Paradis' Strongest Soldier

A light spring shower coated the ground in puddles that morning. Tires splashed the water in all directions, hitting some poor streetworker who hollered expletives in his native language. Thousands of fat worms were stupidly drowning themselves or letting birds pick them off. Another day where the strong survived and the weak died, whether in nature or in a hospital.

Levi leaned his aching wrapped head against the car seat headrest in Onyonkopon's vehicle. It felt damn good to be outside of that ward. He had no way of getting a private room for his unprecedented arrival yesterday afternoon, so he had to share a ward with another patient. It wasn't that he minded having to share a space despite having years of privilege of a private military barrack and then time in a holding camp. It was the fact that his roommate had deteriorated so far from a long time illness that the breathing was wheezy, a haunting sound from behind the curtain, and the hushed whispers of the nurses behind the privacy curtains did not help matters. Tch, at least he wasn't in any condition to talk to him.

He didn't need any more reminders on how close he himself had been to dying by some rocks that day. And the weeks that followed. The blurred figures. Their hands on him. Swimming in some dark shadow he could not escape.

"Three weeks from now?" Onyonkopon interrupted his thoughts. He always seemed to find the time to check on them and update them despite his arduous government work schedule. Hell, he was at the hospital at the drop of his hat after the Braun's neighbors escorted him. Kind of Muriel and Adofo to do that even if he felt that they were trying to poke questions out of him. Better to have someone who fought at his side who wasn't into him for the spectacle of a war hero or criminal.

"And at least a week to recover," he repeated the surgeon's consultation, looking straight ahead. "Followed by therapy if it even works. Not worse than usual."

His hit head as a result of fainting from the growing, severe pains was a great excuse to keep him overnight so that his leg could be prodded and radiographed until the conclusion was reached that his prior surgeries had caused excessive scar tissue build up that one of the doctors was astonished that he had not complained about his pain sooner.

Funny thing it was, the bafflement of the Survey Corps medic the time his ankle snapped from Annie's Titan form, and he just shrugged it off, walking around a week later. He'd been fine from injuries growing up in the Underground slums, so he questioned why they were confused. Turned out that most soldiers with broken bones took months to recover, some lucky that they could ever walk properly again. That was considered normal, and what damn luck he had on his side continually now, living and hobbling like a normal cripple, not a freak of Titan science. Except how everybody would gawk at how he was probably the last living casualty to survive a Titan's bite.

The vehicle hit a speed bump, sending a throb to his head. As if he wasn't already in worse shape than usual. He clenched his good hand on the seat, wincing. "Going to be holed up for two months. If my squa- the Alliance gets into deeper shit, I'll be the last one to hear about it."

Onyonkopon nodded. Good. Moving on from the topic of getting cut open. "Negotiations are rescheduled to begin next week. It's enough time to snuff out any further factions. It would be enough time for you and Mrs. Braun to figure out what to write. And maybe if you weren't so resistant to the use of the radio, you would not feel like you are going to be left behind."

"I told her we'd just keep it simple. She's worried about her son rejecting her. I don't think her siblings and their families are much better off. Tch, they still think they're living their old lives sometimes and can't trust themselves with a thought of their own. They can't keep walking on ice and sinking when they doubt."

Those eyes. Those same sad, downcast eyes. The regiment brats screaming, trying to pull their fallen friends from the boulders. The scattered debris all around them. His dream had turned into a nightmare. He had every right to doubt himself. He had no solid ground to justify himself. He was right about the lie, yet the truth was he wasn't a hero. What else could he have chosen for him, that devil?

And that day, just four years later. He was so close to those rocks. He could have fallen just centimeters at another angle, hitting his head just right, or his back. It would have been a fast route to join Paradis' fallen in hell or heaven. Or somewhere in between.

"You never fail to amaze me with your readings, Levi. Hasn't changed since we first got dropped onto Paradis." They turned into the Braun's neighborhood. "It's nice to see you have been helping the younger ones through this where their parents struggle to see through."

"I always end up getting their ears." He almost added the one Braun in particular, but held off. "But they need to learn to keep their own. I'm not the damn parent." He hoped he hadn't been too upsetting to Falco. He'd been close to falling to those rocks too, and now he was tortured with the weight of it all.

"A good change from keeping yourself hidden. Just remember to care for yourself too. We are only men, after all."

Levi looked at the dirty floor. Only a man. A decade of military service, and he couldn't stand receiving orders now. Onyonkopon wasn't wrong, but part of him wished he wasn't. And what about what the book said? Damn lucky if they were close to being right. Devotion to another person awakened by trauma? Then why was he so obsessed with keeping everything in order for anybody who wasn't Erwin too? That just had to be him. He would have shaken his head if he wasn't in pain. Tch, why was he second guessing everything?

"In my opinion, it would be a good idea to stay with the Braun's for some more time. They'll be happy to-" The vehicle stopped. "What happened here?" Onyonkopon asked, puzzled.

Levi looked up. They had stopped at the Braun's residence. Outside, the men were replacing the glass on a window. The women were scrubbing the door that had a red stain in the middle of it. In fact, on second look, several of the houses in the neighborhood had some damages done to windows, doors, and were helping neighbors clean up.

Onyonkopon opened the passenger door, handing Levi his crutch to replace his walking stick for the coming weeks to help reduce pressure. And he had just started liking to be able to walk short distances again this past year. He slowly stood, mindful of his head, then hobbling behind Onyonkopon.

"Levi, Onyonkopon…" Karina was the first to greet. "I'm sorry you had to come to this… mess."

"Some vandals went through our neighborhood last night during the curfew," Tina explained. "Threw a rock through the window. Painted our doors with blood. To expel us, the evil spirits." She glanced at them. Her brown eyes could have turned them to stone.

Onyonkopon came to a stop, placing his hands in his coat pocket. "It was the Church, wasn't it? There were no press reports about this happening either. Is this… why you didn't say anything earlier?" His confident stature faded.

"It was a group of kids about Gabi's age. Night patrol took the one from our house too quickly. Not that they'd let us know anything else. Would you know about the youth instruction in the Church regarding the Eldians?" Giuseppe's face furled. Martino motioned him to pay attention as to not drop the new glass pane.

"Stop that!" Karina barked. "Here, you both can come in." Levi caught her peering at him a second longer and frowning. Tch, what did she want him to do? Talk his way through this for them? Tina angrily pushed the rug with the bucket out of the way. Was she still mad about his conversations that opened a can of worms, writhing all slimy before them?

Theo was caged up in the living room, but he wagged his tail in excitement at the people who came over. No stick stealing for the mutt. It wasn't just the animal whose attention was on him.

"Mr. Levi, is that you?" A voice questioned cautiously.

Falco stepped out from behind the kitchen wall prudently, dressed casually but somehow looking much older than he had a few days ago. He shuffled his feet. Behind him, Gabi was attempting to feed her baby sister, who found it much more entertaining to hit her hands on the table and spread food on them than eat it. He could only wonder if their parents put them up to another burden for their sake. She grunted.

"Aunt Karina," she whined, "it's impossible. She won't eat it."

Karina sighed, shooing the two adolescents into the living room to handle Viola. Levi made himself comfortable in the armchair where he had kept his ass planted for some time before this. It was almost like his apartment chair at this point, it seemed. He wondered if he should bring it back when the apartment pipes were repaired. Onyonkopon stood at the back wall opposite the window. The Braun men outside ignored him and his observation.

"Mr. Levi, are you okay?" Falco repeated. As if the head bandages weren't an obvious enough clue for him. At least he was back to sweetly oblivious moments for the time being.

"Not well. You don't look dapper either. Surprised to see you out again so soon. Vandals freaked you too?"

"He rushed over here this morning to check on us with his parents. Some other Eldian neighborhoods got hit last night. He's watching Viola with me while everybody else cleans up," Gabi explained. "She doesn't understand anything, so she's happy and more fun to be around."

So they weren't training to become young parents either. They didn't have that to worry about. Yet.

"Mom and dad didn't want to leave me here, but I don't want to be useless. We need to fight back somehow. If that rock hit Gabi or Viola through the window and they got hurt," Falco clenched his fist, "I'd give them hell. Colt never let the stronger kids bully me for being a Grice for my uncle's crimes. I'm not going to let that happen here for us Eldians either."

"Falco, quiet!" Gabi hushed him. "Do you want anybody to think you're going to join an Eldian resistance group?"

"I didn't say that," he placed a hand on hers. "I just want to protect you." He realized Levi was looking at him. His cheeks turned red. He frowned. "It… it would help me. Maybe things won't be so bad if I did something. I was only lucky that day. I promise I'll do better this time."

Levi sighed. "Falco, don't. You're going to make yourself worse if you keep pushing yourself. You don't need to play the hero."

Falco scowled. "How can I get worse, Mr. Levi? I'm not crippled. At least I'm not on Paradis where I would have licked a gun because nobody could help me." He snorted. "They'll probably just fry my brain instead where they're taking me. And maybe they'll cut your leg off to make you better, or so they'll say."

"Falco, stop it!" Gabi cried. Falco's soft hazel eyes shimmered with derision, practically pleading for a comeback. He grimaced, breathing heavily, hot with anger, not all directed at Levi but something too great to comprehend.

Shit. Levi had dug himself into this one. Not the first time some brat threw his words back at him. His head throbbed. Was it a good idea to say anything?

The day he first picked his squad out of many candidates, they all took to him. Gunther and Eld were the most loyal, never questioning his choices. Petra observed his every move, always wanting to learn his techniques in training to improve her own. Oluo couldn't shut his mouth about being alongside "humanity's" strongest, much to Levi's annoyance. But they all admired him, never afraid to stand in line and salute next to him, dedicating their human hearts to the cause.

Then the next to take on the role of the squad filled their boots when they faded into the dust. Even younger than them, but ever so confident and unweary. That time around, he carried them through the cruel side of humanity, never truly stopping after the insurrection. The world was more than just Titans wandering mindlessly, which did not come easy to those who trained to fight the several meters tall variety rather than the ones in suits who wrote shitty laws to get rich. Words couldn't melt them into puddles, and blades and guns would just turn the symposiums into pools of blood.

And thus came the point where they could do nothing to give their microcosmic paradise true peace. He and Hange couldn't do a thing to change their fate. They'd been wrong about too much. Tch. Maybe violence was just part of it. And people he just couldn't fix. And it wasn't entirely worthless in the end. Others were better equipped now than him to deal with the inner workings of the population. He couldn't swoop in anymore. Maybe it was time to…

He said nothing. Absolutely damn nothing.

Gabi winced. Falco cocked his head in surprise. "Aren't you going to tell us anything?" he asked timidly. Poor brat was scared. Scared of him and everybody else. And what he just spoke.

"Falco, nobody is going to mess with your head," Onyonkopon stepped in, thankfully. "The sessions are going to be led by one of the Eldian survivors at Fort Salta who has been studying psychiatry. He's been working with many of the others who were there too. The administration is overseeing everything for your people's care. And nobody is going to be cutting off your comrade's leg either."

"I'm not a naive little boy anymore. Too many people have used me. My parents, the Marleyan government, Reiner… Eren. They're just going to make me an example of an amazing flying Titan boy for the world to see who's scared and pissed and belongs in an asylum. Almost like Eren."

Poor brat had delivered Eren's letters after gaining sympathy for him. Just another log on the fire of guilt burning inside him, the fuel to light the Rumbling.

Onyonkopon folded his hands. "Falco, if anybody tries to harm you, I will do something about it. I know what it is like to be misled by others who claim to have good intentions."

Falco sighed. "There'd better be good intentions out there, Mr. Onyonkopon. Because I haven't seen any lately." He stuffed his hands into his pocket and stepped outside, the women warning him to not step in a wet spot. Had they been ignoring everything he rambled about?

Gabi wordlessly reached for him before turning to Levi. She rested her palm on her forehead. She looked exhausted. "First a book, then the birds, Falco's upset, and I don't want to even ask about what you've been talking about with my aunt. My whole family thinks this is getting weird."

What the hell? Gone one night, and she knew about that? Gabi trotted after Falco. One of the women shut the outside door, grumbling something.

Tch, fantastic job helping the brats he'd done. Even the hospital atmosphere was less awkward than here. And he didn't have to say anything to anybody and make things worse.

Onyonkopon sat down and dug in his breast pocket. He fished out a bracelet-like item with glass beads, each one a different color. He explained once it was a prayer circle, used to invoke the many spirits of this world.

"One day, all the spirits will balance and stop their fighting. All pain, all anger, all misunderstanding. But that day is still far off. Will any of us live to see it?" Levi tried to think of a response, but then he realized this was a prayer. Onyonkopon concluded, "O Creator, deliver us. May all spirits stand together." He bowed his head in silence.

Nobody had been delivered even after the curse was lifted. One little girl's world was lifted. Just a small speck of real humanity saved from a sickening fate. Tch. At least a prayer was pretty to listen to.

Or maybe that was good enough that her prayer was answered. Just for one person. Just to let one thing go at a time.

Karina entered with Viola squirming in her arms. She set her on the floor with her rubber ring, to which the slobbery brat started chewing.

"Before you ask, I did hear everything the children said. They are allowed to say anything they wish to us for the time being. Don't worry about us getting upset. We deserve it and need it. Although I should have been more clear for them to not talk to you both like that. And as for the rest of my family, yes, they know what we've been talking about."

Tch, was that why he'd received judgemental glares when he got here? "And?"

"My brothers think it's just their sister causing more trouble. Though Giuseppe does want you here to help explain things when you can. At least Tina has warmed to it for Gabi's sake. Gabi doesn't know who to side with- very confused but inquisitive. But she still loved her cousin after she found out the truth of his blood…." she trailed off. "I am so sorry you've had to come to this."

"You spoke for yourself, didn't you? Didn't even need me to scare the shit out of everyone and put them straight."

She smiled slightly. "Yes. It felt like going outside the zone walls again for the first time. But… this time, it truly meant something." She looked down to Viola, as if she was trying to forget something. "You just have to look beyond more than two sides of a wall."

"Well done. You probably won't even need me much in a few weeks anymore. Nobody's going to be prancing in the streets happy, but there's something to get out."

Her lips tightened uncomfortably. "I suppose you do need the rest. If you get any worse, then they'll start blaming me for your condition."

"Why should they? Just me being a stubborn asshole as usual." He crossed his good leg gently. "Look, you should know this by now. I'm not a great man. I have nothing that makes me any different from anybody else. We have our letters to write- we'll get them done soon. Then, I need to rest. It's time for others to take up the mantle. I can't save us all from the world's evil spirits or other things creeping around. I trusted some military brat to lead us. There's more people from other sides of the walls who'll take good care of things."

He was damn tired for sure, but he wasn't going to let his promise break. Much simpler than the first vow to give meaning. As for everything else, his dear friend that Levi swore opened a shut eye while praying could do things for them all. And the woman in front of him had grown much in his short absence. There had to be hope for her son and the other brats here.

"Yes, of course. It's easy to forget that those with good intentions are with us. It was just frightening that Mr. Finger had that terrible experience with that nurse and then you were kept there the other night and… what exactly are they going to do to treat your pain?"

Levi's chest tightened. Maybe they'll cut your leg off to make you better, Falco's voice echoed. No, how childish. He wasn't going to let an upset adolescent's mockery get to him.

"Surgery. Again. Must be the fourth one for it. Three weeks from now." He braced himself for the pitiful glare.

"Oh dear. Here, I'll get some tea for you." Karina swiftly turned to the kitchen. A ray of sunshine shimmered through the new glass window, lighting up her blonde hair tinted with shades of gray. She sure had learned how to soothe him and his emotions.

Viola rolled her way over to Theo's cage, poking her little hands through the bars. She squealed, pushing herself to see the mutt. She whacked her ring, exciting him. Tch, he probably just wanted her ring to slobber on for himself. In another life, he would have been sicced on a little Eldian girl for curiosity.

"There's been a lot of action even with you out of the picture." Onyonkopon spoke softly. He tucked his prayer beads into his pocket. "Everywhere."

Levi jumped in his seat."Weren't you praying?" Did he have to listen in on his conversations with Karina? Tch, why was he getting annoyed about it?

"I was, but no creation is perfect until the Creator is done molding." He blushed slightly. "You seem rather comfortable here. Would you prefer to stay here until your surgery?"

"Should probably remain isolated for a while. Getting sick from being with too many people will set it back. Haven't always had that luxury. But if you're that concerned you can drop by and check on me. Not like I can go anywhere."

"Alright. You do better in company."

Karina returned with the tea for Levi. "Here. We can figure out what we'll do for you when the time comes. Oh, I'm so sorry," she said to Onyonkopon, "I forgot one for you. I'm not thinking very well today." She rushed back to the kettle.

Come to think of it, he had another request. "I do have one favor to ask," Levi faced Onyonkopon, unable to believe he was about to do this. "Please bring whatever tea if you're going to keep buying it for me that the Braun's have. Never really liked the one you've bought but didn't want to sound like some whiny brat."

Onyonkopon looked perplexed then laughed. "Alright then. All these years we've known each other, and since coming here, you're finally going to be an honest man-"

And Karina returned at the worst time, confused.

"About the tea, the tea," he rushed his answer. Levi picked up his cup as quickly as he could to sip it.

"It's good. Very good." He thought he caught a smile on Karina's face.

…

By that afternoon, a day of rest from the hospital and talking through what happened the other night helped lift Levi's mood. Before Onyonkopon had to leave for work, they all listened to the news on the radio. No new terrorist attacks had happened on Paradis. Yet there was nothing on the local news section about the ongoing vandalism and violence toward Eldians.

And by a stroke of fortune, Levi got news that the apartment pipe system had been repaired and he could return home. Karina insisted he could stay longer if needed, and even the other adults were nice enough to nod, but he needed his kids helped pack his things, including the Ackerman clan book which he dare not mention in the presence of the rest of the Braun family that day. He knew now to keep all windows shut and to conceal it in a drawer, lest another deranged bird try to sneak inside. Were the animals just as bold on Paradis now?

His head hurt too much to let him concentrate on reading, so he stuck to taking a warm bath to soothe his aching body. He hated taking medication for the pain.

He ran his hand down his bad leg. Thick, angry red marks covered it. He couldn't tell which had come from a Titan and which from a scalpel. Most on his torso came from the latter. Another one to add to the collection soon.

He didn't know if any of the neighbors had heard him return, but he could hear some of them talking, once shouting for a bit. Maybe it was a prayer or incantation of sorts. Yet his room felt quieter than before without others in here.

The warmth of the water made him relax. He resisted closing his eyes. If Onyonkopon came up to check on him and found him here, he'd drag him out of the apartment.

He reached for his towel, gripping the edge of the bathtub and slowly rising. He looked into the mirror. Damn, he needed to shave soon. He was looking more his age now. He would have been about forty now, not that he or Kenny could figure out his exact year of birth. But more important matters than his age prevailed.

Maybe the Church would try to excuse or encourage more violence against Eldians. Maybe the Eldians here would strike back. Maybe the Alliance would have their heads shot off. He couldn't tell anymore who would be getting out in one piece.

His hospital roommate's wheezing echoed. He wasn't sure if he was going to be in one piece much longer.