Hinata's not having a great time this chapter

Chapter 33: Tear my temple down into a prison

Hinata managed to hold herself together until Sasuke left. After she'd waved him off and retreated to her room, she allowed the rising panic to take over. Shaky hands twisted the ends of her hair as she paced her room, frazzled. She longed for the comfort of Kurenai's apartment, but if she were to go over like this, then there would be questions Hinata wasn't prepared to answer.

Hinata couldn't imagine saying the words aloud. It was inconceivable.

Well, hardly inconceivable. There was nothing wrong with Sasuke. In fact, he was the heartthrob of their generation, all girls within their age bracket were at least a little infatuated upon meeting him.

Perhaps she was overthinking this. Perhaps crushing on Sasuke was a rite of passage that Hinata was only now going through, a delayed response.

But it didn't feel like an overreaction. Hinata felt horrible. Like she was betraying her friendship with Sasuke. He had never enjoyed the attention of his admirers; how would he feel if he knew Hinata was one of them? Surely, he'd be uncomfortable, maybe angry. He'd let her into his life and she'd repaid him by developing a schoolgirl crush.

But Sasuke had kissed her, so maybe...

"…I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that."

Hinata caught her trembling lower lip between her teeth.

Hadn't she outgrown this sort of thing?

Hinata had been through this before, the sweaty hands, the jackrabbit pace of heart and, oh god, the fainting.

Her face felt hot, her stomach queasy.

She didn't want to feel like this.

Sasuke was a precious friend. The thought of anything ruining that caused her heart to fill with dread.

Losing Sasuke's friendship would hurt her, but what Hinata really feared in this moment was being the cause of Sasuke losing her friendship.

He'd let her hold him as he fell apart, shared the pain of his past with her and celebrated the joy of it with her too. He'd trusted her. Sasuke didn't trust many people. If he found out about her going back on their promise to forget about the kiss, he would turn her away and then he'd have one less person he let close.

Hinata stopped her pacing. Her flushed face paled of colour.

It was just a silly crush. She would get over it, like many girls before her had.

She had to.

The next morning, Hinata walked beside Neji in silence, mind resolutely set on thinking about anything except Uchiha Sasuke. It helped that she'd had a run in with the Hyuuga elders earlier, their chilly gazes following her and Neji up until the Hyuuga compound gates.

It was only after they'd reached a remote area in the forest surrounding the village that Hinata broke the silence. "Nii-san, I think its time."

Neji glanced at her from the corners of his eyes, but said nothing.

They were walking lightly, hardly leaving an imprint in the snow behind them. Hinata's voice was hushed so as not to disturb the wildlife. "I've been working at it for a long time. I almost felt like I could do it, but something was missing. Then recently I was able to review Jiraiya-sama's notes and I believe I have everything I need."

Neji narrowed his eyes though he kept his face directed upwards to look at the clear sky. A few tsubame flew by. Finally, he asked, just as quietly, "For removal and replacement?"

Hinata nodded. "Yes. Both. Of course, it's just theory until it can be tested..."

"But you're confident," Neji noted.

Hinata hesitated, but nodded again. "Yes. I want to bring it up at the next council meeting, but I'll need to speak to chichiue first. I'm worried about convincing him and even if I do, I'm worried the council will use the fact that it's untested as reason to dismiss it."

"It doesn't have to be untested," Neji pointed out.

Hinata looked at him sharply. "Nii-san, if something goes wrong —"

"You'll have to do it on a person eventually, Hinata-sama. Isn't that the goal?"

"I know that! But…" Hinata's words caught in her throat, too loud in the stillness around them.

"You would rather first perform it on someone less known to you?"

Hinata frowned, shamed. "That's…every person is precious…it would be unfair of me to worry more about something happening to you than to anyone else."

"Life is unfair, Hinata-sama. As are feelings. You're only human," Neji said with a wry smile. "And it's not as if I don't feel the same. Didn't we promise we would protect each other?"

Hinata pursed her lips, not completely soothed by Neji's reassurance. "We did."

"If it would make for a more convincing argument, I'm willing to put theory into practice. It would be worth it, to be rid of the Kago no Tori no Juin."

The flapping of wings caught Hinata's attention. She took the excuse to look up, craning her neck back to see a flock of tsubame taking flight. The conversation wasn't going as she had expected and she was growing distressed. As she watched the tsubame make their way across the sky, Neji spoke again. "That being said, now is not the time."

Hinata turned back to Neji, face filled with confusion.

"We have nae-ROOT to worry about. That should be our primary concern," Neji said. "It would be better to handle this once the village is no longer under threat from the inside."

Hinata deflated. "…You're right." As eager as she was to rid the Hyuuga of the cursed seal, it deserved their undivided attention, something they couldn't give it with white zetsu potentially crawling around Konoha undetected and nae-ROOT stealing hiden and siphoning chakra.

"And Hinata-sama, I'm sure you've noticed the increased scrutiny of the elders. If they are suspicious, I don't believe you can hold off on claiming your title any longer. It's the only thing that can limit their authority over you."

Hinata worried at her bottom lip, turning from Neji's serious face back to the bright blue sky. The tsubame were long gone, but she could still hear their distant cries.

After their walk, Hinata and Neji parted ways in the village center. It was still early morning and there were very few people milling around. Feeling dejected and having time to spare, Hinata found herself walking into Ichiraku Ramen. It was empty inside and so she and Ayame chatted for a bit before Hinata placed her order. The older girl brought up Naruto, mentioning she missed seeing the two of them around. Hinata simply smiled weakly; luckily Ayame didn't push.

Not much time had passed since Hinata had eaten breakfast, so she wasn't very hungry. Still, when Ayame placed the bowl in front of her, Hinata felt comforted by the rich scent.

In her youthful attempts to befriend Naruto, Hinata had followed him here. She'd never worked up the courage to speak to him, but she'd watched him enthusiastically eat and had sat down for a bowl herself. And she'd kept going back. Sometimes Naruto would be there and sometimes he wouldn't, but regardless she would sit and have a bowl of ramen and feel close to him somehow.

That's what she was doing now, she realized as she picked at the ramen despite her lack of hunger. It was delicious, of course, and comforting too, but it didn't soothe her worries. And once she'd eaten as much as she could stomach, Hinata stared at the mostly full bowl and had a sudden intense craving for tea.

Sasuke left Kakashi's office with a list of names of former ROOT members still in the village and Sai trailing after him.

It was clear that the other shinobi was troubled by their mission, but Sasuke had no desire to coddle him. He had better things to do.

Besides, Sai irritated him and not just because of his bizarre social deficiencies.

Using shunshin to cut through to the outskirts of the village, Sasuke entered the dojo with little fanfare. From behind the front desk, Togou shot him a sidelong look and nodded towards their usual room. A pointless gesture as Sasuke could sense Hinata's chakra from miles away.

He paused before sliding open the shoji, just for a second, nervous. Nervous about seeing her, about her seeing him, about her seeing things he didn't want her to see.

It wasn't a feeling Sasuke was used to, being nervous around a girl.

It was strange and new.

But if the alternative was not seeing her at all…

Sasuke slid open the door decisively.

If he were being truly honest with himself, it wasn't a new feeling at all.

Hinata was sitting on the tatami floor cross-legged, meditating. The sight of her face settled something inside of Sasuke, chasing the nerves away like it had when he'd seen her at the Hokage Tower for the clan head briefing and at the Hyuuga compound for tea. Like it always did.

Whatever whirlwind of emotions she inspired, when Sasuke was with her it all fell away. His own baggage too, everything fell away. Because, with Hinata in the room, there was nothing else worth focusing on.

She looked troubled, lost in her own mind. Sasuke could see wisps of chakra emanating off of her, only the slightest tint of indigo colouring the air around her. Then, Hinata opened her eyes and caught sight of him.

"Sasuke-kun!" There was a bloom of the lightest pink at her cheekbones.

Another new development Sasuke was doing his best to not to read into. The sudden uptick in Hinata's skittishness around him.

It was difficult not to do something stupid.

"What's wrong?" he asked instead.

Hinata's gaze flitted down, hands clasped together in her lap. "It's…challenging. I've been using more of the Hamura chakra, but…it's like opening a crack in a door and hoping that a flood won't knock you over."

Sasuke hummed thoughtfully, examining the worried tilt to her brows. "Have you tried asking politely?"

Hinata's mouth dropped open before closing into a pout.

Sasuke bit back a smirk, feeling accomplished. More seriously, he said, "You keep calling it Hamura's chakra, drawing a line between it and yourself. But that's not the case."

Hinata raised a hand to her lips as she considered his words.

"It may have been Hamura's chakra at one time, but he gifted it to you," Sasuke said, cocking his head to the side. "It's yours now. Start acting like it."

Nodding slowly, Hinata acquiesced.

Unable to resist, Sasuke added, "So if it's your chakra, asking politely might actually work."

Hinata's expression relaxed into one of light amusement. "Sasuke-kun, you told me to come to you if it felt overwhelming, but you're teasing me instead."

Despite the joking quality of her voice, Sasuke's own lost any trace of humour when he asked, "Is it too much?"

Hinata hesitated. "Um…not quite? But it was easier, when you…" She trailed off, a bashful look on her face as she held her hands out tentatively.

Sasuke was reaching out before he even comprehended what she was saying. By the time he thought to second guess himself, Hinata's hand was already in his. He scanned her face for a sign of discomfort, but Hinata was avoiding his gaze even as she curled her fingers around his palm.

As much as they were both trying to stay true to their decision to forget about the kiss, it reared its head in moments like this. Sasuke hated doubting himself. It annoyed him that despite Hinata's expressive face, he couldn't tell what she was thinking about him. It annoyed him even more that he had put them in this situation in the first place.

Unsatisfied, Sasuke turned his attention back to the matter at hand. He remembered he had used his own chakra to draw Hinata's out before. He began to do the same thing, feeling Hinata's hand relax in his even as her chakra levels began to rise.

"It is easier," Hinata confirmed after a moment, staring down at their joined hands. Though her voice was calm, a small frown played around her lips. "But I'm worried…if I rely on you too much —"

"I'm here," Sasuke interrupted. Whatever happened between them, that wouldn't change. "So you don't need to worry. You can rely on me."

Hinata peered up at him, nibbling at her bottom lip. Then, without breaking eye contact, she asked, "…Is it really okay?"

Sasuke squeezed her hand. "Didn't I tell you before that I hate repeating myself?" Hinata started to apologize, but Sasuke cut her off again. "Rely on me," he repeated.

Hinata's lips parted and she was looking at him in that dangerous way again. Sasuke's heart pounded loudly in his chest. He leaned forward until his bangs brushed against Hinata's cheeks. He saw her eyes catch on his lips and felt the tips of his ears burn.

Suddenly the steady flow of chakra between them was disrupted by a powerful pulse of Hinata's indigo overpowering Sasuke's heliotrope. Instead of letting go, Sasuke held on tighter, pouring out more of his own chakra to match hers. After a minute, the flow between them stabilized.

Sasuke opened his eyes, not realizing that he had closed them, and felt his eyelashes brush against Hinata's own. Their foreheads were pressed together, faces incredibly close. For a moment everything was still.

Then Hinata gasped, jerking back. Sasuke let her go, but held onto her hand.

"I'm sorry!" Hinata said.

Sasuke ignored the apology. "Do you want to stop?"

Hinata looked at their hands and then shook her head, eyes downcast.

So they sat together, Sasuke continuing to increase the amount of chakra he was feeding into his hand, Hinata increasing her own in turn, keeping them perfectly balanced. Sasuke watched their chakra mingle curiously. He hadn't known it could feel so…intimate. Did it always feel like this for iryō-nins when they used their chakra on patients?

"Sasuke-kun," Hinata started, her voice so soft that the quiet atmosphere welcomed it, "Your chakra affinity is fire, right?"

"Fire and lightning. I've learned Earth, Water, Wind and Yin."

Hinata made a surprised sound and Sasuke quirked a brow at her. "Me too," she explained. "Fire and lightning. I've learned Water."

"…huh." Sasuke considered the pure purple colour where their chakra met. There were theories that chakra affinity was largely genetic, but that didn't explain the unexpected divergences. Some said your affinity mirrored your personality. Sasuke didn't put much stock into that, but it was somehow surprising.

Fire and lightning.

Was it another case of their families' intertwining histories? Or evidence of a shared disposition deep down, beneath their many differences on the surface?

Sasuke didn't know and it didn't matter.

"I'll teach you some Katon no Jutsu," he said. "Lightning ones too."

"That's kind of you, but…"

"It's mine to share. And considering the number of techniques Kakashi has copied, he doesn't have a leg to stand on." Still seeing a hint of hesitation in Hinata's face, Sasuke added, "What kind of ninja turns down a technique?" Turning it into a sarcastic quip, like it didn't mean anything.

Hinata wasn't fooled. She looked at him with gentle eyes and then nodded. "Thank you," she said.

Sasuke glanced down at their joined hands. "I want to," he murmured.

More training scenes to come and they're gonna be full of SasuHina goodness!

Thanks to everyone who continues to read and review ^^

MVH