ConSeQuences Chapter 3, a twilight fanfic

Thank you to my pre-readers, my co-writer and BohemianRituals!

Chapter 3: Hindsight is Twenty-Twenty

Bella

"That skank told me the whole story you fuckn' douchebag, you're busted." Tanya yelled as she followed behind him.

I couldn't move. My head told me to run to my room and lock the door, but my heart wouldn't let me move.

"Bella." He choked out.

"Edward." I whispered softly.

Edward paused in the doorway before he stepped in the room. "Baby I'm so sor—"

"That's right, you are a sorry motherfucker." Tanya said matter-of-factly, as she shoved him to the side.

Edward moved closer to Tanya. "Look, I've had enough of your shit, would you just shut the fuck up you little meddling bit-."

"Edward." I said through clenched teeth.

He rubbed the back of his neck as he looked at Tanya. "You couldn't wait to run to Bella with this bull shit."

Tanya crossed her arms, tilted her head to the side and pursed her lips, blinking at him.

Tanya and Edward have never liked each other. Never. But Tanya has always had my back so the likelihood of what she told me being bullshit was slim.

I blew out a breath and got up from the couch and stood between the two of them.

"Were you actually going to call me a bitch." Tanya smirked. "The only bitch I see here is you."

Edward chuckled bitterly. "Bella, get ya girl."

"What you try'na do?" Tanya pushed against me, which pushed me into Edward.

I put my hand on Tanya's shoulders. "Stop, please."

Tanya pushed my hands off of her. "No, Bella." She shook her head. "Not this time. What is there to even talk about. He cheated." She arched an eyebrow. "Again."

I knew she would love to take care of this situation, him, for me, like I said she always had my back, but this was my fight.

I turned to face Tanya. "I know you're upset, but please let me handle this."

"Fine." She exhaled, stepped back and held her hands up in surrender. "Okay, Bee, for you." She looked at Edward, her eyes cold. "But I'm not leaving, I'll be in the kitchen."

I nodded once. "Okay."

Edward snorted. "Cause I don't need privacy to talk to my fuckn girlfriend." He glared back at her.

Tanya folded her arms across her chest. "Were you think'n about your fuckin girlfriend when your dick was in the bitch's mouth?"

Ouch.

Edwards hands clenched and unclenched. "You got one mo—"

"Enough." I interrupted him. "Tanya, go in the kitchen, now." I pointed towards the kitchen.

She huffed but gave me a pointed look before she left the room.

I took two calming breaths before I looked at Edward, who was already staring at me.

I knew he was waiting on me to speak first like I've done in the past when we argued or had a disagreement, but I refused to do it this time. I watched him paw his hand through his hair, repeatedly. He darted quick glances at me as he bit his bottom lip.

After a few moments of silence, I took a few steps back and sat down on the couch and crossed one leg over the other. Waiting.

Honestly Tanya was right. What is there left to say? We'd done this before, and he promised that it wouldn't happen again. But here we are, however, this time I don't have anything I want to say to him or any forgiveness to give.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to act like I'm emotionless or that what he did didn't affect me. In truth, I wanted to cry. And I mean the ugly, snot-filled, hard to catch your breath cry, but I wouldn't do that in front of him. I'd wait till he was long gone and let it all out on Tanya's shoulder, snot bubbles included.

I guess he finally realized I wasn't going to say anything. "Baby, I—" He stepped towards me, but I put my hand up and halted his steps.

"Stay over there." I pointed.

"Okay." He raised his hands in surrender. "Can I at least explain?"

I gestured for him to continue with my hand.

"You know I did that eight-hour tat for Eric, right?" He looked at me for confirmation, but I didn't respond. "Okay, so, anyway, I was in the breakroom chilling, trying to decide if I was gone come over here with you or if I was going home."

I remembered he texted me and said he was too tired to come over. Now I know why. I said nothing, and put my hand under my chin, leaning against it.

He continued. "Bella, I promise I was minding my own business, she came looking for me."

"Mmm." I slowly nodded my head.

He unzipped his jacket. "Is it hot in here or is it just me?"

"The only thing that's hot in here is the hot bullshit coming out of your mouth." Tanya yelled form the kitchen.

I ignored that.

"Nope, just you." I looked at him, unblinking.

He rubbed his hands down his jeans. "So—so, um, she took her clothes off."

I raised my eyebrows.

So that's what people do now. Get naked at work. Just whipping titties out.

Noted.

He blew out a series of short breaths before he continued. "Then she… gavemeaBJ." He mumbled, quickly, but I still knew what he said. "Sh—she wanted more, but I—I stopped her." He stammered out.

Stopped her? If after he got his dick wet was stopping her, I'd hate to see what not stopping her would look like. Oh wait….

The sad part is, he probably thinks what he deserves some type of certificate or pat on the back for not letting her go any further.

As if her opened mouth just coincidently fell on his uncovered dick and he had no part in the act whatsoever.

I rubbed my hand over my forehead and sighed, looking away from him.

Usually, I enjoyed taking in Edward athletic body, muscular arms, nice six pack, the V all women melt over, just enough reddish-brown hair on his stomach that headed south, and his toned thighs.

And his face, Ugh.

His jade-green eyes, that at times seemed to have specks of hazel have pulled me in from day one. They reminded me of a sweet hue of spring clover or fresh wands of new budded grass, they were bright, bold, and beautiful.

I loved his silky hair that always looked perfect, but more than that I'd always loved to run my fingers through his soft locks, both in and out of bed, and kiss down his strong jaw line.

His voice, velvety, smooth, but yet, commanding… my body normally shivers in reaction to him just merely being in the same room as me, but today….I felt sick.

And angry.

And I still wanted to cry.

My fist was clenched so tight I could feel my nails dig into my palm.

I looked down and willed myself not to cry.

My mind went back to the first time this happened with Piper Collins. Edward told me it was a mistake, a slip up, that it would never happen again. I wasn't going to allow a single moment to define our almost one-year relationship.

I thought we had something special.

I thought he loved me.

But, apparently, I'm the only one in love.

He took one step towards me. "Bella, please… say something."

I took a breath before I turned to face him again.

He shifted from foot to foot.

He was nervous.

Good.

I looked directly at him. "Get out."

His shoulders slumped. "No, Bella, let's talk ab—"

I cut him off. "I'm done, we're done. There's nothing to talk about."

"No, you don't mean that. Baby, we love each other."

"Love!" I had a hard edge to my voice. "You don't know the first damn thing about love."

He took another step towards me. "You're the only one I've ever loved. The others meant nothing to me, only you."

"What the fuck did I mean to you while you had your dick in Piper's mouth?" I tilted my head to the side.

"Bella, I'm so, so sorry." He ran his hand over his face. "Being in a relationship is new to me, you knew this. I never thought I'd be in a monogamous relationship. It was a mistake, forgive me Bella, please." He begged.

I stood up. "Edward, stop calling it a mistake. So, you mistakenly fucked her, twice" I narrowed my eyes. "It was your fuckn choice."

He reached for my hand, but I jerked away from him.

"I swear, Bella, it won't ever happen again."

"You said that last time, and I believed you, like an idiot." I growled.

I was starting to be angrier with myself than him. I shouldn't have forgiven him the other time.

What's that saying, 'when a person shows you who they are, believe them'.

It was right in my face and I stuck my head in the sand.

I thought that I could believe him, trust him, despite everything.

By no stretch of the imagination did I think Edward was a virgin. I heard some of the rumors through our mutual friends, but I've always tried to get to know a person for myself, instead of through the gossip mill.

I ignored the stares and knowing smirks from Samantha, Jessica, and Chloe, and countless others whose names I didn't know. Those three seemed to be the most ruthless in the beginning, with the exception of Piper. She was much worse.

When I told Edward about the looks, whispered words and snickers but he'd tell me ignore them because they were jealous since he was committed to me now.

He always reassured me that they were in his past, I was his present, and future.

Shit!

I sound like some blinded, love obsessed, naïve little girl who wanted sweet nothings whispered oh so softly in my ear.

Yuck!

When the fuck did I become like this?

And more importantly had he played me the whole time?

The so-called late nights at the shop with clients?

Hanging out with his brothers?

Studying?

The typical bull shit cover ups.

My stomach knotted up.

My chest hurt, felt heavy.

You know that watery feeling you get in your mouth right before you extract everything you ate… yeah, that's exactly how I felt.

"You need to g—"

"Baby, I know I said it before but." He said as he walked toward me. "I really do mean it this time." He cupped my cheeks, looking at me intently. "It will never happen again."

"Bullshit!" Tanya said, loudly.

He really means it…this time. Because this time is so different from last time?

Bullshit indeed.

I pulled his hands away from my face. "Why should I believe you this time? This… us… me." I waved my hand between us. "…has never meant anything to you. This relationship was nothing but a…I don't fucking know… a jacket."

"A jacket?" Tanya said, still in the kitchen. "Bee, really, a jacket?"

"Would you shut the fuck up." Edward looked behind him.

"Yes, a jacket." I looked in the direction of the kitchen. "My point is." I looked back at Edward. "You stopped caring about me, this relationship, when it was inconvenient for you."

He went to touch my face again, but I stepped back. "That's not—"

I held my hand up to stop him from speaking.

They say it hurts less if you pull the band-aid off with one quick pull…

May as well do it all at once.

"Edward, I'm going to ask you a question and I want the truth, the whole goddamn truth. There's nothing to lose now." I looked in him in the eyes and waited until he gave a resigned nod.

"When we first got together, and even after, were you still screwing, Chole, Samantha, Jessica, Piper, and anybody else that had a pussy for you to fuck?"

He looked down, not meeting my gaze.

Spit it out motherfucker.

He touched the bridge of his nose. "Bella, I—"

"The. Truth. Edward." I raised a brow.

He glanced around the room before he finally looked at me. "Yes."

I knew the answer before he said it, but no matter how prepared I thought I was, I really wasn't.

It felt like someone punched me in the gut.

Without actually being aware of it I took a couple steps back.

I wondered how many times he'd just left their beds, and then came over here to mine.

"Baby." Edward walked towards me with his hands out.

"Don't touch me. Don't you dare fuckn touch me!" I yelled.

He froze.

I heard rushed footsteps from the kitchen, Tanya.

Like I said, I knew the answer but to hear him admit it…

I was angry, livid.

Hurt.

Humiliated.

Regretful.

I'd regretted the day I met him. Our first date… first kiss… the first time we made love, after I made him wait for three months. He was the first person I gave him my virginity because I loved him. I didn't want to give my flower away unless I was in love. I had dated some guys before, but the connection was never there.

They'd only proven to want sex, but I guess they didn't play the game as good as Edward did. Maybe they needed to get some pointers from him, he's the master at it.

My mind raced, trying to process everything.

I felt vulnerable, exposed.

"Bee, are you okay?" Tanya asked from behind me.

I nodded my head, yes, too afraid to speak.

That wasn't good enough for her. "Look at what you did, you fuckn asshole."

Edward's face turned red. "You shouldn't even be here. Get the hell out so we can finish talking." He clenched his teeth.

"Fuck you." Tanya stepped closer to him. "Sounds like you're the one that needs to—"

"The whole time." My voice was hoarse, eyes cold. "The whole motherfuckn time."

I saw different flashes of special moments, at least that's what I thought at the time, of us sharing things about ourselves, our many lunch dates in between classes at Millennium Park, sledding in Evanston, and the night we watched the Bears get creamed at Solider Field.

Then there were times we spent at my house or his apartment, watching movies, snuggled up, sharing the same blanket, holding each other.

I thought all those times meant something, I meant something.

"The whole time what?" Tanya stood in front of me.

"It's not your concern." Edward frowned.

She spun around to him. "Now, that's where you're wrong." She cocked her head to the side. "Anything concerning, Isabella Marie Swan, my person, my best friend, concerns the fuck outta me." She pointed to herself. "And I've been concerned since she started dating yo no good ass." She smirked. "But from the looks of it, I don't have to be concerned anymore."

"I guess you're happy now, huh?" He chuckled without humor. "You've been trying to break us up from the beginning."

"I've never had to try to break you two up, you fucked up enough on ya own." Tanya stepped closer him. "You're not good enough for her. She deserves better than you."

He walked around her. "Bella, can we go somewhere private so we can finish talking?"

Tanya stood behind Edward. "Do you want me to put him out, Bee?"

I saw them face each other but their words faded to the background like white noise because even though I wanted it to stop, everything was starting to click, every excuse, lie, he told me. My thoughts jumped from one memory to the next on things I didn't pick up on at the time.

I saw the sad soap opera my life had turned into playing out right in front of me.

I'd never been one of those girls. I shook my head at those girls, even laughed sometimes …I always thought they should've been smarter.

But here it was, live and in color.

I was one of those girls.

Tanya's yelling brought me back. "Get the fuck out, Edward!"

"I'm not leaving until Bella puts me out." Edward's lips curled.

I laid my hand on my forehead and chuckled.

Edward and Tanya both turned and looked at me with puzzled expressions.

I laughed.

I get it now, why I got all the looks.

I was the joke.

I laughed harder.

Like a deep belly laugh, red face, and hands on my stomach laugh.

Tanya's eyebrows squished together, and Edward's mouth was slightly opened.

I put my hand on my knees, still laughing.

"Bee?" Tanya asked hesitantly.

After I calmed down, I stood up and took a deep breath. "Wow." I said as I walked to stand in front of Edward, clapping. "You did it." Clap. "You won." Clap.

"Baby?" He frowned.

"You fooled me, for months." Clap

"Take a goddamn bow, Edward Cullen, you've earned it." Clap. "And you get bragging right because you were my first, but lord knows I wasn't yours." Clap.

"Stop, don't do that." Edward squeezed his eyes shut.

"Why?" I bumped Tanya's shoulder with mine. "C'mon T, clap for Edward." I smirked. "He deserves a motherfuckn Oscar for such a great performance." Clap.

Tanya shook her head. "No." She whispered.

She knew it took a lot for me to get to this place, using sarcastic humor, to deflect, hide how I really felt. The only other time I'd been here was when my father and I had a disagreement about what college I would attend. Initially, Tanya and I wanted to attend NYU, but he wouldn't allow me to be that far away from home.

Things were kinda tense between my dad and I for about a week or so, where I answered him in simple yes or no responses or I used snarky humor, as he called it, which did nothing but escalate the disagreement more.

Eventually I found out Tanya's parents weren't having it either, so we decided to go with University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. It was a win-win for everyone. We were a little over two-hours away from home in dorms, and our parents liked that we were still in the state.

I digress…

We both knew this was a way of coping for me but, once I came down, I would crash, hard.

Edward stood there with raised eyebrow, blinking.

I finally stopped clapping. "You lying, cheating, bastard, get the fuck out." I pointed to the door.

Edward took a shaky breath. "Please, Bella. We can get through this." He swallowed thickly. "I love you, and that's the truth."

I stepped directly in front of Edward.

"I don't know your truths." I chuckled humorlessly. "I only know your lies." I stared intently.

"No Bella, please." Edward, dramatically, fell to his knees in front of me. "I'll do anything… anything. I-I'll give you space, yeah, that's what you need, space. You just need a little time." He nodded to himself as if that was the right answer. "Ju-Just please don't say, we're done."

"Edward, you need to go." I barely whispered. He reached for me, but I flinched back. "Go."

Edward moved towards me on his knees. "I won't—I won't give up on you, us." His voice cracked.

I sighed slowly as I looked up at the ceiling.

"Ed-Edward, I think you need to go." Tanya said calmly.

Tanya knew I was moments away from losing it.

"Bel—la, please." He sounded as if he had a lump in his throat.

I looked back at him; a single tear rolled down his cheek. I quickly looked away.

It was too much.

My head was pounding.

I was physically and mentally drained.

It felt like I was on the losing end of a ten-round boxing match.

My hand trembled as I raked my fingers through my hair. "I ca—I can't do this anymore."

When I met his gaze again, more tears had fallen, his eyes were red.

He vigorously shook his head. "I'm not letting you go."

"That's the thing, I was yours, but you were never mine." I slowly started walking backwards towards the stairs. "Edward, you need to go."

He stood up. "We can start over, have a clean slate." He tugged on his hair. "I'll go back to school with you, we can get our own place together, and I'll get a job in a parlor there." He blurted out.

I paused by the stairs. "You know a few days ago I would've jumped at that." I licked my dry lips.

"Let's do it then." Edward gave that crooked grin, even though it didn't reach his eyes like it usually did, but that was the grin that got me every time. He knew it too, he thought he had me.

Except this time was different.

I leaned against the rail on the staircase. "But that was a few days ago, it's too late, Edward."

He stuffed his hand in his pockets and curled into his self. His eyes looked so big and round, pleading with me, like he wanted me to see he felt guilty.

Guilty enough to forgive him.

I turned and began to walk up the stairs.

"Baby." Edward tried to come to the stairs, but Tanya stepped in front of him.

"Edward, I'm not going to say it again, you need to go." Tanya tsked. "I hope that BJ was worth it."

"Shut the fuck up. You talk too much. Bella!" He yelled as I counited to go up the stairs.

"Stop yelling you idiot. She's not coming back." Tanya said.

I didn't turn around to respond.

I'd had enough.

I'd held it together as long as I could.

I walked to my bedroom, closed the door, and plopped on my bed.

I knew Edward wouldn't lay a finger on Tanya or try to force his way upstairs. I was more worried for him than her.

I heard a few more muffled words exchanged and finally the front door slammed closed. When I heard the revving of his Dodge Challenger, I knew he was gone.

I sighed in relief.

I heard Tanya race up the stairs and burst through the door. "Bee." She sat next to me on the bed and pulled me in for a tight hug. "He's gone now, let it out."

It was at that moment my eyes connected with the pictures of Edward and I that hung on the walls, and the gift I'd bought him for our one-year anniversary, which was one week away. A gift that I would never be able to give to him. I noticed all the things that reminded me of him all over my bedroom.

My body rocked with sobs that I had held in for what seemed like hours.

I was finally able to take the mask off.

I didn't have to be strong anymore.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Tanya whispered and rocked me in her arms until I faded into a dreamless sleep.

A/N: Based on some of the reviews, Edward wasn't liked all that much… so now how do you feel about him?

What are your thoughts about Tanya?

Do you think Bella handled situation right?

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