the things they'd taken into their little homestead, but if Beth felt she had what she needed here to safely have their baby then he'd make a hundred trips if that's what it took.
It was about a mile from the end of the road to their home and Daryl brought the car to a stop in a thicket of trees. It was completely sheltered, and no one would find it unless they were looking. Each of them took everything they could carry and following the dogs they began their climb up the mountain. Rosita hadn't said much and while Daryl didn't know her well he did remember her as a bad ass. Tough, take no shit, outspoken but also very caring- especially toward Beth. Right now she was none of that. Hollowed out and flat, it was apparent to him that something terrible must have happened. She'd not mentioned Abraham and seeing as how he was no where to be found, Daryl could only assume the worst. It wasn't his place to pry, though, and when they got back Beth would do whatever was needed.
The sun was setting earlier each day and this evening was no different as orange and red streaks marked the end of the late autumn day. Once dark it quickly became cold and not for the first time since they'd found this place Beth said a prayer of thanks. Sleeping outside tonight would have be absolutely miserable. They had stew that Beth made from vegetables preserved in their root cellar along with dried deer that Daryl worked all autumn to preserve. Just a little water and the meat came back to life adding much needed protein to their diets. When she put a bowl down in front of Rosita she just stared, unable to believe she was about to eat a hot meal and then numbly brought a spoon to her mouth as tears rolled down her cheeks. She listened to the three of them talk but said nothing at all.
After dinner was cleaned up and their newly acquired possessions stored, Beth took Rosita into her and Daryl's bedroom. It had been quickly decided, without even speaking, that Daryl would take the couch. Normally Shane would retire to his own cabin, the wolf usually following him, as Dary, Beth, and Maize went to sleep in theirs. Tonight was different, though, and asking Daryl if he minded the company Shane settled himself down on the recliner. All the furniture was old and worn but comfortable just the same. A fire roared in the stone hearth as the two men talked winter preparations, spring planting, and general bullshitting
Beth was grateful for it, there was nothing worse than hearing the low murmurs of others talking behind your back. Rosita had nothing but the clothes on her back, and even though Beth didn't have much more herself she did have enough to spare her friend an oversized flannel to sleep in. As the two women settled in under the heavy quilts and throws, rain began to tap on the bedroom window.
"This place is nice." Beth smiled up at the ceiling, it was nice and they'd made it even nicer- so much hard work and still so much left to do.
"Yeah. We've been here since the spring. We were lucky." Rosita opened her mouth in the dark to say something but no words came out. Beth lay next to her in the dark not wanting to pressure or push her into anything she wasn't ready for. Reaching over she took her friend's hand into her own and that was all it took.
Rosita began to cry, sniffling at first and then sobbing quietly. Beth didn't know anything else to do and pulled her friend into her arms, holding her gently. Rosita didn't fight it and rested her head against Beth's chest as she cried.
"Shhh…I'm here." It broke her heart to see this happening and she could only imagine the awful things that Rosita had gone through since she'd seen her last. Running her fingers though her friend's long, dark hair she whispered reassurances.
It came out of her in halting, stuttering gasps of pain. She and Abraham left Georgia for Texas to find her family. But as they got closer he grew distant and strange. They had their fair share of brushes running into herds of walkers and a few groups. They'd both killed the dead and the living, sharing every burden of their journey equally. They both had family there and had come to the mutual decision to leave Georgia and go so it wasn't as if she'd forced him into doing this.
Something was wrong, though, and no amount of sex could change it; Rosita employing her charms every chance she got. If the world hadn't ended she would have said she could survive without him, but now she literally had to survive and she honestly wasn't sure she could do it alone. So she ducked her head and carried on hoping that everything made sense when they got home.
Standing outside her mother's house she couldn't even cry. Whatever happened here happened long ago and what was now left wasn't home at all. A house that had been pillaged and raided, the only thing left of any value were the photos on the walls. She took a few when he wasn't looking and slipped them in her pack not wanting a lecture on operational necessity. Her mother, her brothers, and her aunt and uncle were long gone; dead or alive it was anyone's guess now as she stared out at the deserted neighborhood. They took what they could and hit the road. Rosita had no idea where to go next, she had an Uncle in El Paso but that was far- too far for nothing more than a chance.
Abraham didn't seem to share her doubts, however, and they made a beeline for Dallas. She'd met him in Houston when he was stationed there with the National Guard and he'd always led her to believe that was where he was from. But now as the roaring engine churned north she wondered if there was something she didn't know. One exit and five turns later she had her answer.
He was married
And not just married but the whole fucking shebang. The house, the yard, the sensible family car in the driveway- even a red mailbox bearing the name Ford. She sat silently in the truck as he frantically searched the house- his house- for any sign of the family he left behind. She'd heard about this kind of thing before, men in the military living a double life but she never suspected it because….damn was he good.
He didn't say a word when he got back into the truck. They stopped three more places where he searched like a wild man as she watched on in both horror and disbelief. At their last stop- a shitty convenience store- he got himself boxed in between a herd of them and she had to do something. Stupid as she was, Rosita still loved him, her brain not yet catching up to this new reality. They dispatched the herd and were on their way back to the truck when a man in shorts and mullet came running. He was chubby, pale, and clearly ill prepared to be out amongst the dead. Rosita knew they would be leaving him behind, Abraham having no patience for dead weight. The truck was rolling and the mullet was chasing, giving her the first bit of humor since this whole nightmare of Texas began.
"Wait ! HEY ! " Abraham cast a look in the mirror. "I have cure. I need to get to WASHINGTON !" The truck braked so hard she nearly hit her head off the dash.
"What did you say ?" Abraham was out of the truck and the Mullet didn't hesitate to double down.
"I said I have a cure. I know what caused all this and I know how to fix it." Staring him down through slitted eyes he finally relented grunted and nodded the ghost of a smile playing on his lips.
"Get in." And that was that. Without so much as a nod in her direction they were headed back east toward DC. The utter disaster of Texas behind them, Abraham had his mission and he was back to normal. But Rosita couldn't just forget all this, and she resolved that when a better opportunity came along she was out of there. It would only be a few more weeks.
Weeks turned into months, though, as they constantly got sidetracked and behind schedule. They ran out of fuel and had to walk for three days to find more. They ran out of food and had to put the whole expedition on hold for a week. Eugene- that was the mullet's name- got sick and Abraham tore through every hospital in Arkansas until they found the antibiotics he needed. They moved together and once Rosita had gotten caught up in surviving she forgot about the egregious betrayal and her hurt eventually faded. Things went back to the way they were. It was like nothing happened at all.
They settled in Alabama for a long while, riding out something akin to a hurricane and the lack of a ride. They walked back into Georgia where they stayed for months longer until Abraham found another armored truck and by then it was late summer. They were back on the road to Washington when they ran across people in the road. Any threat to Eugene was met with a spray of bullets; the two of them brainwashed into believing he was the mullet haired scientific messiah. They fought for him, bled for him, and killed for him. He was the mission.
They found and lost people along the way, picking up two more along the road in Georgia. A man and women with no group and no place to call their own. Abraham saw them as two more able bodied fighters that would protect Eugene and just like that they were off- a group of five. It seemed as if they would make it all the way like that, cruising along in their armored truck, mini van, school bus, fire truck- vehicles as she explained were always the problem; breaking down, running out of gas, crashing- you name it.
They were alongside the road as they'd been so many times before. It was really no big deal they'd find something to eat and some fresh water, regroup and head back out on foot until they found their next ride. A pack of walkers came out of nowhere, though, and Eugene finally lost it blurting out that he'd made the whole thing up. There was no cure.
All the anger he had for Eugene he channels toward her, turning and hitting her across the face so hard she fell to the ground. It was then, in that very moment, that she realized it was over. She didn't deserve much but she sure as fuck deserved more than this. Rosita took her bag and her weapon and started walking. No one came after her.
Beth listened intently as a soft gasp escaped her lips. Abraham had always been very crass but she could have never guessed he was capable of this. Part of her wanted to tell Rosita it was ok, she didn't have to tell her everything. Still, an even larger part of her knew that she probably needed to tell her everything. Carrying all of this alone was a burden no one should bear alone.
When she started walking she had no idea where she was going but found herself headed back toward the farm. Beth's breath hitched in her throat wondering if she'd seen it but was quickly disappointed when Rosita confirmed she couldn't get close. Herd after herd moving out of Atlanta pushed her back into the countryside and then into the forest. Alone during the dark night she sat bolt upright awake with her blade in hand too afraid to even think of sleep. She paused for a moment and Beth hoped- prayed- that was it. But it wasn't, it never could be.
It happened in a house. Dark and long abandoned it was the first bed she'd seen in weeks. She knew it was mistake to be that comfortable, sleeping in an actual bed, but she was exhausted and her body had all but collapsed. She hadn't seen anyone for days. She had no idea where they came from, but looking back she realized they must have been following her all along. There was one; on top of her so heavy holding her down she could barely breath. It happened so fast she didn't even have time to register pain. But then there was another one, and another, and one after that. Four all together before she blacked out and shut down. That was two weeks ago. If she hadn't found them when she did she was going to kill herself; just one bullet left.
Rosita was quiet after that. Beth knew it was selfish of her but she cried silently for her friend and what she had to endure. Rolling onto her side, Rosita made no move to slide away and Beth didn't hesitate to wrap her arms around her trembling body and hold her close, intent for her to know that she was finally safe. The two women fell asleep that way, Maize on the other side of Rosita keeping her just as warm and protected.
When the sun came up the next day, Beth carefully slide out of the bed and relieved herself in the bucket they kept in the corner. Daryl had kept the fire going all night and Beth was slightly surprised to see Shane in the recliner. When the door opened the two men looked at her. Whatever was in her face must've said it all because neither of them said a word. She made breakfast of porridge and wild blackberries keeping a bowl for Rosita as the three of them ate in silence at the table.
Before Daryl and Shane left to see to their morning chores, Daryl placed a large pot of water over the fire. Kissing Beth he pulled her into a tight hug. "You alright ?" She nodded offering him a small smile.
"Just thinking how lucky I've been to have you." Daryl paused for a moment before shaking his head.
"Nah, Beth I was the lucky one." He turned leaving the cabin as she was left lost in thought.
Daryl was crazy, without him she'd be dead. Caught up in the nonsense with Maggie and her Daddy, allowing Rick to blindly lead her nowhere; she could only imagine. Or worse- so much worse. She knew the things that happened to Rosita could happen but actually hearing it was something else entirely.
When Rosita woke and had eaten what little breakfast she could stomach, Beth took her by the hand and led her over to the kitchen sink. Using the warm water along with some lavender shampoo they'd scrounged at Walmart Beth tenderly washed her hair taking care to remove the knots and tangles. For her part Rosita sat on the stool feeling like a small child and not really caring either way. Beth took her time, massaging her scalp and tending to her in a way that no one had in so long, maybe not even since she'd last seen her mother. When she was done she toweled her hair off and braided it. Leaving Rosita in the privacy of the bedroom she offered her the remainder of the hot water, a few wash clothes and a bar of soap.
Getting cleaned up and changing into fresh clothes had done more for her than she could have imagined. She hadn't told Beth but the worst part about what happened to her was not being able to clean herself afterwards. For days she walked around smelling like those men unable to sleep or eat, wandering around like a zombie herself. It was late fall and chilly but still she prayed for rain, and when it finally did she staggered from the abandoned gas station to soak herself to the bone. Standing out there until she couldn't take it anymore, she spent that night awake, shivering, and alone. She could back track and find Abraham again; capitulate herself to being nothing more than his punching bag. No… she'd rather die. She'd give it a few more days, if after that nothing changed she was done. One single bullet left for no one but herself.
But everything changed. Places like this and people like Beth, Daryl, and Shane didn't exist anymore. So this….this whole thing seemed like a dream. Not wanting to wake up and have it not be true she collapsed back into bed. Her body absolutely melting into the sheets.
After cleaning up, Beth checked on Rosita finding her asleep and tucked into bed. Closing the door silently she tiptoed out onto the porch drawing the worn green barn jacket around her. Daryl had found the coat for her last fall and even though the zipper was broken she assured him over and over that it was absolutely perfect. And it was- a simple reminder of the life she'd once had. Now it wasn't quite enough to block out the chill as she crossed her arms over her chest. Of all the material things that Beth was grateful for, she was most thankful for her boots. The same work boots that she'd worn on the farm they'd kept her feet warm and dry during so many horrible days. Today her jeans were cuffed up and her thick wool socks pulled over them, her hair hung loosely around her face as she sat down on the top step. Staring out into the cold, gray November day she couldn't stop herself from crying.
It was Shane who wandered over sitting down beside her and not saying a word. What was there to say ? After a sob escaped from Beth's throat, he put an arm around her and she didn't fight him. Shane wasn't Daryl and he never would be, but he was something more than a friend- he had become her family and they trusted each other beyond measure. Beth didn't need to tell him, he just knew; whatever Rosita had been through was unspeakable.
"We'll take care of her. She'll be alright." His rough voice soothed her just as much as the hand that rubbed her shoulder. Looking out at the quiet trees Shane exhaled slowly. "She'll be alright."
He had it all and then he lost it. The last place he would have wanted to be before had now turned into one of the safest places after. A prison just north of Neunan, half of it caved in and broken down but the other half viable and sturdy. It took them months to make it livable but they did it somehow. Progress didn't come with out a price, though, and along the way they'd lost T-Dog to a walker in the tombs. It was a blow to Rick that he didn't see coming, then as he was still reeling the knock out punch was delivered.
Lori
They weren't on the best of terms. Her secret affair with Shane and the baby she aborted back on the farm eventually coming to light as a result of nothing more than her own guilt. Rick felt like the wind had been knocked out of him. He'd been too busy trying to survive to notice much else.
An affair was an affair; the product of a situation and nothing more. The thing he couldn't get out of his head was that she'd aborted a baby without saying a word to anyone. Well until it was too late of course and then she had all of them running in circles trying to save her. She cried and thrashed her arms, telling him what she had with Shane was a mistake- it was all a mistake the unborn baby included. Rick sucked in a sharp burst of air. Between the time they'd been reunited at the quarry until that farm fell, he and Lori had been intimate a handful of times.
In a blur of anger he threw her against the wall screaming that it could have also been his baby she aborted. He expected remorse, shock, guilt but instead he was met with stoney silence and a sharp stare. This world was no place for a baby no matter who the father was. He couldn't look at her, couldn't see be in the same room as her, breath the same air. It all made him so sick he nearly wretched with agony.
They continued on like that until it was too late. His name was Andrew and when Rick dispatched the other inmates he was sure Andrew had been taken down by walkers. But he managed to survive and hid in the tombs until he saw his chance. By the time Rick got to the boiler room she was gone, devoured by a bloated walker.
From that moment forward it was as if his world had been ripped in two. The anger he felt melted into guilt and despair that was all consuming. At his weakest he stayed in bed for days not moving or caring that the fences were in jeopardy or that another group was threatening their home. With T Dog gone leadership fell into the hands of Maggie and Glenn. They were a far cry from Rick and even farther from Beth and Daryl but it was all they had, and they suffered for it immensely. Now this group and their leader, a man who called himself the Governor, had driven a truck through their gates and dropped off a car load of walkers.
Everyone was scared or angry and he had no one to blame but himself. He'd done everything he could to hold onto the old way of life and it had gotten him nothing. They needed to make stand, though, rebuild and try to hold on to what they had. If they lost the prison and had to go back out onto the road, Rick doubted any of them would survive.
Fall slipped into winter, Beth spending most of her days in front of the fireplace writing in her journal or reading. After all this time she'd managed to hold on to Siddiq's natural medicine book, thinking of him often and hoping that he was someplace safe. In addition to that Daryl had found her a very old book on identifying plants in the area and much to her surprise many of the herbs and plants that could make her pregnancy easier were growing right here on this mountain. Of course they would need to wait for spring to forage but she was hopeful that it could be done.
As it would turn out, Rosita knew how to knit- well at least she thought she remembered enough- and on a snowy December day the two women sat down and began to make blankets, hats, and booties for the baby. Beth's stomach had started to swell slightly as she found herself rubbing her belly absentmindedly wondering if they would have a boy or a girl. As a nurse she knew all the things that could be wrong, or going wrong, without the benefit of prenatal care. Still, as she often reminded herself and Daryl, life had to go on.
As time went by Rosita eventually felt herself coming alive again. Beth was obviously her strongest support system and there was truly nothing she couldn't go to her for or talk to her about, and in return Rosita threw herself into studying anything she could get her hands on regarding home childbirth, post partum, and neonatal care. She remembered some of it from nursing school but not actually doing that sort of nursing during her career she'd also forgotten so much of it. She read and re-read the books on herbs, plants, and natural medicines and promised Beth as soon as the ground thawed they would go looking for roots and then plants and buds soon after. They would get her through this pregnancy no matter what it took.
Daryl and Shane had surprised her in more ways than one and had turned out to be just as supportive and caring toward her as Beth. Of course she'd met Daryl a few times before, but so much had changed since. He was still so very quiet but he was also confident now, relaxed, and entirely sure of himself. Rosita was ashamed to admit that she'd once told Beth to get away from him, seeing him as nothing more than Room 14's dirty brother. He was a good man, though, a great man actually and as they worked alongside each other through the winter melting snow or chopping firewood she found him to be a great listener. A few times dissolving into angry tears he'd taken her into his arms and let her stay there until she'd gotten whatever she needed. Rosita knew why Beth loved this man so much now and she was glad her friend had seen what she obviously could not.
Despite taking so much from Walmart on that first run in November they still needed things until they could make their homestead self sufficient. So runs still needed to happen. Sometimes Beth insisted on going, much to everyone's dismay, but most of the time it was Daryl and Shane or as Beth's pregnancy advanced her and Shane. She'd not met the man before that day in the field. As Beth explained he'd come to the farm with a group of people looking to get a boy some help. Afterwards they stayed and become a sort of group that eventually became separated with her and Daryl on their own and Shane meeting up with them later. Beth smiled as she talked about him saying he was a good man too, kind and protective, they'd formed a sort of family. Rosita surely wasn't looking to get involved with anyone else right now- perhaps ever- and was initially somewhat indifferent toward Shane despite his never ending efforts to put a smile on her face.
He was handsome, of course, and kind just as Beth had said. But still she just couldn't for many reasons. The darkest of them all- who would want someone who'd been used like her ? She didn't dare speak those words and instead pushed it down making their friendship a never ending banter of sarcastic quips and jokes at the other's expense. And it worked for a long time.
The first signs of spring meant they were headed out on a run that took them farther away than they'd gone before. Beth was due in a couple months and Daryl was understandably hesitant to leave her. So Shane and Rosita set out, expecting to be gone at least overnight, looking for anything that could further solidify their homestead for the coming arrival. The house they'd stumbled upon was tucked down a country road and seeing the barn Shane thought they'd at least find some tools. What they ended up finding was so much better.
Chickens
Four of them still very much alive and cared for. The shredding corpse outside the barn told her that someone had just died protecting these birds. It took all their patience and half the day to corral the chickens into cages and load them into the car. And then fate once again turned against them. A storm- high winds that bent the trees and sheets of rain. It was too dangerous to start moving back. Taking refuge in the hayloft Shane volunteered to take first watch as she settled down behind him covering herself with her jacket and praying for at least an hour or so of sleep. When sleep finally came, it did with a familiar nightmare.
The bed was so soft she thought she'd never slept on something so wonderful in all her life. It was just supposed to be a nap, twenty minutes and then she'd stay up knife in hand ready for anything that came her way. But that familiar weight was on top of her and the mattress that just felt so good was now strangling her, holding her down and keeping her there. Each time it felt like a hot poker was inside of her searing and burning a hole right through to her back. She tried to scream but nothing came out. She tried to fight but their hold was too strong. She could do nothing but lay there and take it closing her eyes and only opening them when she heard a hiss and moan. The walker lunged for her throat as she sat up screaming.
Shane jumped when he heard the scream. Turning he saw Rosita sitting bolt upright, eyes wide in terror and soaked with sweat. He moved toward her cautiously like she was wounded animal.
"Hey…was just a dream. You're alright." Her teeth were clenched as she stared at him, terror still all over her face. She couldn't breath as she gasped for air flailing her arms as tears came to her eyes.
Looking at her he shook his head. Fuck it, the worst she could do was push him away. Pulling her unto him, he wrapped her up in his arms and she automatically collapsed into his chest. "Shh…I got you, girl." He soothed her rubbing her back and her hair as she cried silently against him. The rest of the night was spent like that and as the gray light of morning seeped through the old barn's slatted wall their eyes met and suddenly everything was different. Bending his face toward hers he stopped when their noses met letting her take the final step when she was absolutely ready. When their lips finally met Rosita knew. Home was not Texas, it was not in the back of a truck, or on a mission to save the world.
Home was right here.
TBC…
The final chapter ahead with the birth of baby Dixon, our final look at the prison group, and the ending for our little family. Also ALT ending of what could have been
Thanks for reading as always. I messed with the canon time line a bit to get things to flow for my story so…you know FICTION people.
As this epic comes to an end I ask anyone who's been reading and not told me how they feel about it to drop me a line. It's a been a wonderful ride that I'm glad we went on together.