Chapter 4 - Adjusting
Author's Note: WARNING: Past child abuse (and a cliffhanger ;)
~ Rivana Rita
"You're weak," Krell snarls, stalking towards him. "You're a failure!"
He feels frozen. Trapped. "No."
"You have a duty!" his voice rings out though the darkness of Umbara. "You had orders! You're a part of something larger than yourself. Or are you too narrow-minded to see that?"
Krell used to say things like that. All the time. Always. "My duty is to my brothers," Hunter says, "To protect them first."
Krell scoffs, turning away. "And how are you doing at that?"
He's a failure. He is. He knows that. Doesn't want to think of it, though. He – he's made so many mistakes. Everything – everything that's happened was his fault. Hunter was supposed to protect them. He should have kept them together, kept them safe. He always fought to keep them together before, but...
He failed them. In every way he could have.
"You should have stopped them!" Krell snarls, and Hunter gasps as his hand wraps around Hunter's neck, crushing.
He might've hurt them before, but this is a first. First Hunter's dreamed of, anyway.
"You'll fail them, too," Krell hisses, "You're weak. You're soft." It's an echo of what Crosshair had said, and Hunter struggles in his grip, but Krell has always had a Wrecker-level strength.
He's going to die here, and –
No.
This isn't real.
Hunter killed him. He can't be here. This isn't real. This isn't real –
He forces himself awake, heart hammering.
Wrecker and Tech are nearby, their presences flowing softly into the Force. They're here. Omega's presence, too, is shining out brightly, unfamiliar, but still soothing.
No. It's – it's fine. He's fine. He's safe. There's... Krell is gone. Hunter killed him, even if it still hurts. They'd thought Krell actually... wanted them. Was going to take care of them. They trusted him.
That's what Hunter is afraid of, though. Failing them again. He already failed Crosshair, and... he can't go through that again. They can't afford to, no matter what it takes.
**w**
It's not overly surprising Wrecker goes all-out with setting up the gunner's mount as Omega's "room". It isn't really a room, but it's still homey, and admittedly, the ship looks better with it. Brighter. Safer.
(Crosshair's not here to see it, and Hunter misses that and him so badly he wants to cry at every waking moment. If he hears Wrecker crying sometimes, no one mentions it. Hunter doesn't mention it, at least.)
Omega brightens the moment she sees it, even if Wrecker is all awkward about the whole thing. "It's perfect," she breathes, looking around, gratitude flowing freely into the Force. Her heartbeat flutters, flickering. Hunter knows that feel from even before he became a Jedi – she's happy to be here with them. She loves them. She wants that. "Thank you, Wrecker."
He laughs a little awkwardly, turning away and rubbing the back of his neck. "Oh, it was nothin'."
Idly, Hunter can't help wondering when the last time someone thanked them for something was. Everything they've ever done has been... expected. No one really... took the time for that. Never had a reason to.
Omega picks up Lula, settling down on the floor and hugging her close. The Marauder looks right with the golden glow of the lights on the ceiling. It looks more... at home. Just different.
Wrecker said he thought it could look more like a home, and Hunter agrees. This is the only home they have now.
"I never had my own room before," Omega says.
"Well, you're part of the squad now, too," Hunter replies. They all used to have their own... everything, even if they always shared. Rooms are important, though. Things are important. They never got to have their own... anything before, and he knows how important it is. It's...
He's glad Omega can have that. She's one of them in every way, and Hunter is... starting her training now. It's hard to teach her to open up to the Force, though he's trying. She might not have the robes they do – he wishes they had some to give her – and she... can't risk having a padawan braid, though Hunter is certain enough she'd be happy to if he asked her.
They don't even have a lightsaber for her, though Hunter offered to let her train a little with his own. She has an energy bow they picked up on a mission, and it works well enough, though seeing it reminds him so painfully of their own training on Kamino, of Crosshair, it... hurts. At least she has something to defend herself with, though.
Omega gives them a center, something, someone to focus on and take care of. She's the only light they have in this time. It will be hard, and they will struggle, but they're... together.
Well. Mostly.
(Crosshair's not here, and it feels so wrong. Everything is so quiet, so empty, which is ridiculous because Crosshair was never that noisy.)
They're still working for Cid, and it's... not that helpful, but it gives them enough to get by, even if Hunter still wishes they could be putting their skills to other uses. Can't afford to be picky anymore, though. Surviving is more important.
**w**
Their difficulties, predictably, are just beginning. Hunter knew that from the start when they agreed to take Omega, but he didn't quite expect the first to show up in the form of a bounty hunter. Cad Bane, no less. Hunter hasn't fought him personally, but he's heard enough about him. Luckily for them, Bane was way outmatched, and Hunter has no regret for it when Tech shot him through the head for trying to take Omega from them.
Wrecker already finished crushing his droid.
Tech hacked into his communications when all was said and done, deciphering that Lama Su was the one who put the bounty on Omega. The Kaminoans want her back, and it's anyone's guess why. She's Force-sensitive, and if the Kaminoans want to keep cloning, no doubt they'd want to use her as the template.
That's not nearly as bad a threat as the Empire, and it doesn't worry Hunter too significantly.
Omega, though...
She tiptoes up to the front when Hunter's sitting in the co-pilot seat the night after, climbing into the pilot seat. She feels scared.
"Can't sleep?" Hunter asks her softly. He's painfully familiar with that. All of his brothers are. Sometimes, it drives him crazy. It feels like they're defective or broken somehow by being plagued with nightmares of Krell and the war.
He remembers how worried he was when he heard of Krell's casualty numbers. Remembers feeling sick at the brutality. Remembers having to deal with it in silence, because they couldn't speak out against a Jedi, against their master, and all that mattered was keeping his brothers safe.
He remembers watching, feeling increasingly sick as he saw Crosshair's playfulness dwindle, as Wrecker's chaos dulled, as Tech... just got quieter. More closed off. Sharper.
Maybe it is their destiny. Maybe that is all they will ever be able to do. Maybe that's their legacy – maybe he shouldn't have agreed to train Omega, but how could he have refused her?
"I keep thinking about the Kaminoans. I don't want to go back there."
"You're safe here, Omega," Hunter promises her, silently asking the Force that actually be true. He can't fail her, too. She's so... young. At least Crosshair can protect himself. Somewhat. Even if they're supposed to be there with him.
"If I'm as valuable as you say, Lama Su will keep sending bounty hunters after me," Omega murmurs, hugging her knees to her chest.
Hunter turns towards her, though Omega still isn't looking at him. She's afraid. He can feel it – fear flickering into the Force, cloaking the room and curling up the walls like shadows.
"He can send everyone in the galaxy," Hunter tells her fiercely. They might not be able to stop everything, but they're Jedi, and they try. They – they're good at what they do. They're definitely the best of the clones, and they – he'll put Omega before everything else. They all will. All do. They're not going to let anyone hurt her. "You have us."
Omega turns away. "You can't fight them all."
"I know you can do this," Anakin had told them before he left. "I know what it must feel like to all of you. You are more than he is. You can still... be more."
"I'm not sure we can train Omega," Hunter admits, "She's more than we are. She doesn't deserve to be caught in the – in our lineage."
"She's your sister," Anakin answers, like it's that simple. It isn't. Hunter loves him for that though, because to Anakin, everything is simple. Either he doesn't see complexity in things, or he doesn't overthink them half as much as Hunter does. "There is no other path for any of you."
"I know we agreed to it," Hunter says, "But I don't know if we're ready for what it comes with."
"You'll be fine," he promises, "I know this is where you were meant to be."
But Crosshair already Fell, he wants to say, but he won't. That's not something Hunter can bring himself to talk about yet. "After what happened to the Order, I don't know if we can..."
"You are more than Krell was," Anakin reassures, "And you have more to offer her than he did you. I know you can do this."
He doesn't know what they'd do without Anakin constantly there at their sides, always there. If they didn't have Anakin to believe in them, he has no idea how they'd have made it this far.
And right now, Omega's afraid, and – and he has to help make that better. He's comforted his brothers more times than he can count. He knows how to. It's just... It doesn't really feel like he can help.
Hunter slides off his seat, crouching in front of Omega's and turning her towards him. "Omega, you don't have to worry," he promises, "You are never going back to Kamino. We won't let anyone take you from us."
"Promise?" she asks, eyes lightening with a tentative hope.
"I promise," he tells her without a heartbeat of hesitation. He can only desperately hope that be true.
The smile she offers is tentative, but sincere.
"Part of why I wanted to become a Jedi was so I could stop anything from taking you again," she admits, "I don't wanna lose you again."
Is that how Crosshair feels when he's out there, alone? It's not fair to him, either. Hunter isn't going to think about that right now. Not yet. Omega needs him first. "You won't," he tells her, reaching for her hand. Omega grabs it, squeezing tightly. "You're stuck with us for the long run. Got it?"
Omega slides off her seat, wrapping her arms around his neck and clinging. Hunter's never hugged her before, but he's still used to being close with his brothers. They touch each other frequently, even if they haven't slept beside each other much since Order 66. Everyone has been... more closed off and distant from each other since then.
He's scared to be close to people now if he's being honest. He wants to protect Omega, but he feels so lost whenever he thinks about it. He's afraid of... what could happen to her. Of someone else being lost, of having to deal with losing someone else would destroy him. He can't let that happen, no matter what it takes to stop it.
Omega is radiating a sort of gentle wistfulness and longing into the Force now.
"I'm afraid of being alone," she admits, face pressed against his neck, "I only ever wanted to stay with you. I wish we grew up together. I used to think we would. This is the only place that feels like home." He can't imagine that – how she managed to survive entirely on her own. Doesn't know how everyone does it. Losing Crosshair is like losing a limb. How could anyone survive without others right beside them? How did she make it this far?
"This is the only place that's ever been home."
With Omega wrapped in his arms, that's all he wants. It's where he wants her to be, where he knows her, and he knows there's nowhere else Omega would want to be.
**w**
Crosshair's absence is still a perpetual hole in their hearts, one they never speak of. It's something he's still... worried about. They have no idea if Crosshair is still out there, if he's still looking, but Hunter isn't going to tempt fate.
When Cid asks them to go to Raxus and rescue a Separatist senator – despite Hunter's serious reservations about it – they go. Hunter's wary about it, but they don't have much choice about picking and choosing missions. They don't really have the ability to afford it, and Hunter reluctantly remembers Anakin once telling him that 'being Separatists doesn't guarantee they're evil' to keep in mind on missions. It's hard to remember, but if this Senator is an enemy of the Empire, he's probably not... too bad, at least.
Cid offered to watch Omega, but well, telling her that is entirely a different story.
"Ready when you are, Master," she chirps.
Hunter tries not to react at that word – he doesn't know where she heard it from, and yeah, that's what he is, but he hates that term and everything it comes with. "Not this time, Omega," Hunter tells her, gentle but firm. He's heard Anakin use that voice on Ahsoka before. It usually works. "You're staying with Cid."
"But th-the mission," Omega argues. She looks hurt and a little confused. "I'm your padawan, too."
"Then following orders shouldn't be a problem," he says, because somehow, he really, really does not think attempting to explain to Omega that he's worried about the bounty hunters after her might not be the best idea. "Stay close to Cid, and don't leave this parlor. Got it?"
She groans, mumbling a dejected "yes, master" and stomping off towards the back.
Wrecker pats her shoulder as he passes, and Hunter watches her worriedly for a moment before turning to leave.
He doesn't want to leave her, but the last thing they need is to have a bounty hunter chasing them while they're on a mission. They don't need that as a concern on top of trying to avoid the Empire. It's just... way too dangerous.
He thinks about Crosshair every minute of every day, and going to Raxus is...
He's worried about Omega. Of something happening.
He keeps expecting to see Crosshair. Wrecker was worried about him. Hunter is worried about him, and he's terrified they're going to encounter him again at the most unexpected moment.
He's not ready to see Crosshair again. He doesn't want to have to fight and leave him a third time. It's not something Hunter can imagine doing.
They miss him. They need him. Hunter never realized exactly how much until Raxus, when they have more close calls than he cares to admit. He was really hoping to keep it quiet, out of sight, but they end up having to pull their lightsabers to cover themselves.
Getting the Empire on their tail even more is the last thing they need, but they don't have much choice.
It doesn't help when they come back to realize Omega is... doing precisely the opposite of what he told her to.
"I told you to keep a low profile," Hunter says to her after the people gathered in the parlor have left. "This is the opposite."
Omega's face falls, and he hates seeing her upset. It feels like – maybe he's been too harsh on her, maybe he's being... just wrong, Hunter has no idea. He tries to be better than Krell was. Really, he does, and he would like to think he is, but sometimes...
Maybe he was too harsh on Crosshair, too.
He tried to be careful. He tried to help. Doesn't mean it worked.
Hunter sighs, stepping up to them and touching Omega's shoulder. "I know you were trying to help," he says softly, "But right now, you need to let us take care of you. If the bounty hunters track you here, we won't have anywhere to stay."
They need to settle down, but Hunter doesn't know any life other than fighting. He's afraid to learn, too. They're clones. They're not like the Jedi, where they get to make choices. They had to take the life everyone else made for them.
The Republic, the civilians, the other Jedi always came first.
They took what's left.
"I wanted to be useful, even if I couldn't go on the mission," Omega says sullenly.
He wants to tell her it's okay. He wants to tell her everything's okay, that they have nothing to worry about, that they'll be fine, but he knows better. He's not going to lie to Omega. She needs to understand the situation they're living in, even if he doesn't know how to talk to her about it. They're supposed to protect her – she shouldn't have to worry about these things.
"I know," he concedes, albeit a little reluctantly. He understands she meant well, even if it wasn't ideal. Probably, leaving her here in the future will not be a good idea. It was more dangerous to leave here her alone than take her. Probably.
Being their leader, their – master, or whatever it's called – means he has to be the one to make the hard choices, and it's so hard sometimes. It's not easy to live with knowing Crosshair is out there somewhere, alone.
Cid heads to the back with the Senator they rescued, and Wrecker and Tech follow after Wrecker sets Omega down, giving Hunter a pointed look. He thinks Hunter can help, can fix this, but he doesn't know how to fix anything.
Maybe he never has. That's always been Anakin's role.
"How about we put those strategy skills to the test?" he suggests finally. "One match. If you win, then no more sitting out on missions." He settles down at the table, turning the board back on.
Omega runs to sit across from him, the bright cheerfulness to her presence restored.
"Are you ready for this?" he asks.
She grins back. "Are you?"
**w**
Omega does win. Barely, but she wins. Hunter is (though a little reluctantly) willing to keep his promise, so they keep living. They don't actually see the Empire again until Ryloth, when the Twi'lek girl they met there asks them for help.
"You gave her our comm channel?" he asks Omega. He shouldn't have expected anything less, but he didn't... They're trying to stay hidden. That's not something Hunter has any idea how to explain to her more than he already has.
"For emergencies, and that sounded pretty urgent. We have to go," she insists.
"Perhaps the situation is not as dire as described. Children often overreact," Tech objects.
"No, we don't!" Omega snaps back at him, annoyed, rounding on Hunter again, "You heard her. She needs us."
Hunter sighs. This is exactly why he didn't want to get involved with anyone, but... they don't have anything else to do right now, and Omega's right that Hera needs help. They may not be a fraction as equipped at fighting the Empire as Hunter wishes they were to be comfortable with this, but they are Jedi, and they can definitely cause an awful lot of damage if they tried. Did on Raxus, anyway, though he's still worried.
"I don't like this," he replies, "But you're right. We'll go back to Ryloth and check it out, but there's no guarantee this is something we can help."
He's definitely... cautious about this, but the Twi'leks did help the Jedi a lot in the war, and if there's a chance that they can do something, then...
(He doesn't want to think about how they're going to help this random family, and there's nothing he can do for his own.)
Well, he also has a bit of... wariness in that regard. Ryloth was a very... dark battle. Hunter heard about it from Anakin. Ahsoka'd had nightmares for months from it. Many people died there. An entire clone battalion was wiped out in a near-failed effort to save the Syndullas and their followers, so...
He knows the clones were made to die, but that doesn't mean it sits well on him.
Hunter's wary about this on multiple levels.
**w**
With the kind of plans they're doing now, it almost feels like they might as well rejoin Anakin and Rex, but he's not going to offer. He doesn't want to put what's left of his family in more danger than he has to.
Hunter takes out the probe droid he senses when they're overlooking the Capitol, but they're not tracked.
Fortifications are high, and Hunter's definitely... worried, but they've always been a little too stubborn to fall back.
Tech's report that their presence is all over Imperial comm channels definitely worries Hunter, along with how they've increased patrols, but...
"With the element of surprise gone, there's a very low chance we'll be able to pull this off," Hunter tells Hera bluntly. Sometimes, he prefers it when he isn't talking to his siblings. He majorly prefers just being blunt and not having to worry about the emotional repercussions. He's so tired of trying to... hold everyone together.
(He's so, so tired of everything. Of trying to pretend nothing's wrong.)
"We have to try," Omega insists.
"Then we need a plan."
Drawing up a plan is far harder than he cares to admit, but eventually, with Chopper and Hera's help, they're able to pinpoint an Imperial refinery on the outskirts.
"You two go with Chopper as backup, but at a distance," Hunter decides.
"By themselves?" Tech asks warily over the girls' cheers of excitement.
"They're capable," Hunter tells him, "And if things go as planned, there shouldn't be much resistance there. Tech, Wrecker. Wait until those cannons are down and move in. I'll scale the Capitol wall and free Hera's parents."
"Alone?" Tech inquires unhappily.
He's worried about Hunter, too. That's – it's not really surprising, but he shouldn't have to be. That's not his role.
"Don't have much choice," Hunter replies, "You'll have to fly, and we need Wrecker on the guns." Besides, he'd rather go alone himself, if anyone has to. Not that he'll tell the others that.
**w**
The plan... goes according to plan, aside from the little part where Hera and Omega had to go in to deal with the cannons and stole a shuttle. Hunter's admittedly surprised by that.
He got inside without being detected, and he got out with the Twi'leks on the stolen shuttles left in the hangar, as planned.
He can almost hear Crosshair's snarky "don't be too confident" in his mind, but nothing changes.
They make it off Ryloth entirely unspotted, and the Empire probably won't know the difference until they get back and realize what happened.
Omega's a little disappointed about Hera leaving, and they go their ways, but something still unsettles him. Everyone feels it.
Something is wrong. There's a disturbance in the Force, and it's... worrying.
"Anyone else think somethin's wrong?" Wrecker whines finally as they head back for Ord Mantell.
"Yeah, I feel a little... cold," Omega pipes up. "I don't know what it is."
"The Dark Side," Hunter answers instinctively, "Something's wrong. I don't know what, but... we have to be careful."
Tech throws him a worried glance, but neither of them speaks. Hunter can just hope them going to Ryloth isn't what's going to be a final trigger for the Empire to come after them. That's – it's not something they need to be dealing with, too. That will, inevitably, lead them back to Crosshair, and he isn't ready for that. Never will be.
"I think," Hunter continues slowly, "The Empire might be after us."
"Is there some reason for this?" Tech inquires.
"A feeling." Mostly, that he can't stop thinking of Crosshair.
Wrecker's "I think he's bein' hurt" is still ringing in his mind, and Hunter's been thinking about it ever since.
**w**
The image is blurry when it comes into view, but it's still distinctive. Important. Crosshair's dressed in the same clothes he was wearing when Hunter last saw him, though... he looks different. Feels different. Darker. More hopeless and empty. His... hair is gone though, and Hunter misses it an almost ridiculously inexplicable amount.
It was gray. It was... it marked him as one of them. (It's silly to say it, but Hunter always liked it. It was... different, and it was him, and without it, it looks like he's trying to be someone he's not. It feels like he's renouncing who and what he was always meant to be.)
Crosshair is kneeling in front of someone, a grayed over figure that he can't see, but the image is jarringly wrong enough to make him sick. Hunter can't see his face from the angle his head is bowed at, but he can still feel the weight of his glare.
He's furious.
He's hurt.
"I think he's bein' hurt," Wrecker had said, and now, Hunter can see it far clearer than he ever wanted to.
He was right.
"If you want to prove yourself," the figure says, "Find your master. Bring him to us. Bring all of them to us."
"Yes, sir," Crosshair says, voice quiet, but voice vibrating with enough rage it sends a shiver down his spine.
"And destroy them."
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