AN: Was January the longest month for anyone else or was that just me? Anyway, I fleshed out the plot a little more and am excited for the chapters to come. I hope you enjoy this update and let me know what you think!

"Elle! Look here!"

"Are you officially rejoining the tour?"

"How do you feel about your nudes being leaked?"

I pushed my oversized sunglasses up my face and kept my head down as I followed my security from the terminal to the car. I had just landed in Detroit to come back to the tour. It had been two weeks since Kendall had set my world on fire.

It had also been a week and a half since I found out I was pregnant. But I was actively not thinking about it.

Liz was not thrilled about this and kept trying to bring it up at every turn. When I had come back in from the balcony, that had been the first thing she wanted to talk about.

...

"I have a tour to get back to."

I was confident that this wasn't what she was expecting me to say because she motioned to my phone.

"Was that the doctor? Did he confirm?"

"It's super early. I was thinking about it last night and it probably happened in South Carolina. The timeline makes sense. That was four weeks ago, two weeks before that was my period. So here we are six weeks later." I thought back to the day after our first time. We had been in South Carolina when he'd come into my dressing room and pressed me up against the door. My head had been too flooded with lust to even think about a condom. All I had wanted was pleasure and to be connected to him and we had made a baby along the way.

I sat next to her and my brave facade was slipping. "Which means I was stupid and reckless after sleeping with him twice."

"Do you need me to make an appointment for you? It's early enough that the pill is an option."

I shook my head. "This is going to sound incredibly stupid but I don't want to do anything about it. I just don't want to let Kendall wreak more havoc on my body than he already has. But I also don't want to see any more b-blood or feel any pain right now. I'm still so hurt and sad but I'm just starting to feel like myself."

She grabbed my hand. "That's not stupid, Elle. You've been through a lot in such a short amount of time."

"He said I have plenty of time to make a decision. And I just don't want to go from overdosing to taking anything else yet." I pointed to the piano across the room. "I want to get back to music for now."

...

That had been a week ago. I had spent the days between deciding to go back on tour to now working on my voice. Between all the crying and getting my stomach pumped my voice needing coaxing back to where it had been.

I knew part of my newfound work ethic was me trying to distract myself. I was excited about the tour and the promotion. But in the quiet moments, it was hard to not want to slide back into the darkness and heartbreak I had felt the moment I saw Kendall hand in hand with Jo.

The feelings I had for him were real. He had made me feel seen and safe enough to trust again. But it had blown up in my face for the whole world to see. And now I just felt sick.

Literally and figuratively.

My stomach felt constantly nauseous and my appetite was nonexistent until late afternoon. It felt like a flu I couldn't shake. Even now, I had my head back against the window and willed the queasiness to pass.

"Can we make sure that the tech crew and Gustavo know that I won't soundcheck with Kendall around?" I asked, trying to keep my mind off the way my stomach was turning.

"Of course. It's already handled and he wants to go over your requests when we get to the venue."

"Great because I have enough to deal with without having to deal with Kendick." I gestured to my stomach. "This is already enough."

"Speaking of...that." She pointed in my direction. "Any thoughts on what you might want to do?"

"Not yet. I want to get through today first." When Liz squirmed at this I rolled my eyes. "I want just one day of being back on tour where my thoughts aren't consumed by figuring this out."

The crowds of paparazzi that were outside the venue were overwhelming. I was used to seeing fans outside the venue, they liked to buy merch early and socialize before the shows. And usually, one or two local news vans were there to cover the concert. There had never been men with cameras chasing down my car, not even in the days after the Jett Incident. But now, they pounded on the windows and the flashes from their cameras illuminated the tinted windows. I didn't pull my hands away from my face until we were behind the gates of the arena. Even then, I could still hear their shouting.

"So much for keeping a low profile." I attempted to make a joke but I was thoroughly rattled.

Liz didn't look impressed and was already typing away on her phone. "I'm seeing what we can do about getting security to clear our entrances and exits. Hopefully, it dies down once the novelty of you being back wears off."

Walking back into a venue for the first time in two weeks brought an unexpected mix of emotions. On one hand, it looked like any other venue with gray brick walls, dingy concrete floors, and stagehands and crew members bustling around to make sure we'd be able to perform. But on the other hand, I thought would never be back in an arena and able to perform again. Let alone be a headliner for a sold-out tour. I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat and steeled myself. Liz and I were headed to Gustavo's makeshift office to talk over my requests to stay on tour. The last thing I needed, was to look weak. It wasn't my fault, but I had caused enough drama and didn't want to lose this promotion because I didn't seem up to it.

"Elle, thank god!" Kelly sighed in relief the moment I stepped into the room. "It's so good to see you."

"Hey, Kel. Good to see you too." I drew in a breath as we broke apart. "Gustavo, hi. Thanks for having me back. I know I caused a lot of strife and I'm so-"

He held up a hand as he looked over me. "Don't."

The rest of my apology trailed off and I felt the hairs on my neck stand up. I was going to have to fight for this. What if Gustavo didn't want me back as much as the guys had made it seem?

"I really am sorry. I never-"

"Seriously, Elle. Please don't apologize, I don't want to hear it." He took up his sunglasses and rubbed at his forehead. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for letting Kendall treat you how did at the start of the summer and I'm sorry for what happened two weeks ago. I'm glad you're alright and the label and I want to do what we can to make this right."

My urge to fight morphed into confusion. Gustavo was apologizing to me? This was the same man who screamed if harmonies weren't right and pounded on the piano until he could think of lyrics. And now, he looked remorseful? This was beyond out of character and I turned to Liz to make sure she was seeing this too. She just gestured for me to sit.

"Yeah, he's a real asshole," I said before I could think better of it. "Uh, I want to thank you for promoting me to be a headliner alongside the guys. It means a lot to me and I know my personal life got in the way but I promise I can be professional."

He leaned over his desk. "Elle, please. Drop the niceties, we all saw what he did and we all see how talented you are. We're just glad you're safe and willing to come back."

"Gustavo and I wanted to go over changes to the tour and see what you're comfortable with," Liz spoke up. "We all want to do what we can to make sure you feel safe about coming back."

After Jett released the video, I had been at the mercy of my label, Condor Records, and their men in suits. I had lied and pretended I had been the drunk party girl who had a little too much fun. I had groveled and done what the publicists wanted me to do. So to have Gustavo and Rocque Records ask what I wanted, threw me for a loop.

"I don't want to ever sing that duet again," I said quickly. "I know it's popular, but I won't do it. And I don't want to be on stage with him again."

"Done. We were thinking he could be offstage during the songs you sing with the guys."

"That works. And I want my own bus. I refuse to be stuck with him like that."

"We have a separate bus for you en route. It should be here in the next hour." Kelly smiled. "And your stuff will be loaded up by the time we leave tonight."

I went over the rest of my needs and was pleased when Gustavo and Liz gave in to all of them. We'd have separate studio sessions, and dressing rooms that were further apart, and Kendall would be under a strict contract to not post anything bad about me. The duet was taken off the setlist and I agreed that I would do interviews with the band but questions would be prescreened. The only thing I gave in on was the occasional performance on TV that might cause us to be on the stage at the same time. But other than that, Gustavo was willing to give me what I wanted for me to feel safe enough to come back. The last few details for the extension were still being worked out so we'd all sign those contracts in a few day's time. I would spend the next few weeks crafting a new setlist and working with the stage designer to work out new lighting and effects for my portion of the show. I would headline when the extension started next month. But for now, I had done everything I needed to.

"I think that's all I have but if I think of anything else I'll let you know."

"Of course. We're going to bring in Kendall to discuss the changes and make sure he knows he's not just professionally obligated but contractually."

I stood up, anxious to leave and avoid seeing him "Thank you, for everything."

Gustavo was uncharacteristically warm. "We're so glad you're okay."

With that, I was back in the hallway to head to my dressing room to look over outfits for tonight. I was still wearing thick bandages on my arms and I wanted to keep them hidden under long sleeves.

"Elle?"

I turned to see Carlos, James, and Logan outside the door of their dressing room. They all wore apprehensive smiles.

"Guys, hey." My voice was soft as I waved. "It's good to see you."

Carlos stepped in first and held out his arms and I accepted his hug. He squeezed me tight.

"It's so good to see you again, Elle."

I winced slightly at the crushing feeling against my breasts. They had grown sensitive over the past few days, another reminder of the decision that loomed over my head. But for now, I let the guys hug me, melting in their embrace.

Logan and James were less shy now and also pulled me into hugs.

"She's back!" James teased. "I missed you."

"We're so happy to see you."

I was surprised to find myself emotional. When I had left New York, I had been so focused on never seeing Kendall again that I hadn't stopped to think about how much I would miss the other three guys. We had grown close over the summer and they had proven to be some of my best friends.

"I'm happy to see you guys too." I let out a breath. "Part of me didn't think I would."

"We're so sorry for everything that happened."

I sniffed and wiped at the hot tears that formed in my eyes. I hadn't expected to ever see these three people again and to be welcomed by them made me emotional.

"Come on, sit down." James ushered me into their dressing room and into a chair. "It's so fucking good to see you, Elle."

"I missed you guys. I didn't realize how much until just now." I took the tissue box Carlos held out. "After the Jett Incident, I forgot what it's like to have real friends."

This made them all frown. "Nothing is ever going to change that."

"Yeah? What about Kendick? He's been your friend since elementary school. And the expression is bros before hoes."

I wasn't trying to be funny but we all managed to laugh. "Kendall is a dick. He's not being the guy we grew up with." Logan reasoned. "He knows that our friendship is going to take a long time to fix."

"Let's just hope he doesn't try to fix anything with me."

"He won't come near you if you don't want him to. We won't let him get close to you ever again."

I appreciated this and it was the ideal situation. I would get to achieve my goal of headlining my first arena tour and then never see Kendall again. After this summer, I would be free to headline even bigger tours and leave this fucked up detour behind.

"Elle, are you okay? You look a little green."

And there it was, the one thing that could keep me from ever being able to fully forget this summer. I swallowed hard and folded my arms over my middle. Even though I looked exactly the same, I felt like it was obvious.

"I'm fine. Thinking of Kendall just makes me sick." I ran my hand over my forehead, feeling a headache coming on. "I already know he's going to try and get me to forgive him."

"He's already said if he ever sees you again, he'll do anything to make things right," Carlos warned. "We told him leaving you alone is the best thing he could do for you. But just as a heads up."

"I just met with Gustavo, Kelly, and Liz to go over what I need to come back. They should be meeting him right now to tell him he has to leave me alone." I stood up and shook out my nerves. "In fact, I should go hide out in my dressing room before he tries to come find me."

Out in the hallway, I saw some of the crew working to get the stage ready for tonight and Liz was on the phone. She mouthed "Dani" to me and I pointed down the hall towards my dressing room. Even though I felt like I was constantly looking over my shoulder for Kendall, it felt good to be back in my element. I opened the door with my name on it and was relieved to find Kendall hadn't stowed away in here. All the furniture and requests I had picked out at the start of the tour were set up just the way I liked them. Including the pack of cigarettes that followed me everywhere. It was a habit I wasn't proud of. It was gross and unhealthy, but after years of dating Jett who regularly did coke and took pills, this seemed like the lesser of two evils. I almost went to light one when I remembered.

"Probably should pass until I figure out what I'm doing."

I couldn't help but pull my shirt over the light brown skin of my stomach and look in the mirror. It was still as normal as ever, with no signs that something was different. I knew this wouldn't be the case for much longer depending on my choice. When I tried to scope out how I felt about having a baby or not having one, it made my head hurt.

My craving for a cigarette was intense so I made myself a strong cup of tea, adding in the cold water and honey at the end. It didn't calm as much as a long inhale of smoke would but it kept my hands busy and didn't upset my stomach.

I looked at the rack of stage outfits and searched for all of the long-sleeve options to decide which ones were dark enough to hide my bandages. I flipped to the next one and tried to block out the memory of Kendall's reaction to a sparkly gold one that still hung on the rack. I had tried it on before the tour started. His green eyes had burned holes into my body and had been filled with what I thought was disdain but turned out to be lust. I had worn that outfit the night I sang Body Say and he had ripped it from my body in my dressing room. We hadn't had a condom then either but it hadn't mattered. I was already pregnant and had no idea.

I tried to put all of this out of my mind as I landed on a dark blue sparkly long-sleeve outfit to wear tonight. I would be getting a bigger budget for outfits and made a mental note to add more long sleeves. Liz's knock on the door came as I pulled a second outfit choice from the hanger.

"Come in! I was looking through outfits for tonight, now that I have more money to play with, I think we should add some more long-sleeve choices I don't want my arms on display for the whole world to-"

I looked up and the sight of green eyes in the mirror made my knees buckle and my mouth go dry. It was Kendall. He looked nothing like the man I had spent the last few weeks with. He was pale and his blonde hair was greasy and flat on his head. The color matched the scruff that had grown on his jawline which had a nauseating purple and yellow bruise. He was dressed in a thick black hoodie and I could smell the smoke and stale liquor from here and it made my stomach queasy. Bloodshot green eyes stared back at me, one was blackened and bruised. And finally, his pink bottom lip was split but still had broken into a small smile.

The cup of tea tumbled from my hand, splashing onto my legs that were in shorts. The burning liquid should have made me jump but I was numb and there was ice in my veins as I stared at the man in front of me. All the air had deflated from my lungs and I couldn't speak as he came towards me, still wearing that small and awed smile.

"Baby, hi."

AN: He's baaaack. How do we think it'll go when Elle comes face to face with Kendall on top of being pregnant? What was your favorite part? More soon and please review :) Thanks for reading.