Spring | Home | Promise

"Boruto..."

Boruto's fuzzy vision hazed into focus. He blinked once, twice, and looked up to a smile playing on her lips against the backdrop of dark branches and pale pink flower clusters. Her hand gently toyed with his hair, a soft sparkle set in her eyes.

Cherry blossom petals floated down around them like snow, blanketing the area in pale pink. A breeze rustled the trees, filling his lungs with fresh spring air.

His body felt like a cloud; no sword, no cape, no weight on his chest. Other than the weight of one of her hands, lovingly running her fingers over the black marking that characterized his attempted death over and over in a soothing motion as if she was appreciating the fact that he was still alive.

A gust of wind blew a wayward petal into her hair, stopping just near her temple, decorating her like an accessory. Boruto reached up, uncurling his lax fingers and brushed it to the side. Her smile softened as she closed her eyes and leaned into his hand.

Her skin felt like the cotton of the white T-shirt he used to wear. Touching it left a slight tingling sensation on his fingertips, even when his hand pulled fully away.

Boruto closed his eyes again and his brows furrowed. He didn't know how this was possible, he just knew that he missed her terribly. Seeing her here like this, playing with his hair, his head in her lap, all of it felt like heaven. "Sarada," he whispered, a tear leaking out of the edge of his eye.

"Mm?"

Her voice was soft, the way it sometimes was when they were alone together, when she wasn't mad at him. The way it got when she comforted him, the times when she was the only one that could comfort him, because she was the only one that understood all of the things he was going through.

He couldn't go back to her. He couldn't face her... And yet here she was.

His heart wrenched in his chest, and before he knew it... He was kissing her.

It was over as soon as it started, his heart pounding, blinking slowly. He should've remembered some sensation on his lips, but there was nothing. Just air and all of the overwhelming feelings that came with what he'd done. "I..."

"What is it?" she said gently.

Boruto bowed his head, more tears dripping off of his face and onto her lap. This was wrong. He knew it was somehow wrong, but... His face contorted as tightness crawled up his throat. "I miss you. So much."

All she did was smile in response, an angelic smile that never faded. One that didn't seem real.

His chest grew heavier and heavier, his head beginning to spin. He couldn't lose sight of her. But she was fading. Growing distant. Still smiling amongst the cherry blossoms, sitting on his mother's picnic blanket, waiting for him. But he couldn't get there.

"Sarada!"

"Boruto," she said gently. "What's wrong?"

"Sarada," he cried again, reaching his hand out. All he wanted was to hold her. He wanted someone to hold him. He was scared. Where was he? Where was he going?

With a gasp, Boruto's muscles contracted and heaved his upper body off the ground. The blanket fell from his chest, breaths heaving, eye wide. He gritted his teeth and covered his face with one hand.

"Nightmare?"

Sliding his hand down his face, he closed his open mouth and forced his strained breaths through his nose, staring at the crackling glow of the fire and Kashin Koji idly sitting on the other side.

"No..."

That was more like a rude awakening from the best dream he'd had in a long time. He covered his mouth with the back of his hand. Of all things... He ended up...

Boruto rolled his eyes and groaned as he curled himself back into the blankets. The backdrop of stars still blanketed the sky, the fire just barely providing enough warmth for him not to shiver.

"Hey, Boruto."

"...What."

"Are you really that scared of losing her?"

Boruto hid his face under the covers. Scared was an understatement. It didn't even begin to describe the terror he felt whenever he woke up from dreams that something happened to her.

"Take care of Sarada."

He would have done it regardless. But ever since Sasuke said those words to him, he started thinking about why.

Under the blankets, he reached up and clutched at his button up shirt, digging his fingers into his chest to try and rid himself of some of the ache. But it didn't go away.

It'd taken him nearly three years, but he finally understood what the nagging in his chest meant... Or rather, what Sarada meant to him.

The first time he noticed something was off was during their school trip. After fighting Buntan, she was too weak to stand. Hachiya carried her back to the hotel. He didn't get what he felt in that moment, but it felt awful, like a parasite was eating away at his innards. Despite being exhausted, he should've been the one to carry her. He was the one to carry Sarada or get her mom if she got hurt, because he was closest to her. Him or Cho-Cho, or one of their mutual friends. Not some random delinquent who they barely knew. But carrying her in his current state wasn't logical. So he didn't say anything... And just watched with a rock in his chest as she hung limply from Hachiya's back.

The next time was during the Chunin exams. He reached for her, black iron feathers rushing towards her, time passing by in slow motion. Even though he knew it was impossible, even though reaching her didn't guarantee he could protect her, he was desperate. Her gut-wrenching scream pierced his ears. Something inside of him snapped; his vision turned red. And then all at once, the flow of time rushed back at full speed. His eyes stayed glued to her body as it flew through the air. Smashed into a wall. Uchiha Sarada is no longer able to battle! A crushing sensation coursed through his chest, teeth gritted so hard he thought they'd break.

Part of the chunin exams was fighting and potentially getting hurt. He knew that. But in that moment, an intense desire for revenge boiled over, making him forget about the audience, the spectators... There was no winning or losing anymore. He just wanted to slam Shinki into the same wall so hard that he passed out too. To show up his dad. To prove to himself he was good enough to save the people he cared about. To show that he wasn't weak, and neither was Konoha.

When he finally slammed Shinki into the wall, it didn't come with the satisfaction he thought it did. It was like he could suddenly see the light again, like he trapped himself in a bubble and the bubble suddenly popped to reveal the world he'd forgotten. He remembered his eyes went straight to her, breathing out a sigh of relief when he realized she was okay... And only then did he relish in the shoddy victory of his cheated win.

The next time he felt something for her was shortly after that, during Momoshiki's initial attack on Konoha. The clone he made, the way she clung to his arm and hid behind him... At first, he thought if nothing else, he had to protect her, ninja or not. He was the one that gave Momoshiki power by letting him absorb the jutsu from the tool on his wrist. It was his fault. And when he was humbled by the overwhelming power his dad had, the sacrifice he made... He wondered if what he did even mattered.

After Sasuke made him feel like not so much of a loser and he returned from battle, his mother asked if she should fix his tattered clothes. But he tattered them in the first place while protecting Sarada. In that moment, he understood. It wasn't that he couldn't do anything; it was the first time he really stood up to anyone or anything. And he was proud of that. There was a certain rush of adrenaline, a freeing feeling that came with guarding her the same way their fathers guarded them. The way she clung to his arm showed him she accepted his protection and appreciated it. A reminder that he wasn't completely useless after all.

That ripped jacket signified the first step to becoming the person he wished his father was.

That was why he promised to protect her. Not because of the feelings he came to understand after all these years, but because of a desire to be someone she could look up to instead of looking down on. To stop being a lame little kid... He didn't want the spotlight. He didn't want to be the face of the village. He didn't want to bear the responsibility for all of Konoha. All he wanted was to become a great ninja that still took time out for family. Her equal. Someone like Sasuke was to Naruto.

But that little blooming sensation of pride from standing up to bad guys only got worse with the passage of time. He ended up taking out enemies she was supposed to handle, going overboard and beating them all up instead of leaving one for interrogation, physically putting himself in between her and danger. Going to handle difficult things on his own in the shadows...

It didn't work out. Trying to fight Shojoji on his own proved to him that he wasn't ready... He needed more training. A team.

When they fought Boro, he finally understood. He saw Sarada's value as a teammate, a friend, as someone who understood him, as someone who had always been by his side and would always continue to be... When Kawaki pulled her aside, Boruto felt a sense of pride yet again. He could understand her plans without a conversation. All he had to do was think. If it's Sarada, then she would do this. And because she thought of him too, their coordination was pure perfection. When they grew up, they could protect the village together. Teamwork would be essential to their future as ninja, after all.

And then their team was destroyed.

Mitsuki. Kawaki. Both of them smashed into the ground, swatted away like flies. Boruto stood frozen, his limbs aching, his body screaming in protest to movement. But as Boro's burly hand grabbed Sarada and hoisted her into the air... The moment he heard her cry out in pain... It was like his stubborn and heavy limbs were resuscitated by a defibrillator. His fear of the giant they had no chance at beating turned into an adrenaline-fueled fight response. He had to save her.

Before he knew what he was doing, the top of Boruto's foot slammed into the giant's arm. He turned around to make sure she was okay, taking his eyes off of the monster like a fool. And then he was knocked straight to the ground. Pain sky-rocketed through his insides. But he didn't care. All he wanted to know as he was pounded into the earth again and again was whether or not she'd be okay. Whether she'd live. He didn't understand why at the time, but much later he came to understand...

It was in that moment his feelings changed from wanting to protect her out of a desire to be a cool ninja to wanting to protect her because she was Sarada.

And just as he started putting a name on that emotion... He also came to the realization that he wasn't human anymore.

He was a monster.

Boruto didn't know what to do. At first, he tried to distance himself. He tried to make sure Kawaki or Sasuke was always standing nearby, just in case. He left Sarada to Mitsuki, trying to grapple with whether or not he should be allowed to continue living.

After they got back from fighting Jigen, he cooled down a bit... But only because he had people that promised to kill him if something were to happen. He couldn't stand the thought of injuring anyone but avoiding them wasn't going to do anyone any good either. They had a powerful enemy that needed to be taken out... And Boruto could use his power to help.

He decided to train with everyone again. To try and get stronger. But his anger and protective instinct was flared right back up when Kawaki decided to turn their training session into a battle royal.

Sarada was their captain, and she wanted to train the normal way. Boruto wanted to respect that. He thought they could talk it out until Kawaki started fighting her for real.

A burning built up inside him as he watched, unsure whether to stop his stupid sibling or let Sarada handle it.

But his idiot adopted sibling tricked them all by letting shuriken hit his shadow clone. He was milliseconds away from slashing Sarada with his scythe arm. Slashing her to seriously injure her. There was a dying need within him to block that attack. His feet launched off the ground before his mind could catch up to the order. Kunai out. Feet planted. He was in between them, protecting her. This time it was very purposeful. Very intentional. He knew he couldn't stand to see her get hurt.

Older brother or not, he was pissed.

Boruto requested a one on one, not because he didn't think Sarada could win if she got serious. It didn't matter to Boruto how much Kawaki tried to fight with him. They were siblings. They had beef. They both had karma, and they were equals. But watching him attack Sarada lit a fire in his stomach. It made him seethe with a burning anger he had to kick dirt and coals over before he even started, or he would be doing exactly what Kawaki did to her: fighting with bloodlust.

He had to use his Karma in order to win, but that was also when he realized; his karma was a part of him. The moment Momoshiki took over him again, he intended to die. He couldn't hurt her like he'd hurt Sasuke. He didn't think he could live with himself if he did. But that's why he kept Kawaki and Sasuke around to kill him.

And eventually... It happened.

Momoshiki resurfaced. He tried to make the ultimate sacrifice with his death, knocking his dad out of the way with wind style. His insides burned with pain as Kawaki plunged his spiked arm straight into Boruto's heart. But that didn't work. The stupid monster, in his determination not to die, decided to revive Boruto as well.

When he returned home and saw Sarada, he knew he couldn't tell her the truth behind what happened. He didn't want her to cry like his parents did. His parents' reactions bogged him down with guilt. But Sarada's nagging made him feel... Like himself. Like everything was still okay. Because to Sarada, monster or not, he was still the same stupid Boruto he'd always been. And for his sanity, he wanted to keep it that way.

He started doing better after that. Acting more calm, casual, more... Boruto-like. He trusted Kawaki, despite what everyone else said, because Kawaki came through when it mattered most and lived up to his word to kill him when he needed to be killed.

He thought everything would work out somehow until the moment Kawaki decided to seal away his parents.

He went to fight him, to knock some sense into him before Konoha citizens went insane and tried to kill him. But Kawaki was stronger. He socked him good. Boruto flew backwards, the air completely sucked out of his lungs. He was about to surrender to death a second time, knowing that's what his adopted brother wanted, and that was probably best option to fix the situation regardless of whether he'd be possessed again or not. But when the warmth of a fireball seeped into his skin, the thought of death fled from his mind. That same burning sensation swelled inside of him. Cold sweat clung to the back of his neck; an electric pulse froze him in place as he watched her stand in front of him.

She was poised with a kunai, declaring that she was going to be hokage, and that she wasn't going to run away.

No, he thought as Kawaki took a step forward. Don't...!

He didn't know how he'd gotten up, but he had, and she was in his arms, and his eye was stinging. The same electricity that propelled him forward was still tingling in his body as he hovered over her, glaring at Kawaki with bloodlust. Kawaki still hadn't learned his lesson from their last fight about talking it out...

Boruto knew. Kawaki could live. He had a karma, he was an Otsutsuki, but he wasn't possessed. So Boruto made it his goal. Before he died, he had to make sure Kawaki understood that what he was doing was wrong. That was all he wanted. To sock him good and set him straight. And after that, he'd die for the sake of the village. To protect everyone. To make sure he never hurt anyone... Especially not her.

Even when his world turned upside down, his goals remained the same. He was going to die anyway... What did it matter if the world hated him? He still had Sarada. He even had Sasuke. He could train, return to the village, and knock some sense into his stupid brother... And maybe get rid of the monster inside of him while he was at it.

If only it was that simple.

Code, the shinju, the divine trees... He had to be strong enough to get rid of all of them. It wasn't just Sarada he had to protect... It was the future.

And part of that came with protecting Sarada.

Momoshiki's words ran out in his head. The ending of one prophecy comes with another. When you lose the one that matters most, you will despair enough to hand over your soul to me.

He tucked himself further down into the blankets. Unlike the prophecy before, he knew exactly who this one was about. The one that mattered most to him at the moment... Was her. It couldn't be anyone but her. No one else remembered who he was. No one else wanted to help him.

Whenever he thought about returning to Konoha, he knew the first person he wanted to see was her. He wanted to tell her thank you in person. He had to apologize for what happened to her father, to explain why he had been gone for so long.

He was strong enough now. But he was a coward. Going home to the village would be the start of everything...

Boruto rolled over and tried to get some sleep, but sleep didn't come. And so, he lay there, his mind drifting back off to his dream, the things he could never have. He made up his mind never to tell her how he felt, because it would only make things awkward between them. Sarada thought he was an idiot. She didn't love him. Not the way he loved her.

Even then... He promised himself... He wouldn't let anything happen to her. He wouldn't die until he eliminated all of the threats... And then, in order to keep her safe, he'd put himself to rest.

. . .

Hello :D Happy Borusara week ^^ I hope you guys are enjoying all the stories and art on whatever social media platform you follow!

I'm sorry that I haven't really been putting my all into writing lately. It's been really confusing using two languages at an academic level T^T Talking is totally fine but using both to write essays and reading in both and studying Japanese for 9+ hours a week in class format? It's kicking my butt lol.

Just a short theory discussion: I'm thinking that Sarada will have to protect Boruto from Kawaki again. From all of the talk of "yet," I feel like Boruto is planning his death. But he has to fulfill his promise to Sasuke first. To take care of her. And eventually, she's going to save him from dying. That was kind of the thought behind this one shot, to give you some hope despite the dreary ending.

Also, when they hugged, I feel like his hardened expressions softened for a reason. He quite literally couldn't help it. The moment he takes his eyes off of her, it goes right back to being cold.

Sorry for all of the introspection, but I think introspection is my favorite part of story writing ^^;;;; I came back to this so many times to edit it and combed through the anime/manga for details.

Anyways. Enjoy the rest of the week! Thanks for reading!