Paradis' Strongest Soldier
Well, shit. He'd brought this on himself.
Levi's first thoughts were not on how he was sandwiched between Reiner and Martino, two otherwise fine young men from the Braun family, and just how much this was going to hurt him later but just how the hell he was going to justify this to everybody staring in his direction and Reiner's.
"Well, I told him Levi was here," Gabi explained in her defense. "I didn't know this would happen."
He hadn't wanted to awaken Reiner to such a start. Yet when he entered the room, he looked so weak and tired in bed that he almost took back his harshness he had spoken of his family being so careless to let him rot in here in such a sickly state. He was sound asleep and bundled up in a prone position. He didn't know how he could handle his cousin snoring in his drunken slumber like a growling animal meters away. But if he never woke up, he'd never live to see another day.
He had extended his hand to touch him, but he winced. It was painful to lean over, which easily threw him off balance. And maybe putting his bad hand on him was a horrible idea. Karina certainly didn't mind it, but that was different. Then a thought crept into his head. A gross one that took root and couldn't be pulled out.
He had touched his mother in numerous ways. They were no longer mere odd acquaintances brought together out of pity and survival. They had become closer to family.
It was hard enough for his own beloved mother to have to explain to him, a little boy, that the men who had come into their little brothel room were not there to stay with them long because they just wanted to see her and give her some money so they could eat that night. It was simply normal business to a boy who couldn't think about much except what to eat other than some molding bread, only for him to realize in older age how unfair this was despite her undignified sacrifice in the eyes of the world.
This wasn't quite the same thing, but something about it felt too damn bizarre to think about- showing up as if he was expected to be here for something he wanted out of them and some judgemental comments behind his back. They were both adults- maybe fifteen years apart, perhaps a couple of years more on Levi's end. This was Reiner's goddamn mother between them. Nothing could get in the way of a boy's or young man's only mother no matter how strained they were. Then, it dawned on him. If they were unofficially family, did this make him Reiner's…?
Get a hold of yourself, damn it, he scolded himself softly and fisted his bad hand. He couldn't let this awkwardness of the whole situation distract him from Reiner, regardless of just how their relationship could be classified. Not as if he was going to tell him about it. They were all Ymir's children anyway. He was helping him as a fellow child entangled in knotty roots.
Withholding his hand from him, Levi took his crutch and gently prodded him near the neck. "Come on, wake up. You've survived me before. Get up, fellow bastard."
And in a flash, it was as if he had unleashed the rage of the boy who sought freedom from the cruel world around him while not willing to give up his very life to the claws of the enemy..
"Shi-" His crutch fell to the floor with a smash.
He was slammed and pinned on top of Martino who cried out some expletives Levi had never considered before- maybe from some group of foreign refugees on a job site- and squirmed in his alcohol-tainted haziness, although Levi was more focused on trying to push the freaked Reiner off of him, especially around his neck. His body didn't have the time to register the pressure near his bad leg.
He'd learned to tackle opponents who had the size advantage over him before, even before his strength had awakened. Yet in his state, it was a great drain, and he didn't know if he'd be able to hold on for his own sake.
"What are you doing! Reiner! Get off of them! Reiner!"
And with that, the wave of pain came over him, even as Reiner slowly backed off of him. It was quickly evident that more than one person wanted an explanation as fingers were about to be pointed. Reiner was sitting on the end of the bed frazzled and ruffled, unsure of where to look.
"Shit. Shit. Shit," he muttered as he rubbed his temples. "What the hell…. What happened?"
"Here, Gabi, help Mr. Ackerman up," Karina ordered as Levi hastily pulled himself up, gripping the loosened bedsheets, making it halfway before the girl had to help him into a sitting position and handing him his crutch for upper support. Sure, beds were softer than the floor, but not while being body slammed against it and another victim. Martino squirmed out of the twisted bedsheets around his gangly legs and hit the floor with a roll. He was equally as bewildered as Reiner but more pissed off at the rude awakening, directing his scowl between the two seated on the bed.
"I'm so sorry! I thought you heard me!" Gabi pleaded an apology to Reiner. "You didn't mean to do that, did you?"
"I don't… think so? I thought… I was getting stabbed. Had to fight back."
"What? Were you having another weird dream? Why would Levi do that?"
Oh, fuck. It felt like a mixture of mud and shit had been poured on him. It really was his fault. Tch, clumsy mistake, and all for his own pride.
"No, he wouldn't without reason. Mom? Are you just going to stand there or help the village drunkard off the floor?" He didn't look at her, just at the wall ahead.
Karina approached him. "Dear, I'm so sorry, I didn't-"
"I'm sure you didn't. These two can explain what's going on for you."
Karina's face sank. Bitter sarcasm and addictive wine had the same after-effect. Perhaps this is why she was afraid to do this alone. She helped her nephew up as he muttered a complaint about being too early for this to happen. He held his head which had been jostled about when he was trapped and wobbled out of the room after snatching his robe.
"Alright," she replied above a whisper. "We'll be out here." Levi eyed her and nodded slightly. It was the only reassurance he could give her. The floor was speckled with dirt from the garden that she tracked in. Gross, he'd have to clean that up too. After he explained himself, that was. Gabi sat by Reiner's side.
"Everyone's okay. I should have made sure you were awake. I wasn't sure how you were going to react to Levi coming in here and-"
"Stop blaming yourself, Gabi. My mom put you up to this. She can't stand to see me like this, I know." He turned to Levi. "Was she using you too?" How did this young man look so damn weary after getting so much sleep? Then again, he was one to talk. All he really wanted was some clear answers. Or as clear as he would get. Nothing wrong with a smidge of dust here and there.
"Reiner, I was over here to thank your mother for keeping the letter from Mikasa you brought back. She's the only one of my clan left. I never ask for favors, and she wasn't about to use this as a bargaining chip to screw with the two of us."
"That so?"
"I wasn't playing a sick joke on you either. Didn't want you to stay stuck in here until you turned to bones. Your mother didn't want to make things worse either. I didn't want to touch you because… you've probably had too many hands on you recently. Who knows what they'd touched before?"
"Right." His face was blank.
"Oh, Reiner, your bandage is coming off," Gabi said. "Want me to get some new gauze?"
"Would you?" Reiner nudged her to leave. That left the two of them alone. The bandages unfurled, showing a rather thick and angry red line with stitches puckered tightly. He briefly admired it. "They did a good job stopping the bleeding, didn't they?" He remarked toward the empty space in front of him. "With the Titan, it wasn't a big deal. You'd always come back. You had to."
"And 'they' made you come back this time around."
"They did. No one would have cared if I was some lice-ridden refugee living in a bloody rain soaked tent. Thanks to some fucking worm and some wretched woman, I'm still here. And they're dead."
Some wretched woman.
Without fully turning his head, Levi tried to get a peak at Reiner's exposed arms. None of the scars from when Marley ran a full scale bleeding test to ensure his transformation ability had ceased looked fresh or reopened. It wasn't enough to prevent Reiner from noticing. "First real try after the Armored, if you're wondering."
"I see." Levi's leg started to ache again. "What's your next plan?"
Reiner stroked his wound. "I don't have one. You got anything?"
"Tch, not letting you die on our- your family. But that's about it. None of us can live your life for you. But as long as your heart's beating blood, you're going to have to make some choices. For starters, you can get your ass up, or we can get Onyankopon in contact with some people to drag you out of here kicking and screaming to never see your family until they rearrange your brain."
Reiner sat quiet. "Sounds fun. Gabi would be doing the kicking and screaming though. One time when she was a toddler, she pushed Martino and one of his friends down the stairs when they took her stuffed bear. We really don't need the Eseresoan government to question our status as upstanding good Eldians if she decides to use a slingshot as a sniper on an asylum worker."
"She does love you."
Gracefully, Gabi dashed back in. She nearly dropped a small pair of scissors. "Here. Got some more ointment too. What if you get an infection and the doctors used that as an excuse to institutionalize you?" She looked at the scissors and threw them aside. "Or maybe I should help you. I think I still remember how to do stitches if you need more too."
"Thanks. Can you bring that to the kitchen table instead? Tell my mom she's getting what she wants."
Her eyes lit up. "You're getting out of bed? That's great! Everyone will be so happy! I don't know what Levi did, but you're going to get better! I know it!" She practically slid out of the bedroom and almost collided with the hallway wall as she announced glad tidings.
Reiner slowly stood up. Despite his unkempt state, something about his figure was intimidating, even worse than when he had tackled Levi in a half-awake delirium. He slipped his hands through his hair. "You getting up? Martino hates it enough when Gabi uses his bed as a chair to visit."
"Yeah… in a moment." His thigh contracted and pulsed. He closed his eyes and tried not to concentrate on it. He didn't have some beastly worm or its derivative from some Titan science strengthening him anymore either. But he fulfilled a promise to the one he had grown to love. Maybe Reiner was just playing along to get him out of his hair- he was damn analytical- but it wasn't as if he could control his spirit. Only he could. Those good spirits and bad spirits of the Creator would have to fight over him too, if that's what Its Will was.
"Well, thanks enough for caring. My mom's got something up her sleeve though. I can tell you that. Gabi's spoken to me about some stories she's been telling her. Ymir Fritz and our family in some great Great Titan War story?" He snorted and grabbed a light wool blanket off his own bed. "Marley erased so much Eldian history, maybe only some lucky bastard centenarian who wasn't left behind would remember anything pre-War. And it doesn't take the most powerful to come up with some great story to make us look better or get what we want."
It took incredible restraint for Levi to not grasp his crutch until it turned to splinters. "No."
Reiner raised an eyebrow.
"No, it doesn't." He couldn't explain this shit. Not now.
"It's Gabi's sake I'm getting up for. She'll fall into another trap." He let the blanket fall over his shoulders. A erstwhile great Warrior standing without victory. "Hell, you're pale. Here." He offered his arm and helped Levi up. He accepted it, but cautiously. Who knew if touching him the wrong way would remind him of amputation by the blade?
"I'll try not to freak you out anymore, okay?"
"Forget about it. I'm going to become senile in a matter of time and do the same. Besides, I trust you more than my own family. Come on, or Gabi's going to give my mom false hope."
Reiner looked much calmer. He exited the little cell he locked himself into. Levi hobbled behind him, calculating his next words and actions with every step.
What had he gotten himself into?
…
Gabi barely contained her joy at the table, nearly jumping out of her seat and pulling out the chair next to her. "I told you he was getting up!"
Martino, to the contrary, seemed less than enthused as he prepared his late morning- probably closer to lunch- coffee at the kitchen counter. He scowled as Karina took away a vital ingredient he was about to add.
"Do you want your mother to see you become a hopeless drinker? And don't tell me it happened once. It will happen again, I'm telling you." She promptly shut the wine away. He rolled his eyes and sat opposite Gabi and Reiner. Karina didn't look at Reiner when he sat down with the blanket around him. She instead busied herself by pretending to check the cabinets and then said, "I'll be outside. I'll let them know you're all awake." She slipped out the door like a thief in the night.
Levi chose to sit at the end of the table next to Gabi, and out of necessity. He was quickly losing energy to move around like this. And he didn't need another Braun boy, almost as tall as the other, losing his shit on him for what he'd done. Gabi handed over the bandages to Reiner. He quietly took care of dressing his own wound despite her insistence to help him. Damn, why did she act like the adult in the room?
"I'll get you some water then. Levi, you want tea?"
"Sure, brat."
Martino gestured, but Gabi cut him off before he could speak a word. "No."
The former Warrior candidate and waitress fulfilled their orders well and joined them with her own cup of tea. Nobody was saying much, and it was becoming almost unbearable. The warmth of the liquid did not take away any of the underlying anxiety Levi had about today or the coming days. Gabi was the first to say something, fortunately.
"So, Levi. Can I see the letter that Mikasa sent?"
Shit. Not this.
"It's a private affair. Not a nape to slice."
"Of course you have to bring Titans into this," she snorted in amusement.
"Gabi, don't," Reiner warned.
"Okay, Dad. But you know, it's funny. It's sort of Levi's fault that Aunt Karina has been talking to Martino and me about all the family stuff I've told you about-"
No. Brat, shut up. Levi made a desperate bid to hide his face by sipping scalding hot tea. But Gabi, as endearing as she could be, could never read the room, and Reiner was the most attentively listening to her as he had been in a while. Was that bafflement or horror on his tired face?
'-and well, it's my fault too because I found this book with Falco and-"
No. Shut your mouth.
"Gabi-"
"Reiner, what's wrong? You're-"
"Gabi, stop!" Levi's bad hand slammed the table. His palm and finger stubs buzzed. Reiner's untouched water glass turned into a tempest inside. The tea in his own cup sloshed around, and some drizzled, staining the table cloth and narrowly missing Gabi's shirt as Reiner instinctively pushed her back. All three Braun cousins had their eyes on him. So much for keeping this a secret.
"Wha- hey! What did I do? Are you trying to burn me?"
His good hand trembled with the hot cup in it. He placed it down tenderly and collected himself, trying to focus his eye on the least involved relative in this odd mess, though Martino found it best to escape to get a cloth to soak up the mess. Levi rubbed his bad hand.
"Gabi, go help your cousin find a rag. You can listen a couple meters away while you two pretend you can't hear anything."
"That's a good idea," Reiner butted in. He watched the waves in the glass settle. The eye of the storm neared its end.
"What did I say wrong?"
"Go," he snarled.
"Alright! Sorry for trying to talk about something interesting." Gabi's chair screeched on the floor, and she huffed her way to the little kitchen space where she muttered under her breath.
Condensation droplets fogged up the glass. Reiner tapped on it with his unbandaged hand. It chinked softly. Levi didn't move a muscle. Despite the friction, there was no need to get blunt. Reiner knew how to talk things out. He wasn't just a Warrior. He was an ambassador. Humanity didn't have to twist every damn word into a cry for war, and he had plenty of that.
"So. You're in on this too?"
"Yes."
"Why's that?"
"Because… There are regrets I hold."
Reiner wrapped both hands around the glass, embracing the dissipating coolness and closed his eyes. He breathed deeply. "Don't we all?"
Gabi trotted back with a rag. It wasn't going to do much to soak up the tea, but she dabbed about anyways for an excuse to talk. "What are you so upset about? My dad doesn't like it much, but my mom's been a bit more interested lately, and she's not a Braun by blood. And I was about to say, it's partially my fault too. I mean, we found this book and— Hey! You think you can sneak a sip behind my back?" The rag went flying and slapped the poorly trained wine thief dead in the face. That didn't stop him from clutching the wine bottle tightly. Gabi grunted and sized up. "You want Aunt Karina's wrath upon us?" The two bickered on and on as they played keep away with one former child soldier showing her rusty moves and one young adult left woozy from a hangover trying to keep up. The amusement gained eased the tight entangled cords between the two men briefly.
"Just what would the ghosts of Marley's brass say if they saw this? Letting wild pigs run loose in a city." Reiner mused monotonously. Tch, he wanted to be philosophical?
"You asking me? Having better feed makes stronger beasts. They'd shit their pants seeing their livestock turned intelligent." Gabi dove and caught the bottle before it hit the floor. She smirked at her victory over the ordinary young man unfamiliar with the dangers and treachery of war.
"How would they feel if the wild pigs dug out a cannibalized corpse and dragged it around like a prize? And the maggots eating the flesh crawled onto one of the pigs which started to eat it alive from the inside?"
Levi sipped his half-full cup of tea. He knew what he was getting at. "You think Marleyan bred Eldians gone wild would act like that? There's been rot-infested boars among them, but they're not thick enough to desecrate the dead. And what about island bred Eldians- the bad ones? The ones who mistaken motor vehicles for horses while trying to feed them vegetables and drink piss for tea? Yet our breed was lunatic enough to drag the dead devil girl we never knew back to stamp out the rest of the world, weren't we?"
Reiner nodded slightly. "And it's caught on here."
"Except who's clamoring over the name of the girl? The Jaegerists or the mainlanders? Did those Jaegerists blow those crowds to smithereens in her name? Maybe the Eseresoans should take their blood painting ritual over the sea. Because we're not worshiping an evil spirit here."
Reiner tilted the glass, summoning the waves. "It's the island they worship, Eren as its ugly face in the flesh."
"Sure," part of Levi twinged inside. He had not forgotten that face on the night of the raid. "Ymir Fritz was just a tool for these fools. Same for Marley. Did anybody ask what she wanted when she toiled through hell and back? Her own children followed suit. Someone did it once in her life, and maybe it was the wrong person to do it. Can you blame her for wanting to fight back?"
"Has her spirit come back to tell her story? You seem to talk as if you could understand her."
"The dead can't talk as far as I'm concerned- Onyankopon has some stories from the Church if you're interested otherwise. But we've both pieced together our closest guess based on official reports by Armin and… the book. Regardless of what she'd really say, her blood is in our veins. Her story isn't going to die out, not when we were around to see it unfold. And not when we got to experience a taste of her torture."
Reiner snorted. Damn, that was the most expressive he'd been all day. "Yeah, a taste. A segment sucking the life out of your spinal cord."
"You think she enjoyed watching this unfold from hell, unable to scream at her brats to stop?"
"Even the most pitiful of people turn out to be sick fucks. It happened with Eren and-" He paused as if something dawned on him.
"You too?" Levi raised his eyebrow. Gabi and Martino froze in place mid scuffle. They looked like they were bracing themselves for an explosive fallout. Tch, why did they overestimate the one they pitied so much? His pent up feelings in his head were too weak to muster the rage to strike back at him.
"Quite the joke," Reiner replied. He finally took a sip of water. "Like mother, like children."
The said mother entered the house once more with her arms full of a squirming Viola who was more caked in dirt than a devilish Eldian pig in a puddle on Paradis. The brat gurgled and hiccuped in her predicament. Karina took her straight to the kitchen sink and doused her in water. "This little girl thinks she belongs in the flowerbeds with her flowers. Gabi, are you alright? You look shaken."
"Uh, well, somebody tried to add some wine to his coffee, and I caught him." She eyed Martino with a menacing grin, to which her cousin scoffed.
Karina sighed as she scrubbed the brat. "Come on now, we don't need a third despondent child here. Get changed and go help your parents. Gabi, go get your sister a change of clothes."
"Okay. And uh, we also… never mind." Levi couldn't tell if she had caught sight of him or Reiner.
The two obediently went their own ways. Karina glanced over her shoulder as Viola splashed gleefully. Reiner looked up. He'd have to talk sooner or later. Levi didn't dare say a word. He'd done his part. It was her turn with her own blood. He didn't feel it was proper to move away, however, and not for his creeping pain from the bad leg or being slammed like metal on a forge.
"Reiner, I'm so sorry," Karina started. "I was afraid I'd upset you more if I tried waking you. Levi here just wanted to help. He's had a way of helping us all here and the Grice's. I didn't think that he would cause a bad memory in your sleep."
"Don't be. He explained everything and he was right. I needed to get up. And I'm up now." Gabi trundled back with a towel and a fresh baby gown for Viola. "Gabi and Falco need me, don't you two?"
The young lady blushed. "Of course we do! I keep telling you, we all need you here!"
"Well, if anything dangerous from the island comes around if the others fail, I can't say I'll be of any use unless you want to use me as a bounty if the Jaegerists please." He turned directly to face Karina. "But if anyone tries to feed lies to you all, or if one of you starts, I won't take it. About me or anything else."
Gabi looked stunned. "Lies?"
"Alright. I can assure you nobody is trying to do that," Karina replied, her poorly concealed bafflement flowing freely at this odd request. Levi sipped his slowly emptying tea. Tch, he'd have so much explaining to do later. "We're taking care of everything. Onyankopon was just telling us he might be able to get a psychiatrist on house call for you two."
"That's great!" Gabi exclaimed. She tossed the towel at Karina- another perfect throw. "I swear he can do everything." Maybe he could. If he could only get a better taste in tea he'd be perfect.
Reiner didn't move. He pretended to watch the water in his half-empty glass. Karina dried the little brat off as Viola tried to roll off the counter.
Redressing her wasn't any easier. Gabi stood by to help restrain the protesting baby. Poor brat. Soon she'd learn that she wasn't absolutely free to do as she pleased in this world. Finally, she looked like a little girl and not a piglet. "There, all better!" Gabi softly bopped her sister's nose, filling her with another gurgling fit of laughter. "Here, Aunt Karina. I think Martino decided to slack off and sleep more. I'll go get him."
"Knock before you enter," Karina warned. "No more bursting in on others if you can help it, even if they're family. Here, let's put you down to play while I get lunch ready. You've got to grow up big and strong like cousin Reiner." Her voice almost cracked as if she didn't realize how dolorous her words would be until they slipped from her mouth. It was getting difficult to keep up the silent facade, but Levi restrained himself. He wanted to say something, but he feared his words would arouse suspicion.
Reiner winced. He finished pretending to be fascinated by tap water. "Mom. Let me hold her. She needs it." His voice was almost pleading, anxious for her entrapment.
Karina looked at Viola, and then at Reiner again. "Are you sure? She's grown to be a handful."
"Can't be any worse than Gabi when she was a toddler. And when she became the little goddess on the frontlines."
Reluctantly, Karina handed over the brat to her son, to which he embraced her in his strong and scarred arms he freed from his blanket. "I trust you. You've always kept us safe." She meandered back to the kitchen. "More than you should have," she said, barely above a shaky whisper.
Viola squawked and squirmed on the lap of an unfamiliar face until she finally trusted him enough despite his sullen expression and lack of cooing like a mad pigeon everytime she so much blinked. She tried reaching for Levi. Tch, she must have seen him two seats away. The spirits were tempting him to take over, but Reiner needed this. Something to hold dear to his spirit broken in two. Soldiers dedicated their hearts, but Warriors knew how to protect their family and homeland.
"March! March!" And bossy little cousins loved forcing the older ones around as if she was holding a military drill. "If you were in the unit, Martino, Zeke would have whooped you until your skin turned purple! Falco's brother once overslept from a hangover and– aww, Viola does remember you." Gabi hid her face from her sister and surprised her. The brat squealed and knocked over the glass of water. "Ugh, great. First Levi, and now you!"
"Gabi!" Karina scolded. "Please do not compare Mr. Ackerman to a child."
So that's what he was now. A stranger in a home so familiar to him. Tch, it was just the way life was. People came and went. Comrades one day, dead or traitors to humanity the next. He wondered if Onyankopon would be done helping with the garden and apologizing for letting the brat play with the flowers. He was lucky she didn't find another disgusting centipede under the roots that wanted to attach to her and give her the power to become a ravenous Titan. Or worse.
The outside door opened, and in came Theo the mutt barreling toward the table past Gabi and Martino as they headed the opposite direction. The mutt didn't want another duel with his crutch but was more interested in the person who had been hiding away for days who wasn't showing him any affection even if the baby one flapped her arms in excitement.
"I'm sorry again for letting your little one become one with the flowers," Onyankopon apologized. "Good to see you up, Reiner." Reiner nodded as if he were acting on cue.
"Not the first time a child has gotten into a mess," Karina replied. "But thank you again for helping with this letter business. It was wonderful for… Levi here to read words from Mikasa for the first time in years, wasn't it?"
Well, thank fuck somebody knew how to control her words. They'd spent so much time together that they even started to know how to word things around each other without needing to pray the other would say the right thing. "It was. If you're ready to leave, I'll be too."
"Oh no, you should stay here," Karina insisted. "At least for lunch. After all the trouble you went through in your condition, it's the least we can do. You as well, Onyankopon."
"Ah, yes. That would be wonderful. What do you say, Levi?"
He noticed Karina's eyes before she busied herself at the counter. Sweet hazel yet so full of melancholia. Like mother, like son. "Alright. I'll stay as long as I'm wanted here."
He wanted to be needed. How long could he keep it up from the shadows?
"That's fine with me," Reiner added. It was like a call of a wild bird interrupting a deep tranquility after a long, dark winter. "Thanks to Gabi, Levi's told me a bit of what you've all been up to since I've been gone and back from hell. Mom, would you like to tell me why the name of Ymir Fritz is being discussed?" He held Viola as she tried to stand on the table.
The room reverberated with that name, spoken as a curse. Shit, this was going to be a long lunch.