Chapter 39: Returned and Lost
"I'm here for you now."
"I'll always be with you."
With those two sentences, Fenn's life had changed.
It had taken about a week after the return from Hutta for him to realize just how much of a change it had been. Avy…she…no longer pulled away from him, or from the other Survivors.
She seemed to take Krys Capistan's offer of her now being one of them to heart.
In the days following the raid and the return to Survivor Base. Avy had sought out Major Locke and those under her command. First to offer her contacts and any information she had collected on the various former Sith worlds now held by the Zakuul.
Sunner had been a little hesitant to accept that help, at first, but as Avy's intel began to pay off, and prove true, she started inviting the Sith to her planning sessions. Even going so far to introduce her to the officers that worked under her, the men who passed the plans they were making on to those that would talk to those that would turn those plans into actions.
Fenn was more than happy with this. The more involved she felt, the less likely it would be that she would turn on them later. He had come to know Avy quite well over the last few years.
She could be both power hungry, and ruthless, but she had a respect for her allies, and those she fought beside. That respect was useful, if she looked upon the survivors more than pawns, or simply business partners, she might realize just how much they could offer her, something more than simply blasters at her side, and soldiers when she needed them.
Still that was only half of it.
The other half involved more…intimate matters.
Those matters fell to him.
He once again woke before the dawn, even beating the alarm he had set next to his bunk. He opened his eyes, and stared up into the darkness, enjoying this quiet moment, that brief period between rest and wakefulness, soon he would need to rise and the join the others, but that time was not yet here.
A soft sigh, and warm breath on the side of his neck, caused him to look down, his eyes adjusting to the near darkness.
Fenn smiled.
For the third time in as many weeks, Avy had slipped into his quarters. The first time it had happened, he had not been able to go back to sleep for the rest of the night, and had needed to meditate for two hours in the midmorning simply to be rested and complete his duties. Now though, her presence here had grown familiar, comfortable.
He reached across the bunk finding the softness of the mattress and then pulled back gently, until he felt soft skin
He let his hand rest there, on feeling the warmth of her back, and feeling the whirl of the burned markings on her skin, the Sith glyphs, that she had had branded there.
Avy barely stirred, she made a slight murmur, and snuggled closer to him.
He didn't bother trying to move.
He didn't wish to wake her.
This was part of his promise to her.
I'm here for you now.
Those were words he took seriously, and now…she did too.
How far that might go, they would see.
That last thought made his heart beat faster, he felt a sudden heat start to fill him.
He took a deep breath and tried to focus.
It worked…mostly.
Despite her visiting him here, nothing had happened, nothing more…intimate. Some might have been surprised to hear that, but it was the truth.
He took her into his arms, stroked her back, brush a lock of hair out of her eyes, but beyond that…nothing more…
…she came to him, and he helped her find comfort, rest…sleep.
He and Avy, they had not been…intimate, not yet. She came here to feel safe.
Agony had not been available, the blonde Sith had been injured on Hutta, that first week she had spent almost the entire time in the medical bay. Her right eye had been damaged while battling the Muun's Sith assassins.
Dr. Tagge had managed to save it, and was, even now treating the wound. Darth Agony now found herself wearing an eye patch, protecting her vision while the eye healed.
So during that first week, Avy had sought him out. She had stood in his doorway after three nights of no rest. Through the Force he could sense the reason why. She was being tormented by horrible nightmares.
She had not needed to ask for help, nor had he needed to say she could stay. Through the Force, they knew…
He opened up the blankets, and she had shut the door behind her, she slipped into his arms, and he pulled her close.
She stayed, and they had slept together, nothing more…nothing…physical.
He had kept to his code, offering comfort to his dream friend. He had not offered more than that.
Though he wondered what might happen, if he did.
He didn't believe that she would deny him, if he took her in his arms, kissed her lips, and moved his hands over her body, she would have responded in kind. He knew that from their history. If he offered physical love, she would have surrendered, he was certain, because through the Force, he could feel it.
Part of her…wanted him to make that first move. She wanted him to play the dominant male, he had felt that desire back on Kivan's Holdings when he had restrained her from harming more people.
If he showed that desire, she would respond, and he hated to admit it, but…he wanted it. She was powerful, and beautiful.
How many times had he wished that he was not bound by the code. That he continued to keep that part of him in check?
That desire…that want had been with them for years now, things had always seemed to interrupt.
That last act, that final surrender might have been just what he needed to draw her the rest of the way into the survivors' camp. Yet, again, his Jedi training got in the way…
…possession is forbidden.
…passion is forbidden.
That was the way of the Jedi, but it wasn't the only view. He knew Master Jas' feelings on such things, his master had been happily married for years, his children were now fully grown. He had been a simple Jedi Acolyte when he had met his future bride, and had not ascended to knighthood until the war had begun, and the Republic been in jeopardy.
The council had disapproved, but that is why Master Jas had remained apart from the order, and did so until the war came, and his first child ha been born. The Sith had changed everything, and at that time, the order had needed all who walked in the light, regardless of their status.
Master Jas had become a Jedi Knight, and helped form Survivor Squad, and by his actions, during the war, he had achieved the rank of Jedi Master.
He understood that attachment didn't always lead to darkness, and that love could save a person from the shadow. He had told Fenn a story once, how the dark side had nearly consumed him, and his future wife had come to his side.
She had seen what he was becoming, and, without fear, had confronted him. She had confessed her love, and asked him to be with her, to come away and live at her side.
Master Jas had said: yes. He had let go of the darkness, knowing it would only hurt this young woman, that he could not protect her by becoming a monster.
Fenn had admired that, his master's strength.
Perhaps that was why Jas had not approached him about Avy's "evening visits." There were those in the Survivors who likely believed he and Avy were doing more than sleeping in here at night, but those ideas and rumors didn't matter. He knew the truth.
Master Jas, might even have supported what he was doing, trying to awaken Avy's sense of friendship, and need for contact. Would that be enough to save her from the darkness of her heart?
He couldn't be sure…not entirely.
He simply had to follow the path he had set for himself.
He needed…to trust in the living Force.
Avy shifted in his arms again, murmuring softly, dream-talk that was more sound than anything else.
He looked upon her, the girl he had known all his life. His eyes were, once again, drawn to the black silken choker that Avy wore.
He looked curiously at it.
Was it his imagination, or did the creamy piece of ivory have a low glow about it? He had never really gotten a chance to get a good look at it, he knew it was intricately carved, and shaped into a person's face.
He could feel the Force humming inside of it.
He was tempted to get a closer look at it now, maybe even take it off. Avy never removed it as far as he knew, but if she asked, he could say the silken band had come unhooked while they slept.
The item echoed through the Force; he could feel it in their connection.
Temptation ate away at his resolve, she was so close, and…it would be so quick to do.
He leaned in closer, enjoying the soapy clean smell of her hair, and beneath that, a smell like the fresh air of a world close to nature, a world that life grew wild and barely checked by the hands of sentience.
He could feel the silken cord with his finger tips, all it would take would be the gentlest application of pressure and…
At his bedside, his commlink beeped.
Avaryss stirred, her yellow eyes opening quickly.
He pulled away his hand, pretending that he was stretching.
He gave her a sleepy smile.
Avaryss groaned and sat up, rubbing sleep from her eyes.
"Morning," she said with a yawn, stretching out her arms.
"Morning," he replied quickly, reaching out for the commlink with his hand, only to have it slip off the nightstand.
He cursed under his breath, and…
"Allow me," she said, reaching out.
The Force responded.
He felt the device jump up, and into reach, he seized it quickly, putting it to his lips.
"Fenn here."
Master Jas' voice greeted him.
"I was hoping you might be awake. You haven't seen Avy, have you? She isn't in her quarters."
Fenn blushed slightly. Jas was no fool.
He knew where Avy was.
By now she had risen and after a quick stretch, started to get dressed. He didn't stare…much, though he could see the scars left by the battle on Hutta, they had healed well, but…
She smirked at him, as she pulled up her leggings, quickly grabbing her shirt.
"I've seen her," he informed his master, "Why?"
I need you two on the surface. The Coop's Folly is back, and Cooper wants to speak with Avaryss. You and Temmin should be there too. Coop has brought something back with him."
Fenn nodded.
"I'm on my way," he said shutting down the commlink.
He looked up to see Avy staring at him, even in the shadows he could make out her golden glowing eyes clearly.
"What is that about," she asked.
"Don't know," he shrugged, he jumped up quickly looking for his pants.
"Guess we are about to find out."
IOI
Avaryss yawned as she made her way down the hall towards the stairs leading to the surface.
She caught a glimpse of herself in a two-way glass, her hair pulled back in a pony tail, no longer wearing the black robes of her order.
Over the last few weeks, she had felt more comfortable in the clothing of those that lived in Survivor base, her garb that of the soldiers and techs that lived here. Her new coat even bore a patch declaring herself a member of the group.
They have stolen you, from the Sith, my child, Feer's voice echoed through her mind.
You are forgetting who and what you are.
She ignored that, what did her dead master know…
She was still committed to the plan, to bringing about the destruction of Zakuul, and the restoration of the empire.
She had simply needed, to go a bit deeper undercover.
She would be able to emerge from it, when the time came.
You don't really believe that, Feer said coldly.
That has always been your flaw, my child. You think too highly of your underlings. You desire friends like some…mundane, friends or pets. Yes, you are like a child bringing home pets off the street, expecting to be able to keep them.
She tried to ignore that thought, but couldn't deny, there was some truth in it.
She didn't seek fear alone in her underlings. She knew that terror alone was not what made a strong leader.
The most successful lords in their history had held great respect among their peers. Mark Ragnos had been legendary for that. He had been ruthless, but he had also been loved by his people. He had been a true champion of the empire, everyone from the highest lord, to the lowest slave had known that.
She wanted that as well. Soldiers that served her were well rewarded, and she didn't execute on a whim, or for a failure that was not the soldier's fault. She understood the fortunes of war and combat, and her men responded to that. It was not pointless mercy, it was wisdom, wisdom, and respect.
But the Survivors don't serve you, Feer hissed, they seek to assimilate you into their group, to make you one of them.
She could imagine her master shaking his head.
Do not be fooled by such offers of friendship. These survivors are dangerous. Be mindful.
Avaryss frowned, but again, could not fault the logic.
She needed to be careful.
Her plans were at a delicate stage.
She could not afford to be foolish.
"Hello, Avy."
She turned with a smile; Major Locke had joined them making their way to the surface. The woman who had saved her life from one of the assassins back on Hutta.
A useful ally to have, and the fact that she had once been engaged to Colonel Capistan made her a source of information that might be exploitable.
For now, though, she was a friend, and Avaryss treated her as such.
"Hello Gilly," she answered, "Any word on the operation that we planned? I'm most curious to hear how it all worked out."
"Not yet," the old sniper admitted, "To be honest, I'm a bit curious how this will all work out, as well. You came up with an…interesting plan. We will see if the Zakuul see through it."
The dark lord nodded.
It would be interesting.
With no leads on the keys she sought, the survivors had returned to the war against the Zakuul, but they needed to be careful.
The enemy was aware of them now.
Lenix Gul had been seen in systems familiar to the survivors. The knight was seeking out those that were known associates of the group. He had also been put in charge of many key operation within the Eternal Empire's new holdings, shifting assets, ships, and troops in an effort to cut the Survivors off from possible targets.
The targets that were available were almost too good to be true, and so, were likely traps. This new stage of the war had forced the survivors to work through go-betweens, and smaller factions of rebels, rather than striking directly. It had slowed things down, but with Survivor support, and weapons provided to these cells. Colonel Capistan, and Jas Dar Bynn still hoped to slow the invaders advance.
Major Locke, Gilly, or Sunner to her friends, had been put in charge of those operations. After Hutta, Avaryss had sought the woman out, offering her contacts and support for these new missions.
After making several successful suggestions, the Major had invited her formally into their group as a planner. Avaryss didn't know which worlds that they were sending help to, but using the data provided, she had helped the survivors draw up plans to strike hard at the invaders.
It was a slower way to fight than direct confrontation, but Avy was starting to enjoy it.
She had always enjoyed working with commandos, and small fighting groups, her original fury crew had had many commando style missions themselves.
The dark lord reveled in such devious attacks on her foes.
Sadly, that aid had started to have a negative effect on her mind. Helping her enemies so freely, her Sith pride and conscience had begun to hurt her in the form of nightmares.
In those dreams many fallen enemies and allies had come back to haunt her. Baras, Feer, Terrog, Fehl, Thanaton, and so many others. They haunted her dream world, calling her a traitor and demanding her fall and death.
She had tried to ignore the nightmares, but finally, she had needed to turn to Fenn for comfort. In his arms, and in their shared connection in the Force, she found rest.
Yet, he had still not made a move to…consummate their relationship.
That…that fact puzzled her.
Fenn wanted her, she felt it. Yet, he held back
It was frustrating.
What is the problem? He knows what I desire, why not go for it. I would offer no resistance.
Now is not the time to think about your perspective paramour, dear girl, Feer's voice hissed.
The smuggler has come, asking for you directly.
You need to see what he wants.
Yes, Avaryss thought.
Business first. It was not like Fenn had rejected her; he was simply…taking things slowly.
She would be patient a bit longer.
It would make that final surrender that much sweeter when it came.
Dor now, she would be patient.
She…could wait.
They reached the surface, just as the Coop's Folly roared overhead, the freighter that served as the smuggler chieftain's personal craft came around and settled down on the landing pad.
Avaryss sneered at the vessel.
Again, her thoughts filled with hostility she didn't completely understand, but still masked as best she could.
She still couldn't say why she hated him, and it didn't matter.
One day, she would be free to act on that hatred. It would be…cathartic.
She and Fenn were joined by Temmin, and Major Locke, shortly after. Jas Dar Bynn and Colonel Capistan arrived. The group waited as the Folly's boarding ramp lowered with a hiss of steam.
Cooper emerged first; he looked down upon their group with a sly grin.
"Morning everyone."
"Morning, brother," Jas said, "what brings you here so early, we weren't expecting you until the afternoon."
"Someone insisted on an early start. I think she missed this place."
Avaryss blinked.
She?
It was at that moment, she felt it, a presence in the Force.
She smiled.
Well, well, well…
…look who made it home.
Coop looked at her.
"Hey Sith, I found something you lost."
He stepped aside, and a familiar figure emerged from the shadows of the ship's hold. No longer dressed in the travel clothes she had worn to Nar Shadda, the girl wore a jump suit common among the crewers on the Coop's Folly.
She stepped forward, her heavy boot clumping loudly on the ships loading ramp. Thinner, and a bit paler than she had been when she left.
Temmin stepped forward.
"Zay?"
The blonde girl smiled and blushed, not used to being the center of attention.
"Hi," she said shyly raising her hand in a small wave.
"I…uh…I'm back."
Avaryss frowned.
In that moment, all thought of Survivor missions, or paramours faded from her mind, her full focus was now on the young girl emerging from the Folly.
Zay had returned, but did she return in success or failure.
The dark lord wanted to know.
She needed to know.
The girl made her way slowly down the ramp, Coop stayed behind her, just in case she stumbled. Master Jas looked at his old friend.
"The kid was on Nar Shadda," he informed his friend, "How did you find her?"
The smuggler gave the girl a proud look.
"We found her aboard a derelict ship, a few hundred parsecs from the Phaseera systems."
The man gave Zay a sympathetic look.
"Some creep kidnapped her. She managed to get free, and…deal with him."
"You did," the Jedi Master said, looking at the girl in sympathy, no doubt understanding what his old friend meant by "Dealing with someone."
"Yeah," Zay said looking down at her feet, her very being radiating with guilt.
"It…it was horrible."
Avaryss covered her mouth not in shock, but to hide a smile.
Interesting.
She could sense the guilt in her former serving girl, it shone like a beacon, but…that wasn't all.
A scan of her surface emotions revealed nothing strange, but a deeper scan, by someone who knew the girl, and how she felt in the Force, that…showed something more.
The dark lord almost laughed.
There was guilt yes, but beneath that, she felt…resentment, not just for the man she had dealt with, but for the rest of those around her as well.
She didn't like the Jedi staring at her, and that resentment, with a slight push could go into the deepest of hates.
That type of hate brought great power, Avaryss knew that for certain.
It was where she draw the bulk of her strength from, and the Jedi…they couldn't sense it.
It wasn't easy to see, the Jedi's vision of it was likely clouded by the shadows of the dark side, war and chaos did that, but to a Sith Lord it was plain as day.
She could see it in Zay's eyes. The girl had changed.
Those huge green eyes, they no longer shone with innocence, not a single flash of it. What was there now was harder, stronger.
Innocence lost, but something more gained.
Hatred?
Power?
It intrigued the dark lord, she wanted to know more.
She stepped away from the group, she looked down at her former serving girl.
Zay gulped and took a step back, intimidated, or…pretending to be intimidated.
Playing for the crowd?
Maybe.
Avaryss decided to give them a good show.
"What happened? You were supposed to contact my agent on Nar Shadda. You should be in a safe house right now, waiting for me to collect you."
She glared down at the girl.
"What happened?" she repeated.
Physically, Zay cowered before her, but…that was only an act, Avaryss knew it to be true.
She could sense it.
The girl's nervousness was real enough, but beneath it was a sense of triumph, she could sense that too.
She had succeeded.
The dark lord was sure of it.
Zay dropped to her knees and bowed her head.
"I'm…I'm sorry, master," she said quickly, "Your agent, he…he has betrayed you."
"Betrayed," Avaryss hissed.
The girl bobbed her head up and down.
"He…he said he found a better offer, my lord. That he didn't need your patronage. He said…he said Lord Farshaw says hello.
Again, Avaryss snarled, not in anger, but in excitement.
Excellent!
Lord Farshaw says hello.
Lord Farshaw had been a Sith Lord that she had murdered years ago. He had been infected with the Fydon virus, and she had destroyed his ship before he could reach a Sith space station, a station where he would have spread the virus.
Farshaw was long dead, but he would have had a grudge against her if he had lived. That made his name the perfect code phrase, an enemy would think it a matter of a Sith house seeking revenge on her, when in truth Zay used it to confirm something else.
Avaryss told her only to say that phrase only if she was successful in her mission, that she had found the location of this world. The hidden location of Survivor base.
She did it, the dark lord realized.
She knew the planetary coordinates for Survivor Base, and had brought them to her master!
Glorious!
The girl stood before her. Avaryss finally got a good look at her. Her eyes were ringed with dark circles, signs of lack of sleep, her face, showed signs of healed scratch marks, like something or someone had clawed at her face.
She refused to meet her master's eyes, but her lip curled slightly, not a smile, but close to one.
"I'm…I'm sorry, master." She said laying it on even thicker.
"I tried."
Through the Force, Avaryss sensed the girl's thoughts.
Make it look good, my lord.
Avaryss almost laughed.
That she could do.
She raised her hand.
"Fool girl, I'll…"
The Force struck her from behind…hard.
Avaryss stumbled forward. Her instincts took over. She let herself fall, and turned it into summersault, she rolled onto her shoulder and came up into a fighting crouch!
"GET AWAY FROM HER! LEAVE HER ALONE!"
Avaryss snarled, but again, her anger was not real, she had been surprised, but that was it.
Temmin Tagge stood before Zay, his lightsaber lit. His pink skin darkening to a deeper hue of red, a sign of anger in a half blood.
"STAY BACK!" he growled.
"YOU WON'T HARM HER!"
"Temm!" Fenn shouted.
"PADAWAN!" Jas called out.
Avaryss hissed, impressed by the strength of the boy's blow.
She didn't bother reaching for her lightsaber, that might have escalated the situation.
She looked at Zay, at her new apprentice.
The girl was shaking her head slightly, likely realizing that the two of them had overplayed this little drama.
It had gone to a place that the dark lord had not wanted.
Yet, she could not back down too quickly, the others had to believe it.
Lightning crackled between her fingers.
"AVY! STOP!" Gilly Locke shouted.
"STAND DOWN SITH!" the Colonel ordered.
The dark lord smiled wickedly. She could not afford to back down too quickly, that might have seemed suspicious, and besides. The boy didn't realize who he had shoved.
He needed to learn.
"Brave of you, Temm," she growled, "Not too smart, though."
"Temm. Stop." Zay said touching him on the shoulder, "She is not going to hurt me. She wouldn't."
"I won't let her hurt you."
Temmin Tagge hissed like a Tukata on the hunt, his hot Sith blood was up.
Avaryss knew the danger of that.
The dark lord rose to her feet, she powered down, the lightning at her fingertips fading. She kept her hands away from her weapon, again, not wanting to escalate things.
She was the master here, after all.
She needed to be the voice of reason.
She looked at Fenn.
"Control your student, Fenn," she said flatly, "Don't make me do it for you."
"TEMM!" Fenn shouted.
The boy wasn't listening, he was lost in his anger. He…
Avaryss' eyes narrowed. A thought occurring to her.
Had he sensed something?
Temmin had grown closer to Zay too.
Had he sensed the darkness in her, what she had on her, what it meant for the survivors?
It was possible. The old blood was drawn to the dark side.
"TEMMIN TAGGE!"
Fenn's angry shout did it, that or the sound of his full name. It shook the boy out of his rage. He jumped slightly, losing his focus.
The boy powered down his lightsaber, he blinked, like he had awakened from a dream.
He looked at his teacher, and their commanders.
He could see the surprise and disappointment in their eyes.
This was not how a young Jedi behaved.
He lowered his blade.
"Master," he said, "Master Fenn, Master Jas…I…"
Fenn stopped him with a raised hand.
"We will discuss this later, padawan."
The boy blinked; he looked down at his feet.
"I'm sorry," he said, "I…I didn't mean to…"
He looked at Avaryss, she glared at him.
Be careful, boy," she growled, "You should choose your battles far more carefully."
Shame radiated from him, he shook his head, refusing to look up.
Zay went to him, hugged him, and then stepped back.
"Temm," she said, making him meet her gaze, her hands on his red chin.
"I'm fine. It…it is going to be okay."
The boy shook his head.
"I'm sorry," he repeated.
I'm sorry.
He ran. He ran with all the speed the Force could grant him.
He was gone almost before anyone realized it.
"TEMMIN!" Fenn shouted after him.
He started to draw on the Force, ready to give chase.
His own master stopped him.
"Let him go, Fenn," Jas ordered, "Give him time."
Yeah," Coop agreed, "He is a teenager. My boys were the same way at that age, sometimes they need time to cool off. He'll be back."
Fenn nodded, he looked after his apprentice, but…
Avy could sense his disappointment and surprise.
Interesting, she thought.
Now how can I turn this to my advantage?
"Master," Zay said drawing her attention.
"May I go after him?"
"No, you may not," she spat, "Fenn is right, the boy needs time."
She leaned in closer.
"Plus, you have something for me," she whispered, "I will have your report."
The girl nodded.
"Yes, my master."
Fenn came up to Avaryss he placed a hand on her shoulder.
"He lost his temper. He didn't mean any harm. He thought you were going to strike the girl."
Avaryss shook her head.
"I wasn't," she said, "I was angry, but I've never struck Zay. Never."
She looked at the senior members of the Survivors. She realized that she needed to be careful, less she lose months of hard gained trust.
"I apologize."
"You should be apologizing to the kid," Cooper reminded her, "She did her best on the mission you gave her."
Avaryss nodded.
"You are right, Captain."
She turned to Zay.
"I…I am sorry, my dear."
Zay nodded.
"Thank you, master."
She smiled, not the shy smile of the slave she had been, but something darker, more confident.
"I hope this means a new future, for both of us."
Avaryss nodded.
Oh, my dear, she thought.
You have no idea.
She bowed her head in agreement.
"A new future, yes," she agreed.
"For both of us."
A/N: more of Zay's new relationship with her master next chapter. Plus, I was thinking of doing a Temmin short in Grim tales, if anyone is interested let me know. Until next time, dear readers. May the Force serve you well.
DG