A/N: Here is the conclusion for our two detectives. Bobby did NOT want to be there with her family, but if she was giving him a shot, he'd take it. How will he handle his nerves? Will Alex forgive him? Can they get back what was lost? Go ahead, dear readers, press on and find out!
Please let me know if I'm missing anything.
Disclaimer: All belong to Dick Wolf.
He found himself on Eames' doorstep at 7pm, complete with nervous energy and eclairs and flowers. Did her family know he was coming? How much did they know about what had gone on between him and Alex? He had met Liz a handful of times and knew she was just like her sister- bold, strong, sarcastic. How would she react to him if Alex had spilled her guts to her?
He rang the bell, and in one second, a small child answered the door. "I saw you coming!", Nathan exclaimed. "Why did you stand there and not ring the bell?" Ah, the perceptions of children and their inability to refrain from expressing them. "Umm…well…I was waiting to see if you were still here. I'm glad to see you again Nate." Nate looked at him with a mischievous grin. "What did you bring us?", he asked.
"Nate!", said a voice from the living room. "That's not polite." It was Liz who had yelled to her son. "Let Bobby in, Nate, for pete's sake", she said. He heard her drawing closer as she made her request to Nate.
"Hello Detective", she said. "It's nice to see you again." "Um…thanks…thanks, you too."
"Aunt Lex is in the bathroom!", Nate exclaimed. "Nate! Again, not polite. We don't talk about people going to the bathroom." "Yes momma."
"Come on in Detective. Ooo eclairs, nice. And lovely flowers too. What did you do that makes Lex need flowers?" "Um…a lot, actually." "Yeah", Liz said. "I know." Shit. So she had told Liz about the last few months.
"She's pretty pissed at you", Liz said, pulling no punches. Just like her sister.
"I know. That's…that's why I'm here."
Liz eyed him skeptically. Lex had told her as much as she could about her issues with Bobby that didn't have to do with a case. And, Liz noted, Lex tried to give her only small details about what Bobby was going through on a personal level. Liz knew she wasn't getting the full story, but from what she did know, Bobby had royally screwed up. And she was the one who told Lex that when the time came, she should give him another chance. She saw Lex's feelings for Bobby, and, in the few times she met him, she could see Bobby's feelings for her. She wanted more than anything for Lex to find someone who would make her happy. And she couldn't help but want the same thing for Detective Goren too. And if it meant that they had to navigate some murky waters, so be it. Lex was initially reluctant to accept that she would need to be open to her partner, but she said she would think about it. When she said Bobby was coming over tonight, Liz was relieved that her sister took her advice. And it would be nice to see the detective again.
Bobby didn't know what to do. He was standing in Alex's doorway, justifying his visit to Liz, when Alex emerged from her bedroom. She was dressed down now, in leggings and a t-shirt that hugged her in all the right places. She'd pulled her hair back into a ponytail. She looked so pretty. Relaxed. He hadn't seen her without her guard up for months, and her open expression looked good on her. He missed it.
"Hey Bobby", she said softly. He had brought her flowers. Nice ones too. Flowers shouldn't have affected her emotions but they did. It was a sweet gesture. She'd been in her bedroom for a half hour trying to decide what to wear for his arrival. Then she decided she didn't care and threw on comfy clothes. "Take it or leave it Bobby". That's what she had told him. And it applied to more than just tonight.
"Uh…Eames…Alex…hi. These are for you." He thrust the eclairs and the flowers at her in a rush, feeling like a highschooler on prom night trying to win over his date. He needed to pull himself together or this was not going to go well.
"Thank you", she said. "I love eclairs and the flowers are beautiful." "I know you do…and I remembered these were your favorite." She didn't know when she ever mentioned what her favorite flower was, but she must have said it in passing and he stored it in his brain-file called 'Eames'.
She stole a look at Liz who was watching the exchange with a great deal of interest. Damn. She had to get Liz out of there so she didn't feel like she and Bobby were under glass.
"Liz, come help me find a vase. Bobby do you want a beer or something?" He shook his head. "Come see my new firetruck that Aunt Lex bought me!", Nathan exclaimed. He grabbed Bobby's hand and dragged him to the living room where Dave was watching the game. Liz and Alex went into the kitchen.
"You have to get out of here", Alex hissed at her sister. "Why?", Liz asked with mock innocence. "What do you think is going to happen?"
"Nothing, Liz, nothing, but I can't have you here for this…whatever this is that Bobby's trying to do." "He's trying to make things right, Lex. He came out here in what had to be a nerve-wracking situation, brought you your favorite dessert and flowers, he's playing with Nate. He cares about you, Lex. Even if he has made some mistakes, he wouldn't even try if he didn't care." Alex sighed. Liz might not be a cop herself, but she certainly could have been. Their father had trained them to look at body language, eye contact, changes in behavior. Their mother had taught them to judge people by their merits, not their mistakes. Her parents' lessons played through her mind now, as she thought about Liz's words and Bobby's actions tonight.
"Ok", she relented. "But you still need to leave", she said. Liz rolled her eyes. "Fine. But I want details." "As much as I can." "Yeah yeah", Liz said. "NATE, DAVE WE'RE LEAVING!", she exclaimed. "BUT MOM!", a voice cried. Liz walked into the living room to see Bobby and Nate on the floor, surrounded by matchbox cars and a firetruck. "Let's go guys," she said. "But mom, Bobby and I are doing a race! See you take these cars and then you line them up and then…do we get dessert?" "Not right now. C'mon. Pick up your toys." Nate sighed as only a child can when forced to give up playing. "I'll help you", Bobby said. "And then I'll pack your dessert to go, ok?" Nate seemed satisfied. They picked up the toys and Bobby made a show of Nate helping him off the floor. Alex found some tupperware and put some eclairs in for her family. Liz whispered to Bobby while her sister was occupied. "Don't do anything stupid. Just…show her."
Show her what? That she was better off without him? That he was so sorry for the pain he caused her and that she should run? For one of the first times in his life, Bobby Goren was in a situation where he didn't have a plan.
Her family left in a whirlwind, with promises of calling next week to see when they could get together again. And then…she and Bobby were alone. Alex cursed the butterflies that rose in her stomach. She didn't have anything to be nervous about. This was all on Bobby now. She had the upper hand. They stood in the kitchen, not making eye contact. They were both on edge.
"It was nice to see them," Bobby started. Alex nodded. "Nate, he really likes you. Not many grown ups sit down and play with him except me and Dad. He's an only child, so…", Alex said. "It's important…for a kid to know they're loved." Alex thought about what Bobby's childhood must have been like. A sick mom, an absent father. Did anyone play on the floor with him?
Alex looked up at him then, and saw him studying her. She couldn't tell what he was thinking. It was unusual. It was on cases that they could read each other so well, but when it came to their personal lives, they were often out of sync. She wanted so badly to change that, to be a part of his life. But he wouldn't let her, and now here they were. And Bobby showed no signs of making the first move.
"Come to the table. Bring the eclairs," she said. Bobby obediently did as he was told. "So," Alex started. "What are you doing here?" Right to the point. That was his partner. No pulled punches.
"I had…have…some things to say to you." "Ok, like what?" Bobby sighed. He longed to pace but stayed in his chair as directed.
"I…I'm sorry, Eames. I thought if I could just…just get back to Major Case, everything would be fine. But it's not. I made a mess of things. With you. I…I should never have kept you in the dark. I…I thought I was protecting you. I didn't…I didn't know what else to do." He let it all out in a rush. These were bold statements for him. He never put his feelings on the line like this. It was uncomfortable to say the least. But if it helped get her back, he would do it. He was so tired of being alone.
"I don't need your protection, Bobby. You should know that by now. And the fact that all those people knew, and I didn't…I felt foolish standing there in front of them, trying to pretend I was ok with this. Like I understood it. Because I don't. I don't understand how you could lie to me. I thought…after the Tates thing…after I had covered your ass and lied for you…that things could be different. But they're not. You made your choice and now…I don't know. I don't know where we are now."
The hurt in her voice nearly took his breath away. He had done this. To the one person who had stood by him through all of his shit. He had betrayed her trust and he didn't know if he could ever get that back.
"I know. I know. I'm sorry. I felt like I was in hell and that no one could help me. I didn't realize…I didn't want to admit…that I needed help. I needed…I needed…you, Alex. And I screwed everything up because I didn't turn to the one person I trust with my life."
His honesty was a shock to her system. He was making himself so vulnerable to her in a way he never had before. She knew she had to be careful with this. His emotions were raw.
"I'm sorry too Bobby. Sorry that I didn't push harder to find out what was happening to you. It must have been awful. But you're not flying solo here. You have to know…I'm here to help you. I'm on your side. And I don't know why it's so hard for you to see that."
"Emotional stuff…I'm not good at it. My whole life has been about taking emotions out of the equation. Every criminal I've ever profiled…they lie. All the time. Right to your face. It gets to you. It makes you think…that everyone lies. But you don't lie to me. You've shown me incredible loyalty and respect and you put your faith in me. You stayed with me when everyone else tried to distance themselves. And…I don't…I don't know what to do with that."
It was a heartbreaking confession and Alex knew it wasn't easy for him to make it. She closed her eyes briefly and prayed she would have the right answer.
"Bobby," she said, bending her head to catch his eyes. "Try to accept me, ok? I do have your back. I don't have any hidden agenda over here. You should know by now that I don't do bullshit. And we've been through too much together for me to abandon you now. I need you to believe me that I'm not going anywhere."
She was always the strong one in this partnership. Even now, when things were so broken, she was a hopeful voice in the darkness. He was trying to apologize and here she was trying to make HIM feel better. He let out a sigh. In a brazen gesture, he inched his hand closer to hers. He touched her fingers lightly, then took her hand. He looked straight into her eyes and saw softness there. And something else that he didn't want to read into.
"I know what it's like to be lied to and I never want to put you in that position again. I'll try to be better at this…this emotional stuff. I really will. I want to be a better partner to you. I don't want to screw that up."
That was all he had to offer her. He wanted more but he knew that couldn't happen unless he made some changes. And the first step was repairing their partnership.
Alex squeezed his hand. She had to be patient with him. If everyone in her life had lied to her, she would probably feel the same way. She felt helpless that waiting was all she could do. And she didn't know how much waiting she could manage. She wanted more from him than he could give her, maybe ever. But she tamped those feelings down and determined that she would fight for their partnership now and worry about the rest later.
Alex nodded. "Ok," she said. "Ok what?", he asked, confused. "Ok, I accept your apology and your willingness to work on the rest", she said.
Bobby sighed in relief. This was the best outcome for now. That they could work on things. That she wasn't leaving like so many others had. That she was staying. With him. Despite everything.
"Thank you Eames…Alex. I know it's a lot to forgive." She shook her head. "Never mind that", she said. "It's over now. And we'll work on the rest of it together, ok?" "Ok", he agreed.
She withdrew her hand. She smelled her flowers and gave him a smile. A real, genuine smile that reached her eyes. She glanced over at the forgotten eclairs.
"Dessert time", she declared. They were forging ahead, with new resolve. But for now, they were on solid ground.
