1.

Your body is being shaken as a muffled voice calls to you. You try to open your eyes, they're so heavy, it's too hard, you no longer wish to open them. Instead, you just allow yourself to be rocked by the hands on your shoulders.

"Talia…" More gentle shakes from the voice, "Talia, you need to get up!" It's a loud whisper in your ear: Astarion's voice.

"Mmmmrrr…" You squeeze your eyes shut, still refusing to open them, "Why?"

"Because I've already let you rest for as long as I can. Everyone is up and almost done getting ready. If you don't get up soon, they'll know something's wrong."

"...Fine," You let the hands lift you up and help you to stand. Your legs shake, your vision is blurry and your head throbs, but you're able to walk without help, "Can you get me something to eat? I'll get dressed…" You can't remember what you're doing today, "Do I need my armor?" You stare blankly at the ground.

"Yes…" His voice is strained, "Talia, look at me." He waits as you struggle to look up at him and focus, "Are you sure you're alright?"

"Yeah," You nod, hiding that the world swims when you do, "I'll be even better after I eat. So, food please?" You implore with what you hope is a sweet smile and not a strained one.

He takes a long hard look at you, so you make a show of getting up and ready until he turns to leave. As soon as he's down the stairs you crumple to your knees. It's bad. Your mind is foggy, you can't focus and just standing gives you vertigo. You pray you'll be better after eating.

You don't know how you manage to pull yourself together enough to get your armor on and braid your hair, but you do. By the time you make it downstairs everyone is waiting on you. You apologize as you scarf down one bowl of something markedly less foul than last night's fare; it must be Halsin's doing, poor man probably couldn't stomach that slop anymore. There's even fresh bread, so you grab a whole loaf to nibble on the walk to the bridge. Astarion's eyes watch you the whole time, finally nodding his approval as you take a bite of your bread.

Halsin gathers everyone around him on the bridge, producing a map of the town, helpfully provided by the Harpers, and points out which route you'll be taking. There's a central bridge that will get everyone relatively close to where they need to be. There's even a main road to follow, so there's little worry about getting lost. Your biggest concern is getting back to the inn by the end of the day, there's a lot of ground to cover not including whatever you have to deal with once you get to Moonrise. Halsin worries that there's no other safe havens to have an extended rest. Shadowheart assures you that you'll be able to make it back. You grumble saying you'll just sleepwalk if needs be.

The whole of the walk you're silent. Your head no longer swims, but you have a headache that throbs at the back of your skull, it is starting to dull thankfully. Nibbling bread helps you stay quiet while everyone around you talks. Halsin goes on about his history with this place. He was here with Jaheira, though their paths didn't cross at the time, it was an alliance between the Harpers and druids that brought down Ketheric Thorm. The general, in a fit of despair, changed from being a Selunite to a Sharran, then raised an army of Dark Justiciars and unleashed the shadow curse upon this land. Shadowheart points to all the bones with Dark Justiciar armor, there's a great number of them scattered among the bones of those that fought them. Halsin isn't sure what advice he can give as far as heading to Thorm's stronghold other than just gather information and get out of there. He need not be dealt with just yet.

You reach the bridge and ring the pixie's silver bell. Little Dolly Thrice heeds the call, insults you a bit but does her magic all the same. You give a smug 'I told you so' look to Shadowheart and Astarion as she flies off. Shadowheart smiles and rolls her eyes at you while Astarion simply arches a brow. He's been watching you like a hawk this whole trek; every little stumble or wobbly step he grabs your arm to steady you. You keep insisting he doesn't need to help you, you're fine. You've started to feel almost normal again, if only you didn't have so much to do, you'd recover quicker. You don't want to make him worry. You're fine.

2.

You step into the foulest part of the cursed lands, the pixie's magic doing as she promised and protecting you all. Halsin and his group veer off towards the House of Healing, both groups bidding the other good luck. Lae'zel turns down the path with Shadowheart, you quickly follow behind, Astarion continues to stick close to your side.

In the distance there's a soft white glow, the same as was coming off the pixie lantern, only there's so much more of it. The stone bridge leading to the towers is empty, no sentries at the entrance but as you move further down, closer to the light you start to see figures in the haze. One of them calls out for you to halt, their armor clanking as they approach. Shadowheart steps forward to handle the talking. She's well practiced at deception and doesn't require the parasite to talk her way in, only using it to prove your statuses as True Souls. The other sentry joins, saying to be cautious, there's rumblings about traitors and that you'd best report to someone: Disciple Z'rell.

You climb the stairs leading inside, through a massive set of metal double doors. The entrance hall is filled with all manner of people, creatures, monsters; all of them cult devotees or merchants looking to profit off its rise. You continue to follow behind, nervously looking around, but if it's your own anxiety or that damned guardian you can't tell. Since walking into this place, you've felt it lurking at the back of your mind. Astarion finally leaves your side to join Shadowheart at the head of your group. Lae'zel nods as you match pace with her, passing through another set of double doors and enter the audience chamber.

You stand silently just beyond the threshold. There's shouting, you peek between Shadowheart and Astarion and see goblins cowering before the dais. There sits an older Elven man in heavy armor, glowering at the goblins as the half-orc standing beside him berates them for their failures. They try to defend themselves, but the half-orc unleashes a wave of psychic force, a compulsion, your parasite wriggles in your skull as you resist the urge to obey. The goblins fall silent, but one stands, unaffected, furious. The half-orc turns to the seated Elf,

"General Thorm?"

His eyes shift from the goblins to you and your companions standing in the back of the room, focusing on Astarion,

"Let our newest arrivals speak. You have seen what these creatures are capable of, and you have seen their inadequacies, what is your judgement?" His voice is deep and rumbles with irritation.

"I'd say kill them. They're worthless." Astarion's voice comes out steady, controlled, and indifferent.

"That ain't true! Just give us a chance. We're good as anyone!" The goblin who remained uncowed cries out.

"There you have it." The General's lips spread into a small cruel smile as he rises from his throne and stands beside the half-orc, "We are too close to the ending and the new beginning. I can coddle failure no longer. Kill them. Quickly."

The defiant goblin screams out, grabbing a halberd from a nearby guard and hurls it at the General, lodging it in his chest, throwing him back down into his stone throne. But her attack was pointless, the General reaches for the haft and yanks it out of his chest with a grunt. He oozes black thick blood, rises from his throne and slowly walks over to the stunned goblin, dropping the halberd at her feet,

"Try again." She grabs it, and buries it in his neck, nearly decapitating him and still he is unfazed. Another grunt as he rips it free, tosses it aside and brings his gauntleted hands down on her head, crushing her skull, "Dispose of the rest as you see fit." His eyes move to Astarion for a moment before shifting to the half-orc, "You, have other more important matters to attend to, or have you forgotten, Z'rell?" He turns and disappears up the stairs behind the dais.

"You heard the General. The goblins are yours, deal with them however you wish. Report to me upstairs when you're done." Disciple Z'rell then follows the General up the stairs.

Astarion strides forward as you release a breath you hadn't realized you were holding. You look over to where he stands by the goblins having heard their cries for mercy. You watch as they plunge their daggers into their bellies, spilling their guts before collapsing into their own piles of gore. You grimace, hoping you'll be able to walk around the mess as you follow Lae'zel and Shadowheart to the stairs.

At the top you find Z'rell and another cultist having a minor spat, but honestly it doesn't interest you. You want to get out of this place, the guardian's presence continues hovering in the back of your mind, it's anxiety about something rising. Z'rell turns her attention away from the other cultist and looks at Astarion,

"Excellent timing, True Soul. The goblins, tell me how they suffered. No, better yet, show me." Her mind reaches out, forcing its way into each of your minds briefly before focusing solely on Astarion's. You watch them silently stare at each other when her eyes turn to you, looking you up and down slowly, "Is she truly that delightful?" She licks her lips, undressing you with her eyes, "I wouldn't mind a taste of her myself." Your hair stands on ends as she speaks to Astarion, her eyes fixed on you, "The Absolute can make everything you desire more than real, should you serve Her well and prove your worth." She finally looks away from you, "I have a job for you, True Soul."

Z'rell goes on to say there's a necromancer, Balthazar, that must be fetched from the temple across town. Should that necromancer require assistance in his objective, you're to give it then return to the towers to reap your rewards. Lae'zel asks the distance to the temple and how soon the objective needs to be resolved. You ignore the rest; your mind is too occupied by the guardian speaking to you. He feels that this is indeed the seat of The Absolute, and that you need to keep playing along with these cultists until you can find out how to get to it. Gods! If he's so worried about this then why does he only speak to you? You mumble something to Shadowheart about it, briefly suggesting she take the damn thing back, but she refuses, it's clearly chosen you for it never speaks to her. You chew the inside of your mouth as you wait for them to move on, irritated at the whole situation.

You head back down the stairs. Lae'zel is concerned; she learned that the temple is too far away to reach today, so you've been instructed to stay the night, here, in the barracks. If you try to leave the tower it would raise suspicions with Z'rell and lead to more troubles than you're able to handle. She suggests staying the night here and going straight back to the inn tomorrow. You'd be able to figure out what the next step should be with everyone. None of you like this plan, but the alternative would be worse; you don't want to think about what that half-orc would do to you if you were thought to be traitors.

Since you will be stuck here for the night Shadowheart insists on gathering as much information as possible but do try to not be obvious about it. She and Lae'zel head off to the entrance hall tasking you and Astarion with finding the barracks. As Astarion watches the two of them walk away he leans over to you and whispers,

"When did those two become…" He doesn't seem to be able to find the right words, so he just waves his hand between their retreating figures.

"Honestly? No idea. But it's kinda cute." You shrug, happy that he seems to have moved on from fretting over you.

"I suppose. But now there's no chance they'll rip each other apart and put on a show. Shame." He cups his own cheek and pouts; you smile at his insincere desire for their demise.

With no other real idea where to start you head through the first door on your right. You stand in the doorway a moment, it's not the barracks. Your eyes cast around, it's mostly piles of crates and barrels with a Drow woman in the back, fussing at a table laden with chemistry equipment. You take a step into the room, but Astarion doesn't move, instead he wrinkles up his nose.

"What's wrong?" You furrow your brows at him.

"Can't you smell that?" He whispers loudly at you as you take a step back to him.

"Smell what?" The tower doesn't exactly smell like a rose garden, but it's certainly not as bad as the goblin camp had been.

"It's coming from her," He nods towards the Drow, you raise your eyebrows in question, "Ugh. She smells rank."

"Like how? Surely, she can't smell worse than the bugbear in the hall…" He you could smell, like most of his kind, there's just a sort of musky wet dog smell about them.

Before Astarion can answer you, she notices the two of you hovering and whispering in the doorway,

"You there!" She waves at the two of you, "Yes. Yes, you. Come here." You walk over as she appraises the both of you, holding her chin, leaning from side to side, looking you up and down. She stops in front of you before she makes up her mind, "Araj Oblodra. Trader in blood and the sanguineas arts. It is a pleasure to stand before two True Souls, especially you, pale one." The way she looks at Astarion as she says it is odd, "I would like to offer my services, if you're willing."

"What would those services be?" The oddness of her look doesn't put off your curiosity. You've never heard of a blood trader.

"I make customized potions using my clients' blood. I would need to extract some from you to make one. And my payment would be I get to keep what's left for my experiments." She turns to gesture at her equipment, "I require True Soul blood, and as that is what you are, I'm asking."

"What do the potions do?"

"Well, that depends on you, your blood. But they enhance whatever it is that makes you, you."

"Hmm, what do you think makes me, me?" You smile knowingly up at Astarion. He might have an idea since he's had so much of you.

"Haven't the foggiest," He looks down at you and smirks while you pout, "Are there not enough True Souls wandering around here for you to experiment with?"

"Yes. But each one is unique, so I require as many different samples as I can get. So, will you?" Her eyes move from him back to you, they seem less excited to be dealing with you, whatever, you want to know what this potion will do.

"Sure. I want to see how this works."

You step away from Astarion and let her lead you over to her table where she opens a small cut on your wrist to drain into a vial. Next, she simply adds a few drops of your blood to another vial, shakes it and hands it back to you. But as she does her eyes fix on Astarion,

"And one more thing… You're a vampire are you not? Or one of their spawn at least?"

"How did you know he's a vampire?" There's something about how she's looking at him, a hunger in her eyes that makes you want to keep him away from her.

"Hah. In my line of work, you think I wouldn't recognize one if I saw one?" She doesn't take her eyes off him, "What's your name spawn?"

"...Astarion." He answers slowly, studying the Drow's face.

"I have a proposal for you. I'll give you a legendary potion. One of my best, in fact. It will forever alter the drinker's strength. You can have it, but only if you bite me." Her eyes darken as she drags her fingertips down her neck.

"I beg your pardon?" You grip his hand suddenly, stepping closer to him, wanting to physically put yourself between them.

"I'm not speaking to you," She flicks her eyes over to you, her gaze icy, then it softens as it goes back to Astarion, "but to him."

"You want to be bitten?" He only sounds mildly surprised.

"More than anything. Yes." Her last word is breathy and heavy.

"OK. I'll do it."

"What?!" You yank him closer to you, your heart pounding in your chest.

"Could you excuse us just a moment?" He smiles at her while pulling you to the side, whispering angrily, "It's someone else that's willing to let me feed on them. I can't keep nearly draining you every night while we're here. You could barely stand this morning."

"I'm fine, Astarion. I told you I can handle it." You glare back at her, "And you said she doesn't smell right."

"I know that. But this may be our only other option for now." His voice is pleading, but you don't want to hear it.

"Fine." You pull your hand out of his, "Do whatever you want."

You watch him walk over to her, they exchange a few words before he takes her in his arms and brings his mouth down onto her neck. He's only there a moment or two before he rips away from her, retching. You think about telling him you told him so, instead you storm out the side door and into the soft lantern glow of the lower battlements.

You don't go far, just far enough to be out of site of the door. You stare out into the dark, letting the cold damp air chill you, a shiver runs down your spine as you fight to hold back tears. Ever since you told him about your darkness, he's treated you differently. He's been strangely distant while still being right there with you. He has something to say, but he never says it. You know you're terrible at explaining yourself, you can never find the right words to describe the things that are so clear in your mind. The sound of a door banging shut brings you back from your roiling thoughts. You turn to look, seeing him walking over to you,

"Talia…" He sounds exasperated, but it's you who should be feeling that way.

"What?" You turn to look back out over the water, your throat tight.

"This can't… Gods." He exhales loudly and sucks in a deep breath, "I can't keep feeding on you every night as long as we're here. We don't even know how long it'll be." He rakes his fingers through his curls, "I know you told me about this dark need of yours to hurt, feel pain… But it feels like a death wish… Like you want me to kill you."

"I don't want you to kill me, Astarion. Don't be absurd."

"NO! You don't understand! Ever since I first laid eyes on you, I have felt something… something dark and possessive."

"So? What's wrong with that? I've felt like this my whole life!" You finally turn to face him.

"But how do you explain this new inexplicable need I have? Huh?" You remain silent, "Can you explain how just as you have this ridiculous need for me to hurt you, I now have this need to do it?! I want to make you cry out in pain. I want to dominate you, consume you, have everything that you are be subsumed by me! Like my life beholden to Cazador I want yours beholden to me! And I can't stand the thought of it! I don't want you to have this wretched life!"

"What if that's the life I want?!" He looks at you as though he's disgusted by what you want, "I'm not ashamed of wanting those things from you, Astarion! And I am not some damsel in a tower that's needs rescuing from themselves! I want to be yours to do with as you please! Gods! I want you to do unspeakable things to me! I want to belong to you. I want to give you everything that I am; body and soul! I can't help what I want, or what I am!" Your voice lowers, "I thought that's why you wanted me…"

"I DON'T KNOW WHY I WANTED YOU!" He screams it at you.

3.

If he said anything after that, you didn't hear him. The only sound you could hear was your own pulse thundering in your ears. The floor felt like it was undulating beneath your feet as you tried to flee. You know he grabbed your hands, but you wrenched yourself free and ran. You couldn't stand the sight of him.

There's bile churning in your stomach. You keep replaying his last few words, over and over. You keep moving your legs, finding yourself on a dock. There's a small table with a bottle of something. You snatch it, hoping that its stronger than wine as you bring it to your lips. It burns going down, sucking the air from your lungs, making you cough.

You find yourself at the end of the dock just standing, staring out into the void. You bring the bottle back up to your lips only to find it empty. It didn't help numb you to this crushing feeling in your chest. You sink to your knees and feel around for your knife. Clasping it in one hand, your mind desperate to feel anything other than this, you dig the point of it into your wrist and twist. You wait for Her to fill you with grace, but nothing happens. You wonder if this is what pain feels like for everyone else… You watch your blood drip onto the stone, absently thinking you shouldn't waste it. You hold the empty bottle under your wrist to catch it all…

You hear the sound of boots on stone moving closer. They don't say anything to you, just sit down next to you, dangling their legs off the edge. You finally look over to see it's Shadowheart, she doesn't say anything, she just sits with you, waiting patiently for you,

"Why are you here?"

"I was looking for you, but I couldn't find you." She swings her legs briefly, "I found Astarion," You wince at his name, "Is that for him?" She nods at the bottle.

"Yeah… I guess it is…" You're no longer bleeding; you must not have gone deep enough in your blind diggings earlier.

"Give it here," She takes it before you can stop her, opening her own wrist over it.

"What are you doing?"

"Helping you because neither of you knows how to ask, idiot." She smiles despite insulting you; she really is just like Ana.

"Thank you…" Tears start flowing and uncontrollable sobs shake your whole body.

She closes up her cut, the bottle being almost full, and she reaches her arms around you. She doesn't say anything else, just holds you while you continue to sob.

Author's Note: I have some doodles and sketches I've done for this story over on my DeviantArt, my name there is the same as on here if anyone wants to check them out. None of them are complete, but I like the way some of them turned out. I also have a massive playlist I listen to while writing this, if anyone would like me to add it at the end of one of these chapters I can. Otherwise, I'll put it at the end of the story, it'll be around 25 chapters.