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ROBYN POV

Bit by bit I managed to move my fingers, then my toes, my feet and my hands. My arms were filled with sand it seemed and my legs made of lead, but at least I could feel them now, so that was a win. Come on, get up. I raised my right arm, and even in the gloom I had to stop and stare. Obviously I was always pale, no doubt, but this was something else. It was like my skin was translucent or something. The darkened veins clustered at my wrists, infected my palms, gathering again at my fingertips. Shit. This was bad. But they would fade, like before. Right? I lowered the arm and tried pushing myself up. It took four tries, but I did manage it, and also to swing my legs out to have my feet resting on the floor. I had a nightdress on at least. My toes tingled against the wooden floorboards, but there was strength in my legs as I tried standing, and I only wavered once. Slowly, I made my way towards the door.

"So you nearly killed him, huh?"

I paused, hand on the doorhandle as I heard Keza's laughter.

She continued. "I knew you had a shaky start, and Erwin said plenty about it… But I admit he never got that specific."

"Probably trying to save face for himself, or me." Levi snorted. They sounded so at ease with each other, which warmed my heart. Levi then clicked his tongue. "I guess I end up making the strongest bonds with those I clash with worst."

"Mm, it would seem you have a pattern, Scowler." Keza hummed. "I'll bet you had some run-ins with Robyn in her early days."

"Stubborn brat like that? No, no, of course not." He chuckled, and I could so clearly see how he would roll his eyes, how his hair would cast in front of them, how that slight smirk would ghost along his lips. I had a very handsome husband, but a very cheeky one too.

I turned the handle and stepped into the orange glow of the room.

They both started. Their eyes went wide and they looked me over like I was a ghost, but when I gave a small wave and a smile, they came back to themselves. Levi came over and helped me to a chair, and Keza grabbed a blanket from the back of her own one, it had been warmed by the fire a little.

"Did we wake you?" Levi knelt by me, hands taking mine in his own, eyes searching my face.

I shook my head, trying to speak but only croaking. He got me some water and Keza ran her hand up and down my back. As caring as this was, as wonderful, I had to know what had happened when I shifted. How much damage I had done. It wasn't my fault per say, but I still needed to know.

"Don't gimme that look," Keza smirked. "But before you get all guilt-trippy, how're you feeling?"

I sipped the water. "Sore, a bit numb in places, but… alright? Fatigued, I guess…" I blinked, my hair having moved in front of my face. It was white. At least, a streak of it was. I reached and ran my fingers through it, the softness surprising. I'd have thought it would be brittle feeling, it looking so much like bone. But no. Just pale… and that didn't seem like a good sign. "I guess fatigue makes sense."

Levi tucked the hair back. "You've not been asleep for long, maybe four hours or so. You should probably rest some more, though the veins look paler, don't they Keza?"

"A bit, yeah." Keza traced the ones at my wrist. "Do they feel bruised at all?"

"A little." I shrugged and held onto her hand, as well as taking his hand with my free one. "Now don't dodge, what happened? Did I hurt anyone? Please. I want to know."

"Fair enough." Levi gave my hand a squeeze. "We've not had a full report yet, but other than some trees too stupid to move out of your way, it seems like you mainly just scared the hell out of the locals. But like I said, it's not a full report yet."

"Alright… I suppose that's good so far then." I breathed out, a little weight lifting from my shoulders. Even if I hadn't hurt them physically though, if any of those civilians were originally from Shiganshina, that will have been traumatising as all hell. And then I stared at my hands, one was bandaged, but the other had the little black lines mapping along my skin, like the scrawlings in that damned journal. I recalled seeing the waxy flesh Vincent had cut away and transformed separate to my body. I recalled the stink of chemicals and the bouncing yells and laughter in that tiny basement of darkness. "He really did it."

"He did." Levi nodded, not wavering when I looked to him in my soup of fear, regrets and confusion. "But you took the control back. Yes, you ran blindly at first, but you asked to be cut out. You gave us that opening and let it happen, you were in control at the end."

I tried to think back, it was hazy, smothered in steam and simmering panic as my body remained not my own but that of the order given. Shift. Change. Realise that power. Make all Vincent's sick little plans come true and show your enemies that yes, you are a weapon to be utilised. Damn it. I shook my head, focus. Flashes of green appeared, presumably when I'd been running towards Shiganshina. And then grey. The imposing wall before me, the inability to get out, to get… away? Yes. I think that had been where I was trying to get, just away from people, away from my family, away from any enemies who might use me. And then… Then I saw Levi. No. I didn't see him initially, it was like I felt him nearby, like the Source was calling to me from where he stood, seeing me in my Titan form, his emotions all over the place alongside his fears.

"The control… I think it came with something else."

Keza leaned closer. "What?"

"I think I was tapped into the Source…" I swallowed hard and tried to think back to the moment, but the heat and haze made it difficult, a pain appearing in the base of my skull. I stopped forcing it and just sipped my water again. Having only just woken up from it all, now wasn't the time to try that out. Just… Keep it in mind, I guess.

Levi was frowning softly. "Alright. What do you think that means? I can see you thinking…"

"It might help break the cycle." I leaned back in the chair. "But it's going to take practise, and training."

Keza's eyes flickered to my whitened hair. "No offence honey but I dunno that you wanna be popping in and out of this Titan thing like the Green-eyed kid does. This is taking one hell of a toll."

"Unless it was only that bad due to being the first time, and under duress." I said, not refuting the damage done, but opening the possibilities. She nodded, but clearly wasn't happy about it. "You should make contact with your Marley friends and tell them about this."

"What?" She scoffed. "Like hell I'm selling you–"

"You're not selling me out. No doubt they'll know already, or have heard rumour of someone else shifting. We're just giving them the intel a little sooner, and using that to make them believe your ruse more." I leaned in and put my head to hers. "Keeps you a little more safe, but is only telling them info they would have already had."

Levi nodded. "It's a good point. You should make contact quickly."

She looked between us and snorted. "You really are made for each other huh?"

Levi smirked. "I'll take that as a high compliment."

"Oh he's good." She laughed, and I took a moment to simply enjoy being amongst the two of them, my bruises healing, my mind settling, my world once again thrown into some major chaos.

I had shifted. I was now a Titan Shifter. At some point I would have to ask what the hell it had looked like, how I had acted, what the hell we could really expect, if anything, from my form. Maybe just breaking the cycle – but then again, that was already pretty important. Vital even. Shit, no pressure, huh?

Keza kissed my cheek. "How about I go run you a nice hot bath, honey? A bit of pampering."

"Mm, sounds good." I sighed, sinking into the chair a little more as she got up and went to the bathroom, humming a soft tune. As me and Levi were left alone, he put a hand to my cheek and I leaned into it. He must have been terrified. "Sorry for the scare."

"You resisted as best you could, everyone could see that. You even crawled away from the building. We can work on this like you said but… Even more so than breaking the control, we have to be careful. I'm not going to be able to look past this for long." He ran his fingers along the bleached hair. "This cannot be a good sign."

"Agreed." I sat forward and put my head to his. "And I'm not keen to go anywhere without you, so I'll abide by what you think is okay. My judgement on it will be skewed."

"Mm, I appreciate that, but you still get a call." He kissed the end of my nose. "While you have a soak I'll go speak to Artlet about some shifter training. He came into it when we had more info, so he'll have a better idea how to start all this off."

I nodded. "Thank you."

"Of course, anything."

I knew he meant that. If it was something that would bring me peace, a little bit of joy, or simply make my day that little bit better or easier, he would do it. So as much as my world had once again been thrown into fresh madness, I still had that steady hand holding mine.

Gently, I pressed my lips to his, and he held me close.

Eagerly.

My Captain. My Levi. My husband.

Two weeks, five shiftings, four nosebleeds, three projectile vomiting sessions, two pass-outs and one new bleached streak to my hair. But we had made progress. The bleached streak had come in gradually, over the course of all the shiftings – so still not great, but nowhere near as intensive as we feared it might be from my first one. The nosebleeds were the most persistent problem, but that also checked out with the phrasing stuff. The vomiting was… Well of course it was horrible, and every single time I think I saw every part of Levi's clean-freak self cringe inside out of itself, but it was just my body struggling with the strain, and the heat. Passing out had been once due to the steam on exiting my form, and the second time from trying to command Armin's form for too long, it all backfiring on me and sending me toppling to the dirt. So not smooth sailing, but as I said, progress.

The plan was to try and get me tapped into the connection I had with Eren, and likely other shifters as well, and then command Armin. Not that it was him we were worried about, or Eren, but it would be a handy ace in our sleeve should the Ape bastard reappear or any of his lackeys. But it was difficult. In the haze of my Titan form it was hard to concentrate on anything but a need to flee. It was terrifying. I had a whole new respect for Armin and Eren managing their shifting with such poise.

Levi attended every training session of course, keeping a close eye, and being on call to take me down if necessary. But apart from some initial confusion on the first shift, I had otherwise been in complete control. Turns out it's easier to be in control of yourself when not being forced into the situation by a deranged bastard – said bastard, Danston, who was now languishing in our cells, gagged and bound. His guards had been dismissed and the Queen had been fully informed. The council would also deliberate on Danston's punishment, while we continued to work.

In between actually shifting, I was attempting to make the connection in my human form. It took less of a toll overall, but things were definitely easier when I was in my Titan. That was still utterly bizarre to think, but I wasn't letting myself shy away from the words either. My Titan. I was a Shifter. These were not things to be ashamed of.

Eren was going to lose his mind when he got back from Marley.

It was early in the morning, and we had ridden out to the large valley where Armin could shift without causing too much damage. Thankfully it seemed he could control how much fallout occurred with his change. This made sense, after all there was no huge damage the first couple of times we had the Colossal shift in Paradis, so the enormous fireball in Shiganshina wasn't guaranteed each time. Still, he was enormous himself, so we still required a certain amount of room. He could also make the form a teeny bit smaller, which helped. Still, it was daunting to suddenly have that form looming over us, the one that had been the catalyst to all of this mayhem. And all of this progress. It was strange to think how small our world had been before that huge hand had gripped wall Maria and kicked in the gate to Shiganshina. After that? Nothing could hold back the world spinning towards the truth. In trying to destroy us, the Marleans had in fact freed us in a way. Whoops?

Still, showtime. The morning dew still clung to the grass and daylight had only just started peeling across the otherwise velvet blue sky. I was stood between Levi and Jean, ready to catch if something went awry, and I reached for the Source. As usual the pressure built in my chest, it thinned my breathing and frenzied my mind, but I'd been getting better at it and was soon presented with the white space. It had been a few days since I had heard anything of Ymir, at least, that was who we suspected the little Blonde figure I'd seen to be. And while I was glad to not have to see those empty eyes, or hear that creepy laughter, her vanishing act didn't exactly calm me either. Was her absence due to something happening over in Marley with Eren?

Focus!

I shook myself down and concentrated on Armin. Everyone's memories felt a little different when I went searching – Levi's had felt cold but natural like a pebble plucked from the path on a frosty morning, Eren's had been warm and prickly like someone had heated up a rose stem. Armin's were fairly lukewarm and soft, like a pillow left in the sunshine by a window. Having been seeking the same ones for a few days now, it was fairly easy to find them again and tap in, but instead of watching the memories I was trying to reach deeper and form new ones almost. I had nearly managed it a few times already, but the previously mentioned complications had got in the way before any real successful control had happened. But this time felt more stable. It had taken me so much less time to make initial contact, and now it was like I was striding more towards the present Armin, rather than his memories. My teeth gritted together. Despite being a little easier, the pressure remained as it built in my chest. Almost like I was a glass filling with water, and soon I'd spill.

A light appeared ahead, different to the white that surrounded me. It was warmer, like the colour of Armin's hair, or a spring's sunshine. I reached. It flickered, but didn't burn like a flame, instead it seemed to lean into my touch, moulding around my fingers willingly. I hoped this wasn't causing Armin any pain, but we would do a debrief after. The sensation in my chest tightened again, but I just focused.

Stomp your left foot.

Thunder sounded somewhere far off and a thrill ran through me, either from myself or Armin I wasn't sure, but something had happened. And that was a win. I leaned further and then held my own hand to my own arm, I raked my nails along the skin, just hard enough to leave pinked marks. I couldn't be sure that one had worked, but I felt no tinge of disappointment as I had the last few tries that had failed. I tried to step back from the Source, while holding onto the connection. It hurt like hell, like the pressure in my chest had been set alight, but I was curious how far this connection went.

Coming back to the real world, I blinked in the pale morning light and looked to Levi. He did a double take and then looked me over in concern. But I spoke first, the strange tug-of-war between reality and the space of source dizzying.

"Make a… cut along the back… of my neck."

He frowned. "What?"

"Not deep… J-Just do it." I gasped and looked towards Armin's form, small strips of steam rising from his arm, where he had presumably raked his nails. Success. Now then, would this work?

Levi stepped in close and brought out a small blade, holding me steady he ran the edge along the back of my neck. It stung like hell, and a little blood presumably beaded out as I felt warmth trickle down, but that wasn't the point. I just stared at the Colossal. And watched steam billow out the back of his neck.

"Amazing." I gasped, dipping back into the Source immediately and breathing a little easier. So if I was in my Titan form, made this connection with Eren perhaps, and had him command the others, we might be able to remove all Shifters at once from their forms. That was huge. Still only a theory, and not one we could really test till Eren returned, but exciting all the same.

I began the process of leaving the Source behind, of setting down the connection and allowing Armin back total control of himself. It was a careful process, too quick and it left the one I was connected to a bit confused for a while. So careful I would be.

You need to stop.

The Source's light wavered and in stepped the eyeless figure of Ymir. I stalled. I stared. Her voice was nothing like her laughter, it was heavy and mournful. She started right into me and put a hand over her heart, not dissimilar to a Scout salute.

I cleared my throat. What do you mean?

You think breaking the cycle is going to help? But it won't. Truly. My gift to my people is the only thing stopping their destruction. You need it.

And I truly believed that she believed that. Sincerity rang in every note. But that didn't stop them being misguided notes, sung from a song based in fear.

Not anymore. I shook my head, even if she did have good intentions with maintaining the cycle, it wasn't how the world worked anymore. Beyond anything else, the tech of the Marleans was likely going to make the Shifters pretty obsolete sometime soon. Beyond that… We were done with the pain. We're going to end it so that we Eldians can be free, so the whole world can be free of fear.

Impossible. She shook her head, frown forming, voice hardening. There will always be fear, and the only way to be free is to be the ones to wield it. To use the world's fear against it and hold it to their lying throats.

By the end of it she was panting, her hands clasping tightly, the light dimming around her to leave her as a glowing figure in a soup of oiled darkness. Time to go. I receded further and she bared her teeth, she reached for me, she grabbed my hand and the touch was like plunging my hand into salt water with open wounds. A scream ripped from me.

She held tighter. Do not break the cycle. Do not doom your people. If you do try? I will be here and I will stop you!

Get in line. I choked wrenching myself free and ripping myself from the Source so hard I toppled backwards, but of course Levi and Jean were there to catch me.

I stumbled into their arms and looked around in a panic. As if Ymir might have followed me back somehow. But no. Of course not. We were alone, and I only had the echoes of her raging bellows ringing in my ears. They settled me onto the grass and Jean offered me some water. Connie fired a signal and Armin left his form and came down to meet us. By the time he landed I was able to breathe evenly and explain all that I had seen. All that I had theorised. And my interaction with Ymir.

Safe to say by the end of it, they looked about as spooked as I'd felt.

Armin knelt in front of me. "So we're also fighting Ymir?"

"Seems so." I smirked and wiped my brow. "Might as well make it a full set I guess?"

Ta dah! Cya next time!