Izuku sat at his bedroom door leaning against the frame head tilted awkwardly to lean on the frame also. Kachan sat on the floor against the wall opposite, his knees up and arms resting on them. It'd been two weeks and he had kept his word and made sure he ate everyday. He had also not tried to enter his room since.
"You don't have to keep coming over when Mum works nights" Izuku said softly. He was starting to feel guilty. It was the summer holidays and Kacchan had spent it helping him get his apatite back and coming over more. He understood why, he was afraid to leave him alone. And Izuku couldn't blame him. But it must have been boring.
"Being alone all the time can't be nice"
Izuku frowned because it wasn't like his Mum abandoned him. She had two jobs, and rarely a day off. When she did she spent it with him between the errands she needed to run.
"I don't mind" he shrugged "despite how I act I don't actually think I know how to be around people"
Kacchan bowed his head looking displeased by that statement.
"I would still rather stay" he shrugged mirroring Deku's head tilt. He looked tired, more than usual and he couldn't help but feel responsible.
"I'm not going to do anything" he whispered pulling his legs up to his chest. "I'm eating aren't I?" He asked and noticed the blondes eye twitch
"Barely" he answered flatly
"It's just going to take me some time to get used to"
"I know that. But it's been two weeks and you should be ready to eat more"
Izuku frowned tightening his arms around his legs.
"So you don't trust me right now?" He asked softly and it's not like he could blame him. He had tried to jump off a bridge, well he supposed technically he had.
"I'm just..." he trailed off a flash of fear crossing his face and Izuku felt bad. Izuku nodded and he was happy to be someone the blonde worried about but he was starting to feel really bad he was affecting his sleep.
"I'm sorry" he apologised weakly and tried not to flinch at the way the red eyes sharply looked up to him "You're tired. Have you even been sleeping?" He asked feeling the pang of guilt. He didn't want this, Kacchan not sleeping to be on some sort of suicide watch.
"Not since the night..." he trailed off and Izuku frowned at that "You were right there... I wasn't as-" he cut off. Izuku twisted his head to his bed. Kacchan had been sleeping on the couch. Refusing to ask to come in his room and Izuku wasn't ready to invite him in. But... he wanted him to sleep. He looked awful and there was probably nightmares too. An idea bloomed but he wasn't sure how it would be received. Clenching his fists to his knees he pulled up all his courage, still unable to believe Kacchan would want him in his space. Despite the fact he had made a point to always be there these last two weeks.
"If it'll help... I can come stay at yours" he offered and felt his heart pound at the blank look on the blondes face. "I-I just... I meant-" he tried to back track and unclenched his hands to weave them together feeling stupid.
"You'd do that?" He asked in disbelief and Izuku only nodded
"I want you to sleep" he whispered shrugging awkwardly, feeling barely anything from his scabbing burn.
"I don't want you to be uncomfortable" the blonde shook his head and Izuku almost laughed but had to swallow it down but smiled tightly.
"Pretty sure I'm gonna always be uncomfortable. But I don't mind" he decided to be honest, Kacchan needed it "I want you to sleep"
"But... we would share the bed" he pointed out and Izuku nodded
"Well I figured that much" he teased lightly but there wasn't really any effort to it "but if it helps, I'll sleep at yours tonight"
He saw the hesitation, the way he was thinking it over and he didn't interrupt it. Despite his spiking anxiety.
"If its starts to upset you" he spoke in warning "I am serious you kick my ass out the bed" he ordered
Izuku felt the logic confuse him. It would be his bed, what sense did it make for him to kick the owner out instead of getting out himself.
"But-"
"That's the condition Deku. I'm not blind I see the way you try not to get too close"
"That-" he cut off before he said something stupid. How does he explain its more to do with his own feelings than worry Kacchan would do something to him. So he hesitantly nodded "okay" he agreed. He got up when the blonde did and followed him down the stairs, out the door locking the house and across the street. Texting his Mum as he walked up the Bakugo drive.
Kacchan had gone to get a shower leaving Izuku sat on his bed. He was glad he was already in his pyjamas before offering to stay. He struggled to remain calm, the nerves of being alone with the guy he was in love with, sharing a bed was proving to be more than he expected. He'd done it before, but he supposed being depressed and completely ready to die was not the same. His emotions weren't dulled down now, and he was slowly becoming more like himself with the influence of Kacchan. The only thing holding him back was his refusal to let his hope take over.
The blonde came in, hair damp and low from its usual spikey volume. Izuku felt his heart pick up at the softer look to his crush. Despite his broad shoulders, and big arms the hair not as aggressive diminished that prickly vibe he usually gave off. It wasn't like Izuku hadn't seen it before, rainy days, swimming and all that. But in his room, alone... Well, it did something to him. The bare chest and towel hung at his hips didn't help either. The guy was in ridiculously good shape for an almost sixteen year old and Izuku had to turn his head away. Noting Kacchan move to his walk in wardrobe and closing the door. He had the urge to follow, to run his hands over the strong chest... the muscles of that six pack. Biting his lip he hoped to whatever graced him with the very little luck he had, that Kacchan would sleep with a top on.
His payers were answered when he came out in grey joggers and a black vest, well half answered.
It was late, Mr and Mrs Bakugo already asleep. Izuku felt a little awkward, and really didn't want to initiate getting in bed together. Kacchan seemed to have sensed as much when he rolled his eyes and moved over to the shuffle to the end of the bed closest to the wall. It was bigger than Izuku's old single bed, much comfier too.
"Come on, it's late we should sleep" he ordered reaching behind Izuku to turn the light off. The room darkened only the dull light from the streetlights coming through the thin curtains. Izuku got under the covers with the blonde and was surprised with the immediate hear radiating off him. He turned to face him and smiled tightly at seeing him watching him cautiously. It broke Izuku's heart to see he put it there. This tiredness... and tension with clear fear. It didn't belong on the confident, care free guy he love. He slowly, very hesitantly took the large hand and held his firmly
"I'm not going anywhere" he whispered "sleep" he practically pleaded. Kacchan nodded, not because he agreed Izuku thought, or believed him. But more to say okay. "What can I do to help?" He asked and saw the hesitation "tell me" he encouraged.
"Just... let me hold on" he choked out squeezing his hand slightly. The growl in his voice shot down Izuku's spine. And the idea he wanted him so close, because before his spiralling mental stability he'd likely have been giggling at the opportunity.
He was scared, he wasn't making a move he just wanted to make sure he wasn't going to die. That's what he told himself, what he repeated to keep his feelings in check. He took a deep breath, holding it in as he slowly let his hand go to shuffle closer against his chest, his head buried under his chin, nose against his Adams apple. Kacchan's arm hovered over him and Izuku felt his heart swell with love. He was sweet deep down.
"It's okay, Katsuki" he whispered his hand landing on his chest, feeling the strong heart beating a little faster than it should. Slowly he was encircled in the strong arm. He ignored the way he felt safe, and wanted, because it was never going to be that. The hand flattened on his back between his shoulder blades.
"Thanks Izuku" he whispered
The heat was beautiful, and welcome. He'd been cold for so long, alone and scared. He wasn't sure when the fear subsided in the last two weeks, he wasn't sure when he stopped feeling so alone and that, that scared him. He had to remember it was only temporary. When he felt the tension of the arm around him subside he smiled against the warm neck, before allowing himself to sleep too.
-
Another two weeks had passed and Izuku was back to eating three meals a day, small meals but Kacchan was happy about it, he had even gained weight. His burn had healed up and to both their dismay, it had scarred. It was clear what it was too, and Izuku was sure you could even see the fingerprints on the thumb and fourth finger. His mum was working a lot so Kacchan was over to make sure he ate, and talked to him awkwardly. He had stayed over a few more times, but Kacchan seemed to be getting better.
Mrs Bakugo was thrilled to be seeing so much of him. Kacchan had gone to exercise in his home gym and Izuku was getting in some bits for his mum. The sun was going to set soon and he wanted to get back for dinner. Kacchan was a great cook, and he wasn't sure he'd have been so eager to start eating again if the food wasn't so irresistible. And Kacchan knew it too, he would scoff at any compliments given, like it was something obvious. He had kept his word and been nice, so much so Izuku had to remind himself they weren't friends. He still called him Deku, Nerd and Idiot. But they seemed almost... affectionate? He could be imagining it though.
He was down the road from his house when the familiar laughs of a very drunk Karaku reached him. His heart picked up, a cold sweat at the idea of dealing with him. Karaku was an awful twenty something college kid who lived near his elementary school. He was awful and liked to remind Izuku just how powerless he was. And the last few years he'd occasionally be drunk. And they always ended with Izuku beaten up. He didn't even fight it, just put the shopping down and turned to face Karaku.
"Aw look, the puppy is waiting" he chortled and it made Izuku's skin crawl. Karaku always made him uncomfortable. He looked at him in a way he didn't understand and it made him afraid.
"How old are you now?" He asked putting his hand on the smaller boys head
"Fifteen" he answered his birthday was a week ago. The man sneered as he moved closer
"Not too long now then" he whispered and it wasn't until his hand was cupped behind his neck the peices clicked into place for Izuku. His stomach churned and he stepped back but the hand moved to his hair gripping it tightly. "What? Think you're too good for me?" He asked angry his other hand clamping over his neck. Izuku frantically shook his head tears coming to his eyes. He tried to blink them back but he felt the pressure on his cheek before a flash of pain registering too late Karaku had let go of his hair and punched him. The tears fell.
"You're a quirkless nobody!" He snarled shoving him back into a wall knocking the breath from Izuku as his grip on his neck tightened the bite of his nails causing him to whimper. "Be glad someone like me is interested! You won't have anyone else"
He punched him in his side and the cry was cut off from the pressure on his throat. He couldn't breathe and his hands clawed at the hand cutting off his airways. The edge of his vision was blacking out and he felt the panic rise and it only got worse when he couldn't breathe. He collapsed to the floor in a heap gasping in as much air as he could before his vision whitened at the foot in his face, the precious air he regained knocked from him with a kick to his gut.
"Peice of shit!" Karaku growled "was trying to be nice" he huffed before stumbling off leaving Izuku gasping for air tears falling down his face.
He was crouched there head on the cold concrete, an arm cradling his torso as he had to remember how to breathe. There was a stinging on his eye brow and warmth on his face. Pushing himself up trying to breathe through the pain he headed to the bag that had remained untouched. He wasn't entirely sure but after crying about his mum going hungry the people who stole his food and the money on him had stopped doing it. So he was happy they at least considered his mum when letting their frustrations out on him.
He walked in the house leaving the bag on the side before heading to the bathroom. His left cheek was swollen and bruising while his right eyebrow had split causing blood to come down his face, there was clear bruises forming and Izuku wanted to cry, his mum was going to be so upset. His neck was also bruised, much more than he expected. Karaku must have really gone for it. His didn't bother checking his torso. He could breathe without sharp pains so no ribs were broken but he knew he'd have some nasty bruises. He decided to clean himself up and go put the shopping away. When he had pulled out some ice and put it in the towel his door burst open
"Okay Nerd, got something a bit heavier for you but I think you're ready. Gimme two weeks and you-" he cut off as Izuku turned to face him. His entire body turned ridged as he stormed closer putting the container on the side. Izuku smiled weakly
"I-" he cut off at the barely audible sound from his mouth and the pain of it. Damn, he couldn't speak.
"Who?" Kacchan asked his voice harsh, sharp and it scared Izuku. He pulled out his phone holding it to Izuku "who?" He asked again. Izuku shook his head and leant against the counter. Kacchan pressed his lips together and pocketed his phone reaching for Izuku and stopping. His hand hovered close not touching his bruising cheek. It was so close though, Izuku could feel the heat from him. He'd been distant when not helping Kacchan sleep, and wasn't willing to let himself forget they'd be parting ways soon. But he was hurt, and wanted to cry and the thought of doing it in Kacchan's arms sounded so nice. He very nearly- his brain stopped as the hot, calloused thumb brushed under his eye
"What can I do?" He asked softly, so softly and Izuku couldn't stop himself, closing his eyes to lean into the touch. So he just shook his head: nothing. He couldn't eat for a while he knew that much from experience, even if he didn't find it hard to swallow. Kacchan moved to the sink, making a glass of water and placing it next to Izuku.
"At least try to drink. I'll make some soup if you can swallow this" he said and with his free hand Izuku took it. It hurt, really hurt but if he took sips he could do it. So he nodded to tell Kacchan it was okay. Despite his best efforts to keep his feelings in check they were in fact getting worse. And he did a lot of things for the sole purpose of not worrying Kacchan, or making him feel worse. Even forcing down the soup if it hurt.
The room was silent as Kacchan worked, making Izuku sit at the table with the DIY ice pack on his face. His mum was going to freak out. It had been a long time since anyone actually marked up his face. Afraid the police may actually have to get involved if they had... not that they ever would. But he supposed his assailants never knew that. He looked at Kacchans phone on the table that he had left out for him in case he needed to say anything, complaining that Izuku needed to get a better phone that did more than text and call. But he didn't need more that than that, he only had his mum in the contacts anyway. He could have used his own phone but Kacchan refused to look at the "shitty small screen"
A little bubble appeared as the phone buzzed on the table with some text
Shitty Hair: Hey bro how goes your operation De...
He frowned at the text as it faded away leaving the little bubble with a boy with bright red hair stuck up everywhere. His heart sank at the words but he tried to tell himself it could be anything. He knocked on the table causing Kacchan to turn around to look at him. He pointed to the phone causing the other boy to scowl and come over. The scowl only deepened as he picked it up to read the text. Izuku couldn't get a read on what he was thinking and the boy clicked his tongue before looking at Izuku looking up and down then sighing.
"My friend wants to invite you out. He's not from school so you don't need to worry. He's an idiot but he means well" he looked unsure about his words and it didn't fill Izuku with much confidence on the matter. Holding out his hand Kacchan handed him the phone, the chat gone but the bubble on the corner. The notes was open and Izuku typed his question.
And he knows about me? He held the phone up and was given Kacchan's 'idiot' look meaning it was obvious. Izuku rolled his eyes and typed about me being quirkless
Kacchan's face fell as he realised what he meant.
"Yeah, he's more evolved than the rest of us. Actually didn't give a shit and was offended I had to clarify it" he shrugged and it made Izuku feel cautious. The ones who acted nice were usually the worst it took a while for him to stop believing they wanted to be friends. "Hey" Kacchan said pulling him from his anxiety and crouching down to look up to him. "I wouldn't let someone mess with you. I know my word means nothing but... I trust him. I've told him about you, and how I'm trying to..." he frowned and looked annoyed "redeem myself slightly and he actually hit me when I told him what I'd done" he chuckled and Izuku frowned how much did he tell him?
How much does he know?
"Just that we were friends... and I bullied you... not the burns or what I said or how bad it got, I was ashamed" he pointed at himself and then to Izuku "and its not my place"
That made him feel better but he still wasn't sure he could go out with people
Just him?
"His girlfriend will be there, they've been together for a while and she's annoying but nice" he shrugged "You don't have to but he has been nagging to meet you" he said moving back to the stove and taking the pan to the sink where he had put the blender. He really wasn't up for going anywhere right now and he didn't want to bring more people into his life to lose them in a month when he and Kacchan go their separate ways.
Eating the soup helped and he even managed to talk. But that could have been the water he'd drank too.
"Deku, I-" he was cut off but the cry of Izuku's mother
"What happened!?"She yelled coming over to cradle his face as she cried "oh my baby! What happened?" She asked Kacchan
"I don't know, he was like this when I got here. Won't tell me who did it" he said not looking too pleased "he can't talk well either" he added
"I'm fine Mum" he croaked smiling up to her ignoring the pain in his face both of them looked at him clearly not believing him. He got up to go the bathroom.
They were talking when he returned and he couldn't help but slow to stop at the door.
"I'm so glad to see you around more. You both never said but your mum and me were sure you two had... stopped being friends"
"Deku has always been my friend, even..." he trailed off and Izuku could guess how that sentence was going to end
"When you made other friends when he couldn't?" His mum asked softly
"It took a while for me to learn they weren't friends" Kacchan said "I've made a better one, he actually asked to meet Deku"
"And you trust him? To be nice to him?" She asked her tone clearly worried.
"More than me" he scoffed "I mean he's not as-" he cut off
"Hardened" she supplied and Kacchan burst out in a laugh that Izuku hadn't heard since they were four years old.
"What?" She asked
"Nothing... just funny"
"Is he okay Katsuki?" She asked "I work so much, we barely have a chance to see each other"
"I think he got a little down for a bit" Kacchan said and Izuku almost burst in from behind the wall "but it's probably to be expected... people have been cruel to him and even the strongest of people have periods it'll get to them, right?"
Izuku felt his heart beat pound, feeling it in multiple pulse points. Strong? Did he just call him strong?
"And now?" She asked
"He's getting better. Hopefully going to a new place will bring back that enthusiasm he always has"
"He's going to go?" She asked surprised and he winced.
"What do you mean?"
"He said something about online classes and-"
"He's not going to U.A?" Kacchan interrupted "that's why he hasn't packed anything yet?"
He walked in effectively ending their conversation but he could see the rage burning in Kacchan's eyes. This wasn't over.
-
A week had passed and Izuku felt better and his voice had come back a few days later he was in Kacchan's house helping him pack away some stuff for donations. His mum wanted a clear out to redecorate and had forced the boys to help.
"Eijiro has asked again if you'll come out tonight. We're going for a movie and food after" he said and Izuku stopped wrapping the vase in his hand "why won't you try?" He asked and then narrowed his eyes
"I just... when school starts I'm sure we will... I mean you're gonna make new friends and I-" he cut off at the hand on his chin forcing him to look up to the fiery red eyes. It was the first time he had touched him without warning since agreeing to eat and it sent a wave of heat through him
"I won't make the same mistakes twice Deku" he said firmly "if people have a problem with our friendship then fuck them"
"But-"
"I said fuck them" he said firmly the his eyes softened "this is why" he muttered
"Why?" Izuku asked
"Your mum told me about the online classes. You- you expected this to be temporary from the beginning. You didn't plan to be friends properly after summer did you?" He asked and even though he kept his tone even and somewhat aggravated his eyes were hurt. Like it really upset him that Izuku didn't want to be his friend. His hand fell from Izuku's chin and he turned away "guess I should have expected that"
Izuku's eyes watered because it was true but it wasn't like he wanted to. But he knew he couldn't, Kacchan was an extrovert and people gravitated toward him, he thrived in being social and finding competition. If they were friends he would lose all of that. And a part of him was scared he would realise that and leave him behind again, that he would turn on him again. He wiped at his eyes trying to stay calm. It was probably time to tell him. He'd be leaving in a few weeks and he had really helped Izuku. He hadn't felt this good on a long time and the knowledge that he didn't disgust him really helped. More than it should he knew.
"Come with me" he said as he heard Mrs Bakugo come in. He lead them to his empty house, where nobody would hear. When he didn't stop at the living room he heard Kacchan call him and cursing to follow up the stairs. He stopped at his door and Izuku smiled softly a wave of love knocking the air from him. Kacchan had really done all he could to prove himself and Izuku knew he trusted him, even if a small part of him still feared he was being naive. He had given up on trying to kill his feelings for the blonde, he just accepted he would never not love him. So he stepped forward taking the blondes wrist and guided him over the threshold.
"Deku" he breathed tensing and it made Izuku tighten his hold. When they sat on his bed, side by side he took a deep breath. Letting go of Kacchan to place his hand flat on the bed either side of him.
"I want to be, your friend" he said not looking up from his feet "but I have had enough, I can't be the bullied, quirkless, waste of space. I can't watch you turn away from me again. You said you wanted to make me healthy again and you have. I didn't think you'd want to do anything past that" he explained
"I just hoped, even though I don't deserve it that you'd-" he cut off
"And I have... I've never held anything against you Kacchan. I've always just-" he cut off at the hot hand covering his and he looked to the taller blonde who was looking down at him "What?"
"You called me Kacchan" he whispered and tightened his hold on the smaller boy who tensed up realising his mistake. He had been so careful, avoiding saying the stupid nickname that infuriated his old friend for the last ten years "no... don't clamp up on me. Its okay. I've missed it" he said leaning his big shoulder against Izuku and the boy couldn't calm his heart from the intimacy of it. He forgot the point he was trying to make, he had to rewind and remember where he had been cut off. Right, friends, he'd forgiven him. He cleared his throat trying to pull himself from his emotions
"I just wanted to be your friend and I hoped you did too, but then you told me to-" he pressed his lips into a thin line his free hand coming to his chest as the pain radiated at the memory
"I didn't mean it" he whispered "I didn't mean a word of it" he added
"I know, I do, but that doesn't change what I am. And it doesn't change who you will become I don't want to hold you back, I don't want to risk ruining your dream"
"I thought it was our dream" he said
"I realised that was a futile dream a long time ago. I've had a new one for a long time now" he shrugged which was true, he had wanted to see Kacchan named Number One, see him save people and protect the weak from those who would abuse their power.
"What? What dream?"
"To see you make it, to see you fulfil that promise we made. You can Kacchan, you have the drive, the dedication, the heart... you have the strength to go to the top and I want to see it. Before I inevitably meet my fate I want to see it" his eyes were watering again
"But you won't come to school"
"I don't belong there. I was delusional and I can't-"
"I won't abandon you again" he said "you're not a waste of space Deku. Fuck!" He closed his eyes "the fuck did I do?" He hissed and Izuku understood the question wasn't for him. "Come meet Eijiro and Mina. Give me a chance to show you it'll be different"
"That won't change the fact I'll be a quirkless kid at a school exclusively training pro heroes. Come on Kacchan look how it was in a normal school!"
The older boy sighed his hand tightening on the younger as Izuku tried to remain calm but this really was more than he had bargained for. He just wanted Kacchan to believe he trusted him, that he had no grudges. But Kacchan was being very close... and it was leaving Izuku a nervous wreck. He didn't say anything, but it wasn't like he could say much. Izuku was right and they both knew it. He tensed as Kacchan leant against him, his arm fully against his own and the heat warming Izuku intensified.
He was always cold, he put it down to his lack of food. He wanted to lean into him, he wanted to be closer, to run his hands over his shoulders, run them down his back. He swallowed his mouth feeling dry as his heart pounded and he wondered when he got these urges. He knew he liked Kacchan, he knew he wanted more but it was easy to keep himself in check because they were never so close. Why was he even touching him? Not that Izuku minded it was just confusing, and overwhelming.
Honestly he had never had physical contact much, besides the negative side of it. Even when Kacchan had touched him briefly he couldn't focus on anything else. They'd learnt the basics of sex in school, and he couldn't deny the daydreams but it was different with him close, he didn't expect to want to be so close.
"Maybe not, but if anyone tries to hurt you I'll kick their fucking ass!" He promised and his eyes held Izuku's when he looked to him in surprise because the tone was so severe it caused a shiver to run down his spine.
"Katsuki" he whispered and the blonde frowned leaning forward to put his head on Izuku's. And Izuku couldn't breathe, he was too close, his mouth felt dry and he tried to resist, he really did but his tongue shot out to lick his lips. When Kacchan's eyes dropped to catch the action Izuku thought he may pass out, because he didn't look away and the way his shoulder visibly moved as his breathing was picking up.
He isn't... is he? Izuku thought frantically and in his nerves he pulled his lower lip into his teeth, before he could try to collect himself Kacchan's hand came to his jaw, his thumb pressing on Izuku's lip to encourage him to let it go. He did. He was sure he'd do anything the older boy asked at this moment in the hope to get anything close to his day dreams... to keep the feeling in his core going for longer.
"Let me try" Kacchan whispered his tone pleading and Izuku didn't know what he was asking for... to prove himself? Or to kiss him? Either one he was inclined to agree to at this moment. He moved his free hand up to put it on his chest intending to push him back so he could breathe, so he could think "Please? Izuku" Kacchan asked his hand moving from over the hand on the bed to the one on his chest.
And then Izuku's brain short circuited at the feel of warm, soft lips over his. His breath stopped as the heat intensified and the pounding of his heart turned into a nervous flutter. He needed to breathe his vision spun and Kacchan pulled back letting Izuku take a breath in as his body moved forward to claim the lips once again.
His hand tightened on the black vest as he was pulling himself closer to the blonde. Kacchan let out a surprised 'mmf' before his hand moved from Izuku's jaw to cup the back of his neck as Izuku opened his mouth to deepen the kiss. He didn't know what had come over him, this was stupid, it was idiotic when he knew how this would end.
But when Kacchan took the lead and his tongue brushed over his tongue he gasped at the way it shot through him and all his hesitation went out the window. He pushed his tongue out to meet Kacchans, hoping he was doing it right. The contact did things to him and he couldn't understand it. They didn't say it felt like this... so good, so hot... and oddly not enough.
He needed more but wasn't sure he was ready for that yet. What if Kacchan was? What if he'd already- he has had girlfriends. Suddenly he felt foolish, and pulled away breathing hard. He had girlfriends. He wasn't gay and he- but he kissed me he thought frustrated. But it was so tense... so intimate maybe he just got caught up in the moment the way Izuku had. Kacchan frowned opening his eyes clearly dazed at the sudden loss of contact
"Izuku?" He asked gently his thumb brushing under his jaw and green curls shook as he shook his head leaning back fully
"I- I'm sorry" he stuttered "I shouldn't- I got swept up. I'm sorry" he stood up
"Hey, I kissed you" he said catching Izuku's wrist "you don't need to apologise"
"Y-y-yes but it was only a peck and I-" he put his face in his hand feeling embarrassed and Kacchan pulled on his hand as he stood up to tower over the younger boy
"You think I didn't want to?" He asked causing the greenette to look at him warily "You think I just kiss people cause I'm scared to hurt their fucking feelings if I reject them?"
"I-"
"I was trying to be considerate, I figured it was probably your first and I didn't want to pressure you" he explained and Izuku felt as if his heart grew two sizes at the love and appreciation he had for this guy. "But I was wrong" he smirked
"You weren't" he shook his head "I just..." he frowned "I don't really know what came over me" he admitted and Kacchan sighed
"Not surprising if we think about it" he glared at his feet and Izuku could see him blaming himself "I'm sorry I shouldn't have let myself kiss you though"
Izuku felt his throat close as the inevitable rejection hit him. Of course he would regret it. "Fuck sake" he hissed and moved his fingers down Izuku's wrist and weaved their fingers together "I meant because I don't deserve to. I don't deserve your trust" he gestured to the room and Izuku smiled, glad he understood what he was trying to do "or your forgiveness"
"I think you're wrong" he said softly
"Agree to disagree" he smirked softly "I'm glad you reacted so enthusiastically though. I was a little worried you would just go along with it to keep me happy"
Izuku frowned at that because he had thought he had done a good job keeping his boundaries. But maybe Kacchan didn't have that faith in him.
"Why did you do it?" He asked hesitantly and the blonde frowned looking confused
"I wanted to know" he said simply and groaned at the look of disappointment that flit across Izuku's face "You're such a fucking overthinker. I had thought about it a lot and I wanted to know if I could. If what I thought was right"
"Oh. I - I see" he stuttered and felt a little embarrassed, he hadn't thought he had been that transparent.
"Something tells me you don't" Kacchan snipped before rolling his eyes.
The call of his Mum reached them just before the sound of the front door closing
"I'm here" he called and looked up to Kacchan giving him a small smile. The blonde squeezed his hand "Kacchan is here too" He called and giggled at the way the blondes face fell in surprise.
"Hello Katsuki!" She called up
"Hi, Auntie" he called not looking from Izuku "we still need to talk" he said softly lifting their hands to brush his finger over Izuku's cheek. Izuku nodded and had no idea if he was prepared to deal with it. He had accepted that he would never get back what they had, and that they wouldn't be what he wanted. At least he had, until just a few minutes ago. Now he didn't know what to think. Kacchan said he didn't think he understood, which and him wonder if it wasn't to confirm his feelings. Was it to confirm Kacchan's feelings? His stomach lurched as his heart picked up. That would be absurd, though, he did kiss him. And it was a kiss! Maybe it wasn't so far fetched after all.
"Katsuki, dear would you like yo stay tonight?"
Izuku straightened as he quickly looked up from his drink to his mother and to Kacchan who was looking at him, he had a small smile on his face, and raised his brow, asking permission. Izuku just blushed and looked down to his glass. And gave a very small nod.
"Thanks Auntie. I'd love to"
"Fabulous, I'd be much happier not leaving Izuku alone again, and he had intruded on your Mum enough" she chirped and Izuku looked up to see her looking very happy. She would have to go to work again in a few hours.
"We um... we're gonna go out anyway" Izuku stammered and his mum and Kacchan looked up to him with surprise "Right Kacchan?" He asked nervously. The grin that spread across his face was almost contagious and it caused excitement to bubble in his stomach. He hadn't felt excited about anything in so long he almost laughed.
"Yeah" Kacchan said "yeah we are" he looked to his mum "my friend, the one I told you about. Him and his girlfriend invited us out for a movie and dinner"
"Oh wonderful, that sounds like fun. A-are you sure its-"
"They're really excited to meet him" Kacchan said "I promise Auntie nothings gonna happen"
"Well... I'm glad" she smiled and taking Kacchans hand "thank you. You've been the best friend I could ever hope for... just like your mother" she said and Izuku saw the flash of guilt before the strained smile took his features.
"I'll be okay Mum" Izuku reassured her.