A/N — I thought that I uploaded this chapter last week. I did not. Thank you, Aspect, for telling me that it was missing. Faceplant. xoxo — kals
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Chapter 24
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Sasha gazed out the window of her new office. Upon accepting the position as head of DIA, she initially assumed that she would be based out of DIA headquarters, but a discussion with General Williams quickly quashed that idea. They were looking — at best — at fifty percent of the pre-pandemic employees, given the combination of those lost through death or permanent disability, plus those seeking hardship discharges to care for family. So, instead of reopening the building where Sasha admittedly spent almost no time, General Williams gave Sasha the choice of working from the Pentagon or Langley. She chose the Pentagon.
The fact that Tom was also working out of the Pentagon had nothing — or everything — to do with the decision.
A week had passed and despite filling every day with an unending list of things that needed to be done, Sasha found herself unable to stop thinking about those moments at the safe zone.
Marriage.
She could tell that Tom was aware of her distraction, but he hadn't asked, and Sasha was uncertain whether she appreciated his patience or not.
Because it gave her too much time to think.
Snorting, Sasha realized how ridiculous she sounded. She was literally in the process of rebuilding Naval Intelligence from the ground up, having lost almost three-quarters of her field agents and half of her officers. While Admiral Branch made the smart decision to shut down the building early, and thereby avoided an outbreak, the majority of the Navy personnel were reassigned to Fort Detrick and then to Fort Lejeune under Colonel Hurtado's command. She could ask to get them back, but how could she ask to pull people off vaccine distribution in favor of rebuilding their intelligence network? At least she managed to get Pablo assigned to her, rather than Langley. With a skeleton team of Shannon, Danny and Pablo, Sasha felt like there was a fighting chance of ensuring that they weren't caught off guard by an attack by Russia or China or whoever-the-hell-was-angry-at-them-today.
As if that wasn't enough, Sasha found her evenings cram packed as well. There had been the slightly awkward dinners with Sam and Ashley. Jed had only dined with them once since the first night, a development that Sasha found suspicious until Ashley casually mentioned that Friday night was Jed's dinner night. The kids had left earlier today with Darien, heading back to Norfolk to pack up their things for the move to Alexandria. Sasha expected more protesting from Ashley, recalling how she would have felt if she was yanked out of school at that age, but upon broaching the subject, discovered how much the world had changed for Ashley as well. With the virus still spreading, schools were closed indefinitely, and both Sam and Ashley had lost friends. Of those who had survived, many had parents in the Navy who didn't. Shannon ran some projections the other day and determined that it was likely Norfolk would lose sixty percent of its pre-virus population, given that it was one of the hardest hit cities in the United States, the virus accidentally brought back on a cruise ship designed to evacuate healthy refugees from Europe. That matched up with Ashley's assertion that the only people she even knew in Norfolk anymore were the Slattery girls. On the positive side, Tom was able to find a working school for the kids to attend in Alexandria, one that would likely be full of the children of government and military officials brought to DC in an effort to rebuild the government and military.
Realizing that there was no point trying to work through the stack of paperwork that Shannon had left on her desk, Sasha leaned back in her chair, propping her feet on her desk. In some ways, she had always known that marriage would be the ultimate outcome of any relationship with Tom. There had never been any in-between with the two of them, merely together or not together. The idea of casually dating at this point was somewhat ridiculous. Frankly, even keeping her own apartment was ridiculous. Tom spent every night there unless he was with the kids and, once Tom found a townhouse that he liked in Northern Virginia, Sasha suspected that she would be spending most, if not all, of her nights there. The only real question that remained in Sasha's mind was whether they took the leap and made it all official.
Married.
Fourteen years ago, Sasha never questioned that they would, eventually, marry. Seeing it as no more than the next step, a natural progression in their life together. This time, she was less certain, far more understanding of how easily even the most secure of bonds could be broken. But would marriage change that either way? Tom had said that he would wait this time, and Sasha believed him. He hadn't broached the topic of marriage, other than the one time and that clearly had been a joke, yet Sasha knew Tom well enough to realize that he was too traditional to live together indefinitely. Plus, they had to consider Ashley and Sam. Was it fair to them for Sasha to occupy some type of undetermined position in their lives? Sasha didn't object to being Dad's girlfriend right now, but what about in a year or two or ten?
"Admiral Cooper?" Shannon asked, head popping into her office. She laughed suddenly. When Sasha raised an eyebrow, Shannon explained. "Benz has taken to calling you Admiral Chandler the Second. He's running a betting pool on when you'll change your name."
Sasha pursed her lips in an attempt to hide her amusement, before giving a slight chuckle. Trust Benz to cut to the heart of the matter. "Actually, I was thinking about using Admiral Zaslavsky going forward."
Shannon stepped further into Sasha's office, shutting the door behind her. "Does that mean you're done with fieldwork?"
"I rather think that choice has been made for me," Sasha replied, thinking about the number of times her face had been flashed on television screens in the last few weeks. Granderson's final revenge, as it were, was throwing Sasha's name to the press as the behind-the-scenes coordinator of President Gispert's rescue. Sasha might have — probably would have — been able to control Barnes but the mainstream press was different. If Sasha were to return to the field, it would only be for military, as opposed to covert, operations. "If you're here for this paperwork, it's not done."
Shannon mock frowned. "You know it won't do itself."
"But eventually you'll get annoyed and use that handy-dandy stamp of my signature to take care of it yourself," Sasha replied, grinning.
That drew a chuckle. "Admiral Chandler wanted to know if you were available for coffee at sixteen hundred. I checked your calendar, and you don't have any other calls or meetings, if you wanted to play hooky. He suggested that place on Crystal City Drive."
Sasha tried to figure out why Tom would suggest coffee when they saw each other this morning when they drove to the Pentagon and would see each other tonight on the drive home as well. Still, he had picked her favorite coffee place. Making a snap decision, Sasha leaned forward. "If I'm leaving early, I better dig into this stack."
xxxxx
"Kara!" Sasha called, catching sight of the woman just before she disappeared around a corner. Kara paused, allowing Sasha to catch up. "I didn't expect to see you here."
Kara's smile seemed strained. "Rachel is testifying to Congress again so I took advantage of the time to bring by these requests for additional personnel to assist with vaccination delivery. We've finally got production going at full speed but had to back off because we've filled the warehouse."
Sasha considered the problem for half a second. "Tell Danny to ask Shannon for help. We've been working to recall recently discharged personnel. Some of them might be able to help with vaccine distribution."
"Thank you, I will," Kara replied, a brief smile crossing her face, before her shoulders slumped again.
Normally, Sasha wouldn't have said anything. Still, after what they went through together in Mexico, Sasha couldn't just walk away. "Are you okay? You seem ... tired."
"I'm..." Kara began, before releasing a sigh, as though she too had decided that there was no point in pretense. "I'm exhausted. I didn't realize before how little Rachel slept. And since Danny loses his mind every time he sees me drinking coffee, I'm stuck with tea and it is not the same. So far Danny's refrained from saying I told you so, but only because he's afraid that I'll throw something at his head. And, for the record, I have excellent aim."
"I saw your qualifications," Sasha replied without thinking.
Kara raised an eyebrow. "When you did a background check on me?"
"Of course not," Sasha retorted, before cracking a smile. "I had Shannon do it. I assume Danny told you?"
Laughing, Kara shook her head. "I've worked with you long enough to get a sense of how you work, Sasha. And you give new meaning to the word thorough. You probably put in as many hours as Rachel."
Remembering those early days in the Arctic, trying to keep up with Rachel and Quincy, Sasha made a face. "Not quite. But, you know, Kara, if you ever want a different job..."
Before she could finish, Kara laughed, her eyes sparkling. "Do you really think that I don't know you and Admiral Chandler have some kind of competition going over who Danny works for? I'm not touching that with a ten-foot pole."
Not bothering to deny the accusation — it was true that, if she was able to get both Danny and Kara working for her, Sasha would have made a point to inform Tom of such a coop immediately and frequently thereafter — Sasha simply smiled. "In case you change your mind, just know that I would have offered you a job even if you had no connection to either Tom or Danny. It's not often that I run into anyone as cool as you are, Commander Green."
After a moment, Kara smiled back. "If I ever need a career change, I'll let you know." She was several steps down the corridor before she added. "And, in the interest of fairness, I would really need to tell Admiral Chandler as well."
xxxxx
Tom sat in the corner of the bakery-slash-coffeeshop, waiting for Sasha to appear. She was five minutes late — which was very out of character — but given the amount of work on her plate, Tom wasn't worried. Yet. He took another sip of his apple cider. Jed recently mentioned that this was the best cider in Alexandria, but Tom wasn't so sure. It rather tasted like over-priced apple juice to him and he was regretting not getting coffee. At least the muffin that he picked was good.
The bakery door opened again and Tom glanced up, rising to his feet as Sasha swirled through the door. Despite growing up in New York City, she was perpetually cold and wearing a winter coat. Catching sight of him, she made her way across the room and leaned up to press a kiss to his lips. Nothing special, a hey-honey-I'm-home kind of a kiss, but Tom could feel the warmth flow through him at the simple contact. He nodded towards the counter. "What would you like?"
Sasha picked up his cup, taking a sip before he could warn her, and he watched her eyes grow wide. "Not whatever this is."
"Apple cider," Tom explained. "Jed thinks it's the best in the city."
"I suggest you replace it with something with caffeine," Sasha replied, nose wrinkling at the aftertaste. "Oh, do they have those pumpkin scones?"
Five minutes later, Tom was back with two coffees and a box of scones. The kids liked those too so no harm in having a couple of extras on-hand. Sasha picked up her coffee, then raised an eyebrow. "You going to tell me why you wanted to meet here?"
"It's not reminding you of the old days?" Tom asked, taking a sip of his own coffee. Much better.
"You mean the days when we had to meet in coffee shops because you were an instructor and I was a student and hooking up in your office would have been monumentally stupid?" Sasha asked bluntly, although her mouth did curve slightly. "No."
Tom sat back, enjoying the feel of doing something so damn normal. "I never did this with Darien."
"Do what? Drink coffee?" Sasha asked, sounding confused.
"Yes," Tom replied, before elaborating. "Darien was always into a holistic lifestyle. She doesn't drink coffee, just tea. And, besides, coffee shops made me think of you."
Sasha's head tilted and Tom thought she was going to say something about Darien, but instead she set her cup down, twisting it around and around. "I meet Danny in coffee shops all the time. He always buys me some ridiculous latte drink. Not that he drinks the stuff himself, but Frankie likes to experiment. In fact, I'll pass along Jed's tip about the apple cider."
Tom let that sit, waiting to see if it bothered him knowing that coffee shops were no longer Sasha's thing with him but rather with Danny. It didn't. At some point during the time between leaving for Mexico City and returning, Tom had made his peace with Danny. Or, rather, made his peace with Danny's relationship with Sasha. Although, Tom realized, maybe it wasn't just about Mexico City, but about getting a glimpse of Sasha's reality, a world inhabited by Gisperts and Karls. People who never laid all of their cards on the table. Yet, somehow, Sasha found her people. Those she could trust, who would do whatever it took to keep her safe and happy. That was a rarity in their world but, particularly, in her world, and Tom found himself feeling glad that she had people she could rely on, especially now when everything was so crazy.
Sasha spoke again. "It became a joke, actually, because I never agreed to meet on base."
"Because you didn't want anyone to see you?" Tom asked.
"After a while, yes," Sasha replied, before admitting. "But at the beginning it was because I didn't want to run into you."
"I used to look for you," Tom said softly. "Even when I was married to Darien, I used to sometimes think that I saw you out of the corner of my eye. But when I turned to look, it was never you."
Sasha took a sip of her coffee. "Do you think, if things had been different, we would have made it work?"
"Yes."
He had spoken without pause, not a doubt in his mind that if he had gotten that letter, their lives would have been completely different. Sasha tipped her head. "What makes you so sure? Even then, there were things that we didn't agree about. For example, I wasn't sure that I wanted children."
Tom lifted his own cup, rolling it around in his hands, wondering what Sasha was trying to say. "You seem to get along well with Sam and Ashley."
"I do. They're great kids," Sasha reassured him, before getting to the point. "That isn't the issue. I just don't know that my job is compatible with raising them." Sasha paused, meeting Tom's gaze. "And I don't want to cause tension between you and the kids or you and Darien."
Ah, they were back to that.
Tom studied Sasha, trying to figure out what she was thinking. After the way Sasha reacted to the word marriage — even when said in a manner clearly meant as a joke — Tom hadn't wanted to take the risk of pushing her too hard. Maybe giving her space had been the wrong approach after all. He set down his coffee, folding his arms across his chest. "Let me see if I have this right. You and Darien get along so well that she calls you whenever she needs help with her yoga studio proposal."
Sasha waved a hand. "I have Shannon. She's good at logistics."
"Is that really a valid use of government resources?" Tom asked, before continuing without waiting for an answer. "Sam loves you and Ashley tolerates you about as much as anyone these days."
"Sam likes me because he idolizes Chris Green," Sasha pointed out, before the corner of her mouth curved. "And Ashley reminds me of myself at that age."
"My dad clearly loves you," Tom continued, he tipped his head, deciding it was time to put his cards on the table. "If anything, Sasha, things are better with you around. In fact, that's why I asked you here."
Sasha raised an eyebrow. "Yes?"
"There's a townhouse across the street that I'm viewing in," Tom checked his watch, "twenty-seven minutes. I'd like you to come with me to see the place. So we can decide if that's where we want to live."
Behind her coffee cup, Sasha's eyes grew wide. "We?"
"Yes, we. I'm not promising that Ashley won't throw a few I-hate-yous in your direction. But having you around is a net plus and I'd like to make that change permanent. What do you think?" Tom held his breath. This hadn't been the plan, after all. He had intended to ask her to come look at the place, yes, but he hadn't planned to mention anything about moving in together. Not yet, anyway.
What was it about Sasha that turned all of his carefully made plans on their head?
"I think," Sasha said, smiling as she stood. "That I need a refill before braving that wind."
