The Other Side of the Sea

Deep into the night, something rattled the boards on the windows. Maybe it was the wind, maybe it was a hungry animal or angry vandal wishing rage upon them. Nevertheless, Karina didn't care or fret. She was awake and unable to fall back asleep despite knowing Reiner was safe and asleep in the next room over. If he was going to lay in misery, she was going to suffer through this with him this time.

She stood up and quietly stepped without waking her brother's family to Viola's crib where the baby slept. Her teeth weren't bothering her much anymore. Instead, she slept peacefully with her little hand by her mouth. She twitched and turned, probably in the middle of a dream. She hadn't reached the age where a nightmare could perturb her. Karina didn't want to wake her, so she left her to enjoy her fleeting moments of innocence.

It was a miracle she had been able to see her own child that night again. But there was no innocence left in him. It was a horrible painless form of sadness that could only be reached in a dark closet they were stuck in without warming light. She would have to fumble around to create one because it was all part of their deal.

It made her feel awful that Levi had to cover for her when Reiner arrived. How did he keep so level headed when having to shoulder so much emotion? And this was her own son. She was just as bad as the rest of the family when it came to reuniting with him. Nothing of use to say but awkward shuffling and hoping that the other person would speak up.

And it was him who insisted before departing that she see to him as somber as it was, waiting outside the room before Onyankopon took him home. She wished she could go back to their moment on the sofa and just feel the way they did, fearless and connected. But time could never go backwards. It could only go forward, and she had to bear it.

They couldn't share this connection again when he left. There were much more dire issues at hand. Gabi was made to formally apologize to Falco for her actions. She was not allowed to go anywhere regardless of curfew for the next few weeks. Her parents were understandably upset with her, but they decided to let her stay home until she felt less angry. Falco begged them to not be too harsh on her before he was driven home with his little thread that stayed unharmed in this whole ordeal. She wondered if he was going to create more knots or undue some. It was in his hands to decide.

At the foot of her bed, Karina kicked the briefcase that Levi had left behind with all of their writings on their findings. She pushed it back farther. She didn't need anything prying at their project or her brother crossing a line and nagging her at a time like this, ripping their only source of connection apart when they needed each other the most for their children's sake: their shared suffering which they tried to blame on another person or government or island devil which always ended in failure.

She wished she could light a lantern to browse over the crisp pages to fall deep into the possible truth about Eldians and Ymir Fritz. It wasn't propaganda or holy text. It was about a human girl. The poor girl. The abused, misused, and accused girl. She loved her King. She loved her kingdom. She loved her children.

Or so she thought. Did Ymir feel anything for her children as she let them suffer?

Liberio Internment Zone- Months Following the Mission

There was much ado in the Braun household, as celebrations like this hadn't been seen since Marley's Warrior Unit left for that wretched devil's paradise. One returning alive was better than none returning at all. Why did they have to feel terrible when it was their own who was the one survivor who returned home alive? For a period, Reiner had to be questioned on what exactly happened that caused their failure to capture the Founder, but since he returned on that boat, this was the first time the family would get to see him personally since he was twelve years old.

Oh, how he had grown. He had some more of his Marleyan father's features, which was a disappointment, but he was a man now. More of a man than he ever was. He bravely stepped foot on that place and came back alive, and he still had much service to provide. The newspapers clamored about how those devils were stronger than anticipated. The Mideast Alliance had declared war because of this failure, but Marley would not be one to cower in a corner. After all, these were just people asking for a fight. Reiner would be deployed soon, so this was their only chance to catch up with him.

The whole family sat in the living room, kind enough to leave him space to get through. Karina had lectured everybody to not ask him questions about his time on the island- no reason to think of that. A military personnel had visited beforehand and advised her to avoid such topics.

Reiner entered, dressed in his full military uniform. He recently turned eighteen, but he looked much older than that. Thankfully, the military had provided him with new civilian clothing as well. Karina had not even gone through his old clothing he wore as a little boy. Not that she would ever get rid of it. After his time was up, she would have something of his to look back on to make this all worth it.

"Welcome back, nephew!" Giuseppe was the first to congratulate him. "You have brought honor upon our family for your service."

Reiner said nothing. He was always such a meek little boy. Karina was glad he hadn't lost that.

"When we got word that only one of your unit survived, we feared the worst. But we're so happy you are the one who lived." Tina concurred.

Gabi was bouncing up and down in her mother's gentle restraint. Martino was happy to see him, but he was a little more shy, being content to observe and be sure that this was his older cousin he last saw when he was only a boy.

"We are so proud of what you've done." Karina said. She couldn't stop grinning. If only her mother and father had lived to see this.

"Thanks. We've delayed an assault from the island for now, but we've got a lot of work to do. The Mideast Alliance is targeting major ports in Marleyan territory, but that's not going to stop any strikes against Marley from other nations. They're going to keep me to defend the mainland for now and leave the naval warfare to Zeke and Pieck."

He had really become a man, hadn't he? Nothing but work on his mind.

"Well, come have a seat for now and rest." Karina motioned to him. He seemed happy to join her on the couch. Benefits from the state had helped the family get some more furniture that they would otherwise not be able to afford on their budget.

Gabi had turned to her mother. "Please? Come on, I'm tired of waiting to surprise him!"

"I don't know. Can't you wait until after dinner?"

"No!"

What a little dear. She was so eager to share what she had obtained. Why couldn't her sister-in-law indulge her a little? Gabi was such a good girl, and her instructors were constantly sending home notes of how promising she was.

"Oh, let her," Karina insisted. "Reiner, Gabi has something to show you."

"Yay! Thank you, Aunt Karina!" Gabi dashed away and ran to her bedroom. Reiner sensed something was going on. He seemed amused that the little girl who hadn't seen him since she was a toddler was so enthusiastic to greet him. He didn't look anything like the one official military photograph anymore.

"Gabi hasn't changed much since she was little."

"She sure hasn't. She's as spirited as ever. She knows a lot about you and where you were all these years."

He nodded. "When your cousin is the Armored Titan, I guess you can't be anything but excited."

Gabi's door opened. "I'm coming!" She yelled. There was no reason to scold her to act like a good Eldian because Karina shared the same excitement as her and her brothers and their families as she made a mad dash to the living room and slid to a stop in front of Reiner. She had switched out of her dress into a white training uniform.

"Look at me! I'm going to become a Warrior and be just like you!"

Reiner sat at full attention and gazed down at her. He was certainly surprised. He took a moment to collect himself. "So, you are."

"I am! I'm already ranked as one of the top ten in my class! I'm training extra hard so that when we go on the next mission, I'm going to wipe out all the devils you didn't kill!" She boasted and stood with her hands on her hips..

"Hey, don't push it now, dear," Tina scolded. But she was still beaming with pride at her daughter. The others chuckled.

"Well he didn't. But he brought one of the Titans back, and tomorrow in class they're going to introduce us to the new Jaw Titan! I heard it's Porco Galliard. If brothers can be Titans together, cousins can too!"

Reiner lifted Gabi onto his lap. Gabi blushed and giggled. How endearing. It was a joy to see her finally getting to know her hero and receiving his blessing.

"I'm sure you can." Gabi hugged him tightly. Something was making Reiner look uncomfortable. Poor thing was probably tired from having to sit through so many briefings and trials for hours on end as they interrogated him for why the mission went wrong. It wasn't truly a failure. It was just more difficult than anticipated. Damn devils. Karina pulled Gabi from him.

"Alright, I think he's rather tired. Go get changed so you don't soil your uniform." Gabi went obediently to change.

"Are you alright? I hope this wasn't too much to take in. As soon as Gabi heard you were coming home, she begged her instructors to keep this a secret. She wants to talk about so much with you and how to be the best Warrior."

Reiner nodded. "That doesn't surprise me. You doing good, Martino? Anything happen to you while I was gone I should know about?"

His cousin shook his head.

"Good. Looks like I'll have lots of work to do with Gabi between wars."

If Ymir did feel anything for her children, she probably didn't feel real love for them. Only for that evil king lording over her at the back of her mind and her heart.

…

"Here, Gabi. You can bring Reiner some water." Karina filled a pitcher in the kitchen and handed it off to Gabi, who was finishing freshening herself for the morning. She was pacing around brushing her hair out.

"One minute. How does my part look?"

"It's completely uneven. Go to the bathroom and redo it."

Gabi rolled her eyes. "Well, I think it looks great."

If she had slept better, Karina would have scolded her. But there were greater things to be concerned about than messy hair. It wasn't as if Gabi was going to enter sacred ground to perform a rite toward the ancient goddess. All she was going to do was help a loved one.

"Just don't take too long when you go in," Tina warned her daughter as she successfully got Viola to eat a mashed fruit.

"I won't, Mom."

Gabi gave up on brushing her hair and balanced the pitcher in her hands to not slosh any water on the floor. She passed her Aunt Sigrid who was on the way to help a neighbor with something. She wordlessly acknowledged her niece for her kindness and swiftly left. Karina trusted her sister-in-law would keep quiet about Reiner being back.

Tina sighed. "Are you sure it's safe to have Reiner here?"

"Of course it is. He had a creature in him that made him a living weapon before, and our home still stood. Do you think he's capable of doing anything as dangerous as that now?"

It was only Karina and Gabi who had no fear in entering the room as if they were a high priestess and a temple virgin well versed in a holy rite in tending to the relics of the past. The others feared that they would invoke wrath and punishment for going near him. Did they think that he could do anything to them in his condition?

"No, no. That's not what I meant. I can't bear the thought of him doing things that could upset Gabi."

"I don't think he would do that."

"We didn't know what was going through his head all these years and these past months."

Karina's grip on a plate tightened. Was she trying to shame her for the same ignorance she had? Then without thinking, she retorted, "Neither did we know about Ymir Fritz-"

"Karina, please. Don't bring this up right now."

She grunted. "You're her daughter too. Maybe if you would consider that, you could have some peace of mind. You can complain all you like, but it's the truth."

"Fine, but you don't need to make her your goddess." Tina huffed. "She was just a young girl who thought a man loved her and… oh." Understanding dawned upon her, or maybe she was ashamed that Karina was scowling at her. "I see."

Karina set down the dish to not have it crumble in her hands. Her body relaxed. "She might be the only way for me to make sense of the world. None of us really know what she thought. If she could be remembered for who she was, maybe another child could be spared from the same pain."

Viola screeched and knocked a spoon down. Her mother held her.

"There's only so much we can do making guesses about Ymir Fritz. I think Reiner will find more help in seeing that he's committed at least part time."

Oh, how Gabi's parents were tied like turnip roots in their thinking. Always the rationalist ones with reason. Not that they were wrong. But she wanted him here, in her reach. She had to be the one to make this right. Karina was going to think of a reply, but she was interrupted by two abrupt yelps in the direction of Reiner's bedroom from Gabi followed by an exasperated "Gabi!".

Karina dashed off to see just what happened, exciting the dog in the process who bounded after her. She was greeted by a sight that was almost comical to her if the mood wasn't so dour. Gabi was still holding the pitcher, but the contents had made their way to Reiner who was sitting up and soaking wet. The poor girl was flustered when she realized everyone heard this. She didn't know who to turn to first.

"Gabi, what did you do that for?" Karina scolded.

"I didn't mean to! I just tripped over the rug and slipped!" She shouted. "I'm sorry I was just trying to help!" Gabi stormed out of the room but Karina caught her. She struggled against her but gave up. The rug on the floor looked just fine. Reiner did not.

"Gabi, you didn't trip. Tell me what happened."

"There's a letter. I thought it was… it was…. I was scared it was…." Gabi couldn't finish her sentence. Karina didn't need her to complete it to understand why she was mortified. On the nightstand there was a folded letter. When had he written that? Was it last night when she entered to see him? Why hadn't she noticed it?

"Reiner? Did you-"

"Damn it," Reiner was muttering as he used the blanket to dry himself. "Gabi, I'm so sorry. This is my fault." He sighed and sat up, rubbing his face. She wasn't going to let him hide anything in his condition.

"Why is-"

"It was private business. Was going to take care of it but I was too tired and forgot about it."

"Dear, don't be so coy. Is this something classified? We can get it to Onyankopon and-"

"No."

"Then what is it?"

"Here," he chucked it at them. Gabi caught it. "It's something that's for Levi from Mikasa. You remember her? Gabi can give it to him whenever she sees him next." Karina felt an empty hollow grow in her chest. She wanted to embrace him, make him shed this gross melancholy clinging to him that drove him to despair. But she felt like she would be a horrible life-sucking parasite who would make this worse. He'd flick her off for the pest she was. He was so weak last night, yet now he looked almost intimidating as he snapped at her. She sighed.

"We will do that. Come on, Gabi."

"No, it's fine. Gabi can stay here. I wanted to talk to her."

Gabi inched closer to Karina. Fear filled her eyes. "I'll just leave you alone. Talking to Falco doesn't help him either." Her voice cracked.

"No. Come here. I'm not mad at you."

"You better not be lying again."

"I'm not," annoyance tainted his low voice. "I just want to talk to you for a few minutes. Here, give that letter to my mom. Don't want you being so nosy about adult business."

Gabi glanced at Karina and handed off the letter as if she were passing her a cursed item. Karina smoothed it out at the creases. She couldn't believe that her son would entrust her to guard private communications given his attitude. But given he wanted to prove he was telling the truth, she would accept any sign as long as his reluctance to talk to her lasted.

"Alright. I'll leave you two to talk." Karina turned without another word. She didn't want to look her son in the face. It was enough to cause her to tremble. She gingerly closed the door to a crack. She shoved the dog to move away.

"Is everything alright?" Her sister-in-law asked from the kitchen.

What kind of answer did she want to share? "They're alive." She didn't want to draw any further attention to this message by another girl who kept coming into their lives. She strided to the bedroom and felt for the briefcase under the bed. It was the perfect place to put it. The ones who began and ended the Titan curse reunited.

If only she was strong enough to break the curse here. All she could do was stand by while everyone else made the sacrifices for her. Maybe that's just who she was. She simply couldn't do it without him at her side. Another Ackerman. Why couldn't he be here to say something? She felt like such an idiot.

"Karina?"

Tina's voice startled her. She had managed to push the briefcase out of view in time.

"Good heavens! Don't do that!"

"What happened in there?"

"Oh. Gabi tripped and spilled the pitcher and woke Reiner up. He wanted to talk to her. Gabi may be our best way of checking on him for the time being."

"She's still only a girl, Karina."

"Reiner asked for her."

"How lovely. Using the children to do all the talking."

"I didn't mean that! I meant…." Hadn't she just sent her in there initially to quench his thirst? But she had known he was like a wounded animal that could have lashed out in his vulnerable state. What had she meant by sending the girl torn between so many people into a perilous place because her aunt was such a coward to check on her own son?

"Karina?"

Karina sat on the bed. She moaned softly. The room wasn't a dark closet but it felt so dim and neutral. Her mind felt numb. She didn't have the energy to shed tears or talk back to her sister-in-law. This time, there was no excuse for this because of the island or Esereso or Marley. She couldn't blame anybody but herself for shutting herself in here and ignoring the children as they executed her will.

Timothy. The Marleyan man. That man who claimed he loved her. The man whose seed she stole and made her own devil child. The man who abandoned them after using her until she was no good to him any longer. She had outlived him and let him go as he was crushed underfoot years ago. She had finally chosen her child over him and all he was supposed to be once before. She had to do it again no matter the cost.

"I'm sorry. You are right. We're not going to use the children to relay messages."

Tina nodded. "I forgive you. Just the old ways seeping in, right?"

"We just need a way to talk to Reiner. He'll think I have gone mad. He's scared of talking to us too."

"I know. I hate to say this, but Gabi… I think she needs to see the psychiatrist as well. Giuseppe and I spoke last night. She's seen and done the same things as Reiner. She's so much like him and… we're scared. She could make a huge mistake." Tina joined Karina on the bed. "We want to get out of this wild forest too. Our little girl shouldn't have to be like Ymir Fritz. Lost and afraid with nobody to turn to."

That name. She said that name without disgust or disdain. Karina smiled slightly. Yet she knew better than to boast. "We will."

…

Meanwhile on Paradis- The Woman Whose Eyes Opened Another's

The tree's shade provided good cover from the spring sunshine and the rainstorms that moistened the soil. She could only hope that this would help prevent the headstone from eroding for a long time.

Only a few people knew who was buried here. If anybody else saw the etched text on the grave, they would assume it was a sad marker for a victim lost in Marley's strike against the island buried without a known living relative to claim the remains.

Mikasa adjusted her scarf on her neck. Her finger slipped through a small opening. She grunted. She was consistent as ever in maintaining her form, but something from her had gone out like a candle in a breeze on that horrible day. Her agility and response time would be graded points down from her training days if that old system still existed. A Jaegerist had probably nicked her before she took him down. She shook her head, knowing to not berate herself. She'd stitch it later. The last of the rogue faction had been snuffed out from her last communications with Historia. The anticipated negotiations would continue as planned minus one.

She hoped Reiner had gotten back safely to the mainland and was with his family. After that day, so few could afford to take their living relatives for granted. One moment all could be normal, and the next… you'd be brandishing a knife in your hands if you didn't want to end up cold and lifeless on the floor or sold off for the gratification of sick, sick old dogs.

The spring breeze rustled the leaves on the tree. She closed her eyes in a moment of repose. To be sleeping peacefully was all she prayed, that somehow he could be seeing his wish come true. She wanted him back. She wanted the boy who saved her back, not the man he became. Who knew if they would ever see each other again? She rubbed her forehead. She hadn't gotten any more nasty headaches for three years. That meant Ymir was surely at peace.

Yet Ymir's children did not. The ones born and ones in generations whose existence was at stake, and it may as well have been in her hands if these negotiations failed. Mikasa held her bandaged wrist. If the Azumabito clan ceased to exist with her, who would be around to mourn her when she departed? She wasn't going to seek love from an offership of a suitor sought by Kiyomi after recovery efforts began in Hizuru's remnants the other year- Kiyomi would turn over every fallen building and tree for the smallest coin even in the face of disaster. It was sickening.

Mikasa sighed. She didn't want to be embraced by death. She wanted to be alive. She didn't want to be forgotten to time even without being credited as the one who ended the Rumbling. Armin had to be the one to take up that burden. He'd grown so confident and eloquent in this time apart from her. He had been the one who stayed behind and helped to take care of everyone when she had left them. Including Captain Levi.

That cranky shortie. When they had briefly visited after she slaughtered some Jaegerists, Armin and she had a quick moment to recount how everyone was doing. He reported that while he had certainly survived thanks to great interventions, he was permanently disfigured. That day was blurred and rife with emotion, yet she recalled that he had used all his strength to guide them to final victory despite his already brutalized body. His mental fortitude may as well have been what saved them as it had many times prior.

Yet she had abandoned the rest of her comrades to bury Eren. For weeks as she traversed the wastelands, she could only assume that they all survived. She wasn't going to lose anybody else beloved, was she? When she was finally located and recovered, it was only then she learned from a brief letter from a Marleyan official to the Azumabito's that he had been critically wounded. His strength too had been blown out like a candle. His only source of survival around him was other people. He couldn't rely on his own strength anymore.

She too had to rely on people to keep her safe. The Azumabito. Historia. But what if… something happened to them? Who would she turn to? It wasn't as if she was certain her old comrades would be able to return to the island either. Why had she not been in further contact with her only living clan member? The thought creeped into her mind. Had he not survived, she would be the only Ackerman left alive too. If both her people were to continue to survive, it was all on her.

What would he say of her for leaving them? They had all managed to get by with their statuses, but… was she all he had left for family too? They had never delved further into their clan's complex history or had a moment to pass on deep rooted wisdom or heritage that was already hanging by a thread.

If she didn't want to fade into nothingness, a missing footnote, she had to act now. The others needed her. It was time to leave. Her beloved wasn't going anywhere. She knelt over and touched the soil.

"Goodbye, Eren. Our friends and my family need me."

It was so selfish of her, but she prayed that her letter would get to him safely.