THE FOURTH TIME

I don't have time between my run and class this morning, so I'm heading to class with my hair swinging down my back in a high ponytail and my track jacket zipped up to my chin, in my yoga pants and trainers. I'm buzzing from the endorphins though, so I feel more confident that I think I would otherwise. Which, incidentally, was the entire point of running longer and farther than I've ever run before.

Aaron is waiting for me, freshly showered, outside the lecture hall. It's been a couple of days since our last class - since I first saw Edward - and my heart is fluttering inside my chest. I tell myself it's post run jitters.

"How far did you go?" Aaron asks when I approach him. He hands me an iced coffee.

"Four miles."

His eyebrows raise. I've never run that far before. He can tell something's up, but I'm grateful he doesn't ask me what's wrong.

"I got you this too," he starts digging around in his bag and pulls out egg and cheese on an everything bagel. "You'll need protein and carbs after a run like that." I'm so grateful for Aaron right now that my eyes start to tear up.

"Thank you," I breathe, embarrassingly overcome with emotions.

We say hi to Rick as we head to our usual seats. My eyes are trained resolutely on Aaron's broad back, and I watch as he stops at the entrance to our row. I don't need to ask why. Of course, he'd be there.

"Why don't we sit up closer?" I suggest, a mouth full of bagel and egg and cheese. It covers up my shaking voice.

Aaron doesn't comment, just turns and leads the way to the first row. I don't look back.

Rick seems surprised when he comes in and we've switched seats, but he gives us a warm smile as he begins his lecture on queerness in The Taming of the Shrew. I take much better notes this time between bites of bagel.

Rick ends by explaining our midterm group presentation, in which we need to compare a film adaptation to one of Shakespeare's source texts. He hands out an assignment sheet with groups listed and Aaron grins widely when he sees we are paired together. He nudges me playfully with his elbow.

I smile as I look over the group list but then my stomach drops: of fucking course the third person in our group is Edward fucking Cullen.

Annnnd of course he's there at the end of the row introducing himself to Aaron as I pack up my belongings. And of course they're laughing about something. My ears are ringing again. They're exchanging numbers and Aaron is offering to start a group chat and I'm not even physically there anymore. I'm in space. I'm in Hell.

When we finally meet eyes, Edward's are hopeful, golden. At least he listened to me and hunted finally.

"Can I walk you to your next class?" He asks hopefully, adjusting the bag on his shoulder like an eager schoolboy.

"Fine," I mutter. I'm so frustrated that I almost forget to say goodbye to Aaron. But then just for fun, I give him a hug and thank him again for breakfast. Edward's eyes are tight as we walk out of the lecture hall.

"What ideas do you have for the presentation?" He asks me. Oh, so we are just going to pretend I didn't drop a bomb yesterday at dinner. Cool, cool, cool.

"Scotland, PA, and Macbeth." His eyes have lit up at my answer.

"I haven't seen that before. Can you explain the premise to me?"

I sigh as we cross the street. "It's Macbeth."

Edward pretends I'm not obstinate and jests, "I couldn't tell."

One corner of my mouth turns up without permission. Stupid, traitorous mouth. "It's a dark comedy, set in a fast food restaurant." I tighten my ponytail. "You'll like it." I add quietly.

He smiles crookedly at me and my heart thuds against my chest. Stupid, traitorous heart.

We are approaching the science building and I stop at the bottom of the steps to look up at him accusingly. "How did you even transfer in the middle of the semester?"

He chuckles. "I have my ways."

"Are you responsible for the group thing too?"

"That's just serendipitous."

I scrutinize his face. I can't tell if he's lying.

"Scout's honor," he promises, holding three fingers up like he's a Boy Scout. Maybe he was.

I scoff and start walking up the stairs. He follows me. "Edward." It's the first time in years that I've said his name out loud and it hurts on the way out. My voice cracks.

He ignores my stupid, traitorous voice. "Can I have your number?" He asks.

Right. I got my first cell phone after…

"Purely for project purposes," he adds with a wink. He's holding his iPhone out to me. I type in my number. My fingers are shaking.

"Purely for project purposes." I mimic, narrowing my eyes at him. "I'm going to class now."

I see his fingers twitch toward me and my mind flashes back to all the times he caressed my cheek junior year outside of the gym, but before he can do or say anything else, I'm walking inside the science building.

~~~~

That night, I'm unpacking boxes of shipments in the back room at work when my phone starts buzzing on the table next to me.

It's Aaron and the Dreaded Group Project Chat.

Aaron: when can we all get together to plan this out?

I decide to respond before Edward can. I try to picture a hundred year old vampire texting and laugh. Does he even know how?

I already have a plan. Next Friday afternoon to watch the film? In the meantime, I add Edward's number into my phone. I save it under E.

I can't even type out his name. Pathetic.

I start unpacking the next box. My eyes keep sliding to my phone though.

Aaron: that works for me. my place is gonna b 2 crazy 2 watch a film. can we do it at urs, B?

E: I'll make whatever you two decide work.

For a second, I admire the difference in generations as it pertains to texting habits.

Then I realize of course Edward will make "whatever we decide work" because he literally has nothing else going on besides stalking me in a misguided attempt to get on my good side again.

I bite my lip as my fingers hover over the keys. Does Edward even have an apartment? Knowing the Cullens, they probably have an entire mansion nearby…

Yeah. I hit my head against the box I'm unpacking a couple of times for good measure.

My phone buzzes a minute later. It's a separate text from Edward, not in the group chat. I decide not to answer right away. I unpack two more boxes before I can't handle it anymore.

E: I'm glad our project is in competent hands.

I put my phone down and decide to leave him on read.

I focus on folding merchandise and updating price sheets. Suddenly, I'm texting him back.

Are we just going to ignore the bombshell I dropped at dinner yesterday?

I hit send before I can second guess myself. Immediately, I see three little dots pop up on my screen like he was just holding his phone in his hand waiting for me to respond. I tap my foot impatiently.

E: Do you want to talk about it now?

B: No.

I let a few seconds pass.

B: … Maybe.

E: What happened?

My hands shake as I answer. B: She came. Jake handled it.

E: … How?

And then I remember. He didn't know about the wolves. Can I text about that? Is that breaking some type of supernatural code?

B: he's… yknow. He's gotta know.

E: I see.

B: So…

E: What do you want me to say?

B: Idk.

I'm gnawing on my lip so hard that it hurts. Three bubbles pop up again.

B: Don't apologize again. I type it out quickly and hit send.

Edward doesn't reply for a few minutes. I picture him running his hands through his hair or pinching his nose in frustration.

I only have ten minutes left of my shift, so I take the cardboard out to recycling and start packing up for the night. Roger is working front, so we close up together and I take the bus home.

I look at my phone at least three more times to see that he hasn't responded.

As I get cozy in bed that evening after tidying up my apartment, I hear my phone buzz. I grab it so quickly that I blush. I'm so glad no one is around to see that.

It's him.

E: Can we start over?

It's so tempting to say no. There's so much between us. But it's also been four years. I'm a different person and I think maybe I shouldn't freeze him in time.

I stare at the window by my bed. The moonlight is bright behind the closed blinds. I picture him out there somewhere. Close by. If he does still love me, he'd be close by.

Before I can second guess myself, I type out a message and hit send.

B: Okay.

I sigh and shake it out. Then, I consider what I need to change between us in order to make this work for me.

B: I'll send you my ground rules in the morning.

E: There will be ground rules?

B: Yes.

B: I just need time to draft them.

B: Night.

E: Sleep well, sweet Bella.

B: Rule number 1: no to whatever that was.

E: Noted.

I thought this was going to be a four chapter fic but Bella really needs more time here to figure out what she wants and Edward needs space to figure out how much she's changed too. He was... not a good boyfriend in Twilight and New Moon.

Y'all are killing me with your comments. I love 'em. Thank you.