AN: Happy New Year, Rushers! I took a little holiday break but I am back. Thank you for all the follows/favorites that were left on the first chapter. And for the review! I'd love to get at least 2 this time lol. The second chapter follows Elle getting two different pieces of news. I hope you enjoy.

I had a dreamless sleep, thanks to the sleeping pill I took. So when I woke up to stillness and not the rocking of the tour bus, I was confused for just a minute. But when I opened my eyes to my bedroom, it came crashing back.

Kendall had slept with me as a joke and shared my nudes. I had fled the tour and now I was in hiding.

And then the nausea that crept up my throat reminded me of the rest of it. I raced into the bathroom and threw up long enough to make me dizzy. I sat back on the floor and the panic that had been there last night picked up again.

I'm pregnant.

Probably.

That played on a loop in my head as I sat on the floor fighting tears and being sick again. Somehow, Kendall had managed to get me pregnant while fucking me as a bet. And now here I was, hiding in LA with morning sickness instead of being on tour.

"Elle? You okay?" Liz was at my bedroom door. "I'm coming in."

She crossed through my bedroom and into the adjoining bathroom. She saw me on the floor and frowned, holding out a glass of water.

"Don't worry, I'm not killing myself. But Kendick's kid is." I climbed to my feet and took a drink. "I was really hoping this was a dream."

Liz shot me a sympathetic look. "Dr. Campbell is here to draw some blood to confirm. He says you'll have the results in an hour or so. And then we can figure out what you want to do."

"Great, needles and getting sick. Love this for me."

Out in the living room, my doctor was set up with a kit and gloves. This was one of the perks of being among the rich and famous. Most things could be done as privately as possible. I prided myself on maintaining my sense of normalcy but today, I was grateful.

"Just a pinch." He slid the needle in and began filling the vial. "Home tests, especially ones with three positive results, are pretty reliable. But to cover our bases I'll get this to the lab and confirm if you're pregnant. From what Liz told me about your cycle, it's probably early days. And then we can talk about options."

I watched my blood fill the tube and tried not to think about how just a week ago, I had slashed my arms open and was found bleeding in my bed.

"Thanks. I appreciate it."

He finished drawing the blood, bandaged me, and packed up his kit. As Liz showed him out, I went back to the window and looked down. The paparazzi were still there even though I hadn't been outside in almost a week.

"Do you want some breakfast?"

The idea of putting anything in my mouth made me feel queasy and I shook my head. "No thanks."

"Elle, you need to eat something."

I rolled my eyes and turned from the window, crossing my arms. "I'd rather talk about next steps and figure out the tour than eat something right now. Which is saying a lot because I don't want to do that either."

"Fine. Have it your way."

I ran my hand through my hair. "Shit, Liz. I'm sorry. You've been nothing but amazing. I mean you always are but especially now. I know you're just worried."

I came and sat down in the plush armchair across from her and folded my legs under myself. She had her laptop open and a list of things to do. I couldn't help but notice one of them was "Talk to Dani". She was the head of the label and technically both of our bosses.

"Did you tell the label yet? About you know..." I trailed off vaguely pointing at my stomach. "Because I don't think there's a point until we know for sure. Tests are wrong all the time."

I could tell Liz didn't buy my attempt at comforting myself and that she knew, as well as I did, that I was pregnant. But she shook her head.

"No, not yet. Especially depending on what you decide to do. There's no reason to tell her, not that she wouldn't be supportive of any choice. The label is 100% on your side."

This was reassuring. Dani and the label had been supportive during the Jett Incident but there had been a moment where Liz had to fight to keep me signed. But this time, because it was obvious I was a victim, they were probably less concerned about public opinion.

"I don't know what I want yet." I started cautiously. "I mean, I know I want this to not be happening. But as far as you know, having it or not, I don't want to think about any of it. I want to figure out the tour and the album first. That's more important to me right now."

"Do you want to go back on tour?"

As much as Kendall lying to me hurt and being exposed made me want to die, I was mostly pissed. I had worked so hard on my comeback and being on this tour. And he ruined it. I should have been getting ready for a day of interviews and a show. But instead, I was here because he ruined it for me.

The desire to never see him again was strong but my need to be back on stage outweighed it tenfold.

"I hate him but I love performing more. It's what I'm meant to do and I'm finally back to doing it." I scrubbed my hand over my face. "And I don't even know if they guys will have me back or if the label thinks I should. But I really don't want to run away again. I can't wait another two years to try and make a comeback."

Liz seemed like she understood and pointed to her screen. "Well, I've already talked to Gustavo. He's more than willing to have you back and make arrangements regarding Kendall. I don't know what the guys are thinking but it's obvious they care about you."

"I want to talk to them first. If I were them, I wouldn't want all this drama on my tour. Can you set up a call with them? Kendall can't know I'm thinking about coming back, he'll probably think I'm coming back for him and I can't give him that power."

I watched as she started typing and could feel myself perking up. Being in charge of my situation instead of helplessly blindsided like last time felt good. Jett releasing the video had come out of left field and I had to do what the label thought was the best form of damage control. This time, I had more confidence and knew that I wasn't going to disappear from the spotlight again no matter how much I wanted to. And if I was being honest with myself, thinking about the tour and my album was a welcome distraction from the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. If I allowed myself to think about the tests that were sitting in my garbage, I feared I would go numb again and not resurface.

"Elle? Hello?" Liz was waving her hand in front of my face and my eyes snapped up to meet hers. But she was looking down at my lap. "Are you feeling okay? Are you going to be sick?"

"No, uh, just distracted." I followed her gaze and found that my hand had drifted to my stomach. I quickly grabbed my tea with both hands. "The album should still come out soon. I know I still have some songs to write but I have plenty of inspiration. I don't think we need to push back the release date."

If Liz thought I was acting out of character given the current situation, she didn't make it obvious. I couldn't ignore the other problem forever, but I could at least figure out everything else. Plus, Liz had always dealt with crises by coming up with a game plan. I was heartbroken and angry and scared but the sooner I could get back to the stage and my fans, the better I would feel.

Or at least that's what I was telling myself.

Liz fired off some emails and I let her feed me some plain toast. My doctor had texted to let me know that he was processing my sample and would call me with the results soon. Last time, I had to go into the office and confirm in person that Jett had left me with more than just nightmares. Back then, there had been no doubt in my mind that I wanted an abortion. I had scheduled it and was ready but I lost it before the appointment. This time, for whatever reason, I had no immediate feeling about it. The only thing I really wanted was for none of this to have ever happened. I wanted to take back every kiss, every secret smile, and every night I had spent with Kendall.

But what did I want to do about the fact that I was pregnant? No idea.

I tried to picture myself taking the pills to fix everything and going back to normal. And I tried to picture myself with a bump and picking out paint colors for a nursery.

I saw and felt drawn to neither.

Anyone else in my shoes would probably have some kind of reaction. But maybe I had been through so much that the part of my brain responsible for making decisions like this had stopped working.

James' name lighting up my screen made me look up from my plate. I hadn't talked to him or the other guys since I left and hearing his voice made my heart warm.

"Elle, it's me. Carlos and Logan are here too."

The lump in my throat surprised me. "G-guys. Hi."

"It's so good to hear your voice." Carlos' words were rushed. "I'm so glad you're okay."

Logan chimed in next. "We've been thinking about and sending you good thoughts. And we just want you to know how sorry we are for what he did."

I excused myself from the kitchen and made my way down the hall and into my room. "It's good to hear from you guys. I'm sorry for everything that happened."

"You're sorry?" James was incredulous. "Fuck that. We're sorry our friend is an asshole and did that to you. We wanted to call sooner but Gustavo and Kelly said we should let you rest. But then he told us Liz said you needed to talk to us?"

James' apology made me feel more at ease. "I do but is Kendick around? I don't want him to overhear anything."

"He's hungover and asleep in his bunk and we're inside the venue," Carlos promised. "And obviously we won't let him know we called you."

The smile that pulled at my face was the first real one in a week. "You guys are the best. I don't deserve you."

"We don't deserve you. How are you?" Carlos doubled back. "Stupid question, I just mean I'm glad you're still here."

"Thanks, Los. I'm glad I'm here too." I stared down at the hand I currently had on my middle. "And I've been better. I have some stuff to figure out still."

"We'll be here for whatever you want to do."

This made me feel better and I was surprised to find myself nervously pacing back and forth. "Liz and I were talking about what I'm doing next. And I've been thinking about it and I want to come back to the tour."

"You want to come back?"

Heat rushed to my face and prickled up my neck. Of course they didn't want me back. Who could blame them?

"I understand if you don't want me or think it's a bad idea but I really want-"

"No, no, no. Elle, of course, we want you to come back. You're our friend. But do you really want to come back after what Kendall did?"

"I don't want to see him and I don't want to ever sing our stupid duet again. But the stage is where I belong and all I want to do. I waited so long after the Jett stuff to come back and I regret it. I don't want this to make me hide again." My hands were shaking as I looked out the window down at the crowd. "And my fans, they've been by me through everything. I owe it to them to finish the tour."

Logan's voice was warm through the static of the phone. "Get back out here then."

"Really?"

"Fuck Kendall and Jo and everything else. You belong on this tour more than he does." James' next words were hushed. "Gustavo already said he'd do pretty much anything to get you back if you were up to it."

There was some whispering on their end and it sounded like someone had covered the phone. "Guys? You still there?"

"Um, we're not supposed to tell you but now that we know that you want to come back what it means to you, I feel kind of feel like we have to." James was saying as came back to the phone. "And just know that you absolutely do not have to and we support you, no matter what."

"James, what the hell are you talking about?"

"Gustavo and Liz added a second leg to the tour." Carlos blurted it out.

"Wait. What do you mean?"

Logan let out a long sigh. "Gustavo told us that the numbers for the rest of the tour made both of our labels confident enough to add a second leg of the tour. We were going to hit new cities in the US and go back to the ones that were sold out and one night only. And you were supposed to be promoted to co-headliner."

This was the last thing I had ever expected to hear and was enough to make my head spin. Co-headling was a huge deal for me and this comeback. It would mean equal performance time, equal billing on tickets and posters, and equal pay. I had headlined two smaller tours before but to do it all in arenas? That was the next level, I could do so much more with stage design, costumes, and the music.

"What? Why didn't they tell us? Did you know before me?"

"No, we swear. Kelly told us by accident after you left. We were all so scared you wouldn't make it and she said that she wished you had the chance to find out. It just slipped out." James was quick to explain and sounded rattled thinking about those hours when no one knew if I'd make it. "And then once you were okay, we asked Gustavo about it."

"Is it still happening? Does Kendall know?"

"We told Gustavo we didn't want to do it without you. And Kendall knows but honestly he's been too drunk or high and crying to care about anything."

"I need to talk to Liz." My words were clipped. "I want to, more than anything. I'll talk to you later."

I stormed out into my living room and she saw my face and frowned. "Did Dr. Campbell call yet?"

"When were you going to tell me about the tour being extended?" I demanded.

"Oh, Elle." Her shoulders sagged. "Did the guys tell you?"

"They said that Kelly accidentally told them but Gustavo said it's true. And they don't want to do it if I don't want to." I was beyond frustrated. "Co-headliner, Liz. For an all-arena tour. This is what we've been working towards. How could you not tell me?"

Liz sighed and rubbed her hands on her jeans. "I promise you I was going to. The plan was to tell you all after the show as a surprise. That's why I was in meetings all day and not actually at the venue. Griffin, Dani, Gustavo, and I were finalizing contracts and details."

It felt like a punch to the stomach. The dream was to always do an all-arena tour. And after the Jett Incident getting to co-headline my first tour back would have made my comeback official and undeniable. To be so close to reaching a massive dream of mine and then have it taken hurt in a different but worse way than what Kendall had done. I wiped at my cheeks when I realized I was crying.

"Are you fucking serious? I was that c-close, literally just the rest of the show to finding that out?"

Liz avoided my eyes and let out a long breath. "Yes and I'm so sorry. I don't know why they'd even tell you."

"Because I told them there's nothing I want more than to get back on the road! I want to go back on this tour and fix my reputation. They told me because they know how much it means to me." My voice was shrill. "I'm not hiding again. Kendall fucked up and fooled me but I'm not letting another stupid man ruin things for me."

"No of course not but-"

"But nothing. When I woke in that hospital bed wishing I was dead, I decided that if I had to still be alive I needed something positive to come from this summer no matter what. This is it. This is everything I've wanted and have been working towards."

"If you want to go back out that's fine. I agree you shouldn't hide. I just think that we should think we need to talk through all the details and make sure you can handle this. What happens when you see him again?"

"I'm going to punch him in the face and then make the best album I can." My buzzed in my pocket and I fished it out. It was the doctor. "One second."

I crossed over to the balcony that had been off-limits this past week.

"Elle, I don't think you should-"

"I'm not going to fling myself off, I promise." I stepped out into the sunshine and slid the thick glass door shut. "This is Elle."

"Elle, hi. I'm here at the office and I ran your sample, twice to be sure. You're definitely pregnant. Six weeks from your last period but we'll need to do an ultrasound to confirm."

There it was. I couldn't be in denial or try to convince myself it was a series of faulty tests. My knees felt weak and I stumbled to a patio chair to sit down, my cheeks were hot as panic flooded my body. Kendall had gotten me pregnant and there was no way around it. It felt like alarm bells should have been going off but there was only the sound of Dr. Campbell clearing his throat.

"Ms. Harper? Are you there?"

"Are they okay?" For some reason, this was the only thought I could force out of my mouth. "I drank a lot on tour and when I got back to LA. And I-I lost of lot of blood and took sleeping pills. Fuck, I smoke too. Are they okay?"

What the hell was that? Why was this the only thing I was concerned about? Not the fact that it was Kendall's or that I was trying to save my career. I needed to know if they were going to be okay. I clearly hadn't been getting enough sleep.

"Depending on what decision you're planning on making," He started delicately. "That may not be relevant. But if it is, the baby would probably be okay and we would do some screenings to rule anything out. Did you know what you were going to do?"

"No," I answered too quickly and backpedaled. "Uh, I'm not sure yet."

"You have plenty of time. When you're ready to set up an appointment for any type of decision just let us know."

My phone dropped from my hand to the chair I was in as I hung up. The panic that took over last night was back and I wiped at the tears that were burning in my eyes. Down below the men with their cameras, were lying in wait for a glimpse of me. They were waiting to catch me at my most vulnerable. And now I was even more delicate than I had thought I was. I needed to protect myself and this tiny secret from the world until I figured out what to do.

I sat there for a minute letting the heat of the sun warm my numb body. There were a lot of decisions to be made. But one thing was crystal clear. I walked back inside and Liz looked up expectantly.

"I have a tour to get back to."

AN: Elle is 100% pregnant with Kendall's baby and has been promoted to co-headliner! How will the tour being extended impact Kendall and Elle, especially now that Elle is pregnant? And what do we think of her hesitation about deciding to have the baby? Let me know what you think and what your favorite part was. Would love to have a discussion! I should be back with part 3 next week. Thanks!