Chapter 13 – Alicante

My room lay bare and impersonal in front of me. It had cost me some effort to even open the door and go inside. The light of the evening sun threw a faint glow into the room, just enough to see the few furniture and objects in the white painted room. Even so, I decided not to turn on the light. I found the darkness pleasant.

The only personal thing in the room were the photos Adam and I had taken and printed during our tour of the city. A few clothes lay folded on the chair in front of the desk. The sight of them felt like a pang in my heart because I knew who had put them there.

The feeling of loneliness came suddenly and took me by surprise completely. It felt like my organs were spasmodically contracting, like a hole that had opened in the middle of my stomach and wouldn't close anymore. I felt the sudden need to wrap my arms around my body as if that would keep me from falling apart. My fingertips began to tremble and soon it spread to my entire body. The oxygen left my lungs, I couldn't breathe. With a gasp, I sat down on the bed and tucked my legs under my chin.

I was alone, completely alone. The only person I had left – that I could fully trust – was dead. No one in the world knew me and understood my situation like she had. She was the only person I loved unconditionally. The last eighteen years in isolation had left this new and free world completely alien to me. I didn't know how to find my way around here. My mother was able to show me the way as she had once lived in this free world. Without her I was lost. She had formed the thin and already fragile link to Maryse and the Lightwoods and now that she was gone, there was no reason for them to hold on to me. They all already hated me. Isabelle, Alec and Jace, they hated me and so would the other Shadowhunters in Alicante. They would want and demand my death for my father's crimes.

Only Adam seemed to like me, at least he had until now. I didn't know what he thought of me after what happened in the infirmary. The anger and sadness ate through my veins, and I felt the heat in my palms that seemed to build up as if just waiting for the right moment to be released. But I wasn't like Jonathan, I wouldn't let the anger get the better of me. I would uphold the Council's values even if they were foreign to me. In Alicante I would have enough time to learn them. Jocelyn would have wanted it that way.

The few things I owned fit into the black bag I had carried with me on our escape from Idris. We would make the journey to Alicante after dark. A quick look out the window told me I still had a little time. I shed my worn Shadowhunter gear and put on a plain white dress instead. White for death and deathwatch.

"Ave atque vale."

oOo

As soon as the sun completely disappeared behind the horizon of the skyscrapers, I entered the garden behind the Institute. With slow steps I moved along the stone path around the corner of the building, between tall larks, to the end of the garden. The others were already gathered and raised their heads when they heard me coming.

Isabelle glanced at my dress and quickly bowed her head. Jace didn't look at me, as usual. To my surprise, Magnus Bane stood on the fringes of the gathering. His lips curled into his sad smile, and he gave me a quick hug.

"I'm terribly sorry, dear," he said in a wistful voice. His cat eyes shone in the glow of the elven light. "Jocelyn was an extraordinary woman who gave her life to save that of so many others." Isabelle snorted and Magnus shot her an ice-cold look. "People who meddle in affairs without knowing the whole truth have always been my favorite." Isabelle pursed her lips, but I could see a look of surprise in her half-closed eyes. "You're lucky to have had a mother like her," he said, smiling slightly. "Not many people would risk as much or sacrifice as much as she did."

"Thank you, Magnus," was all I managed to say. My throat tightened and my eyes started to burn. I choked back the tears with difficulty. This wasn't the place for it.

Adam joined us, a smile graced his face. Sometimes his smiles annoyed me, he always seemed to be in a good mood. He denied problems as if they didn't exist. No matter how bad I was, he always had to keep his friendly face. As if his kindness would get me through my problems or brighten my mood in general.

My gaze wandered over the Shadowhunters present. Some faces I didn't recognize were also there, but two people was missing. "Where's Alec?"

"He hasn't recovered sufficiently from his injuries," Adam said, following my gaze. "They have already taken him to Alicante separately by ambulance." As the saying goes, the sick first. I nodded and spied the dark shadow of a person turning the corner of the Institute and heading straight for us.

At first, I thought it was Isabelle. But Isabelle was already standing with us, and her walk might be sexy, but not nearly as elegant as her mother's. Maryse's hair was pulled back in a tight ponytail and she looked me up and down as I approached. "Perhaps the Council members will see your grief as a sign of your humanity," she said directly, but her voice didn't sound mocking or arrogant, but rather hopeful and calculating.

Her words made me aware once again of the potential danger I was actually exposing myself to here. The Council could have me executed on the spot if it wished. It could see a spy for Valentine in me. A masterfully crafted plan that even sacrifices her own mother to make the insidious game all the more real. My father had told me quite a bit about the Council and not much of it was positive. Each of my words, each of my gestures and movements as well as my appearance as a whole could and would be used against me in case of doubt.

I nodded silently and stepped aside so Maryse could get past me to Magnus. "Is everyone gathered?" she asked the group. A murmur of agreement was the answer. Maryse turned to Magnus and gestured for him to open the portal.

Magnus then moved a few meters away from the group and raised his hands in a theatrical gesture. Sparks flew from his fingertips and a moment later the brick wall disappeared in a white swirl of light. He turned and gestured for the Shadowhunters to pass through. One by one they walked through the white wall and immediately disappeared into it. Maryse stayed at the edge of the portal while she waited for everyone to go through.

In the end we were the only ones left. I watched Jace step angelically through the portal, each of his movements with such strength and grace that one wondered if his entire demeanor was staged rather than natural. When Maryse finally turned to me, I walked towards the portal and gave Magnus one last look. He winked, a small grin on his face, before the portal's power closed around my arms like clinging fingers, pulling me into its wake.

Seconds later I was standing on a marbled patio. Light blinded me and it took me a moment to get used to it. When I opened my eyes, there was a large ancient city in front of me. Golden hues adorned the roofs, lanes meandered randomly between houses and buildings of all sizes. Part of the city rested on a slope while the other part emptied into a valley. A pastel blue horizon stretched out behind hills and mountains, trees stretched towards the horizon and the sun bathed everything in a warm, peaceful light. The Demon Towers made of pure Adamant demarcated the city in the four cardinal directions. A crystal-clear river divided the city in two and emptied into many small canals.

I couldn't take my eyes off the city. I remembered the few times Jonathan and I had been able to observe it from afar. The longing to get closer to Alicante had felt like there was a magnet in my chest pulling me there.

"Clary." Adam's voice seemed to reach my ear from afar. Somehow, I managed to turn my head in his direction. We were standing on a terrace overlooking Alicante and bordering a large, majestic building. The Gard. Built at the highest point of Alicante, it was the most protected against attack and enemies could be seen from afar.

Most of the Shadowhunters who had traveled with us from New York had already left. Only Maryse, Adam, Jace and Isabelle lingered. Adam and Isabelle watched me while Maryse and Jace made their way toward the reception committee. A tall woman in majestic combat gear stood motionless a few paces from the portal, her gray hair slicked back magnificently but her features were hard. She studied me with cold, blue eyes, mistrust in her gaze. Shadowhunters were stationed around them, keeping a close eye on us.

"Maryse Lightwood," she said authoritatively, and Maryse, who was usually so bold and assertive, bowed her head without saying a word. Apparently, she had left her dominion with New York. "So this is her," the woman continued, turning back to me. "Clarissa Morgenstern, come closer child."

Though her words weren't derogatory or demanding, the command was clear. But I was already used to that tone of voice from my father, neither did I take it personally nor increased it my respect for her. Nevertheless, I did what she said, I had to maintain a good face to the bad game after all.

"Clary, this is Inquisitor Herondale," Maryse explained as if I didn't know who was standing in front of me. It was better not to let any of them know that of course, I already knew who held the high offices of the Council. Instead, I tried to smile.

The Inquisitor eyed me briefly, then her gaze shifted to Jace, and her entire demeanor seemed to shift in one fell swoop. A warmth spread in her eyes; the corners of her mouth twisted into a sad smile. "How are you, Jonathan?"

"It's alright." Jace nodded and gave me a sideways glance. "I'll be fine, grandmother." It was only now that I understood the Inquisitor's question. She worried about Jace; afraid my presence might affect him. Because my father was responsible for the death of his parents, for the death of her son.

"Then it's time for me to deal with our special guest," she continued, her blue eyes locking with mine again. Maryse bowed her head and gestured for the others leave us. They followed her in a single file. Jace was the last to move and gave me one last unreadable look. Then we were alone. Me, the Inquisitor and her bodyguards, who immediately surrounded me as soon as the door slammed shut behind Jace.

I tried to stay calm, not to panic. I wasn't allowed to adopt an aggressive attitude, that would immediately turn her against me. I had to keep a cool head and stay calm, at least not let my tension show.

The Inquisitor approached me with a cold face, her eyes were scrutinizing and one could see that she was trying to establish a facial connection between me and Valentin. We just stared at each other for a while, her eyes strained and I neutral. "You look like your mother," the Inquisitor finally said, and sighed.

I didn't know what to say, didn't know this world and its norms. Any word I said could infuriate her, so I said nothing and swallowed. My arms hung uselessly along my body, yet I felt the need to clench my hands into fists and dig my fingers into the hem of the dress.

"As I'm sure you know, the Council lacks trust in you. You're tolerated because Jocelyn was tolerated," she explained, frowning. "Jocelyn never really broke the law, even though she never faced the Council. She has not assisted in any acts against the Council. If she were here, all of this would probably be a lot easier for you. Whatever side you are really on, you could have hidden behind your mother and her knowledge of this society. In the recent circumstances this is different, you have to deal with it yourself and I believe that without your mother it will be very difficult to convince the Council of your innocence."

"Innocence?" I blurted out. My voice was hoarse and thin, not at all like a traitor's. "What have I done?"

The Inquisitor laughed a mirthless laugh. "You are Valentin Morgenstern's daughter. The Council fears your existence enough to want you dead without much offense. None of us can say exactly what you are capable of, how much you know about this world, about its norms and laws. Many Shadowhunters think your father raised you according to his teachings and traditions. They fear you could turn out to be a weapon at any time. Like I said, we don't know what you're capable of."

I was amazed that the Inquisitor spoke so frankly. My father hadn't told me much about her, only that she was a bitter, old woman obsessed with enforcing the law as harshly as possible. "I ... can understand the Council's concerns," I uttered slowly. "If I were in your place, I probably wouldn't trust me either. You are right when you say that our father shaped our lives, but our mother also had a great influence on us. I can tell good from bad, otherwise I wouldn't be here."

"That may be so, but there is no proof for anything," she replied immediately. "Can you prove that you are no longer under Valentine's influence and more importantly that you no longer follow his values?"

I pondered her words. While Valentine made it clear to us that the Council had more weaknesses than strengths, he had never agitated against the Shadowhunters. He'd never railed against anyone; it just wasn't his style. Valentine was a strategist, he quietly and secretly crept into the heads of others. My father had been a master manipulative. His world views had definitely shaped me, but my world wasn't just black and white. My mother had told me his views were wrong, killing someone who could be human was wrong. If I ever met a Downworlder, I wouldn't kill him, even if my instincts told me to. "I follow the rules. I've lived a very limited life for a long time, but that doesn't mean I can't change my perspective on things. I cannot prove that I am not in cahoots with my father, but neither can you or the Council prove otherwise."

I didn't know if I had gone too far. It wasn't meant to sound like a challenge or a provocation, I just meant what I said. "Interesting," said the Inquisitor. "Valentine always had a clever saying on his lips, too. However, that didn't get him very far."

"I'm sorry if I upset you, Inquisitor," I replied quickly, but in a serious tone. "But if this world is supposed to be fair, regulated by law, then I have rights too, haven't I? A constitutional state cannot simply convict its citizens without evidence."

"Very well." The Inquisitor smiled; it was a dark, cruel smile. "The question now is whether you are also a citizen of our state."

I pressed my lips together. Arguing with the Inquisitor wasn't a good idea, I'd only irritate her even more. What was I expecting? Valentine had killed her son, Stephen Herondale. She probably saw me only as my father and projected all her hatred onto me. Nevertheless, she seemed reasonably calm to me, I had expected worse.

"The next few weeks will be tough for you, Clarissa. It would all be so easy if we had Mellartach here to get the unfiltered truth from you. There are some witch spells that can do this, but they are not nearly as pronounced as the Soul Sword and their effect is very short-lived and hurts much more than the sword. It will be very difficult for you to convince the Council of the truth." Finally, the Inquisitor began to move. I followed her in silence.

We entered the building; it had high ceilings with some paintings and pictures. Though similar in construction to the Institute, the corridors were paler and bare. One automatically felt lonely, it was a little intimidating. Maybe that was the purpose of the Gard: to intimidate people who didn't belong here.

"For a long time, the Council believed Valentine to be dead." The Inquisitor's voice cut through the silence like a knife. And yet talking was more comfortable than silence. "For eighteen years, Shadowworld lived in a peaceful time, Shadowhunters alongside Downworlders. One has slowly begun to get used to the new times only to learn from Maryse Lightwood that she has given refuge to two women in her Institute. Two women fleeing Valentine Morgenstern and his son." Suddenly she stopped and turned to me, a flame blazing in her cold eyes.

"As if Valentine's return after eighteen years wasn't enough, he brought children into the world, two of them. Only then did we realize that we had been fooled for nearly two decades. While the Shadowhunters had thought to be safe, Valentine had had eighteen years to create a new weapon: you and your brother. He could feed you lies about the Shadow World, train you to become powerful warriors, and pass on knowledge that normal Shadowhunters wouldn't learn in this way. We know Valentine, but you and your brother Jonathan, this is new territory for us. We don't know you."

"I can assure you that I have no grudges against the Shadowhunters. I could have stayed with my father; my mother gave me the choice. But after everything she told me, I didn't want to go back to him. In my eyes, he did unforgivable things. Valentine has trained us wide-ranging; I don't know the training of the Shadowhunters so I can't compare it, but the reactions from the Shadowhunters at the New York Institute were unequivocal. I don't want to use that power against the Shadowhunters, I'm not here for this reason."

"Then why are you here, Clarissa?" The Inquisitor regarded me, her eyes full of life experience.

"Precisely because I'm Valentin's daughter, I've never been allowed to lead a free life. Every day was strictly scheduled, there was no free time. Now I am able to live a free life away from my family and I want to do that. I want to finally get to know this world, my roots and the culture of the Shadowhunters." I was telling the truth. I had spent eighteen years of my life in some kind of captivity without even realizing it. Who knew how long Valentine would have held out until he saw the possibility of another uprising. Maybe it would never have happened and my whole life would have been wasted because he would never have let us go. I didn't know what freedom was, but I wanted to get to know it.

"I get the impression you're willing to talk," she continued. "Your information could give us the opportunity to see through Valentine and his plan and to be prepared for his attack."

"You think there will be an attack?" I stared at her, puzzled. My stomach churned at the thought of Jonathan possibly coming here to take lives.

"Valentine has waited almost two decades, your escape now compels him to act. He has no choice; this could be his last chance to fulfill the plan he seeks. We have to find out exactly what this plan is and how he intends to carry it out." She was Jace's grandmother but didn't look a bit like him except for the blue eyes. The corners of her mouth turned down and she opened her mouth without making a sound, as if something was holding her back. "You might be our only chance to put a stop to Valentine. That means we're going to have to give you a chance. But don't feel safe, Clarissa. It takes just one wrong word, just one mistake you make, and your life of freedom will be over sooner than it started." An unmistakable threat, but I was glad because I was given a chance.

However, as it turned out, I wasn't completely free. During our conversation, the Inquisitor set the framework for my freedom. I wasn't allowed to go anywhere alone. At least one person had to accompany me at all times. Of course, I wasn't allowed to carry weapons, wasn't allowed to leave the city, and only attended meetings of the Council with its approval. If needed, there would be interrogations and my skills would be tested regularly. I could understand her concerns. Still, I was deeply relieved by her decision not to let me rot in a cell for the duration of my stay in Alicante.

We were no longer in one of the garrison corridors, but in the Inquisitor's office. She was sitting at her desk, behind her was a glass cabinet with old, restored knives and daggers. Some of them were made of pure Adamant or demon metal, very high quality and valuable. The Inquisitor caught my gaze. "Are you looking at something in particular?" Her voice sounded too neutral; she tried not to let her interest show.

I slowly nodded. "The Kindjal of demon metal, I only know it from books."

"According to legend, it came from the Endless Nothing. Demon metal does not occur naturally in this world and is therefore very rare," said the Inquisitor. "Very effective against our race." She sighed and turned back to me. "I won't believe you; I won't believe anything that comes out of your mouth unless there's evidence to back it up." How quickly and abruptly that woman could change the subject.

"I'm sorry you feel that way, Inquisitor. Of course, I understand your concerns." What else should I have answered? This world was confusing. I wasn't practiced enough in its behavior, values and feelings. I still had so much to learn and hoped that here I would be able to become familiar with the Shadowhunters more quickly.

The Inquisitor ignored my words, instead picking up a piece of paper from her desk. "Your first interrogation will take place this evening," she said without looking up. "You'll be staying at the Lightwoods' house, it's all settled. You have a few hours to recover from the time difference, you will then be picked up at the Lightwoods."

I should live under the same roof as Alec, Isabelle and Jace? She couldn't mean that seriously. I sighed to myself in dismay. That would be a disaster. Adam would live in his own home with his family, who had also returned from Toronto. Suddenly, I wished to stay here longer, but the Inquisitor was right. The time difference was one thing, but little time had passed since the fight in New York and my health came first, it was already struck. I managed to get myself out of the infirmary this morning, but that didn't mean I was a hundred percent fit.

"Are you all right?" the Inquisitor asked, examining me closely. Since when was it so easy for other people to read my emotions on my face?

I nodded. "I'm just wondering how I'm going to get to the Lightwoods now. I don't know the way and I can't go alone." She knew I was lying; I could tell by looking at her. But she didn't elaborate further.

"Don't worry, I've already arranged for someone to escort you to the Lightwoods' home." At that moment, the door to her office opened and a tall, sturdy, olive-skinned man walked in. He had short black hair, his jaw was clenched tightly, and he had his hands tucked into the pockets of his worn-out pants. His blue eyes, sparkling like sapphires, were fixed on me. He stood in the doorway and didn't move a step forward. There was a pained expression in his eyes. That's how most people would feel when they saw Valentine's daughter for the first time. Only now, when I took a closer look, did I notice that he didn't have any rune marks. A dark foreboding rose up in me.

"Clarissa, this is Luke Garroway, leader of the New York werewolf pack. He is probably known to you as Lucian Graymark."

I hope you liked this chapter! Just to warn you: It might happen that I won't post as regularly in the coming weeks because next week, I'm starting my semester abroad. I'll be out of my country until the end of July. Buuut I'll try to continue translating/uploading! I just can't say for sure since I'm not there yet and don't know how exhausting it'll be. I still hope that you'll keep following my story because I'll definitely finish it! :)

What do you think about the chapter itself? I hope you liked it! Please leave me a comment and tell me! :D

See you soon (hopefully haha),
Skyllen :)