Chapter 9, Clarity

Adrenaline was exhausting!

Teresa returned only slowly to herself, lying half on James's chest, sweated bodies still glued together, thigh to thigh. She was curled beside him, and he had pulled the sheet over them.

He breathed heavily; eyes closed. Then he felt her wake, and drew her close, as though to preserve a little longer the union they had reached in those last seconds of their angry exchange.

Then he opened his eyes, his mouth curling faintly as his glance met hers. She raised her brows in silent question.
James's eyes turned towards the deep red bite on his shoulder and Teresa made a face upon seeing it.

"I lost control." She mumbled.

She had dozed for less than half an hour, but even this short relaxation had brought out the soreness in every muscle in her body. Her insides felt like beaten eggs, and she was sure there would be bluish marks on her thighs.

"We've…never …had angry sex before!" she said without putting any thought into the statement.

"We've never been this angry!" He said calmly and her response came without wasting any time: "You have never been so angry with me!"

James exhaled: "True…You?...Were you angry with me? For letting her get so close?"

Teresa suddenly realized she didn't know. Was she expecting him to shy from communicating and working with women just because he was an attractive man and there was a chance, they might fancy him? Was this even normal? Had she not told Pote to tune down his similar feelings in regards to Kelly Anne and her winery work?

The silence stretched and she finally ventured: "I wish…you had stopped her before she had made her move...What were you talking about just then?"

Suddenly she realized that if she could somehow see what had transpired, she might find a reprieve and an excuse for the little gnawing feeling that James carried some blame because he had let the trap engulf him.

His answer made her look at him sharply: "The Taliban."

"Que?" Was he messing with her right now? It didn't seem appropriate!

But he just repeated simply: "We were talking about Afghanistan and the Taliban…and her having been an army reservist and having seen war."

Teresa scoffed and heard her first thought come out of her mouth: "Very romantic!"

James said in a low voice: "More like …reminiscing!"

And as she lifted herself on her elbow to look at him inquisitively, he continued: "So… you were upset I lacked foresight, but you are not angry…and that explains my shoulder…", he nodded towards the red bite on his shoulder: "…And the claw marks I must have on my back?"

Teresa exhaled deeply and lay her head down. It was necessary that they talked, but carajo it was difficult figuring herself out and getting it across to him!

"I realized I was angry with me…more than with you…with me for falling in the state of doubt…and fear…and paranoia! Because the truth, James, is that I doubted Pote's judgement…This time I did!….And when I told you I believed you…when you were pounding him with your fists…I did believe you! But I needed time before I could behave like …everything was normal!" She inhaled sharply and waited.

He kept silent for a while. Then touched her shoulder and said: "I didn't hurt you, did I?"

She only shook her head as she hadn't expected him to ask that in light of the nasty bite on his shoulder. Then he added in a muffled voice: "Pote owes me big time…for the damage on my shoulder. What should we do with him?"

She shook her head 'I don't know' and slowly put her palm against his, moving it up and down, feeling the tender touch and the heat.

Teresa knew that it would be crucial for the two men to reconcile, and the fact that James was making light of it now, gave her hope.

After a few heartbeats, she said: "I'm stupid…for letting bullshit fill my head! Maybe I'm just growing old!"

James chuckled: "47 isn't old!"

"How do you know how a woman feels at 47?" Teresa didn't look him in the eyes as she wasn't sure if she was teasing or really asking.

"I was around Camila when she was that age…Her mind would never allow such things… as age or indisposition… to put her down! Age doesn't affect strong women!"

Teresa kept sliding her palm over his when he suddenly grabbed her hand to get her attention: "I'm not suggesting you are anything like Camila…You are a million times better…and I forgive you for being afraid to talk to me…And ask that you forgive me for not seeing through Alina early enough."

Teresa squeezed his hand back and looked him in the eyes: "So, we are for life?"

He smiled and it reached his eyes: "The thought of another man putting his hands on you makes me… ahh…ballistic."

Teresa had a quick flashback of Pote's bloodied face at the mention of the word 'ballistic: "I can't imagine...another man putting his hands on me either!...Or for that matter - you putting yours on another woman! By the way, I fired her!"

James let go of her hand, lay back and sighed: "It's all settled then!"

His cell rang at this moment, and he lifted himself to look around the room for it. Then he stretched to the small table by the mattress and picked it up fast: "What's the matter, hon?"

There was only one person James called 'hon': Lena Galvez. The younger girls were 'babe' or 'darling'.

James felt for Lena like one would for a daughter, and she practically was his daughter as he had filled in for her father for the first three years of her life, and later had remained her favorite Tio who would do anything her father didn't want to, like surfing, boating, and rock climbing.

James said 'slow down, slow down' in an uptight voice which prompted Teresa to lift herself on her elbow.

She saw his face get suddenly serious as she could overhear snippets from the other side of the line: "Bucky went mad… threw me off…attacked me as I was trying to comfort him… "

"We're on our way!" James was already up, getting in his clothes.

"I never liked this Bucky! He is too stubborn for a horse costing over a $100 grand! And I told Kelly Anne so, but she never listens!" James was saying as he held the office door open for Teresa and motioned her outside.

"Why aren't they picking up? They still in Madagascar?" he said as he unlocked the Jeep.

"Yes. They're working on the coke!" Teresa said as she climbed in, deciding not to mention Pote's incident just then.

James realized the events of the last few days had had such a profound effect on him that the thought of the cocaine found in the warehouse had escaped him completely. Maybe she was not the only one getting old!