A/N. Heeyyyy. It's been a bit. Don't get angry. No, scratch that you can get angry. This was like four months in the making. But you know how it is. Life doesn't stop for anybody. But I'm back! And back with a vengeance. If you need a recap: "Arata is recovering from the fight against Nobuyuki, his previous caretaker, and afterwards vowed to stop being a bystander to the rest of his life and take it by the reins. He's a genin now, and he and his new team have been assigned to one of the sannin, Tsunade! Except she doesn't feel much like teaching (or anything at all.) Dan's death was recent, and with that she's descended onto a drunken and reveling mess. In the end, Arata managed to broker a deal with her. Give them a test to see if they're worthy of being her students. A bet to see if they can reach their new jounin-sensei, or end up stuck in the wallows of a career genin." Wow, that was weird. I have literally never in my life written like that before. I'm pretty sure that didn't ring how I wanted to, but screw it. Read this if you want! Have fun. Live life. All that.

This is it. Today's the day. At exactly midday we would walk into Tsunade's house, in a locked off room. She had sent a hawk concerning the details a few days ago. What we would be doing, what we had to bring, etc.

We had prepared for this day for months now. For the last week, we had decided to halt our team training and focus solely on studying. Spending a whole day studying and learning and calculating and writing and teaching and ordering and begging and pleading— It was exhausting. What was even worse was doing it the next day, and then the next. Sleepless nights and restless days all for this moment. I had abused every connection and favor I had. I had worked my body and chakra to the bone.

I had risked my relationship with my team. Spending six days locked in together focusing on cramming as much stuff into your brain as possible tends to make for grumpy children, and we were heinous. We snapped and griped and yelled and fought. We drew blood. We had threatened to walk out almost daily.

All of us stayed. I felt closer to my team now than I ever thought I would be. The times it had to come to blows we just treated as another opportunity to practice our medical jutsu. We were in this together.

I let out a controlled breath of air.

'Shiromaru. Are you ready?'

'Yeah. Course.'

'Gotta say, your confidence astounds me.'

Shiromaru didn't reply, just lazily shifted his head to be more comfortable from his position on mine. He was getting a little big to be staying there, but any attempt to pry him off was met with an hour long whine, so I left him there, even with my neck aching. He would grow out of it soon enough.

The whole squad had come together to walk to Tsunade's house as a unit, meeting up at Tetsuo's front door and going straight for the Senju compound. From their gait I could tell they were nervous. Tetsuo took fast, short little steps, hyper aware of everything around him, head turning this way and that at the smallest of unexpected noises. Ayame slalomed a little less than usual, a false cheer present on her features.

"You had a good night's sleep, Ayame?"

"No! But we're gonna ace this test!" She jumped up and squeezed my arm a little too harshly to be natural.

"Good enough. You?" I looked to Tetsuo.

He jittered his eyes, somehow, at me. "Sleep? What's that? Never heard of that! We don't need that! I don't need that!"

"So that's a no then." He was on some kind of drug on top of sleeplessness. Was it coffee? Or adderall? Either way he was going to crash soon and I hoped to dear Kami that it was after this stupid exam.

"Just keep your chakra in check for the practical yeah?" He nodded, or what I recognized as a nod between the shaking.

It was strange. Aside from some anticipation for what was to come, I didn't feel nervous at all. I felt perfectly calm, in fact, in between the storm of anxiousness that were my teammates. Maybe I should do something about that.

I had stopped, signaling for the others to do so as well. "Hey guys. Just so you know, I have full confidence we're all going to pass. Doesn't matter what happens in there. I know we'll come out on top. I believe in you two."

They stared at me as if I had grown a second head. "Yeah duh." Ayame said with the utmost certainty.

"We're worried about what'll happen afterwards." Tetsuo clarified. "She's like a bad person right? What if she messes up our training? On purpose? Or—or she's too drunk to take us on missions. She's an alcoholic too! What if she ends up in debt from her gambling?! Then what?!"

"Why are you worried about that now? Who even put these thoughts in your head?" It honestly wasn't even a consideration that she'd end up being a bad sensei, which should have occurred to me much earlier. Seems I had some work to do.

"Some girl I met on the street started talking to me about it! It got me really worried!"

"Really?! Me too!" Ayame bounced off from what he said. "She was all like: "Oh that Tsunade-shishou is always drinking her life away! Do you know she goes to sleep on the toilet sometimes?" Like that."

I facepalmed, almost dropping Shiromaru from my head. "That was obviously Shizune trying to scare you two away. Don't worry about her okay? Just focus on the test for now. What happens after that we will deal with after." I started walking again and the other two followed me.

"If you say so, Arata." Ayame muttered.

"That's right. I do say so." I said with confidence I wasn't sure I felt anymore. Is that nervousness I feel?

Oh of course I have to be anxious now.

Tsunade met us on the front porch of her house, gazing down at us imperiously. Surprisingly, she was sober.

I could hear the two kids behind me gulping as soon as they saw her. It wasn't just the Shizune influence either.

Tsunade is a war hero, and in a ninja village that means she was almost worshipped. And we had challenged someone like her. Everytime we mentioned her people would think we were crazy without even hearing the conditions of the bet. Honestly it would have been nice to have some positivity for a change, Shizuka.

Anyways, I ignored the standoff for what it was supposed to be and walked straight up to her.

"We're here to take the exam. Once we ace it, you'll teach us."

She folded her arms. "I know the conditions of the bet, you dolt."

"Just making sure you're not backing out on your end of the deal."

She sneered. "And you won't back out of yours either." With the hawk she had sent us was also the condition for what my end of the bet would be.

It was ryo. Shit tons of it. Enough to put a serious dent in our clan's finances. We would feel the impact for years to come. Rika-sama had been furious when she heard the amount. I was lucky I came out of that office alive. On the plus side, I got access to a whole array of clan resources to make sure that I won this bet. And the beating of a lifetime. So, trade offs.

"Sure. Can we come inside now?" I knew the defiant attitude wasn't gonna be very productive long term, but for now I needed her to know we weren't just something to throw away once she was done with us. She would teach us, and I had to make that clear.

She barely restrained from rolling her eyes, turning it into a turn of her head, her body following. "Come along then." She waved us in.

We left our sandals at the genkan and made our way inside the house following Tsunade. The place was a lot bigger on the inside than I imagined, having winding hallways made of wood and tatami mats spanning every direction. It would have felt like being led into the belly of the beast, if it didn't reek of loneliness. The emptiness was like a miasma that intensified with every silent turn. She took us along a seemingly random one leading to a room.

"This is where you'll be taking your theoretical exam. There are two parts. They are both three hours long, with one fifteen minute break in between."

Orochimaru was standing there, impatiently tapping his foot, a folder in one of his hands. "I will be proctoring and grading your exam to avoid the conflict of interest in the residing matter." Does the fact that being locked in a room for four hours with the Snake Sannin being a relief be a worry? I feel like it should. "The first round will test your basic academic requirements, while the second will focus on the medical and sealing aspects."

I gave him a nervous smile to express gratitude. He ignored it. Opening the sliding door to the room revealed four desks spaced an equal distance away from each other, as well as writing utensils and a calculator all neatly provided for us.

Wait, four?

I noticed a certain someone's heart rate speed up on top of my head. "I think this is the part where I wait for you three outside." Shiromaru hopped off of me and attempted to make a run for it.

Tsunade grabbed for him before he could skedaddle, holding him up by the scruff of his neck. "Nope. I know you two share minds, and in the event that they need to respond to an emergency medical situation, every hand needs to be on board. I can't have an uncertified ninja running around committing horrible cases of malpractice, so you'll be taking the goddamned test thank you very much."

Orochimaru took him off her, an act I was strangely glad for, (still the oddest feeling in the world. You'd think I'd feel more comfortable having him in the healer's grip.) and deposited him in the leftmost chair.

"Now, take your seats children. We don't have any time to waste."

We quickly did as asked, Shiromaru transforming into me as soon as he was released from Orochimaru's grasp. He did it without a pill too. So proud of him.

Once we were seated and comfortable, Orochimaru dropped a thick layer of paper on top of each of our desks. Our tests.

"You will begin as soon as I press this button on the stopwatch." He pressed the button with no warning. "Go."

I flipped the cover over as if it was a shuriken. No time to ponder. First question:

Xenobiotics which are inherently resistant to microbial attack are called as:

Persistent

Recalcitrant

Biodegradable

All of these

Duuuh. B. That's so obvious and basic. Wow, these might actually be eas—

2. Complete the following differentiation rules:

Product Rule: (f(x)*g(x))' =

Quotient Rule: (f(x)/g(x))' =

Chain Rule: (f(g(x)))' =

Oh yeah. No. Never mind. This'll be hard, hard lemon hard.

Oof. I feel like I just went to the bathroom with my mind, except it had diarrhea. Is it even legal to cram this much stuff into one test? I didn't even get to the end of it before I had to put it down. That's not a good sign, is it?

Damn.

"How y'all feeling?" I leaned against the wall and drank from a water bottle I had unearthed from my pack. The others were sipping on their own brought drinks. Ayame had orange juice and Tetsuo had milk. It felt appropriate.

Shiromaru looked too frantic to even try for his own water. We had tried our best to switch between our respective knowledge bases, tossing information around like we were playing tennis. It was more exhausting than I'd like it to be.

I don't know how well we'll be able to keep it up for the second round.

"Doing okay. It's just the basics now right?" Tetsuo said, drinking his milk as if it came from a sippy cup.

Ayame stayed uncharacteristically quiet, only nodding— oh no. She's trying to choke herself with orange juice. "Breathe Ayame, breathe."

"HEEEeuuuughh!" She let go of the straw in her mouth and came up for air violently, which I think says enough for her mental state right now.

"Let's hope the second round goes better."

The second round did, in fact, not go better.

This time I still had at least fifteen questions left to go before the time ran out. On the other side of the connection I could feel Shiromaru mentally tapped out, steam leaving his brain like a locomotive. He didn't get very far either.

"Congratulations, you've completed the theoretical exam." Orochimaru said in his dryest possible voice. He was clearly regretting agreeing to proctor the exam. There wasn't much excitement watching four grade school kids melt their brains on a test for six hours, after all. "you will be given another fifteen minute rest, after which you will begin the practical portion. Be sure to take the time to mentally and physically prepare yourselves. Do not underestimate the rigor of the following examination period." He said, reading off the script in his hands.

'This whole Sannin-sensei thing better be fucking worth it, bruh.' Shiromaru intoned.

'No kidding.'

Let's do this.

Oh you are fucking kidding me! The screams just keep going! I can't make him stop!

"What the hell kind of practical exam is this?!" I screamed, not even close to matching his volume.

"This is so not fun!" Ayame yelled, her hands soaked with blood, the flow not stopping anytime soon.

"Come on guys. This isn't so bad." Tetsuo tried to smile at us, but just then a spurt of blood released from the patient, hitting him straight in the face.

"Yeah. Not so bad." Shiromaru murmured, ordering the meager medical supplies we were so graciously granted.

Aaaaaargh! "This whole jounin-sensei business better be fucking worth it!"

In the corner, just watching us, Orochimaru sat in a comfortable looking chair, smiling innocently.

"Preaching to the choir here!" Shiromaru responded.

Another scream came from the patient.

Tsunade P.O.V.

I stormed through to sensei's office, ignoring his frantic assistant at the front desk and the kneejerk ANBU reaction. I had no patience for them today.

I slammed the folder down on his desk, paper rustling from the impact. "Explain this."

Sensei, in his all old-man glory, didn't look up from his own paperwork, his pipe already lit up. He had been smoking for a few hours, I could tell. If I cared about his wellbeing right now, that would concern me.

But since I don't… "Hey. I'm talking to you."

A bit of smoke left from his mouth. "It is customary, in civil conversation, to start with a greeting first." He wrote something on his stupid paper. "I am aware that I've had to teach your teammates as such, but I expected better from you." He looked up this time. Not at the files, at me. "Hello, Tsunade. What brings you to my office today?"

I bit down on my teeth. No sense losing my patience this early in. He wanted to dance, but I'm in no mood to tango. I need an explanation, and now.

"What is this?" I tapped the folder I had unceremoniously dropped onto his desk. Inside contained the profiles of three snot nosed brats, barely cognizant of their surroundings enough to notice the flickering shadows around them.

"May I?" He asked, reaching for the files as if he didn't already know exactly what was in them.

Three different faces looked back at him, their folders unusually thick for genin, which meant someone was keeping tabs on them. Someone who was working on very similar paperwork right now, in fact.

I obliged him, and he perused the children's profiles like he was reading the morning newspaper. Nonchalant. Casual.

He's trying to wind me up. Why? "Sensei, why are you throwing these three on me? You know I'm not gonna actually teach them anything."

He raised an eyebrow at me. "Aren't you?"

I gave him a flat stare. "I couldn't even if I wanted to." There were many reasons Orochimaru had to be the proctor of their exam, and not me. If I couldn't even do that much there really wasn't much hope for me left.

"I'm sure you could, if you put in the effort." He said, as if that just magically fixed all my problems. "You took Dan's little niece under your wing easily enough, didn't you?"

"Sensei. Reason. Explain." I did not like being here. It provoked bad memories. I'd much prefer to be at home right now, at least six drinks in, but no. I have to be here to deal with this shit.

"You've read their files, correct? That should speak for itself." He started lining up their profiles, their faces staring up and facing me. "They're all very talented, and could do well in the medical field, but what sets them apart is their potential as field operatives."

He pointed at the leftmost one. The Inuzuka. "Arata has a much larger than average reserve of yin chakra at his disposal, ideal for long procedures or a multitude of patients. On top of that, he has a very impressive repertoire of jutsu at his disposal." Next, he pointed at the middle one. The Sarutobi. "Ayame is a once-in-a-generation prodigy. Adept at just about anything she does, she punches well above her weight class. On top of that, she knew how to perform the Mystical Palm technique at the tender age of five." Lastly, he pointed at the Uchiha. "Tetsuo is, while not as martially gifted as his teammates, an unnaturally quick learner. Absorbing information and learning new concepts and ideas is like breathing to him, no doubt aided by his perfect eidetic memory."

He's talking them up like a sales pitch or something. As if I needed convincing. "It doesn't matter how well qualified they are. I'm not teaching them, and it didn't answer the question. Why are they on me?"

"You should know well enough by now that we'll need more medics in our ranks when this conflict escalates. It's better to start training them now, while we have the time." He chuckled. "Time. It's in short supply these days." He looked like he wanted to keep talking, but decided against it.

"If you want medics that bad you should send them to the hospital. There's plenty of staff there willing to train them."

"Something you've evidently made sure of." He remarked amusedly.

I could barely feel my fists clench. "The hospital is fine without me. I've said this many times before."

Sensei smiled. "Of course."

"So they should be handling the kids. Not me."

His smile came off just as soon as it came on. "Well. They could. However I do think it is best to have you train them instead. In the last war, your expertise and initiative is what salvaged our win, in the end. We couldn't have done that without you."

So? "What? You want me try that aga—you're trying to have me replaced." No. Hell, even worse. "You're trying to get me to replace myself." How I didn't see it earlier I have no fucking clue. Clan kids, all of them. Combat routed, but with a high potential for iryo-ninjutsu, taken up by a respected ninja in the village. Willful, but with an eagerness to prove themselves and the drive to do things on their own if necessary. The dots started lining up too closely for my liking. Linking back to how I was.

Hiruzen detected my change in attitude, growing a little wearier. He seemed to sag in his chair. "Tsunade, you're in a very… you have no need for me to tell you of what a delicate position you have in the village right now, don't you? If, while we were gearing up for war, one of our most esteemed ninja lazed about doing nothing, it would draw unnecessary attention. Attention better spent looking outwards, to our enemies."

Really? He's bringing up reputation now? Yeah, okay. I'm done with this. "I don't care. Fix this, or I'm leaving the village." You're just trying to protect yourself anyway.

"Have I touched a nerve? From what I understand, you've made a deal with the Inuzuka clan, have you not? I know about the exam you administered. I assume the results were satisfactory, if you've taken this long to take action on the subject."

Goddammit. How does he know about that!?

"Backing out on a bet isn't like you, Tsunade." A faux sort of concern seeped off of his words. "I don't see the reason for why you would want to back out of such a—"

No. That's it. I've had enough. I shoved the papers away on his desk and moved to leave. My hand was on the door, my grip strong enough to draw protesting creaks from the wood. Fuck this shit.

"Tsunade! Wait! That's an order!"

I was this close to just walking out anyway, but for some reason I couldn't explain, I stopped. I glared at him.

I'm listening.

"If you won't bow to your best interest, neither obligation nor your last remaining vestige of pride, then I will have to resort to having this be a transaction." He said, none of the amused aloofness present in his tone this time.

Fucking finally. This was the sensei I knew. Commanding, and straight to the point. None of this grandfather bullshit.

He stood up and made his way back to an inconspicuous looking filing cabinet. The one I knew sometimes held ANBU files. Why would he be reaching for that?

He took out a scroll from a pocket of space inside, and roughly shoved it back closed, unravelling the new scroll onto the desk.

"This is classified information, and will not leave this office, understand?"

I didn't give him any positive recognition, no nod or exclamation of assent, aside from closing the door again. He had my attention.

"An S-rank mission to Cloud. The third year of the war, september 23rd." I felt my chest sink. "An assassination mission, assigned to two squads of jounin for the head of the jinchuuriki of the Nibi, Fuji Senzou."

He can't be doing this right now! "The intent was to dissuade Cloud from entering the war. We succeeded in that endeavour. The cost however, was great."

I feel sick. "Four shinobi gave their life in service to the Will of Fire, and many were wounded. Nearby medics were dispatched as soon as possible, their own too injured to do anything more than keep them alive."

My vision started going, my breaths started coming harder and harder.

"Thankfully most of them managed to make a full recovery and report back to the village. All but one."

I— I have to make him—make him stop! Somehow!

"Unfortunately, one of them had lost too much blood in the altercation, and the medics could not revive him."

FUCK!

A loud noise broke his speech, his desk having been split in half.

"...But the story doesn't end there." His eye contact didn't waver from me, even as mine struggled to keep up. My knees could feel the chill of the ground they had hit.

"The events that were reported and the injuries that followed didn't match. At first, I dismissed it as a simple human error. The night was taxing for many, but looking into it further hinted towards more."

He rolled up the scroll, miraculously having retained no damage from the impact, and handed it to me. "Katou Dan didn't just die of blood loss. He was targeted, and he was killed."

I took it slowly, hands still shaking. My brain barely processed the words he was saying.

"I need you to find out why."

A/N. Yo. Hope you enjoyed that. I honestly can't get enough of writing Hiruzen talking to his students. IDK why, but here's another. Up next, Jiraiya? Maybe? Who knows. Anywhoz, listen up for a second! It's come to my attention that I need some help with this fic. Part of the delay in getting this out was the dread of what I'd have to write next. I have half the skeleton of a plot done for this arc, but nothing with flesh on it. So I need help. If you're interested in being a beta for this story, and have a good grasp on plot writing, please please please please please PM me. I'll need all the help I can get with this. Thank you!