Summary: Luisa needs to get some stuff out of her head - that is all

Get Used to Disappointment

Luisa sat in her room staring at nothing as her father told her they would not be able to go to the city as previously planned. It was just too dangerous. He did not go into specifics, but it was clear his mind was made up. While she said she understood, she was most definitely not happy about it. He sat with her for a time but Luisa didn't want to talk about it. And after a prolonged awkward silence, he got up and said after kissing the top of her head, "I'm sorry Lulu, I wanted more than anything for this to work out."

"I know Pá."

Her father left and Luisa laid back on her bed. She looked out at the archway; she'd not been out there. Didn't want to go out there, though working out had always been something that helped her relieve stress. Which only served to remind her that her gift was, in fact, back.

She took Hernando off the night stand and laid on her side turning away from the archway. Always something, she thought, always. She wondered if Abuela had had something to do with this. Maybe it was her destiny to be stuck in the Encanto…forever. The tears started and Luisa cried a good long while until there was a knock on her door. She didn't answer it, whoever it was would likely come in regardless. The knock came again, this time she heard the muffled voice of her Tía.

"Come in," Luisa said as she sat up and wiped her tears away with a handkerchief Casita supplied from her nightstand. The door opened and Tía Pepa was there with a cup in her hand and a small bowl of something. "Lulu, I have your afternoon dose," she said and she stopped when she noticed Luisa's eyes were swollen from crying. Her Tía sat beside her on the bed as she set the bowl and cup on the nightstand.

"Thank you, Tía," Luisa said trying not to sound depressed.

"You're welcome," Tía Pepa said but she did not get up. Instead, she pulled Luisa's head onto her shoulder. She began gently rocking and told her to let it all out. She'd likely heard that her plans to go to school had been crushed like a bug under the heel of her destiny so Luisa did and after a while she realized that her Tía was not raining at all. Curious she looked over her Tía's head, not even a cloud.

Her Tía smiled and said, "See even your old Tía can learn a new trick." And offered Luisa a new handkerchief. She took the hankie and smiled when her Tía hugged her, "It will work out, Lulu. Just think of this as a minor setback."

"Do you really believe that?"

"Yes," she said confidently. "I believe that one day, you will be the finest vet the Encanto has ever seen."

"Tía, I'll be the only vet the Encanto has ever seen."

"Exactly," she said and nudged her. Luisa realized she just said she would be a vet and it made her smile. "Now drink your juice and eat your lunch," her Tía said as she got up, "We don't want to make your mama fret, now do we?"

"Okay," Luisa said as her Tía reached the door and added, "Tía Pepa?"

"Yes Lulu."

"Thanks."

The small cloud above her Tía's head was lightly sprinkling and she said, "You are most welcome, Luisa." Then she was out the door. Luisa drank the juice and ate the soup. Picking up both she headed out the door feeling kinda okay. She went into the kitchen to find Dolores and Antonio sitting on the patio. Antonio was tying a small bundle on Pico's leg saying, "Straight to Mariano, don't you get lost this time, okay?"

There was a short squawk from the toucan as he dutifully flew off in the direction of the town. Luisa set her dishes in the sink as quietly as she could so as not the disturb her cousins then went out into the courtyard. Isa was sitting in the alcove looking through a very large book, she didn't look up so Luisa decided to rest a bit and laid down on the hammock. Her throat, while a bit scratchy, did not hurt all that much. It was pretty quiet with everyone either being sick or on sick watch. She closed her eyes and was having a pleasant dream about helping people and their pets when she felt an out of place nudge on her arm. She opened her eyes and realized it was much later in the day. In fact it was almost dark. It really wasn't like her to sleep so long, maybe she was sicker than she thought. She blinked the sleep away and found her mother was next to her holding a cup.

"How are you feeling?" she asked and lightly touched Luisa's forehead and let her hand slip down to her cheek. "Throat still hurting?"

"About the same as this morning."

Her mother nodded and Luisa sat up swinging her legs out of the hammock. It was weird to her but she was pleased that her Mama was there at all. Normally her mother would have been out in the town plaza with her father ministering to others. Slowly giving away bits of her strength, Abuela would have insisted it be so. Luisa felt a moment of anger toward Abuela, but squelched it. She was here, and had been all day. Her mother could not heal herself, but Mira had said the doctor had given her some medicine that would work like the juice did. This was a change she could live with. Luisa could tell by how slowly and carefully her mother was moving that she needed to take a good long break.

"I'm okay, Mama," she said taking the cup. "How are you? You look really tired."

"Nice of you to notice," she said with a tilt of her head and a wry smile.

"Sorry," Luisa said after drinking the juice.

"Don't be, you're right. I'll be heading to bed after I make sure everyone has had their dose."

"Why don't you let me do that for you, Mama. I'm wide awake now and I would love to be able to do this for you."

Her mother looked ready to say no, but instead she smiled and said, "Thank you Luisa, that would be most helpful." Her mother took her to the kitchen and set out a pitcher next to a basket filled with cups. "I've already given one to your sisters and cousins, so you'll just want to give some to your Tios, Tía, Abuela and your father. He's out on the patio," she said with a tilt of her head. Her mother left the kitchen toward the stairs, aside from the fact that she was moving at half her normal speed, you would never know she was not feeling well. Luisa walked outside to find her father sitting with his back to her, looking out over the town. She set down the basket and filled a cup. She sighed, she was feeling a bit embarrassed about her behavior earlier. It certainly wasn't his fault that people were behaving badly outside. She knew he would never lie to her just to keep her happy.

"Hello, Pá," she said.

He looked back at her and smiled. She came around in front of him and he took the proffered cup, "Thank you, Luisa. Your mother finally went to bed?"

Luisa nodded and sat on the only other chair. "I'm passing out the rest of the juice for her."

"That's good, your mother needs to rest or she'll never get better." He was looking back at the town and asked, "How are you feeling?"

"Better."

He nodded.

"Pá?"

"Hmmm?"

"Love you."

"Love you too, Luisa."

"Goodnight, Pá," she said as she rose, picking up the basket and pitcher.

Luisa went next to her Tío Bruno's room. She tapped lightly on the door, which Casita opened without waiting for an answer. Her Tío was sitting in the red high backed chair with his eyes closed. Luisa thought maybe he was asleep, but just as she was setting the cup on the desk, he opened his eyes. They were glowing green and she almost spilled the juice. He blinked and after a moment the glow left his eyes and focused on her.

"Hello Luisa," he said as if nothing out of the ordinary had just happened. Maybe for him this was normal? She was pretty young when he'd gone missing so her memories of him were pretty scattered and incomplete. He reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out a small bottle. He popped the lid, took a sip of the contents then closed it and returned it to his pocket. Looking up at her he said, "Time for juice then?"

She nodded and handed him the cup. He drank it down in one go and handed her the empty cup.

"I'll see you later Tío, still need to give some to Tía Pepa and Tío Félix."

He nodded and said, "If you ever have questions, you know, about all this, he said and gestured toward his eyes, "just ask…"

She smiled and headed out the door stopping next at her Tía's door. She knocked and the door was opened by her Tío Félix. He nodded to her as she held up the pitcher and basket. After filling both a cup she waited for them to finish the juice, collected their cups and went next to Mira's room.

Mira's door was not all the way closed and Luisa could hear the sewing machine. She knocked and Mira turned and waved to her and seeing what she was carrying, she smiled and returned to her sewing. Abuela's door was open so Luisa knocked on the door frame and heard Abuela say to come in.

Alma was sitting near the window, doing a little crocheting in the fading light when she heard the the sewing machine stop briefly so it was likely Julieta was here with her next dose of juice. Mirabel had already had hers she said when she was in Isabela's room earlier. Alma hoped her daughter was not overdoing it. It was apparent that Julieta was suffering from the same thing as everyone else, she however did not have the luxury of magical juice. So, Alma was pleasantly surprised to see Luisa standing in her doorway.

"Good evening Luisa," Alma said.

"Good evening," Luisa replied but she seemed stuck in place and somewhat hesitantly said, "Abuela. I'm just...just..." she trailed off as she held out the basket and pitcher of juice.

The two of them had not been in a room alone together since before the breaking. Her almost run in with her own mortality the previous night made Alma all too aware she could not afford to waste a single opportunity. It was clear Luisa had more to say, but did not want to say it. Alma did not want to let her go until her nieta said what she needed to. No matter how hard it would be for her to hear so Alma braced herself and said, "Please come in, Luisa and close the door."

Luisa frowned but did so very reluctantly. Alma motioned for her to come and sit on the bed near her and Luisa's face said it all; she did not want to, but would because she was Abuela. Luisa set aside the pitcher and basket, put her hands on her knees, it appeared, in an effort to keep them still and sat as if awaiting judgment for some transgression.

As the silence stretched Luisa's face became more and more emotionless. Not a frown or even a crease of her eyebrows. Ay, woman look what you've done. Okay, no more stalling, Alma thought and said, "I have wanted to talk with you for some time now...because I know I have wronged you..." Luisa looked at the floor for a moment, it was clear she'd thought about this at length but was still unwilling to speak about it. So Alma said with much trepidation, "Please speak your mind, Luisa."

There was a long pause, but Alma knew she would have to be patient. She'd waited far too long to address this hurt she'd caused. This hole she'd created in her nieta's confidence.

"I used to believe you cared about the things I did for the town and by extension, you cared about me." Luisa finally said, "But it wasn't until Mirabel said it out loud that I saw the truth of it and it hurt me to my core, Abuela," Luisa said gruffly as she looked at her directly and once she began it all spilled out. "In that moment I saw that there would never be time to think about my future and as time went on there would always be another thing to do, another task even harder than the last. That I was being used up...I really can't say that I know where I stand with you. As strong as I am and even with everything I've accomplished. I've never felt like those accomplishments were enough, even this feels like an afterthought. Last night when Mira asked me to pray with her, I did it, but I want you to know it wasn't for your sake. It was for Mirabel's. She needs you alive and whole. I need to get on with my life and can't. I know your trying to set things right, but there is a part of me that does not trust you. Sounds weird to say, but it's how I feel, right now."

Alma took this all in and found she could not deny any of it. She set aside her crocheting and sat back in the chair. She looked out the window for a moment, then back at her granddaughter. She reached over and gently touched Luisa's arm and said, "Thank you for being honest and to begin, I want first to apologize for waiting too long to say this; you are right, I have hurt you deeply but you were never an afterthought, it was my own fear that kept me from this." Luisa looked about to say something, but Alma plowed on, "Please hear me out, I also wish to apologize and I do so from my whole heart for having taken you for granted." Alma covered one of Luisa's hands with hers and continued, "You have always been a blessing to our family and I was so very wrong to take advantage of your kindness and willingness to help. I am ashamed because it went on for far too long. Something I will always regret allowing to happen."

"Abuela, it's okay-" Luisa started to say but Alma interrupted her shaking her head.

"No. no, Luisa, it was not and it will never be 'okay' to treat someone like that and most especially, someone you are supposed to love and care about. Such things should never be conditional and I am sorry that I made it so,"Alma said as she gave Luisa's hand a squeeze. Luisa's doubt was clear so Alma went on, "As it should have always been, it is your dream for your future that matters. A future filled with the promise of healing, you are so like your mother in that regard and I hope you will allow me to be a part of that, though I understand if you cannot. As I said yesterday, you are not required to do anything you do not wish to. I also know your father explained about the dangers of leaving the Encanto right now, however please be assured we will not rest until we find a solution."

Luisa's sighed and almost smiled. It was obvious she did not believe a way could be found. Luisa filled a cup from her basket and handed it to her. Alma took a long drink of the juice to give herself a moment to untangle her thoughts. Luisa started toward the door but turned and said, "Abuela, see you in the morning?"

Alma nodded and said, "Thank you, Luisa."

Luisa went out the door gently closing it behind her. Alma picked up her crocheting, Casita brightened the room for her to see better as she thought, still so much to do, but at least it was a beginning.

Luisa closed the door to Abuela's room and took a really deep breath. She realized maybe avoiding Abuela wasn't the best way to deal with her issues with her. She knew a year ago she would not have dared say the things she did and Abuela had listened and taken her seriously. All in all, she felt a little better about the day and decided to take Tía Pepa's advice and think of this as a minor setback. As she stood there she noticed the sewing machine was silent. She looked over and saw an excited Mirabel smiling holding out a pair of dark blue pants.

"These are for you," she said, "Wanna try them on? Well, you need to try them so I can make sure they fit right. Don't want em to split when your bending over. Gosh I hope that doesn't happen. Girl pants are so different than boy pants...I mean just taking your hips into account almost drove me batty..."

Luisa set down the items she was carrying and went over and hugged Mirabel effectively cutting off the flow of words with a small squeak. Her sister would never know just how loved she truly was.

"Wow! I hope Isa's that excited," Mirabel said once her feet were back on the floor.

"Yup, it's all about the pants," Luisa said examining them. She pushed the door closed and switched out her skirt for the pants. They felt snug at the top but that was probably because of her bloomers. Something she hadn't considered when she asked her sister to make them. Mirabel instructed her her squat then bend over and touch her toes. They were too long and Mirabel asked if she wanted them to come above or below her ankle. Luisa had not actually considered that and decided above would be best.

Mirabel nodded and had her stand on then stool as she pinned the material telling her she could pick them up tomorrow. Luisa changed back into her skirt but before she left she sat her sister down on the sofa. Sitting next to her she said, "Pá told me today that we wouldn't be able to go to Bogota any time soon, it's too dangerous on the roads. So no need to rush."

"Oh, I'm so sorry Luisa..."

"I'm okay now. Had a good cry over it with Tía Pepa. But I wanted you to know that you were right about Abuela. She actually apologized...never thought that would happen," Luisa said, "but, thanks for helping me see past my anger, there was more of it in there than I thought."

Mira nodded and smiled, then her expression turned curious as she said, "You know, Tío Bruno showed me a vision he had last night and since I've already recruited Isa's help..."

Luisa stared at her hermanita and was not surprised by her calculating gaze. All the best trouble they'd ever gotten into when they were younger was because of her. It used to drive Isabela to distraction and truth be told this made Luisa feel somewhat nervous but still she wondered what in the world were her sisters up to.

"I wonder if Tío is still up, Casita?" Mirabel asked. There was a clatter and Mirabel rolled her eyes. "Too late. What time is it?" she asked and looked at the clock. "10:30 already? I guess that is kind of late..."

Luisa poked Mira's shoulder to get her attention and said, "You are not getting off this sofa with out a better explanation of whatever it is your talking about."

Mirabel smiled and said, "We need you for a mission of utmost importance..." Mira then went on to explain about what she'd seen in Tío Bruno's tablet as well as what she thought they might actually be able to do about that. Luisa felt her smile grow and thought, well I can't leave town but at least I'll have something to do.